A/N ...just FYI, I think I had a panic attack today...I'm just sitting there,
minding my own business in Chemistry class when my hands start getting
sweaty, my feet get an uncontrollable desire to start tapping like mad, I
get this crazy anxious feeling in my stomach, like something was about to
happen, only I didn't know what! Strangest thing I ever experienced. Just
out of the blue like that. Anywho, just thought I'd give you a look inside
the life of the author. Exciting things like that happen to me ALL the
time...ch oh please...Well, enjoy the chapter.
PS. Thanks to Leggy/Orlando's Queen for the kick-ass review
Chapter 13 – The Perfect Escape?
While the lovers were basking, Katarina was in despair, yet again. She had holed up in her own house, sitting on her bed, hugging her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth like a crazy person since she left Lianna's house. She wept quietly, but every now and then the magnitude of her situation would get the best of her, and she'd cry out, "Valar! Oh Valar!" and sob heavily, burying her face in her hands. She knew she could be thrown in jail for the rest of her life or even executed for attempted murder of Mirkwood royalty.
Her position seemed so absolutely helpless that she felt death would be more comforting. The notion was simply melodramatics at first. But the more she thought about it, the better it sounded. It seemed like the perfect escape from her escapeless situation.
Her windows were covered, and no candles had been lit. It was dark in the room, and it matched her mood. If possible, it made her feel even bleaker. It made the idea of suicide more tempting. She thought about it until finally, she came to a decision. She stopped rocking and got off her bed. She stood in front of the full length mirror that hung on her wall. Seeing her reflection made her sick. She didn't want to live in her body anymore, it only brought pain to herself and the ones she loved. Calmly, she picked up a silver candleholder that was nearby and drove it with incredible force into the mirror.
Several long cracks stemmed immediately from the point of impact. Small chunks fell with a clatter to the floor. She knelt beside the mess and picked out what looked like the sharpest piece. She eyed it for a moment, then stood up to sit on her bed again.
Holding the slice of mirror in her right hand, she laid her left arm on her knee, the soft flesh of the inside of her wrist showing upward. She looked at the weapon. Even in the darkness of the room, she saw her face in the shard. She searched her own blue eyes with accusation. Suddenly full of rage, she held the point of the shard against her wrist and squeezed her eyes shut, gritting her teeth in readiness for the pain.
"NO! Katarina, stop!" A voice called from the door. Katarina jumped up and looked for the voice. The Elf drew closer, and Katarina saw that it was Lianna. "Lianna?! What are you doing here?" Katarina shouted in dismay and alarm. "Didn't you hear me knocking? I was afraid you'd already done it." "How did you know..." Katarina trailed off as she dropped her eyes to the shard of mirror she still held in her hand. "Well, I asked myself what I'd do if I were in your situation. And it didn't look good. So I thought I'd come check on you. And good thing I did, looks like."
"Good thing?" Katarina shouted. "GOOD THING?" She shrieked a second time. "What am I good for now? And why would you care?" Kat yelled. Lianna held her hands up defensively. "Our actions are not all that define who we are. And I would care, because I am not as cold as you may think I am. I have a little compassion and forgiveness."
"I don't deserve...or want your forgiveness." Katarina snarled as she drew the shard to her wrist again. "NO!" Lianna lunged at her, grabbing the wrist of the hand that held the weapon. They struggled for control of it, and Lianna had the upper hand for a while. But a new conviction came into Katarina's eyes, Lianna could see it. Their faces were so close, and Kat's strange look held Lianna's attention. Then, with one last thrust, Kat put an end to the elf that caused her so much misery.
Chapter 13 – The Perfect Escape?
While the lovers were basking, Katarina was in despair, yet again. She had holed up in her own house, sitting on her bed, hugging her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth like a crazy person since she left Lianna's house. She wept quietly, but every now and then the magnitude of her situation would get the best of her, and she'd cry out, "Valar! Oh Valar!" and sob heavily, burying her face in her hands. She knew she could be thrown in jail for the rest of her life or even executed for attempted murder of Mirkwood royalty.
Her position seemed so absolutely helpless that she felt death would be more comforting. The notion was simply melodramatics at first. But the more she thought about it, the better it sounded. It seemed like the perfect escape from her escapeless situation.
Her windows were covered, and no candles had been lit. It was dark in the room, and it matched her mood. If possible, it made her feel even bleaker. It made the idea of suicide more tempting. She thought about it until finally, she came to a decision. She stopped rocking and got off her bed. She stood in front of the full length mirror that hung on her wall. Seeing her reflection made her sick. She didn't want to live in her body anymore, it only brought pain to herself and the ones she loved. Calmly, she picked up a silver candleholder that was nearby and drove it with incredible force into the mirror.
Several long cracks stemmed immediately from the point of impact. Small chunks fell with a clatter to the floor. She knelt beside the mess and picked out what looked like the sharpest piece. She eyed it for a moment, then stood up to sit on her bed again.
Holding the slice of mirror in her right hand, she laid her left arm on her knee, the soft flesh of the inside of her wrist showing upward. She looked at the weapon. Even in the darkness of the room, she saw her face in the shard. She searched her own blue eyes with accusation. Suddenly full of rage, she held the point of the shard against her wrist and squeezed her eyes shut, gritting her teeth in readiness for the pain.
"NO! Katarina, stop!" A voice called from the door. Katarina jumped up and looked for the voice. The Elf drew closer, and Katarina saw that it was Lianna. "Lianna?! What are you doing here?" Katarina shouted in dismay and alarm. "Didn't you hear me knocking? I was afraid you'd already done it." "How did you know..." Katarina trailed off as she dropped her eyes to the shard of mirror she still held in her hand. "Well, I asked myself what I'd do if I were in your situation. And it didn't look good. So I thought I'd come check on you. And good thing I did, looks like."
"Good thing?" Katarina shouted. "GOOD THING?" She shrieked a second time. "What am I good for now? And why would you care?" Kat yelled. Lianna held her hands up defensively. "Our actions are not all that define who we are. And I would care, because I am not as cold as you may think I am. I have a little compassion and forgiveness."
"I don't deserve...or want your forgiveness." Katarina snarled as she drew the shard to her wrist again. "NO!" Lianna lunged at her, grabbing the wrist of the hand that held the weapon. They struggled for control of it, and Lianna had the upper hand for a while. But a new conviction came into Katarina's eyes, Lianna could see it. Their faces were so close, and Kat's strange look held Lianna's attention. Then, with one last thrust, Kat put an end to the elf that caused her so much misery.