-The Dare Game –
Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda or any of the characters (except me...or do one of my bishies own me? O_o)
By the way it's stupid. Its insane humour for crying out loud!!! Well please r&r at the end and tell me what you thought! There's quite a lot of swearing in this chapter and it's randomly all over the place so yeah...thought I might just tell you guys that.
Okay I'll shut up now.
********** It all started with your average game of strip poker....
Loreille: Go fish.
Gannondorf: * looks at his cards* shoot.
Link: * takes swig of beer* I can beat * hic* all of ya!
Gannondorf: shut up Link.
Link: Why the hell * hic* should I!? You know, I wanted * hic* to do other things than run around in a dress all day and fight freakin ugly * hic* monsters and save Zelda from some insane red haired guy!!!
Gannondorf: ¬¬ ....
Link: I wanted to be an artist and write poetry! * hic* But to hell with that idea! *Takes another swig of beer *
Loreille: ¬¬ Poetry? ...You?
Link: * takes yet another swig* ohhhhh... fuck it!
Loreille: Oh thanks a lot Link! Now I have to boost the rating up for this fanfic!
Link: oh who gives a shit?! You're all fucking assholes!
Gannondorf: Link-
Link: * hic* what the hell do you want?! * Points at Gannondorf* you jerk! If it hadn't been for you and that stuck up bitch of a princess I wouldn't have gotten that ficken cretin horse of mine, gotten engaged to that naked fish girl and-
Gannondorf: LINK!
Link: oh shut up you evil bastard! Your piano music was shit anyway!
Gannondorf: # * elbows Link in the head* * takes a deep breath* AS I WAS SAYING ...
Link: * takes out sword* Oh will you shut the hell up?! You're so freakin annoying!!
Gannondorf: * looks at sword* you could put someone's eye out with that.
Link: uh...* hic* that's the plan.
Loreille: * claps hands together* I know! Lets dare each other to do stuff! And you HAVE to do whatever you were dared with!
Link: I'll fucking start then!!!
Loreille: very well.
Link: Gannondorf –
Gannondorf: oh THAT wasn't predictable....
Link: Shut the hell up!! * hic* You've got to dress up like a chicken then present your evil butt to the King of Hyrule * hic* and Zelda.
Gannondorf: like...a chicken?
Loreille: yeah, you know, those things that lay eggs and cluck.
Gannondorf: I KNOW VERY WELL WHAT A CHICKEN IS THANK YOU!!!
Link: yeah, and * hic* you've got to be pretending to advertise Lon Lon Ranch * hic*
Gannondorf: the place...that smells like cowpat?
Loreille: * giggles* here's your outfit Gannonduck!
Gannondorf: * snatches it* I hate dares.... and farm animals.
Link: * Glugs down another bottle of liquor* I don't give a rats ass what you hate!! Why am I here?? In fact...who am I??
Loreille: looks like you've had a little too much to drink Link, now give me the alcohol...* starts pulling bottle away from him*
Link: * grasps onto alcohol for dear life* fuck off whoever you are!! It's my bloody drink! I'll do what I want!
Gannondorf: Man he becomes REALLY different when he's had a beer or two... Wait- he doesn't remember anything? * Evil smile*
Loreille: * starts pushing Gannondorf to Hyrule castle* Oh...just go do your freakin dare!!!
~ In Hyrule Castle~
Gannondorf: uh...how the hell did we get in Loreille?
Loreille: urm... this is a script. Don't concern yourself with the minor details.
Gannondorf: this chicken suit is pinching...
Loreille: I did not need to know that!
Link: Hey! Look! It's the princess * hic* * starts waving* OVER HERE!! * Regains his memory*
Gannondorf: * slaps his head* darn.
Zelda: link...? You... okay? * Whispers to her dad* I thought we had guards in this castle to stop riff- raff from coming in.
King: I'll fire them.
Link: * stands still for a minuet* * makes weirdo face* WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!
Gannondorf: YES! * Smiles*
Loreille: ¬¬ go do your dare. * Pushes Gannondorf out in front of Zelda and her father*
Zelda and King: * speechless*
Gannondorf: * sighs* come to Lon Lon ranch...the horses are force-fed, the cuckoos wet the bed, the cows shag trees...* starts flapping chicken wings* so come to Lon Lon ranch.... * runs off behind wall*
Zelda: * makes funny face* Ha Ha Ha! Oh gracious! Daddy you got a court jester! How amusing! ^-^
King: * holds forehead* * starts mumbling* and I thought that he was respectable....
Gannondorf: * starts strangling Link* I HATE YOU!!
Loreille: * puts hand on Gannondorf's shoulder*don't worry Ganny. I won't laugh.
Gannondorf: really? You're the only decent person here.
Loreille: yeah of course I won't laugh... * makes little laughing noise* hee hee...hee HA HA HA HA! YOU LOOKED LIKE SUCH AN IDIOT!! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU FLAPPED YOUR WINGS!!
Gannondorf: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE'NT GOING TO LAUGH!!!
Loreille: I lied.
Link: ohhh! I know this place!!!!! * takes swig of wine* ......WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!
Loreille: *snatches drink away from him * quit it with the drinks!!!!
~ Outside Hyrule Castle ~
Gannondorf: * now with chicken outfit off* I'm so happy only four people saw that humiliating act.
Loreille: * stands on rock* * with megaphone* HEY EVERYONE! I HAVE PICTURES OF GANNONDORF DRESSED LIKE A DUCK! BUY TEN COPIES FOR ONLY TWENTY RUPEES!!
Gannondorf: NOW YOUR MAKING MONEY OFF OF ME!?
Loreille: yes! -^-^-
Gannondorf: ¬¬ give me any left over change.
********** ~ Chapter 1 end ~
What will the next dare be? And will Link be sober by next chapter? Something tells me it's going to involve great stupidity...
Please review! Nothing too mean though. I'm sensitive * sniffle*
Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda or any of the characters (except me...or do one of my bishies own me? O_o)
By the way it's stupid. Its insane humour for crying out loud!!! Well please r&r at the end and tell me what you thought! There's quite a lot of swearing in this chapter and it's randomly all over the place so yeah...thought I might just tell you guys that.
Okay I'll shut up now.
********** It all started with your average game of strip poker....
Loreille: Go fish.
Gannondorf: * looks at his cards* shoot.
Link: * takes swig of beer* I can beat * hic* all of ya!
Gannondorf: shut up Link.
Link: Why the hell * hic* should I!? You know, I wanted * hic* to do other things than run around in a dress all day and fight freakin ugly * hic* monsters and save Zelda from some insane red haired guy!!!
Gannondorf: ¬¬ ....
Link: I wanted to be an artist and write poetry! * hic* But to hell with that idea! *Takes another swig of beer *
Loreille: ¬¬ Poetry? ...You?
Link: * takes yet another swig* ohhhhh... fuck it!
Loreille: Oh thanks a lot Link! Now I have to boost the rating up for this fanfic!
Link: oh who gives a shit?! You're all fucking assholes!
Gannondorf: Link-
Link: * hic* what the hell do you want?! * Points at Gannondorf* you jerk! If it hadn't been for you and that stuck up bitch of a princess I wouldn't have gotten that ficken cretin horse of mine, gotten engaged to that naked fish girl and-
Gannondorf: LINK!
Link: oh shut up you evil bastard! Your piano music was shit anyway!
Gannondorf: # * elbows Link in the head* * takes a deep breath* AS I WAS SAYING ...
Link: * takes out sword* Oh will you shut the hell up?! You're so freakin annoying!!
Gannondorf: * looks at sword* you could put someone's eye out with that.
Link: uh...* hic* that's the plan.
Loreille: * claps hands together* I know! Lets dare each other to do stuff! And you HAVE to do whatever you were dared with!
Link: I'll fucking start then!!!
Loreille: very well.
Link: Gannondorf –
Gannondorf: oh THAT wasn't predictable....
Link: Shut the hell up!! * hic* You've got to dress up like a chicken then present your evil butt to the King of Hyrule * hic* and Zelda.
Gannondorf: like...a chicken?
Loreille: yeah, you know, those things that lay eggs and cluck.
Gannondorf: I KNOW VERY WELL WHAT A CHICKEN IS THANK YOU!!!
Link: yeah, and * hic* you've got to be pretending to advertise Lon Lon Ranch * hic*
Gannondorf: the place...that smells like cowpat?
Loreille: * giggles* here's your outfit Gannonduck!
Gannondorf: * snatches it* I hate dares.... and farm animals.
Link: * Glugs down another bottle of liquor* I don't give a rats ass what you hate!! Why am I here?? In fact...who am I??
Loreille: looks like you've had a little too much to drink Link, now give me the alcohol...* starts pulling bottle away from him*
Link: * grasps onto alcohol for dear life* fuck off whoever you are!! It's my bloody drink! I'll do what I want!
Gannondorf: Man he becomes REALLY different when he's had a beer or two... Wait- he doesn't remember anything? * Evil smile*
Loreille: * starts pushing Gannondorf to Hyrule castle* Oh...just go do your freakin dare!!!
~ In Hyrule Castle~
Gannondorf: uh...how the hell did we get in Loreille?
Loreille: urm... this is a script. Don't concern yourself with the minor details.
Gannondorf: this chicken suit is pinching...
Loreille: I did not need to know that!
Link: Hey! Look! It's the princess * hic* * starts waving* OVER HERE!! * Regains his memory*
Gannondorf: * slaps his head* darn.
Zelda: link...? You... okay? * Whispers to her dad* I thought we had guards in this castle to stop riff- raff from coming in.
King: I'll fire them.
Link: * stands still for a minuet* * makes weirdo face* WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!
Gannondorf: YES! * Smiles*
Loreille: ¬¬ go do your dare. * Pushes Gannondorf out in front of Zelda and her father*
Zelda and King: * speechless*
Gannondorf: * sighs* come to Lon Lon ranch...the horses are force-fed, the cuckoos wet the bed, the cows shag trees...* starts flapping chicken wings* so come to Lon Lon ranch.... * runs off behind wall*
Zelda: * makes funny face* Ha Ha Ha! Oh gracious! Daddy you got a court jester! How amusing! ^-^
King: * holds forehead* * starts mumbling* and I thought that he was respectable....
Gannondorf: * starts strangling Link* I HATE YOU!!
Loreille: * puts hand on Gannondorf's shoulder*don't worry Ganny. I won't laugh.
Gannondorf: really? You're the only decent person here.
Loreille: yeah of course I won't laugh... * makes little laughing noise* hee hee...hee HA HA HA HA! YOU LOOKED LIKE SUCH AN IDIOT!! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU FLAPPED YOUR WINGS!!
Gannondorf: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE'NT GOING TO LAUGH!!!
Loreille: I lied.
Link: ohhh! I know this place!!!!! * takes swig of wine* ......WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!
Loreille: *snatches drink away from him * quit it with the drinks!!!!
~ Outside Hyrule Castle ~
Gannondorf: * now with chicken outfit off* I'm so happy only four people saw that humiliating act.
Loreille: * stands on rock* * with megaphone* HEY EVERYONE! I HAVE PICTURES OF GANNONDORF DRESSED LIKE A DUCK! BUY TEN COPIES FOR ONLY TWENTY RUPEES!!
Gannondorf: NOW YOUR MAKING MONEY OFF OF ME!?
Loreille: yes! -^-^-
Gannondorf: ¬¬ give me any left over change.
********** ~ Chapter 1 end ~
What will the next dare be? And will Link be sober by next chapter? Something tells me it's going to involve great stupidity...
Please review! Nothing too mean though. I'm sensitive * sniffle*