Friend and Family Problems
By: Sailor Element
First of all I do not own Sailor moon or the Song 'Family Portrait' it belongs to Pink. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I opened my eyes as slowly as I could when I woke up that morning. It was Wednesday. Today was the day. They would be sorry any of them ever even looked at me the wrong way. I had already picked out a couple of people in particular.
Mama please stop crying'
I can't stand the sound
I stood in front of my mirror, trying to figure out what had happened to me. The bags under my eyes told that I hadn't slept soundly in weeks. But what did it matter in the end, anyway? I was ugly, too. It certainly couldn't help my situation.
Your pain is painful and it's
Tearing me down
I picked up the gun. It wasn't the first time. It was still a little heavier than I was used to, though. I took out the bullets and practiced firing a couple of times. I still needed two hands. Not good. I reloaded it and stuck a couple more rounds into my pocket.
I hear glasses breaking
As I sit up in my bed
Walking to school was different than usual, somehow. Maybe because the gun was weighing down my jacket so that I was sort of hunched over. Maybe because it would be the last time I would ever walk to school. Funny enough, less trash and foul language was thrown at me than usual. Strange. Mildly pleasant, as well.
I told God you didn't mean
Those nasty things you said
I'd wait until the period after lunch. I wanted to savor as much of my last day as I could. We lived in a suburb of Tokyo, so although school shootings didn't ring pretty close to home, our school hadn't taken any precautions against it. So I got into school without a single problem.
You fight about money
About me and my brother
After stuffing most of my books into my locker, I went to my class. It was my last day. The last time that they would mock me. I'd show them that I was better than them. I was going to knock them dead. Quite literally.
And this I come home to
This is my shelter
Today, I actually had the gall to yell out at the beginning of class, when they were pointing and laughing. I fingered the holster, but I couldn't possibly start out this early.
"Shut up! You guys will regret all of your heart-rending, horrible, awful words!"
They just laughed. It sounded like more than usual. But maybe it was just because I was so ready to kill them all right here and now. When they didn't stop, I gripped my fingers against the handle. I couldn't see because my eyes where bleary, and my hearing was becoming fuzzy. A girl next to me, I think it might have been Lita. Rolled her eyes and said something impossibly nice and stuck up for me. I didn't want anyone helping me they where supposed to all die. So I stood up and slapped her across the face. They all shut up, almost instantly. She started crying. I laughed.
It ain't easy, growing' up in WW3
Never knowing' what love could be
I was sent to the principle's office, it was quite a surprise. I wouldn't listen to the dean, to my mother when she showed up. I just stared at the wall, occasionally answering their questions. Yes, no, yes, no, maybe, I don't know. Finally, they sent me back to class, and mom went home. I was numb.
You'll see, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family
So lunch came. I didn't realize how long I had been yelled at. It was almost time.
Lita came up to my lonely spot under a dead tree. Fitting, don't you think? A dark bruise crossed her usually perfectly formed cheek. She thought she could talk to me maybe try and reason with me, after all I was the 'Smart' one. Of course she couldn't do it herself. I saw one of the girl's and it made my blood boil! She had brought the worst person with her, Serena the bane of my pain. Along with Snobby Serena was her clone Mina I swear they have the same mom. Lita looked from one to the other, and they started to walk forward.
Can we work it out
Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better
For some reason Serena thought that I had done something that deserved to be punished because she reached out and grabbed my shoulder, slowly pulling her fist back. Simultaneously, I pulled out my father's gun and held it in front of her face. She stopped.
Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out
Can we be a family
I made the fatal mistake. Everything would have been so simple, if only I hadn't looked into Lita's eyes.
I promise I'll be better
Daddy please don't leave
I cocked the gun, staring into Serena's eyes. Glancing for a moment behind her, I noticed that Mina had run off, but Lita stayed, and she stared at me. I looked into her eyes, too.
Daddy please stop yelling
I can't stand the sound
Make mama stop crying'
'Cause I need you around
Her eyes had fear in them. Something I understood well enough. Tears welled up in my own eyes. I couldn't stand to look at them, with their honest terror that came with the realization that they might not wake up to see tomorrow. She wanted to live, more than anything else in this world.
My mama she loves you
No matter what she says is true
I know that she hurts you
But remember I love you too!
But I couldn't turn away. The honest fear the both of them showed me made me lower the gun. Slowly, slowly. I noticed the Serena's grip slip from my shoulder. She slowly stepped away. I looked away for a second.
I ran away today, ran from the noise
Ran away (ran away)
Don't wanna go back to that place
But don't have no choice, no way
I moved the gun again, pressing the tip against my chest. Slowly, softly, Lita spoke.
"Please. Good God, please, don't... They didn't mean it. You have so much more to live for. God, don't kill yourself, please..."
Again, I lowered the gun, and disarmed it. She had tricked me out of it, with her honesty, and the fear and love in her eyes.
It ain't easy, growing' up in WW3
Never knowing' what love could be
But I've seen, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family
Before I even realized what was happening, there were arms grabbing me from behind. Lita in front of me, with tears in her eyes, swiped the gun out of my trembling hands, knocking it onto the ground and leaving me defenseless.
In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it
Comes naturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays I don't want two addresses
I don't want a stepbrother anyway
And I don't want my mom to have to change her last name!
Mama'll be nicer
I'll be so much better
I'll tell my brother
They handcuffed me, grabbed me, dragged me kicking and screaming to the police car. They shoved me in the back seat, but I kicked and screamed and gave them absolute hell in restraining me. I didn't know what else to do. I had failed. I had failed my mission, not to mention myself. Again. But what else was new? Everything was the same as it had always been, one misery, one failure, a bad joke, one after another.
I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better
I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night
After a week in juvie, I went home. Six months later, I went to court. My Mother got fined an innumerable amount of money, I got stuck in juvie for another six months, and I was expelled form the school district. For a long time I didn't do anything, but eventually I got on track and found a tutor that could home-school me. Two years later, I went back to school, to see if I could catch up. The same school. I guess they forgave me. No one looked at me, that whole day. People purposely walked around me. I don't think anyone walked within ten feet of me, and that's a feat, considering how tiny the halls are at that damn school.
Daddy don't leave...
I had figured it out though, finally. My demons were of my own making. No one made me miserable except for myself. I had taken something simple and blown it entirely out of proportion. But now, I was paying the consequences. I was entirely alienated from everyone I used to know.
I shouldn't have let myself fall so deeply into the trap of depression, when I had nothing to truly be sad about. They laughed at me because I had alienated myself. I had made myself into the weirdo, the freak that they knew me as. Now that I wanted a chance, I knew they wouldn't give it to me. I had ruined a lot of their lives. Then, something unexpected happened, after my last class.
"Hey, if you ever wanna talk sometime, I'm around. I mean, if you need it. I don't want to impose. But maybe we could work things out, okay? I don't want any bad feelings. Things happened, but we don't have to dwell on it, right?"
It was the girl I had slapped. She was going out of her way to talk to me when no one else would. The one who's Best friend I was ready to kill, the one who would have died if I hadn't had seen how much they still wanted me to live. It was amazing how things work out sometimes.
Forgive and forget, as they say, I guess. But I'm one of the lucky ones.
Daddy don't leave.......
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This story is set to my Sucky life, I know I have problems and I am getting better.. Until I am 'Cured' I will be using Ami-Chan as my feelings if you will. Not all of this Is entirely fictional, mind you I have taken knifes and stuff to school in mind to hurt people but have never gone thru with it. :)
I hope you enjoyed. Please comment. ~*~Element~*~
By: Sailor Element
First of all I do not own Sailor moon or the Song 'Family Portrait' it belongs to Pink. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I opened my eyes as slowly as I could when I woke up that morning. It was Wednesday. Today was the day. They would be sorry any of them ever even looked at me the wrong way. I had already picked out a couple of people in particular.
Mama please stop crying'
I can't stand the sound
I stood in front of my mirror, trying to figure out what had happened to me. The bags under my eyes told that I hadn't slept soundly in weeks. But what did it matter in the end, anyway? I was ugly, too. It certainly couldn't help my situation.
Your pain is painful and it's
Tearing me down
I picked up the gun. It wasn't the first time. It was still a little heavier than I was used to, though. I took out the bullets and practiced firing a couple of times. I still needed two hands. Not good. I reloaded it and stuck a couple more rounds into my pocket.
I hear glasses breaking
As I sit up in my bed
Walking to school was different than usual, somehow. Maybe because the gun was weighing down my jacket so that I was sort of hunched over. Maybe because it would be the last time I would ever walk to school. Funny enough, less trash and foul language was thrown at me than usual. Strange. Mildly pleasant, as well.
I told God you didn't mean
Those nasty things you said
I'd wait until the period after lunch. I wanted to savor as much of my last day as I could. We lived in a suburb of Tokyo, so although school shootings didn't ring pretty close to home, our school hadn't taken any precautions against it. So I got into school without a single problem.
You fight about money
About me and my brother
After stuffing most of my books into my locker, I went to my class. It was my last day. The last time that they would mock me. I'd show them that I was better than them. I was going to knock them dead. Quite literally.
And this I come home to
This is my shelter
Today, I actually had the gall to yell out at the beginning of class, when they were pointing and laughing. I fingered the holster, but I couldn't possibly start out this early.
"Shut up! You guys will regret all of your heart-rending, horrible, awful words!"
They just laughed. It sounded like more than usual. But maybe it was just because I was so ready to kill them all right here and now. When they didn't stop, I gripped my fingers against the handle. I couldn't see because my eyes where bleary, and my hearing was becoming fuzzy. A girl next to me, I think it might have been Lita. Rolled her eyes and said something impossibly nice and stuck up for me. I didn't want anyone helping me they where supposed to all die. So I stood up and slapped her across the face. They all shut up, almost instantly. She started crying. I laughed.
It ain't easy, growing' up in WW3
Never knowing' what love could be
I was sent to the principle's office, it was quite a surprise. I wouldn't listen to the dean, to my mother when she showed up. I just stared at the wall, occasionally answering their questions. Yes, no, yes, no, maybe, I don't know. Finally, they sent me back to class, and mom went home. I was numb.
You'll see, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family
So lunch came. I didn't realize how long I had been yelled at. It was almost time.
Lita came up to my lonely spot under a dead tree. Fitting, don't you think? A dark bruise crossed her usually perfectly formed cheek. She thought she could talk to me maybe try and reason with me, after all I was the 'Smart' one. Of course she couldn't do it herself. I saw one of the girl's and it made my blood boil! She had brought the worst person with her, Serena the bane of my pain. Along with Snobby Serena was her clone Mina I swear they have the same mom. Lita looked from one to the other, and they started to walk forward.
Can we work it out
Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better
For some reason Serena thought that I had done something that deserved to be punished because she reached out and grabbed my shoulder, slowly pulling her fist back. Simultaneously, I pulled out my father's gun and held it in front of her face. She stopped.
Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out
Can we be a family
I made the fatal mistake. Everything would have been so simple, if only I hadn't looked into Lita's eyes.
I promise I'll be better
Daddy please don't leave
I cocked the gun, staring into Serena's eyes. Glancing for a moment behind her, I noticed that Mina had run off, but Lita stayed, and she stared at me. I looked into her eyes, too.
Daddy please stop yelling
I can't stand the sound
Make mama stop crying'
'Cause I need you around
Her eyes had fear in them. Something I understood well enough. Tears welled up in my own eyes. I couldn't stand to look at them, with their honest terror that came with the realization that they might not wake up to see tomorrow. She wanted to live, more than anything else in this world.
My mama she loves you
No matter what she says is true
I know that she hurts you
But remember I love you too!
But I couldn't turn away. The honest fear the both of them showed me made me lower the gun. Slowly, slowly. I noticed the Serena's grip slip from my shoulder. She slowly stepped away. I looked away for a second.
I ran away today, ran from the noise
Ran away (ran away)
Don't wanna go back to that place
But don't have no choice, no way
I moved the gun again, pressing the tip against my chest. Slowly, softly, Lita spoke.
"Please. Good God, please, don't... They didn't mean it. You have so much more to live for. God, don't kill yourself, please..."
Again, I lowered the gun, and disarmed it. She had tricked me out of it, with her honesty, and the fear and love in her eyes.
It ain't easy, growing' up in WW3
Never knowing' what love could be
But I've seen, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family
Before I even realized what was happening, there were arms grabbing me from behind. Lita in front of me, with tears in her eyes, swiped the gun out of my trembling hands, knocking it onto the ground and leaving me defenseless.
In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it
Comes naturally
I don't wanna have to split the holidays I don't want two addresses
I don't want a stepbrother anyway
And I don't want my mom to have to change her last name!
Mama'll be nicer
I'll be so much better
I'll tell my brother
They handcuffed me, grabbed me, dragged me kicking and screaming to the police car. They shoved me in the back seat, but I kicked and screamed and gave them absolute hell in restraining me. I didn't know what else to do. I had failed. I had failed my mission, not to mention myself. Again. But what else was new? Everything was the same as it had always been, one misery, one failure, a bad joke, one after another.
I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better
I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night
After a week in juvie, I went home. Six months later, I went to court. My Mother got fined an innumerable amount of money, I got stuck in juvie for another six months, and I was expelled form the school district. For a long time I didn't do anything, but eventually I got on track and found a tutor that could home-school me. Two years later, I went back to school, to see if I could catch up. The same school. I guess they forgave me. No one looked at me, that whole day. People purposely walked around me. I don't think anyone walked within ten feet of me, and that's a feat, considering how tiny the halls are at that damn school.
Daddy don't leave...
I had figured it out though, finally. My demons were of my own making. No one made me miserable except for myself. I had taken something simple and blown it entirely out of proportion. But now, I was paying the consequences. I was entirely alienated from everyone I used to know.
I shouldn't have let myself fall so deeply into the trap of depression, when I had nothing to truly be sad about. They laughed at me because I had alienated myself. I had made myself into the weirdo, the freak that they knew me as. Now that I wanted a chance, I knew they wouldn't give it to me. I had ruined a lot of their lives. Then, something unexpected happened, after my last class.
"Hey, if you ever wanna talk sometime, I'm around. I mean, if you need it. I don't want to impose. But maybe we could work things out, okay? I don't want any bad feelings. Things happened, but we don't have to dwell on it, right?"
It was the girl I had slapped. She was going out of her way to talk to me when no one else would. The one who's Best friend I was ready to kill, the one who would have died if I hadn't had seen how much they still wanted me to live. It was amazing how things work out sometimes.
Forgive and forget, as they say, I guess. But I'm one of the lucky ones.
Daddy don't leave.......
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This story is set to my Sucky life, I know I have problems and I am getting better.. Until I am 'Cured' I will be using Ami-Chan as my feelings if you will. Not all of this Is entirely fictional, mind you I have taken knifes and stuff to school in mind to hurt people but have never gone thru with it. :)
I hope you enjoyed. Please comment. ~*~Element~*~