Willow couldn't help herself. She kept glancing at Tara. She was so close to her Tara yet there were dissimilarities. Not just that she was with Faith.
Tara and Faith.
She had to get over her feelings of Faith. She had heard from Angel that she sincerely was seeking redemption for what she did. Not just killing the mayor's aide but for all the havoc she caused both here and in LA.
She could sympathize with her Faith now but it was still hard to see the soft looks Tara sent her way.
Giles interrupted her thoughts about Tara when he handed her a cup of tea.
Willow smiled at Giles and took a sip and then began to cough.
"What's in this?"
Giles smiled, "Thought you might need something a little stronger than just tea to fortify you for this discussion. It's brandy."
Willow smiled wistfully. "Just like everything else. Not quite my Sunnydale."
"I take it your Rupert Giles didn't put brandy in his tea?"
"Well, if he did he didn't give us any."
Willow caught the glint of a diamond in his ear. Looks like this Giles was more Ripper than hers. She couldn't imagine Giles with an earring no matter how hard she tried.
Giles indicated that they should all sit.
"Maybe it would be best if you told us about your Sunnydale first. That would save us time from explaining about ours." Giles glanced over at Tara who nodded.
Willow watched the silent interplay between the two. "Yes, the truth spell is still working. Tara was always good with spells."
Oh crap. Crap, crap, crap. She hadn't meant to mention her Tara. It just slipped out.
"W-was?"
Willow closed her eyes, sighed and turned to where Tara and Faith sat.
"Sorry. My Tara was."
Faith noticed the softly spoken 'my'. That explained the sad looks she sent their way.
"In my Sunnydale I met Tara in college. We met in a Wicca group that was more into bake sales than actually practicing magick."
Tara shuddered at the idea of a Wiccan group not actually practicing. You had to keep your skills sharp if you were to survive this war. Wanna bes were some of the first to go.
Willow made a decision that she would tell them everything. It wasn't just the truth spell. If they were to completely trust her they needed to know everything. The good, the bad and the ugly.
"I actually met Rupert Giles the summer before I met Buffy Summers. He had come to Sunnydale High to be the school librarian. It wasn't until I met Buffy that I found out he was her Watcher."
"Hey G-man. If you were Buffy's Watcher in her Sunnydale wonder who Wesley was."
"Wesley? He was your watcher after your Watcher Gwendolyn Post."
Faith jumped and began to pace. "That bitch was my Watcher? How could they make that insane woman my watcher?"
Giles' lips quirked as he watched his Slayer pace. She was so caught up in the idea of Gwendolyn as her watcher.
"Faith. It wasn't you. It was Willow's Faith that had her as a watcher."
"Yeah but for a twist of fate it could have been me. God no wonder your version of me was screwed up."
"I guess this version's Gwendolyn also tried to get the Glove of Myhnegon, too."
"What? No. Never heard of the Glove. She's Ethan's second in command."
"She's a witch?"
"A very powerful witch. Almost as powerful as Ethan and I."
"B-but she's not as powerful as you are." Tara said to Willow.
"I wasn't always this powerful. Far from it actually. I lacked proper training and control."
"Your Giles didn't teach you?"
"No, kinda learned it on my own after Jenny."
"Jenny?"
Willow bit her lip and wondered if bringing up Jenny would have bittersweet memories for this Giles.
"Jenny Calendar?"
Her name received blank stares. "Janna Calderash. A gypsy techno pagan who watches Angel to make sure he's still cursed with a soul?"
Well the name of Angel got a reaction.
"You're Angel is cursed with a soul?"
Willow looked sad, "Please don't tell me that this version of Angel is really Angelus and he's still stalking and killing."
"N-no. He's still Angel and he has a soul. It's just not a curse. Angel, Darla, Druscilla and William all were given permanent souls by the Wizarding council at the turn of the century. When the Wizard community was just beginning to split into factions. Our side decided they needed the help of demons and vampires if they were to have any hope of holding their own against the others. Their dark magick drew all kinds of demons to them and their cause but of course our side couldn't."
Faith took over the explaining from Giles, "So it was decided that they needed the worst and most dangerous. They captured the Scourge of Europe and gave them permanent souls. In wanting to redeem for past actions they joined our side. They've been a big help in keeping Ethan and Gwendolyn at bay."
"How did Ethan become head wizard to the other side? In my reality he practiced magick but he didn't have that kind of power."
"In my youth Ethan and I dabbled in the magicks. In our arrogance we thought we could handle anything." Giles looked down at the floor and Faith put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Eyghon?" Willow asked softly.
Giles lips quirked, "I take it your Rupert was just as misguided? Anyway. When our friend died I left and reevaluated my direction. Unfortunately Ethan didn't. He liked the power. The idea of holding someone's life in his hands was tempting. He studied and met with wizards who were proficient in the dark arts. They trained him much more intensely than we had studied. He became a master and wielded his magick with an iron fist and quickly rose in the ranks. Mostly through fear but he is also very powerful."
Willow shuddered. It was like looking in a cracked dark mirror. This Ethan was how she had been in her world if Giles hadn't first given her a dose of white magick and Xander hadn't touched her heart.
Tara noticed Willow biting her lip. She could practically see the wheels turning as she came to a decision.
"I think I need to tell you about me. All about me. It started when I restored Angel's soul after he lost it while I was in high school. After Angelus killed Jenny so she couldn't restore his soul we thought Buffy would have to kill him. I found the Romany spell to curse his soul again and I was determined to do it. After that it was easy to use a spell when needed to defeat the current evil."
"You relied on it. It set you apart from others and made you feel special."
It wasn't a question but a statement.
Willow nodded and continued, "By the time we faced a hell goddess I would have done anything to defeat her." She turned to Tara, "My Tara was my everything. Glorificus sucked her sanity away. I told Buffy and the others I could help. And I could but I wasn't really doing it to protect the world. That was an added bonus. I was going into the dark arts to bring Tara back."
Giles eyes popped wide. "You defeated a hell goddess?"
Willow sadly smiled, "No I weakened a hell goddess that was already weak. She would turn into a human male. It was her punishment from her dimension to keep her weak. My Giles killed Ben which in turn killed Glory."
"I was able to restore Tara's mind but in doing so I became addicted to the power. I hid it from my friends well but eventually I couldn't hide it anymore. Tara left me because of it."
Faith reached over to hold her girlfriend's hand.
"The shock of Tara leaving me and my hurting those I cared about helped me to fight back. Looking back I shouldn't have stopped cold but the others thought like an alcoholic I shouldn't have any magick."
Giles winced at his version of Giles. How could his counterpart not have seen the destructive path she was on? Especially if what she said about him was true. He should have remembered his own misspent youth.
Willow saw his expression. "Oh Giles tried to warn me. Wouldn't listen. I thought I was different. He even called me an arrogant rank amateur who didn't know what I was doing. Course that was after I brought Buffy back from the dead."
They all gasped. Tara and Giles had felt her power but to perform the kind of magick she talked about so young and without proper training shocked them.
"Anyway, I got better or at least I thought I had. Tara and I got back together and my life was looking up. We had an annoying triumvirate to battle but they were more of a nuisance than anything. Or so we thought. The leader of the Nerd Squad was Warren. When his efforts failed he resorted to violence against Buffy. He came to her house and pulled a gun."
Willow wiped the tears from her eyes and turned from Tara. She couldn't look at her and relive her pain.
"He shot Buffy but a stray bullet came through our bedroom window. T-tara died in my arms."
Faith squeezed Tara's hand and softly looked at Willow. "I'm sorry."
Just those softly spoken words from Faith helped Willow continue. Willow nodded and whispered, "Thanks."
"I was distraught." An ironic laugh escaped Willow. "Distraught doesn't really cover it. I called on Osiris to bring Tara back. I was denied and from that point on I ceased to exist. I embraced the dark arts. Literally. I went to the Magic Box and absorbed the magick from the ancient texts."
Giles began to pace. He saw the similarities with Ethan but he also saw the differences. The genuine regret and remorse.
Willow looked up with tear filled eyes. "I killed Warren, attacked my friends and almost destroyed the world. Giles injected me with a powerful dose of white magick that allowed me to feel and be connected to the Earth. But instead of feeling the healing power of the Earth's magick I felt everyone's pain. I just wanted to end it all."
"Well, since you came here I'm guessing you didn't."
Trust Faith to cut to the chase.
"No, Xander concluded what Giles began. Giles' magick dose allowed a crack of humanity to enter and Xander's unconditional love finally penetrated my heart. Didn't end my pain or the world's."
Willow watched as Giles silently paced. She would be lucky if they didn't strip her of her magick.
"Giles took me to England to the coven that gave him his magick. They worked with me for months to control the magick inside. It'll always be a part of me but I can control it."
Giles stopped pacing and looked at her. "I know you can." He held up his hand to stop her from talking. "And not just because of the truth spell. I felt your power when you entered the shop. I felt your control over it. I just wasn't sure if you controlled it for Ethan or for someone else."
"And now?"
"I think we can use your help in fighting Ethan."