The Adventures of Capital R and Hat Girl
A/N Those who are disturbed by a naked Grantaire running through Paris dragging a bewildered Eponine behind may want to leave the room NOW! Those who aren't may continue. I do not own Les Miserables. This is based off of a comic book that I have been working on about this same topic just to show the kids at school... The teachers like it even more than the kids. Anyway. Enjoy. Oh! And the parts in parenthesis are what Grantaire is imagining.
Chapter 1.
(The mild mannered Grantaire sits in his usual chair at the Café Musain. Suddenly, he hears a noise! "Help!" The voice cries. Grantaire rips off his clothes to become Capital R! The dashing defender of France! "Tally Ho!" He cries.)
Grantaire ripped off his clothes and ran out of the café, naked. Enjolras watched him leave and sighed, "Oh no... Not again..."
(Capital R hears a young gamine cry.)
"Marius will never love me!" Eponine wept as she sat on the ground in front of Grantaire, oblivious to the nudist that was staring at her.
(Capital R decides to come to her aid! "Have no fear Mademoiselle, for-")
Grantaire leapt out in front of Eponine. Eponine turned to see what had happened only to see the hairy, naked, adorably ugly, unshaven Grantaire. Eponine did what most people would do in this situation... she screamed and passed out.
("La Mademoiselle must've fainted from my sheer beauty." Capital R decides to make her his sidekick as he wakes her up. "Mademoiselle! I will make you my sidekick and you shall be called Hat Girl!" He says as she regains consciousness. )
Meanwhile, at the Café Musain, Enjolras had rounded up Les Amis to go out into Paris to search for the cynical, drunk nudist. "Okay, Grantaire is running around Paris in the nude... again and we have to go find him... again... Prouvaire, get the absinthe."
(Capital R's Amis senses begin to tingle! He takes Hat Girl behind a brick wall for he has to make sure she is safe. He peeks around the wall. He knows that Les Amis, his evil arch-villians will use his weakness, absinthe against him.)
Joly happens to pass by Grantaire. He looks around. "Now, if I were a cynical, drunk nudist, where would I be?"
("Rats!" Capital R hisses. "Hypochondrion is on to us!" Hat Girl peeks around the corner. "That's just Joly, monsieur, and he's a hypochondriac, not Hypochondrion." "Quiet, Hat Girl!")
Joly turns the corner... this proves to be a mistake.
("Oh no! There he is! A mix of animals and the diseases they carry!" Capital R cries. "I'll use my utility belt! Take that, Hypochondrion!" Capital R cries as a yellow light bathes Hypochondrion.)
The dripping wet Joly looks down at his once white, now urine stained shirt and growls as Grantaire and Eponine run off. "Ugh. He freakin' peed on me! Now it's personal!"
(Capital R and Hat Girl arrive at the river Seine. Capital R looks out. "I think we're safe," he says. He looks out to see the Inspector Javert. "Ah an inspector!")
Javert is cursing since he has not found that darn 24601. He looks out in the distance. Then e hears someone clear his throat. He turns around to see the naked Grantaire and a very scared Eponine. He can just barely make out her mouthing "Help me!" Grantaire looks at him with a very serious expression. "Do not worry, police Inspector Javert. Hat Girl and I will take it from here." Javert watches them run off. He then looks into the river. "Jumping into the Seine may not be such a bad idea," He muses.
(Capital and Hat Girl run down a street. They stop by a brick wall. A gamin walks by.)
Gavroche walked by Grantaire and Eponine as he hummed a few songs he had overheard the day before.
("That gamin should not be on the street!" Capital R cried out. He ran to the little gamin.)
Grantaire jumped in front of Gavroche who jus stood looking amused. Grantaire got an extremely stern look on his face. "Little boy, I must tell you-"Gavroche turned to the right and called out, "He's right here boys!"
("Oh no! Les Amis! That little gamin ratted me out! And they have absinthe! Augh!" Capital R cried as he grabbed Hat Girl.)
Les Amis chased Grantaire down the street as he carried the now hysterical Eponine down the street. "Come on, Hat Girl! Let's go!" He could hear Joly shout, "He freakin' peed on me!" Marius shouted, "He has Eponine!" There were shouts of "Get him!" and "This time, he's gone too far!"
(Capital R has been captured now. He is chained to a board as the Red and Black Apollo tries to force a bottle of the evil absinthe down his throat. )
"Look Grantaire," Enjolras growled, "It's the only way to make you normal! Now drink!" Five bottles later, Grantaire was on top of a table singing an impromptu song. He was finally fully clothed again. Enjolras was trying to get him down. Marius was comforting Eponine who thought to herself as she cried hysterically, "Yes! He's finally paying attention to me! No more Cosette! It's all Eponine now! Maybe that nudist is good for something!"
What will happen next? Will Grantaire become Capital R again? Will Eponine finally win Marius' heart? Will the author go to bed so she can go to church in the morning? Tune in next time for more adventures of Capital R and Hat Girl!
A/N: Yes there is a lot of modernisms in this but they are meant to be there for humr's sake. Also, it is meant to change tenses. La Epster
A/N Those who are disturbed by a naked Grantaire running through Paris dragging a bewildered Eponine behind may want to leave the room NOW! Those who aren't may continue. I do not own Les Miserables. This is based off of a comic book that I have been working on about this same topic just to show the kids at school... The teachers like it even more than the kids. Anyway. Enjoy. Oh! And the parts in parenthesis are what Grantaire is imagining.
Chapter 1.
(The mild mannered Grantaire sits in his usual chair at the Café Musain. Suddenly, he hears a noise! "Help!" The voice cries. Grantaire rips off his clothes to become Capital R! The dashing defender of France! "Tally Ho!" He cries.)
Grantaire ripped off his clothes and ran out of the café, naked. Enjolras watched him leave and sighed, "Oh no... Not again..."
(Capital R hears a young gamine cry.)
"Marius will never love me!" Eponine wept as she sat on the ground in front of Grantaire, oblivious to the nudist that was staring at her.
(Capital R decides to come to her aid! "Have no fear Mademoiselle, for-")
Grantaire leapt out in front of Eponine. Eponine turned to see what had happened only to see the hairy, naked, adorably ugly, unshaven Grantaire. Eponine did what most people would do in this situation... she screamed and passed out.
("La Mademoiselle must've fainted from my sheer beauty." Capital R decides to make her his sidekick as he wakes her up. "Mademoiselle! I will make you my sidekick and you shall be called Hat Girl!" He says as she regains consciousness. )
Meanwhile, at the Café Musain, Enjolras had rounded up Les Amis to go out into Paris to search for the cynical, drunk nudist. "Okay, Grantaire is running around Paris in the nude... again and we have to go find him... again... Prouvaire, get the absinthe."
(Capital R's Amis senses begin to tingle! He takes Hat Girl behind a brick wall for he has to make sure she is safe. He peeks around the wall. He knows that Les Amis, his evil arch-villians will use his weakness, absinthe against him.)
Joly happens to pass by Grantaire. He looks around. "Now, if I were a cynical, drunk nudist, where would I be?"
("Rats!" Capital R hisses. "Hypochondrion is on to us!" Hat Girl peeks around the corner. "That's just Joly, monsieur, and he's a hypochondriac, not Hypochondrion." "Quiet, Hat Girl!")
Joly turns the corner... this proves to be a mistake.
("Oh no! There he is! A mix of animals and the diseases they carry!" Capital R cries. "I'll use my utility belt! Take that, Hypochondrion!" Capital R cries as a yellow light bathes Hypochondrion.)
The dripping wet Joly looks down at his once white, now urine stained shirt and growls as Grantaire and Eponine run off. "Ugh. He freakin' peed on me! Now it's personal!"
(Capital R and Hat Girl arrive at the river Seine. Capital R looks out. "I think we're safe," he says. He looks out to see the Inspector Javert. "Ah an inspector!")
Javert is cursing since he has not found that darn 24601. He looks out in the distance. Then e hears someone clear his throat. He turns around to see the naked Grantaire and a very scared Eponine. He can just barely make out her mouthing "Help me!" Grantaire looks at him with a very serious expression. "Do not worry, police Inspector Javert. Hat Girl and I will take it from here." Javert watches them run off. He then looks into the river. "Jumping into the Seine may not be such a bad idea," He muses.
(Capital and Hat Girl run down a street. They stop by a brick wall. A gamin walks by.)
Gavroche walked by Grantaire and Eponine as he hummed a few songs he had overheard the day before.
("That gamin should not be on the street!" Capital R cried out. He ran to the little gamin.)
Grantaire jumped in front of Gavroche who jus stood looking amused. Grantaire got an extremely stern look on his face. "Little boy, I must tell you-"Gavroche turned to the right and called out, "He's right here boys!"
("Oh no! Les Amis! That little gamin ratted me out! And they have absinthe! Augh!" Capital R cried as he grabbed Hat Girl.)
Les Amis chased Grantaire down the street as he carried the now hysterical Eponine down the street. "Come on, Hat Girl! Let's go!" He could hear Joly shout, "He freakin' peed on me!" Marius shouted, "He has Eponine!" There were shouts of "Get him!" and "This time, he's gone too far!"
(Capital R has been captured now. He is chained to a board as the Red and Black Apollo tries to force a bottle of the evil absinthe down his throat. )
"Look Grantaire," Enjolras growled, "It's the only way to make you normal! Now drink!" Five bottles later, Grantaire was on top of a table singing an impromptu song. He was finally fully clothed again. Enjolras was trying to get him down. Marius was comforting Eponine who thought to herself as she cried hysterically, "Yes! He's finally paying attention to me! No more Cosette! It's all Eponine now! Maybe that nudist is good for something!"
What will happen next? Will Grantaire become Capital R again? Will Eponine finally win Marius' heart? Will the author go to bed so she can go to church in the morning? Tune in next time for more adventures of Capital R and Hat Girl!
A/N: Yes there is a lot of modernisms in this but they are meant to be there for humr's sake. Also, it is meant to change tenses. La Epster