A/N: This chapter has minor goat violence. Also, the Grantaire/Eponine is a
little more than implied in this chapter as well. There is at least one
modernism but I needed it for the situation Grantaire gets himself into
THIS time. I don't own Les Miserables. I own a picture of my dog. Enjoy!
Chapter 5- Capital R vs. Goatman
When we last left our heroes, Grantaire had Eponine locked in a passionate kiss and Gavroche was laughing uncontrollably. Meanwhile, in a pasture belonging to a cousin of Joly's, a young goat was bleating and having the time of his life.
(The mild mannered Grantaire hears a noise! He decides to become Capital R and take his sidekick with him.)
"Come on, Hat Girl," Grantaire said as he unzipped his pants. Eponine only rolled her eyes thinking that Grantaire was going to try something terrible. Instead, he grbbed her wrist and dragged her again.
(Capital R arrives in an empty field. He looks around to see that he has been tricked!)
Eponine looked to see what Grantaire was glaring at. She saw a small, adorable, white billy goat staring up at Grantaire with an amused and innocent face. Eponine rolled her eyes.
"Grantaire, why're you staring at a goat?"
("That is no ordinary goat, Hat Girl, but my evil arch-enemy, Goatman!" Capital R cries as he sees the large, muscular goat; standing upright with a scar on his left eye, wearing a ripped camouflage shirt, a ammunition belt, a gun, and a sword. Capital R prepares to fight.)
Eponine watched Grantaire pose and groaned. This was going to be interesting. The goat stared at him, puzzled.
(Capital R demonstrates his kung-fu mastery!)
Grantaire began to "slap-fight" the air. Eponine rolled her eyes. The goat glared at Grantaire and thought, "He just went from slightly amusing, to really annoying."
(Capital R sees Goatman prepare an energy ball for his next move!)
What happened next happened in slow motion for Grantaire. The goat scooted back and then started to run at him with his head down. His horns were aimed at his easy to find target. If Grantaire had been drunk, he could've reacted. The pain was incredible as the goat rammed him in between the legs before bounding off "laughing". Eponine had a mix of pity, empathy, and humor as she watched Grantaire bounce up and down, holding his crotch, while screaming in an almost castrato voice "Come back here and fight like a man! I'll be back, Goatman!
Eponine decided to help him to the café. The other students were in there except Joly. Grantaire's clothing was on his usual chair. The students had to stifle their laughter as Grantaire mumbled in his high voice and took extremely small steps to avoid any more pain.
"Someone has to dress him!" Eponine shouted. No one volunteered because all of them, even Enjolras, were laughing hysterically. Eponine winced as she realized ho the duty was left to. She slipped on his pants causing him to scream loudly, and then slipped on his shirt. She then ran and got one of his bottles of brandy and gave it to him. Grantaire looked at her strange.
"It's brandy, it'll help with the pain," Eponine said. This worked as Grantaire downed the whole bottle in less than one minute. Eponine went out and tried to get some ice. She came back and gave him a bag and told him to hold it where it hurt. The she left the café and threw up outside the door thinking about what she had just done. She then went off, cursing under her breath.
"The mild-mannered Grantaire sits in his usual chair in the café. He know that someday, someday, he will get that Goatman-ow!" Grantaire squeaked.
Joly came in the door after about an hour. "Sorry I'm late, you guys. I just was at my cousin's and he said that he needed help calming down his goat as it was being pestered by a naked, ugly, long haired man," Joly said while the other students all glared at Grantaire whose only reply was, "What?"
Will Capital R defeat Goatman? Will Grantaire tell Eponine why he kissed her? Does Grantaire know why he kissed her? Will Eponine suffer extreme emotional damage from what she just had to do? Will Joly's goat so something stupid like ram Grantaire again? Will the Author stop being sugar high? Tune in next time for more adventures of Capital R and Hat Girl!
Chapter 5- Capital R vs. Goatman
When we last left our heroes, Grantaire had Eponine locked in a passionate kiss and Gavroche was laughing uncontrollably. Meanwhile, in a pasture belonging to a cousin of Joly's, a young goat was bleating and having the time of his life.
(The mild mannered Grantaire hears a noise! He decides to become Capital R and take his sidekick with him.)
"Come on, Hat Girl," Grantaire said as he unzipped his pants. Eponine only rolled her eyes thinking that Grantaire was going to try something terrible. Instead, he grbbed her wrist and dragged her again.
(Capital R arrives in an empty field. He looks around to see that he has been tricked!)
Eponine looked to see what Grantaire was glaring at. She saw a small, adorable, white billy goat staring up at Grantaire with an amused and innocent face. Eponine rolled her eyes.
"Grantaire, why're you staring at a goat?"
("That is no ordinary goat, Hat Girl, but my evil arch-enemy, Goatman!" Capital R cries as he sees the large, muscular goat; standing upright with a scar on his left eye, wearing a ripped camouflage shirt, a ammunition belt, a gun, and a sword. Capital R prepares to fight.)
Eponine watched Grantaire pose and groaned. This was going to be interesting. The goat stared at him, puzzled.
(Capital R demonstrates his kung-fu mastery!)
Grantaire began to "slap-fight" the air. Eponine rolled her eyes. The goat glared at Grantaire and thought, "He just went from slightly amusing, to really annoying."
(Capital R sees Goatman prepare an energy ball for his next move!)
What happened next happened in slow motion for Grantaire. The goat scooted back and then started to run at him with his head down. His horns were aimed at his easy to find target. If Grantaire had been drunk, he could've reacted. The pain was incredible as the goat rammed him in between the legs before bounding off "laughing". Eponine had a mix of pity, empathy, and humor as she watched Grantaire bounce up and down, holding his crotch, while screaming in an almost castrato voice "Come back here and fight like a man! I'll be back, Goatman!
Eponine decided to help him to the café. The other students were in there except Joly. Grantaire's clothing was on his usual chair. The students had to stifle their laughter as Grantaire mumbled in his high voice and took extremely small steps to avoid any more pain.
"Someone has to dress him!" Eponine shouted. No one volunteered because all of them, even Enjolras, were laughing hysterically. Eponine winced as she realized ho the duty was left to. She slipped on his pants causing him to scream loudly, and then slipped on his shirt. She then ran and got one of his bottles of brandy and gave it to him. Grantaire looked at her strange.
"It's brandy, it'll help with the pain," Eponine said. This worked as Grantaire downed the whole bottle in less than one minute. Eponine went out and tried to get some ice. She came back and gave him a bag and told him to hold it where it hurt. The she left the café and threw up outside the door thinking about what she had just done. She then went off, cursing under her breath.
"The mild-mannered Grantaire sits in his usual chair in the café. He know that someday, someday, he will get that Goatman-ow!" Grantaire squeaked.
Joly came in the door after about an hour. "Sorry I'm late, you guys. I just was at my cousin's and he said that he needed help calming down his goat as it was being pestered by a naked, ugly, long haired man," Joly said while the other students all glared at Grantaire whose only reply was, "What?"
Will Capital R defeat Goatman? Will Grantaire tell Eponine why he kissed her? Does Grantaire know why he kissed her? Will Eponine suffer extreme emotional damage from what she just had to do? Will Joly's goat so something stupid like ram Grantaire again? Will the Author stop being sugar high? Tune in next time for more adventures of Capital R and Hat Girl!