Chapter 17- Grantaire, a Speedo, and Martian Goats
A/N: I know, this seems disturbing because it is. There are a lot of modernisms in this one. Anyway, the end is near. It will be bittersweet. It will have a time lapse. I do not own Les Miserables or Speedo and by the end of this Chapter, Grantaire will only own two Cairn Terriers... Two FEMALE Cairn Terriers.
Grantaire and Eponine were headed to Callais to have a romantic week ALONE. As they boarded the carriage, Eponine turned to Joly and Enjolras and simply said, "Get the job done."
(The mild mannered Grantaire cannot wait to show his beloved wife what he brought on their trip. He watches her sleep next to him.)
Enjolras and Joly looked at the Terriers. They had to get rid of them somehow. They did not want to kill all of them. They decided to open the door so they would all run out. The terriers did all run out the door. Just when Enjolras thought they were gone, in would come Gavroche with 99 terriers chasing him. Sot this went on until there were only two terriers left. They were Fourch-Morsure and her runt daughter. Enjolras decided that Grantaire could deal with these two.
(The mild Mannered Grantaire and His beloved wife arrive at the inn. Grantaire shows his wife what he brought.)
Grantaire pulled out a Speedo and showed Eponine who read the label.
"It says 'Speedo'... Oh no!"
Eponine watched as Grantaire struggled to put it on. Meanwhile, she looked in her suitcase and found a swimming suit in there. Then the two went out to the sea. Small children screamed and ran away. Mothers held their children protectively. Young girls vomited. And Grantaire didn't have a clue that it was because of him.
"Well, mon cher. I think I look dashing in my new Speedo. What do you think?"
"Oh it's... lovely... Grantaire but maybe you should try on these swim trunks so the other people don't get offen- jealous."
Later that night, Eponine and Grantaire slept side by side.
"Capital R holds his beloved Hat Girl close. He cannot help feeling that something is wrong."
"Grantaire, are you going to narrarate our whole trip?"
Meanwhile, over Paris, a Martian Goat ship was hovering.
"Commander, we have word from three goats in a pasture in Paris. They say it is the perfect place to start our conquest and to take out the one they call 'The Nudist.'"
"Perfect."
Back in Paris, the next day, Gavroche saw a bright light coming down out of the sky. Enjolras saw him staring wide eyed.
"What's wro- Oh no!"
The alien ship landed right outside the Gorbeau House. Enjolras watched in horror as the Martian Goats stepped out of the ship.
Grantaire suddenly could tell something was wrong.
(Capital R realizes his Allies are in trouble. He grabs his beloved Hat Girl. "Come on! Our allies are in trouble!")
Eponine cursed silently as Grantaire dragged her with the speed of a Cheetah who realized that a fat antelope ran past him.
When they finally arrived in Paris, they saw the Martian Goats with Enjolras, Joly, and Gavroche in their cloven hooves. Grantaire turned to Eponine.
"Please stay here, mon cher. I don't want you to get hurt. I love you."
"I love you too." Eponine tearfully replied.
Grantaire stood and faced the Goats.
"Unhand my friends you-"
Grantaire was promptly grabbed by one of the goats. "This must be 'The Nudist!'"
"Are you pleased commander?"
"Yes. These humans will be delicious."
Eponine heard his and saw Grantaire. "No!" She cried out.
(Capital R looks at the creature. He knows it's the end.)
"Hey! You big dumb goat!" Eponine cried out as she ran out of the shadows.
"Hat Girl!" Grantaire cried.
The goat smacked Eponine against a wall as bright beams shot out of its eyes. Eponine screamed. "No!" Grantaire cried as he saw the pile of ashes by the wall with Eponine's singed hat resting on top.
(Capital R sees the remains of his beloved and acts on a deep impulse.)
Grantaire threw back his head and cried.
(Capital R feels the creature's hot breath. He knows the end is near as he performs his final act.)
Suddenly, Grantaire was thrown out of the goat's hooves as it cried out "Augh! It peed on me!"
"Don't get it on me or I'll dissolve too!" The other cried as they both started to melt into the street.
Joly, Enjolras, and Gavroche fell into a pile.
"Wow, Grantaire's incontinence actually helped us." Gavroche thought. They all looked as Grantaire as he picked up Eponine's hat. They watched the tears fall down his face.
"Do you want us to say a few words?" Joly asked.
"Mm-hmm" Grantaire whimpered.
Enjolras picked up some of the ashes. "Eponine was a wonderful young woman who was taken away to soon. She was a wonderful friend, wife, sister, and would-be mother. She-"
"Hey! You Guys!" A voice said. They all turned around to see, peeking around the wall...
"Eponine!" They all cried out.
"Uh, yeah... say, can any of you get me any clothes? Mine kinda got burnt off."
Enjolras ran inside the Gorbeau house and ran into the apartment. He grabbed another ratted outfit that looked a lot like Eponines usual one. He gave it to her and she dressed. They returned to the apartment and Grantaire saw that there were only two terriers left. Unfortunately, Fourche-Morsure was one of them and she decided to greet him.
"OOOOWWWWW!" Grantaire screamed.
Meanwhile, the nanny goat and her two kids cursed and plotted another way to get revenge...
Will Grantaire be defeated by the goats? What will Grantaire name Fourche- Morsure's puppy? Will Grantaire finally be completely toilet trained? Tune in next time for more adventures of Capital R and Hat Girl!
A/N: The end is nearer. The next one will be leading up to it even more.
La Epster
A/N: I know, this seems disturbing because it is. There are a lot of modernisms in this one. Anyway, the end is near. It will be bittersweet. It will have a time lapse. I do not own Les Miserables or Speedo and by the end of this Chapter, Grantaire will only own two Cairn Terriers... Two FEMALE Cairn Terriers.
Grantaire and Eponine were headed to Callais to have a romantic week ALONE. As they boarded the carriage, Eponine turned to Joly and Enjolras and simply said, "Get the job done."
(The mild mannered Grantaire cannot wait to show his beloved wife what he brought on their trip. He watches her sleep next to him.)
Enjolras and Joly looked at the Terriers. They had to get rid of them somehow. They did not want to kill all of them. They decided to open the door so they would all run out. The terriers did all run out the door. Just when Enjolras thought they were gone, in would come Gavroche with 99 terriers chasing him. Sot this went on until there were only two terriers left. They were Fourch-Morsure and her runt daughter. Enjolras decided that Grantaire could deal with these two.
(The mild Mannered Grantaire and His beloved wife arrive at the inn. Grantaire shows his wife what he brought.)
Grantaire pulled out a Speedo and showed Eponine who read the label.
"It says 'Speedo'... Oh no!"
Eponine watched as Grantaire struggled to put it on. Meanwhile, she looked in her suitcase and found a swimming suit in there. Then the two went out to the sea. Small children screamed and ran away. Mothers held their children protectively. Young girls vomited. And Grantaire didn't have a clue that it was because of him.
"Well, mon cher. I think I look dashing in my new Speedo. What do you think?"
"Oh it's... lovely... Grantaire but maybe you should try on these swim trunks so the other people don't get offen- jealous."
Later that night, Eponine and Grantaire slept side by side.
"Capital R holds his beloved Hat Girl close. He cannot help feeling that something is wrong."
"Grantaire, are you going to narrarate our whole trip?"
Meanwhile, over Paris, a Martian Goat ship was hovering.
"Commander, we have word from three goats in a pasture in Paris. They say it is the perfect place to start our conquest and to take out the one they call 'The Nudist.'"
"Perfect."
Back in Paris, the next day, Gavroche saw a bright light coming down out of the sky. Enjolras saw him staring wide eyed.
"What's wro- Oh no!"
The alien ship landed right outside the Gorbeau House. Enjolras watched in horror as the Martian Goats stepped out of the ship.
Grantaire suddenly could tell something was wrong.
(Capital R realizes his Allies are in trouble. He grabs his beloved Hat Girl. "Come on! Our allies are in trouble!")
Eponine cursed silently as Grantaire dragged her with the speed of a Cheetah who realized that a fat antelope ran past him.
When they finally arrived in Paris, they saw the Martian Goats with Enjolras, Joly, and Gavroche in their cloven hooves. Grantaire turned to Eponine.
"Please stay here, mon cher. I don't want you to get hurt. I love you."
"I love you too." Eponine tearfully replied.
Grantaire stood and faced the Goats.
"Unhand my friends you-"
Grantaire was promptly grabbed by one of the goats. "This must be 'The Nudist!'"
"Are you pleased commander?"
"Yes. These humans will be delicious."
Eponine heard his and saw Grantaire. "No!" She cried out.
(Capital R looks at the creature. He knows it's the end.)
"Hey! You big dumb goat!" Eponine cried out as she ran out of the shadows.
"Hat Girl!" Grantaire cried.
The goat smacked Eponine against a wall as bright beams shot out of its eyes. Eponine screamed. "No!" Grantaire cried as he saw the pile of ashes by the wall with Eponine's singed hat resting on top.
(Capital R sees the remains of his beloved and acts on a deep impulse.)
Grantaire threw back his head and cried.
(Capital R feels the creature's hot breath. He knows the end is near as he performs his final act.)
Suddenly, Grantaire was thrown out of the goat's hooves as it cried out "Augh! It peed on me!"
"Don't get it on me or I'll dissolve too!" The other cried as they both started to melt into the street.
Joly, Enjolras, and Gavroche fell into a pile.
"Wow, Grantaire's incontinence actually helped us." Gavroche thought. They all looked as Grantaire as he picked up Eponine's hat. They watched the tears fall down his face.
"Do you want us to say a few words?" Joly asked.
"Mm-hmm" Grantaire whimpered.
Enjolras picked up some of the ashes. "Eponine was a wonderful young woman who was taken away to soon. She was a wonderful friend, wife, sister, and would-be mother. She-"
"Hey! You Guys!" A voice said. They all turned around to see, peeking around the wall...
"Eponine!" They all cried out.
"Uh, yeah... say, can any of you get me any clothes? Mine kinda got burnt off."
Enjolras ran inside the Gorbeau house and ran into the apartment. He grabbed another ratted outfit that looked a lot like Eponines usual one. He gave it to her and she dressed. They returned to the apartment and Grantaire saw that there were only two terriers left. Unfortunately, Fourche-Morsure was one of them and she decided to greet him.
"OOOOWWWWW!" Grantaire screamed.
Meanwhile, the nanny goat and her two kids cursed and plotted another way to get revenge...
Will Grantaire be defeated by the goats? What will Grantaire name Fourche- Morsure's puppy? Will Grantaire finally be completely toilet trained? Tune in next time for more adventures of Capital R and Hat Girl!
A/N: The end is nearer. The next one will be leading up to it even more.
La Epster