It is I, Jjah-Jjah! It lives!!! Muahahahahahaha! It lives! Well, I live
anyway... School is out! Graduation is in a few days; I'll be out of high
school for the long haul... And guess what I'll be devoting my summer to?
My damn fan fiction, of course! Aren't you lovely people out there lucky?
Ed: Umm. No?
JJ: Shut up, bird. And for the record, the delay in updating is all Ed's fault.
Now, let's do the review thang!
roguehobbit: First, thanks for the lovely review! Second, Shader, Somnus, and Isolde are not Marvel characters: they're from my own demented mind. For the record, only three more oc will be in this fic, everyone else will be a Marvel character. And just so you know Somnus and Isolde aren't going to show up a lot... They're just there so that Wanda can expand her power, and to illustrate what a monster Magneto is. Ahahahahaha! This is going to be so much fun! I'm going to use so many obscure characters, no one is going to know what in the heck I'm talking about!!! (tehehe)
Keeper Of The Apocolypse: Gee, thanks... Just had to get everything in there, ya know... Thanks for the review!
goober: (Sniff) Thank you! You must be one of those nice people that everyone keeps telling me about!
Yea, Yea... Here's the disclaimer...
Disclaimer: If I owned X-men, then Wanda and Pietro would have been in the movie, but they're not, are they? Nooooooooooooooooo!!!
00000000000 00000000000 0000000000 0000000000
Chapter Four: Death, destruction, and all that jazz.
"Are you serious?" The disbelief in the sharp shooting mutant's voice was apparent.
"Hello? We only just got out of an asylum, where in the hell would we have learned?"
There was a small silence.
"So, you're serious?"
"YES, Clint! We don't know how to drive, get it into your thick skull!!!"
"Oh, and Shader doesn't know how either, but I don't think he cares!"
"Ye Gods! Are you telling me that I'm the only person who can drive in this house? A house full of functioning and healthy sixteen year olds?!"
"Repeatedly."
"Actually, I'm seventeen. Wanda's the baby of the family!"
"Damn... Well, we're gonna have to fix that..."
And it was with those words that the nightmare began....
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"This," said Clint, "is a car." He gestured towards the dark gray automobile in front of him. "A car is meant to be driven. You get into the car, and you drive it." He looked over at Wanda and Jillian. "Any questions?" Jillian raised her hand. "Yes?"
"How come the kids never let the rabbit have any Trix?"
Wanda cackled. Clint groaned. "Related to driving?"
Silence.
"Ok, then. Who wants to go first?"
Silence.
More silence.
A whooollle lot of silence...
A very large, noticeable amount of silence...
"I take it I have no volunteers?"
Siiiilllllllleeeeeeennnnnccccceeeee...
"I'll take that as a yes."
It was then that Jillian yelped like she had been kicked, (which she had), and leapt into the air in such a way that made Clint think that she was volunteering.
"Jillian! Thank you!"
Jillian turned and glared at an unnaturally innocent looking Wanda. "I'll get you for this my pretty, and your little dog, too!" She hissed. Wanda smiled. Jillian resignedly went off to her fate.
"You get in here. Now buckle up. Start the car. Now, that pedal is for gas, the other one is brake. Here's your emergency brake. Here's you turn signal, up for right, down for left... And... Let's put it in drive."
The car began to slowly inch forward. "Foot on the break." Jillian pressed down on a pedal, and the car screeched forward, and began plowing towards the nearest tree. "The other brake!!!" The car lurched to halt, giving all the occupants whiplash.
"Okaay..." Clint started, "That was.. All right. Now let's... Hey! Jillian, where are you, ack!" While he had been talking, Jillian had unbuckled her seatbelt, rolled down the window, and escaped, sprinting towards the woods at top speed. Clint quickly climbed into the driver's seat and put the steadily moving car into park, before getting out of the car and running after her.
Meanwhile, Wanda was rolling on the ground, laughing manically as her two best friends ran screaming into the forest.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Three hours later :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Wanda sat, calmly sipping on a soda she had gotten for herself and reading a magazine as she watched Clint return, Jillian slung over his shoulder.
"You're learning to drive, whether you like it or not!!!"
"Not! Definitely, not! Jillian no likey big scary car thing!!!! Put me down, spawn of Satan!!!"
Clint tossed the wailing mutant back into the car and raised the window. As he moved back around the car to get in the passenger side, the despairing expression on Jillian's face became a full-blown evil smile.
Clint was reaching for the door handle when he heard a metallic click. He stopped for a fraction of a second, and then tried the door.
It would not open...
"Dammit Jillian, unlock the car!"
Jillian's answer was to press her face up against the glass and make rude expressions.
"God!" He yelled, frustrated. The key was in the ignition; there was no way to get in, till Jillian got out. Which didn't seem like it would be any time soon. Jillian found his secret stash of cheesy puffs under the seat and turned on radio, setting it to some 80's station and turning up the volume.
Here I am!
Gonna rock you like a hurricane!
Here I am!..
Clint sent a disgusted look at Wanda, who was once again laughing her behind off.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Later that night... ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Clint stared through the window out at his car with a haunted expression. Strains of 80's music drifted softly on the wind. Jillian was still out there. As far as he could tell, she had crawled into the backseat and curled up under some old newspapers and fallen asleep.
"You know, she's not coming out tonight..." Wanda smirked, behind him. He turned and fixed her with a bloodshot glare.
"She's molesting my car." He squeaked, then turned around and continued to stare at the vehicle.
Wanda blinked, and wisely left him alone.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
It was around 10:30 the next morning that Jillian had to go to the bathroom. Clenching the car keys in her teeth, she slithered out the carefully opened, then locked passenger door and proceeded to creep towards the house. Quietly, she began to scale the wall underneath the bathroom window. She reached the sill and pulled herself up. She was home free!
At least until she saw who was staring out the bathroom window directly at her.
"I knew you'd have to come here sooner or later.." He grinned insanely.
Jillian laughed nervously and gulped..
"Ummm... Hi?"
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Wanda was shoving a piece of French toast into her mouth when Clint came into the kitchen and said, "Alrighty Beautiful. Driving lessons begin once you're done eating. See you outside!" He jingled the keys and hopped a bit too merrily out the door.
Wanda sat there for a moment.
(Umm. Jillian?)
(.... Yes?)
(Are you ok?)
(...No...)
(Where are you?)
Silence.
(Jillian?! Where are you?)
(It's a bit embarrassing.)
(Where?!)
(Ummmm)
A few minutes later, Wanda was standing in the bathroom, looking down at her friend, an eyebrow raised.
"Oh, shut up..." Jillian snarled.
"I don't even want to know how he tied you to a toilet..."
"With lots and lots of toilet paper... Now, cut me loose!"
Wanda set to work freeing Jillian from her double-quilted restraints, and a few minutes later, the mutant lay on the floor panting in rage.
"We must do nasty things to him, Wanda! Death, destruction, chaos and all sorts of good stuff like that there!!!"
Wanda snickered under her breath. "He tied you to the potty..."
"Wanda!"
Wanda burst out laughing.
Ten minutes later, Jillian watched unenthused, as Wanda continued to roll on the floor, hysterical tears running down her face.
"It's not that funny..."
"Yes it is!!!"
Jillian pounced, and after being beaten with several toilet paper cores, Wanda stopped laughing and spoke.
"Ok..." She wheezed. "We'll get revenge..."
"Oh, yay!" Jillian exclaimed and enfolded her friend in a hug. "Thank you Wanda!"
"No prob. After all, how am I going to get this entire dark vengeance thing down if I don't practice?"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Clint was getting impatient. Wanda hadn't come out yet. He waited for a while longer, and then cranky from loss of sleep; he barreled into the house in search of the wayward mutant.
She was not in the kitchen. Apparently she had finished breakfast... It was the sound of the television going full-blast that lured him into the living room. There, sitting on the couch watching Golden Girls, was Wanda.
"What are you doing in here? Didn't I tell you to come out when you were done eating?"
Wanda didn't look from the TV screen. "Yes."
"Well then, come on out! You have to learn how to drive, you know!"
"I already know how to drive..."
Clint was silent for a moment.
"But you said earlier that you didn't know how!"
"What do you want from me? I'm crazy; I'm entitled to say whatever I want, reality be damned!"
"But you said..."
"You want me to prove it to you?" Wanda turned and looked at him down her nose. Clint raised an eyebrow in answer and uttered the words that sealed his fate.
"Yes I do."
"Ok."
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
The seatbelt buckle clicked as Wanda calmly slid it into place.
"Are you sure about this?" Clint asked hesitantly.
"What's the matter? Afraid of woman drivers?"
"Of course not!"
"Then get in!"
For some reason Clint felt a sense of impending doom... However, he certainly couldn't back down now. Slowly, he climbed into the passenger side. Wanda sat in the driver's seat, key in hand, looking at him neutrally.
"So, show me."
Wanda put the key in the ignition and started the car.
"Buckle up." She deadpanned, then turned around, put the car in reverse, and lurched back, tires screeching. Clint was thrown back and smacked his head against his seat's headrest. As he fumbled with the seatbelt, he looked up for a mere second and saw what looked like Jillian, wearing a black veil and holding a funeral wreath... Then, the car squealed forward, making the seatbelt dig into his skin and sending a dust cloud up behind. In only a few seconds they were down the lengthy driveway and on a winding county road.
"What the..."
"No bad words!" Wanda yelled, interrupting him.
Clint clutched as his armrests as his precious car swerved drunkenly across the road at roughly a hundred twenty mph.
"Wanda!!!!! I thought you said you could drive!!"
"What do you think I'm doing?! Wrestling an anteater?!"
"GAAAAAHH!" Clint screeched as they narrowly missed and oncoming car.
"Road hog!" Wanda leaned out the window and bellowed, "I swear, people just can't drive worth crap these days..."
"Wanda, pull over and let me drive!"
Wanda laughed evilly.
"If only life were that simple..."
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
An hour and a half later, the fun had yet to end.
"Oh God, dammit! Would you stop the frikken car already???!!!!"
Wanda proceeded to turn the radio onto a random heavy metal station. A bridge came into view and Wanda floored it.
"Wanda, please!"
"I see your mouth moving, but I can't hear the words!" Wanda taunted over the music. She passed a lone semi truck and then switched to the wrong lane and kept going.
"Wanda! STOP!"
Wanda slammed on the breaks and the car slid several feet till it hit the guard railing, busted it, and finally stopped with the hind wheels spinning in open air. It took Clint, who had had the wind knocked out of him, several minutes to respond.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT??!!"
"You told me to stop."
Clint stuttered for a while, and then growled, "I didn't mean--. Oh God. There better not be any dents, that's all I gotta say!"
And that's when the whole car started tilting backwards and began to fall off the bridge. Clint understandably freaked out and asked Wanda to do something. Wanda looked over her shoulder and surveyed the predicament with a look of detached amusement. Then, with a girlish scream from Clint, and no reaction whatsoever from Wanda, the car fell off the bridge.
"Gaaahhh! What did I ever do to you?!" Clint bellowed, closed his eyes, and scrunched down in his seat. Wanda looked over at him, smiled, and with a flex of her fingers, a shimmering blue light engulfed the car... The car paused in its fall, and then smoothly began flying back towards the house.
Several minutes later, Clint was still scrunched down in the seat, and becoming rather puzzled as to why they hadn't all died in a fiery explosion yet. Exasperated, Wanda goosed him in the ribs. He jumped.
"Hey, Clint. You know that scene in ET with the flying bicycles?"
At first there was no response, then Clint poked his head up and said, "Yes?" He looked at the scenery peacefully moving by with wonder for a moment before Wanda responded.
"This ain't it..."
Poor Clint didn't even have enough time to draw in breath for a scream before the car flipped upside down and started into a nosedive...
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
About an hour later, Jillian stopped her game of Frisbee with Clint's funeral wreath as Clint's car touched down in the driveway, sending up a dust cloud. Wanda brought the car to a halt and parked. Clint was nowhere to be seen. Jillian rushed over.
"Where's you passenger? Did he bail?"
Wanda smirked, reached over, and shoved the passenger side door open. A boneless mass that looked suspiciously like Clint flopped out onto the ground.
"He couldn't take it." She mused smugly.
"What do we do with him?" Asked Jillian. They both stood over him and Wanda sighed.
"We could always bury him I suppose."
"Yeah, but I don't really feel like digging a hole right now."
"Who said we have to dig a hole? We could just build a funeral pyre."
"Do we have any matches?"
"We don't need any, I can light things on fire you know."
"You can also make things explode..."
"Well... Isn't there some kind of burial practice where you put them up in a tree?"
"You want to lug his sorry ass up a tree?"
"Not really."
"Besides, what if you walked under the tree one day? All sort of nasty stuff might ooze down and land on your head!"
"Ok, ok! Why don't we just put him in a boat and send him down the river? Vikings used to that, I think..."
"Dang Wanda, you sure know a lot about disposing of bodies!"
"What can I say? It's a gift..."
All the while during their conversation, the two girls failed to notice the figure at their feet slowly but surely dragging himself away. When he finally reached the house, they were going into how they could embalm him and wrap him in toilet paper with aloe.
The door to the kitchen slammed open and Shader, who was getting himself something out of the refrigerator, jumped up about a foot. He heard a strange squeaking sound. He looked and saw Clint, dragging himself across the tile floor.
"If you value your life, don't say a word..." Clint gasped. He dragged himself under the kitchen table and stayed there.
Shader stared at the table for a few minutes and then shrugged and left. People just got more confusing everyday.
0000000000000 0000000000 0000000 0000 00
AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I finished! Read and Review!
Ed: Umm. No?
JJ: Shut up, bird. And for the record, the delay in updating is all Ed's fault.
Now, let's do the review thang!
roguehobbit: First, thanks for the lovely review! Second, Shader, Somnus, and Isolde are not Marvel characters: they're from my own demented mind. For the record, only three more oc will be in this fic, everyone else will be a Marvel character. And just so you know Somnus and Isolde aren't going to show up a lot... They're just there so that Wanda can expand her power, and to illustrate what a monster Magneto is. Ahahahahaha! This is going to be so much fun! I'm going to use so many obscure characters, no one is going to know what in the heck I'm talking about!!! (tehehe)
Keeper Of The Apocolypse: Gee, thanks... Just had to get everything in there, ya know... Thanks for the review!
goober: (Sniff) Thank you! You must be one of those nice people that everyone keeps telling me about!
Yea, Yea... Here's the disclaimer...
Disclaimer: If I owned X-men, then Wanda and Pietro would have been in the movie, but they're not, are they? Nooooooooooooooooo!!!
00000000000 00000000000 0000000000 0000000000
Chapter Four: Death, destruction, and all that jazz.
"Are you serious?" The disbelief in the sharp shooting mutant's voice was apparent.
"Hello? We only just got out of an asylum, where in the hell would we have learned?"
There was a small silence.
"So, you're serious?"
"YES, Clint! We don't know how to drive, get it into your thick skull!!!"
"Oh, and Shader doesn't know how either, but I don't think he cares!"
"Ye Gods! Are you telling me that I'm the only person who can drive in this house? A house full of functioning and healthy sixteen year olds?!"
"Repeatedly."
"Actually, I'm seventeen. Wanda's the baby of the family!"
"Damn... Well, we're gonna have to fix that..."
And it was with those words that the nightmare began....
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"This," said Clint, "is a car." He gestured towards the dark gray automobile in front of him. "A car is meant to be driven. You get into the car, and you drive it." He looked over at Wanda and Jillian. "Any questions?" Jillian raised her hand. "Yes?"
"How come the kids never let the rabbit have any Trix?"
Wanda cackled. Clint groaned. "Related to driving?"
Silence.
"Ok, then. Who wants to go first?"
Silence.
More silence.
A whooollle lot of silence...
A very large, noticeable amount of silence...
"I take it I have no volunteers?"
Siiiilllllllleeeeeeennnnnccccceeeee...
"I'll take that as a yes."
It was then that Jillian yelped like she had been kicked, (which she had), and leapt into the air in such a way that made Clint think that she was volunteering.
"Jillian! Thank you!"
Jillian turned and glared at an unnaturally innocent looking Wanda. "I'll get you for this my pretty, and your little dog, too!" She hissed. Wanda smiled. Jillian resignedly went off to her fate.
"You get in here. Now buckle up. Start the car. Now, that pedal is for gas, the other one is brake. Here's your emergency brake. Here's you turn signal, up for right, down for left... And... Let's put it in drive."
The car began to slowly inch forward. "Foot on the break." Jillian pressed down on a pedal, and the car screeched forward, and began plowing towards the nearest tree. "The other brake!!!" The car lurched to halt, giving all the occupants whiplash.
"Okaay..." Clint started, "That was.. All right. Now let's... Hey! Jillian, where are you, ack!" While he had been talking, Jillian had unbuckled her seatbelt, rolled down the window, and escaped, sprinting towards the woods at top speed. Clint quickly climbed into the driver's seat and put the steadily moving car into park, before getting out of the car and running after her.
Meanwhile, Wanda was rolling on the ground, laughing manically as her two best friends ran screaming into the forest.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Three hours later :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Wanda sat, calmly sipping on a soda she had gotten for herself and reading a magazine as she watched Clint return, Jillian slung over his shoulder.
"You're learning to drive, whether you like it or not!!!"
"Not! Definitely, not! Jillian no likey big scary car thing!!!! Put me down, spawn of Satan!!!"
Clint tossed the wailing mutant back into the car and raised the window. As he moved back around the car to get in the passenger side, the despairing expression on Jillian's face became a full-blown evil smile.
Clint was reaching for the door handle when he heard a metallic click. He stopped for a fraction of a second, and then tried the door.
It would not open...
"Dammit Jillian, unlock the car!"
Jillian's answer was to press her face up against the glass and make rude expressions.
"God!" He yelled, frustrated. The key was in the ignition; there was no way to get in, till Jillian got out. Which didn't seem like it would be any time soon. Jillian found his secret stash of cheesy puffs under the seat and turned on radio, setting it to some 80's station and turning up the volume.
Here I am!
Gonna rock you like a hurricane!
Here I am!..
Clint sent a disgusted look at Wanda, who was once again laughing her behind off.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Later that night... ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Clint stared through the window out at his car with a haunted expression. Strains of 80's music drifted softly on the wind. Jillian was still out there. As far as he could tell, she had crawled into the backseat and curled up under some old newspapers and fallen asleep.
"You know, she's not coming out tonight..." Wanda smirked, behind him. He turned and fixed her with a bloodshot glare.
"She's molesting my car." He squeaked, then turned around and continued to stare at the vehicle.
Wanda blinked, and wisely left him alone.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
It was around 10:30 the next morning that Jillian had to go to the bathroom. Clenching the car keys in her teeth, she slithered out the carefully opened, then locked passenger door and proceeded to creep towards the house. Quietly, she began to scale the wall underneath the bathroom window. She reached the sill and pulled herself up. She was home free!
At least until she saw who was staring out the bathroom window directly at her.
"I knew you'd have to come here sooner or later.." He grinned insanely.
Jillian laughed nervously and gulped..
"Ummm... Hi?"
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Wanda was shoving a piece of French toast into her mouth when Clint came into the kitchen and said, "Alrighty Beautiful. Driving lessons begin once you're done eating. See you outside!" He jingled the keys and hopped a bit too merrily out the door.
Wanda sat there for a moment.
(Umm. Jillian?)
(.... Yes?)
(Are you ok?)
(...No...)
(Where are you?)
Silence.
(Jillian?! Where are you?)
(It's a bit embarrassing.)
(Where?!)
(Ummmm)
A few minutes later, Wanda was standing in the bathroom, looking down at her friend, an eyebrow raised.
"Oh, shut up..." Jillian snarled.
"I don't even want to know how he tied you to a toilet..."
"With lots and lots of toilet paper... Now, cut me loose!"
Wanda set to work freeing Jillian from her double-quilted restraints, and a few minutes later, the mutant lay on the floor panting in rage.
"We must do nasty things to him, Wanda! Death, destruction, chaos and all sorts of good stuff like that there!!!"
Wanda snickered under her breath. "He tied you to the potty..."
"Wanda!"
Wanda burst out laughing.
Ten minutes later, Jillian watched unenthused, as Wanda continued to roll on the floor, hysterical tears running down her face.
"It's not that funny..."
"Yes it is!!!"
Jillian pounced, and after being beaten with several toilet paper cores, Wanda stopped laughing and spoke.
"Ok..." She wheezed. "We'll get revenge..."
"Oh, yay!" Jillian exclaimed and enfolded her friend in a hug. "Thank you Wanda!"
"No prob. After all, how am I going to get this entire dark vengeance thing down if I don't practice?"
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Clint was getting impatient. Wanda hadn't come out yet. He waited for a while longer, and then cranky from loss of sleep; he barreled into the house in search of the wayward mutant.
She was not in the kitchen. Apparently she had finished breakfast... It was the sound of the television going full-blast that lured him into the living room. There, sitting on the couch watching Golden Girls, was Wanda.
"What are you doing in here? Didn't I tell you to come out when you were done eating?"
Wanda didn't look from the TV screen. "Yes."
"Well then, come on out! You have to learn how to drive, you know!"
"I already know how to drive..."
Clint was silent for a moment.
"But you said earlier that you didn't know how!"
"What do you want from me? I'm crazy; I'm entitled to say whatever I want, reality be damned!"
"But you said..."
"You want me to prove it to you?" Wanda turned and looked at him down her nose. Clint raised an eyebrow in answer and uttered the words that sealed his fate.
"Yes I do."
"Ok."
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
The seatbelt buckle clicked as Wanda calmly slid it into place.
"Are you sure about this?" Clint asked hesitantly.
"What's the matter? Afraid of woman drivers?"
"Of course not!"
"Then get in!"
For some reason Clint felt a sense of impending doom... However, he certainly couldn't back down now. Slowly, he climbed into the passenger side. Wanda sat in the driver's seat, key in hand, looking at him neutrally.
"So, show me."
Wanda put the key in the ignition and started the car.
"Buckle up." She deadpanned, then turned around, put the car in reverse, and lurched back, tires screeching. Clint was thrown back and smacked his head against his seat's headrest. As he fumbled with the seatbelt, he looked up for a mere second and saw what looked like Jillian, wearing a black veil and holding a funeral wreath... Then, the car squealed forward, making the seatbelt dig into his skin and sending a dust cloud up behind. In only a few seconds they were down the lengthy driveway and on a winding county road.
"What the..."
"No bad words!" Wanda yelled, interrupting him.
Clint clutched as his armrests as his precious car swerved drunkenly across the road at roughly a hundred twenty mph.
"Wanda!!!!! I thought you said you could drive!!"
"What do you think I'm doing?! Wrestling an anteater?!"
"GAAAAAHH!" Clint screeched as they narrowly missed and oncoming car.
"Road hog!" Wanda leaned out the window and bellowed, "I swear, people just can't drive worth crap these days..."
"Wanda, pull over and let me drive!"
Wanda laughed evilly.
"If only life were that simple..."
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
An hour and a half later, the fun had yet to end.
"Oh God, dammit! Would you stop the frikken car already???!!!!"
Wanda proceeded to turn the radio onto a random heavy metal station. A bridge came into view and Wanda floored it.
"Wanda, please!"
"I see your mouth moving, but I can't hear the words!" Wanda taunted over the music. She passed a lone semi truck and then switched to the wrong lane and kept going.
"Wanda! STOP!"
Wanda slammed on the breaks and the car slid several feet till it hit the guard railing, busted it, and finally stopped with the hind wheels spinning in open air. It took Clint, who had had the wind knocked out of him, several minutes to respond.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT??!!"
"You told me to stop."
Clint stuttered for a while, and then growled, "I didn't mean--. Oh God. There better not be any dents, that's all I gotta say!"
And that's when the whole car started tilting backwards and began to fall off the bridge. Clint understandably freaked out and asked Wanda to do something. Wanda looked over her shoulder and surveyed the predicament with a look of detached amusement. Then, with a girlish scream from Clint, and no reaction whatsoever from Wanda, the car fell off the bridge.
"Gaaahhh! What did I ever do to you?!" Clint bellowed, closed his eyes, and scrunched down in his seat. Wanda looked over at him, smiled, and with a flex of her fingers, a shimmering blue light engulfed the car... The car paused in its fall, and then smoothly began flying back towards the house.
Several minutes later, Clint was still scrunched down in the seat, and becoming rather puzzled as to why they hadn't all died in a fiery explosion yet. Exasperated, Wanda goosed him in the ribs. He jumped.
"Hey, Clint. You know that scene in ET with the flying bicycles?"
At first there was no response, then Clint poked his head up and said, "Yes?" He looked at the scenery peacefully moving by with wonder for a moment before Wanda responded.
"This ain't it..."
Poor Clint didn't even have enough time to draw in breath for a scream before the car flipped upside down and started into a nosedive...
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
About an hour later, Jillian stopped her game of Frisbee with Clint's funeral wreath as Clint's car touched down in the driveway, sending up a dust cloud. Wanda brought the car to a halt and parked. Clint was nowhere to be seen. Jillian rushed over.
"Where's you passenger? Did he bail?"
Wanda smirked, reached over, and shoved the passenger side door open. A boneless mass that looked suspiciously like Clint flopped out onto the ground.
"He couldn't take it." She mused smugly.
"What do we do with him?" Asked Jillian. They both stood over him and Wanda sighed.
"We could always bury him I suppose."
"Yeah, but I don't really feel like digging a hole right now."
"Who said we have to dig a hole? We could just build a funeral pyre."
"Do we have any matches?"
"We don't need any, I can light things on fire you know."
"You can also make things explode..."
"Well... Isn't there some kind of burial practice where you put them up in a tree?"
"You want to lug his sorry ass up a tree?"
"Not really."
"Besides, what if you walked under the tree one day? All sort of nasty stuff might ooze down and land on your head!"
"Ok, ok! Why don't we just put him in a boat and send him down the river? Vikings used to that, I think..."
"Dang Wanda, you sure know a lot about disposing of bodies!"
"What can I say? It's a gift..."
All the while during their conversation, the two girls failed to notice the figure at their feet slowly but surely dragging himself away. When he finally reached the house, they were going into how they could embalm him and wrap him in toilet paper with aloe.
The door to the kitchen slammed open and Shader, who was getting himself something out of the refrigerator, jumped up about a foot. He heard a strange squeaking sound. He looked and saw Clint, dragging himself across the tile floor.
"If you value your life, don't say a word..." Clint gasped. He dragged himself under the kitchen table and stayed there.
Shader stared at the table for a few minutes and then shrugged and left. People just got more confusing everyday.
0000000000000 0000000000 0000000 0000 00
AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I finished! Read and Review!