Hicky: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh and apparently I don't know how to be nice... according to my mother and sister.

Trent: Enjoy, since you all probably LOVED the last chapter!

Hicky: Joey bashing and a bit of Téa on the side.

Rules Don't Apply

Yugi stood on one side of a duel stadium and Joey at the other; just having a bit of fun. Around the base stood Tristan, Téa, Ryou, and Yami, who could only be seen by his hikari. In Yugi's hand were Dark Magician, Curse of Dragon, Reborn the Monster, Burning Land and Kuriboh. Yugi moved first. "Dark Magician in attack mode," Yugi announced in his voice that seemed too deep for his body.

Dark appeared on the field, quickly wiping his eyes and took up his fighting stance. But he was unable to stop the tears from running down his cheeks.

All eyes were on the Dark Magician and all eyes widened when they say him wipe his eyes, and noticed the shimmering water droplets falling to the ground. Everyone was shocked except for Yugi who had no idea what was going on.

"What's the matter guys," Yugi asked.

"Umm Yug, I think Dark Magician is, uhh..... crying," Joey answered sounding confused like always.

"He's what?"

"He crying Yugi," Ryou stated in his know-it-all manner.

"Dark Magician?" Yugi asked the over sized monster standing in front of him. He didn't expect an answer.

Dark knew that the Code of the Cards was to hide all emotion because, to today's duellists they were merely pictures on cardboard. But he was to heartbroken and miserable to care about any lousy code. He turned around and looked at the reincarnation of the pharaoh he served so many years ago, eyes watery and face tear stained. All but the great pharaoh were amazed. A card responding to something other than duel commands?

"Oh," Yugi got all sad and even looked chibbi-er seeing Dark's face. "What's the matter Dark Magician?"

Dark opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the pharaoh, "just duel Yugi."

"But," Yugi began to protest.

"Yugi!" Yami said more sternly.

Yugi made a face as if he were thinking about it but Dark had already taken his fighting stance again and had even done the 'bring it on' hand gesture.

"Oh, ya want some of this?" Joey asked. He pulled a few magic equip cards but no monster capable of going up against the Dark Magician. He put a couple of magic cards face down, and a monster face down in defence as well, ending his turn..

deet

Celtic scanned Dark's room again and then finally noticed that there was a duel on. He bolted back to the stairs, bounding down entire flights at a time and continued toward the door. On his way he passed a now clothed Chaos Mage and slammed him into a wall without losing any speed. There were several other monsters standing in the graveyard when Celtic got there.

"What took you so long, you were supposed to be up there already. Here, here, go ahead of me," Gaia the Fierce Knight said while making a place for Celtic ahead of himself.

"But..." before Celtic could finish he was on the field and quickly shut his mouth. He looked around; behind him was a magic card, in front there was a Thousand Dragon and to his left stood Dark, tears running down his cheeks and new ones forming in his eyes.

"Dark Magician, Dark Magic attack!" Yugi ordered, but you could hear concern for his favourite monster in his voice.

Celtic took the opportunity of the blast to speak to Dark without being heard. "Dark," he said.

"Shut up Celtic, just shut up. You should be happy... that magic card over there is Chaos's ritual. Soon he'll be here instead of me," his heart felt like it broke again and he wiped his eyes.

Celtic wanted to say more but he couldn't, there was no more noise to hide behind.

"HA," Joey laughed, "I play my Red Eyes in attack mode!"

"Ahh, but Joey," Téa interrupted, "you're Red Eyes isn't stronger than Yugi's Dark Magician."

'You mean my Dark Magician don't you little mortal giiiirrrrllllll!!!!!!' Celtic thought.

"Wait Téa," Ryou began to use his amazing skill of stating the obvious, "I think Joey has a plan."

"Well yeah I do, so can ya all stop blabbing and let me get on with it?"

Ryou and Téa nodded.

"Okay, like I was gonna say.... Now that my Red Eyes is out I'll use the magic cards I laid face down before... Dragon Treasure gives my dragon 300 extra attack points while Dragon Nails gives him another 700. What do ya think about that?"

"Wow Joey, good move," Yugi complemented his opponent.

"Yeah, I know.... I bet you'd love for me to attack with my juiced up dragon but I bet that face down card is really a trap! So I won't attack with him but I will lay down The Witch of the Dark Forest in defensive mode."

'Moron,' Celtic thought.

It was now Yugi's turn; he drew a card and commanded Celtic Guardian to attack Joey's Witch.

'Yeah, I don't think so Yugi. I got better things to destroy,' Celtic thought as he raised his sword. He turned around and walked up to the edge of the flashing space where Yugi's ritual was. He brought his sword down into the space. It flickered and then stopped. Everyone was even more shocked than they had been over the Dark Magician, even Yami. Monsters don't go around attacking their side of the field.

'Ha ha,' Celtic laughed in his head. 'Try to get you the field now you bastard!'

Dark looked at Celtic somewhat confused, wondering why he had just destroyed the way for Chaos to come to him.

"Ummmm, okay then," Yugi thought for a moment. "Dark Magician... would you attack Joey's Witch please." Yugi put his hands together and looked too chibbi and adorable.

Dark nodded and attacked the witch. "What'd you do that for?" he asked Celtic while the blast could mask they're voices.

"Because I don't want to see that son-of-a-bitch anywhere near me or you, let alone a space or two away."

"But what about..." Dark had to stop. The blast had dissipated.

Joey pulled a card from his deck and thought for a moment. "Heh Yug, I don't know how I got your Guardian to attack that trap card but I'm glad I did."

'Oh my gods, please give me the strength not to start screaming at the blond, bird wing haired moron....... no?... okay then.'

"Well then I might as well attack now. Go Red Eyes, attack the Dark Magician."

"OVER MY DEAD BODY MUTT!" Celtic yelled at the top of his lungs and charged at the dragon. With a single slash of his sword Joey's dragon split in two and disappeared from the field.

"WHAAAAA?" Joey's eye and lip were twitching.

"Yami! YAMI!!!!!" Yugi started yelling.

"Yes Yugi?"

"HE TALKED!!! Hetalkedhetalkedhetalked!" Yugi bounced up and down.

"Ahuh." 'What is happening in the Shadow Realm? Why in the name of Amun did Celtic Guardian do that?'

"ahhhhhhhhhh...... Wait a minute.... Hey Tristan, did he just call me a mutt?"

"Why yes Joey," Ryou answered first. "He did call you a mutt. Isn't that funny... first Seto and now a card."

"Hey! Celtic Guardian, is there something you wanted to say to me?"

Celtic smiled, 'An open invitation? Oh, skrew the code, his guy is asking to be yelled at!'..... He turned and walked up the stadium to Joey's side of the field, all eyes watching. "Why yes, I do have something to say..." he cleared his throat. "You are an absolute moron who can't duel and if anything goes right it's pure freaking luck and you think Yugi had a trap card on the field when anyone who could sense a duel vibe knows it was a magic card," he paused to take a breath, "and you think you're so high and mighty that you can control other people's cards with your non-existent brain power when you can barely handle your own monsters and you have no idea what being a card is like or how we feel or how I just sliced a dragon with a power level 2000 points over my own in half or how I'm talking to you or anything else in the world for that matter, YOU... DUMB... MUTT!!!!!!!"

"Ahhhhh, Yugi, your card's mean."

Celtic started laughing his ass off. Then he started skipping around like a girl, "Oh, I'm mean. I hurt the poor puppy's feelings. I feel so bad! NOT!!!" He started laughing again and went back over to his side of the field. He looked at Dark on his way back... he wasn't crying anymore, he probably would have been if he wasn't shocked into twitching all over with one eye bigger than the other. Celtic started laughing again, he couldn't control it. Gods, everything seemed funny, even the great pharaoh holding his head like he had a migraine, trying to figure out how to fix this. Téa had fainted, that was funny. Ryou seemed worried, that was funny. And Chaos couldn't get to the field.... now that was really funny! All his feelings about Chaos raping him not that long ago were all coming out as insults to the wing haired mutt and laughter. "Ahhhhh," he sighed after about half and hour, "I feel better now.... shall we continue?"

"Celtic Guardian!!!!" Yami yelled sounding even more demanding and powerful than he ever had.

"Yeah, what?" Celtic asked. He didn't have a care in the world.

"Oh, Gods... we'll talk about this later! Go home, you too Dark Magician, this duel is over!" He raised his hand in the air. "MIND WIPE!!!!" he yelled. He then thanked each and every Egyptian god and goddess for his power before taking over Yugi's body to move all of his unconscious friends.

Hicky: still in cage in case crazy readers think they can get a free shot at me for previous chapter XD

OCs: Ain't getting by us... there's 27!

Trent: XD

Hicky and Trent: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

Yams: falls over and twitches I love 'XD'