-Chapter 2- Good luck ye Link!
Hello again to all the people who where nice enough to read my story!! I would have even continued this if I didn't get those few extra reviews! So keep them coming if you ever want to see any more of this story!!
Where we left off...Ganondorf was dressed up like a diseased slab of poultry, and Link is stuck in a permanent drunken state. As for me? I shall of course stay as cynical as ever...
Oh yeah the disclaimer almost forgot about that....
Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda or any of the characters
There, that should keep the Nintendo FBI happy. And so we continue....
Loreille, Link and Ganondorf: (sitting around a random fire in a random part of Hyrule field) [Gotta love that grass!]
Loreille: Its so convenient they have fires out here.
Ganondorf: ¬¬ That's only because Link set the liquor alight...
Link: Asshole! Care to say that again?!
Ganondorf: But...you did...(sweatdrop)
Link: All right you son of a bitch! I'm gonna slaughter you!!!
Ganondorf: ¬¬ what? There is no reason for YOU to want to- (thinks back to all the evil acts he's ever done) well...not today anyway...
Link: All right, that's it!! (Starts trying to punch Ganondorf)
Loreille: ¬¬ fools (whips out guitar) This seems like the perfect time for a corny camp fire song...(starts stringing every string on the guitar) Kumbya my lord, Kumby-
Ganondorf: (falls on top of guitar) Bastard!!
Loreille: ¬¬ you broke my instrument.
Ganondorf: (looks at the deformed guitar) why, so I did.
Loreille: The price for destroying one of my objects is death.
Ganondorf: (sweatdrop) could you lower the price an insy bit...?
Link: (randomly runs around in circles) AIIIYYEEE!!
Loreille: ...are you feeling okay Link...?
Link: (Runs into lon lon ranch) CUCCOS!
Ganondorf: And they say I'M the insane one...geez...clueless people...
Loreille: (Hits Ganondorf over the head with the sick looking banjo) Its Link's turn to do a dare!! Follow him Ganny!!!
Ganondorf: (Tightens fist) I really wish you'd stop calling me that...
Loreille: ¬¬ (holds out his recently worn chicken costume)
Ganondorf: Oo eeee...I'm going...
- In lon lon ranch
Loreille: Psst, what do you think we should do for the drunkard Ganny??
Ganondorf: Destroy him!!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA -!
Loreille: ¬¬
Ganondorf: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA –
Loreille: ¬¬ (looks at watch)
Ganondorf: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA –
Loreille: (smacks him round the head with a wine bottle) [courtesy of Link] SHADDUP!!!!
Ganondorf: (rubs head in pain little glass shards are stuck in his hair) hmmm...I think...Link should...WEAR YOUR UNDERGARMENTS!!
Loreille: (smacks him again – this time with a wide screen TV set) [Don't ask how it got to Hyrule] PERVERT!!
Ganondorf: (Rubs head trying to remove glass) Shut up woman!! Are you trying to give me a concussion!?
Loreille: Why, yes.
Ganondorf: Grrrrrr...(makes overly dramatic angry gestures)
Link: HEY! Bitch, bastard!! Hurry up!! (hic) (Looks out to Epona) [His visions blurred] OOOO!! PONY!!
Epona: ¬¬ neigh...
Ganondorf: Oh! I got it!! (smacks fist in his hand, then realises he has the Triforce of power so it hurt like hell) owwie...my hand...(Currently has paralysed hand)
Loreille: (looks at Ganondorf) ¬¬ were you gonna say something?
Ganondorf: (Trying to move hand) uh...um...yeah...I just had a great idea!!!
Loreille: ¬¬ Please share.
Ganondorf: ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP LINK!!!
Link: (Glomping Epona) YAY! HORSEY!
Epona: ¬¬ (sweatdrop) N-neigh...(scared)
Link: (looks at Ganondorf evilly) What do you want you filthy, shitty, fucking son of a-
Loreille: (Throws her scanner at Link to shut him up)
Ganondorf: Thank you.
Loreille: ¬¬ get on with it...
Ganondorf: hec hem...Link! Your dare is to wear one of Loreille's bikinis, ride Epona to Hyrule castle, and then propose to princess Zelda!!!
Link: W-wha!?
Loreille: (stomps up to Ganondorf angrily) WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT BEING A PERVERT, PERVERT!
Ganondorf: (sudden look) Gimme your bikini.
Loreille: ¬¬ not if you were the last bastard in Hyrule.
Ganondorf: But I need my revenge!! (Whines)
Loreille: Well, get your own stinking revenge without the help of my skimpy lil swim-
Ganondorf: (knocks her out then rummages through her bag) ....AH HA!! (pulls out bikini) (Der ner Ner NER!!)
Link: HEY! That's MY stupid finding items music!!
Loreille: (currently out of it)
Link: W- wait... propose...?
Ganondorf: (hands him bikini) put this on.
Link: What the fuck will I get if I do!?
Ganondorf: 10 rupees.
Link: (strips off tunic and puts bikini on)
Ganondorf: (evil smug) stupid gold hungry, freakin peasant...huh? (Looks behind him) AHHH!!!
Loreille: (holds knife to Ganondorf's neck) ¬¬ I should warn you...looking through my personal belongings is not an option...
Ganondorf: ¬¬ (gets out her bag)(takes out framed picture of Ramirez from Skies of Arcadia) ohhhhh...what's this?
[Oh yeah I don't own Skies of Arcadia or any of their characters either. Who would've thought?]
Loreille: (Blushes)GIVE THAT BACK YOU SICK PERVERT!!!!
Ganondorf and Loreille: (Start running around in circles, Ganondorf waving the picture in the air while Loreille shouts death threats at him)
Link: Oh to hell with you two (hic) (climbs on Epona)
Epona: OO NEIGH!! (Scared by what Link is wearing) [Epona's turning into a bit of a coward eh?]
Link: Onward stallion!! Tally ho, and all that crap...
Epona: (falls asleep)
Link: :D...
Ganondorf: (On the ground, currently getting stabbed in the head with a pitchfork) Here (squints) oww! ...Take my horse (calls his horse...some...how...)
Link: I don't want your fucking horse!!
Loreille: Well, too bad (Pushes link onto it) aren't horses fun
Link: ¬¬ why did you put so much armour onto it Ganondorf?
Ganondorf: uh...urm...no comment.
Link: (kicks the horse) MOVE YOU –
Horse: [I dunno if it has a name and frankly I don't care] (runs off extremely fast)
Loreille: (waves goodbye) weddings are so lovely!
Ganondorf: (lying on floor with pitchfork daggered into his head) ¬¬Yeah, I can just hear wedding bells right now...
Loreille: No, that's your skull cracking.
Ganondorf: (twitches)
- In Hyrule Castle
[Strangely enough, the guards didn't seem to notice Link's rather strange attire]
Link: (walks into the pitch black room) ZELDA! WHERE ARE YOU STUCK UP BITCH OF A – (bangs his head on her bed post) AHH! FUCK!!
Girl's voice: Is that you Link?
Link: What's it to you bitch?
Loreille: ¬¬ (spying in from outside window and throws a rock at Link's unprotected head) Your supposed to be proposing you poor excuse for a garden gnome!
Link: aiiiyeee...(staggers up to bed) marry me...
- lights flash on
Ganondorf: (stuffing his face with a pizza) That was convenient.
Ruto: OFCOURSE MY ICKLE BABY LINKY!!! Hee, hee, hee
Link: R-ruto!?
Ruto: (Hugs him tightly then notices what he's wearing) :D...uh...I never knew you were a cross dresser Linky poo.
Link: I AIN'T!!
- Everyone looks at his outfit
Everyone: ¬¬ rigghht...
Loreille: (whispers to Ganondorf) That was a good plan, kidnapping Zelda then putting Ruto in her place Ganny, I think your IQ has improved by 1!!
Ganondorf: ¬¬ oh hoorah.
Loreille: But why did you swap them over Ganny?
Ganondorf: Don't you see? If link gets married to Zelda, I'll be chased around by little Link clones for the rest of my life, but if he gets married to Ruto, I'll just get pelted by little fish babies...with...blonde hair! MWHAHAHA! This plan cannot fail!!
Loreille: ¬¬ You haven't played the Windwaker game yet have you?
Ganondorf: (sobs) Koume said it was too violent for me to handle...
Loreille: oh geez...
Ruto: (Grasps link's neck and starts shaking him) SO WE GET MARRIED THEN CROSSDRESSER!!!! YIIIPPEE!! --
Link: Oo helppp meee...
- Chapter 2 end -
And so Link's dare has come to a close and now he's going to get married (fake tears) its all so beautiful!! Our lil link is all grown up and is going to be a father to fish babies!!
Any who, its my dare next...(shiver) by the way I've been treating those two their not going to make it too nice I bet...
Who came up with this stupid dare idea anyway!? (Flashback) oh yeah...me.
Eh heh heh...Ok keep those reviews coming or I won't continue!!
Hello again to all the people who where nice enough to read my story!! I would have even continued this if I didn't get those few extra reviews! So keep them coming if you ever want to see any more of this story!!
Where we left off...Ganondorf was dressed up like a diseased slab of poultry, and Link is stuck in a permanent drunken state. As for me? I shall of course stay as cynical as ever...
Oh yeah the disclaimer almost forgot about that....
Disclaimer: I do not own Zelda or any of the characters
There, that should keep the Nintendo FBI happy. And so we continue....
Loreille, Link and Ganondorf: (sitting around a random fire in a random part of Hyrule field) [Gotta love that grass!]
Loreille: Its so convenient they have fires out here.
Ganondorf: ¬¬ That's only because Link set the liquor alight...
Link: Asshole! Care to say that again?!
Ganondorf: But...you did...(sweatdrop)
Link: All right you son of a bitch! I'm gonna slaughter you!!!
Ganondorf: ¬¬ what? There is no reason for YOU to want to- (thinks back to all the evil acts he's ever done) well...not today anyway...
Link: All right, that's it!! (Starts trying to punch Ganondorf)
Loreille: ¬¬ fools (whips out guitar) This seems like the perfect time for a corny camp fire song...(starts stringing every string on the guitar) Kumbya my lord, Kumby-
Ganondorf: (falls on top of guitar) Bastard!!
Loreille: ¬¬ you broke my instrument.
Ganondorf: (looks at the deformed guitar) why, so I did.
Loreille: The price for destroying one of my objects is death.
Ganondorf: (sweatdrop) could you lower the price an insy bit...?
Link: (randomly runs around in circles) AIIIYYEEE!!
Loreille: ...are you feeling okay Link...?
Link: (Runs into lon lon ranch) CUCCOS!
Ganondorf: And they say I'M the insane one...geez...clueless people...
Loreille: (Hits Ganondorf over the head with the sick looking banjo) Its Link's turn to do a dare!! Follow him Ganny!!!
Ganondorf: (Tightens fist) I really wish you'd stop calling me that...
Loreille: ¬¬ (holds out his recently worn chicken costume)
Ganondorf: Oo eeee...I'm going...
- In lon lon ranch
Loreille: Psst, what do you think we should do for the drunkard Ganny??
Ganondorf: Destroy him!!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA -!
Loreille: ¬¬
Ganondorf: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA –
Loreille: ¬¬ (looks at watch)
Ganondorf: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA –
Loreille: (smacks him round the head with a wine bottle) [courtesy of Link] SHADDUP!!!!
Ganondorf: (rubs head in pain little glass shards are stuck in his hair) hmmm...I think...Link should...WEAR YOUR UNDERGARMENTS!!
Loreille: (smacks him again – this time with a wide screen TV set) [Don't ask how it got to Hyrule] PERVERT!!
Ganondorf: (Rubs head trying to remove glass) Shut up woman!! Are you trying to give me a concussion!?
Loreille: Why, yes.
Ganondorf: Grrrrrr...(makes overly dramatic angry gestures)
Link: HEY! Bitch, bastard!! Hurry up!! (hic) (Looks out to Epona) [His visions blurred] OOOO!! PONY!!
Epona: ¬¬ neigh...
Ganondorf: Oh! I got it!! (smacks fist in his hand, then realises he has the Triforce of power so it hurt like hell) owwie...my hand...(Currently has paralysed hand)
Loreille: (looks at Ganondorf) ¬¬ were you gonna say something?
Ganondorf: (Trying to move hand) uh...um...yeah...I just had a great idea!!!
Loreille: ¬¬ Please share.
Ganondorf: ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP LINK!!!
Link: (Glomping Epona) YAY! HORSEY!
Epona: ¬¬ (sweatdrop) N-neigh...(scared)
Link: (looks at Ganondorf evilly) What do you want you filthy, shitty, fucking son of a-
Loreille: (Throws her scanner at Link to shut him up)
Ganondorf: Thank you.
Loreille: ¬¬ get on with it...
Ganondorf: hec hem...Link! Your dare is to wear one of Loreille's bikinis, ride Epona to Hyrule castle, and then propose to princess Zelda!!!
Link: W-wha!?
Loreille: (stomps up to Ganondorf angrily) WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT BEING A PERVERT, PERVERT!
Ganondorf: (sudden look) Gimme your bikini.
Loreille: ¬¬ not if you were the last bastard in Hyrule.
Ganondorf: But I need my revenge!! (Whines)
Loreille: Well, get your own stinking revenge without the help of my skimpy lil swim-
Ganondorf: (knocks her out then rummages through her bag) ....AH HA!! (pulls out bikini) (Der ner Ner NER!!)
Link: HEY! That's MY stupid finding items music!!
Loreille: (currently out of it)
Link: W- wait... propose...?
Ganondorf: (hands him bikini) put this on.
Link: What the fuck will I get if I do!?
Ganondorf: 10 rupees.
Link: (strips off tunic and puts bikini on)
Ganondorf: (evil smug) stupid gold hungry, freakin peasant...huh? (Looks behind him) AHHH!!!
Loreille: (holds knife to Ganondorf's neck) ¬¬ I should warn you...looking through my personal belongings is not an option...
Ganondorf: ¬¬ (gets out her bag)(takes out framed picture of Ramirez from Skies of Arcadia) ohhhhh...what's this?
[Oh yeah I don't own Skies of Arcadia or any of their characters either. Who would've thought?]
Loreille: (Blushes)GIVE THAT BACK YOU SICK PERVERT!!!!
Ganondorf and Loreille: (Start running around in circles, Ganondorf waving the picture in the air while Loreille shouts death threats at him)
Link: Oh to hell with you two (hic) (climbs on Epona)
Epona: OO NEIGH!! (Scared by what Link is wearing) [Epona's turning into a bit of a coward eh?]
Link: Onward stallion!! Tally ho, and all that crap...
Epona: (falls asleep)
Link: :D...
Ganondorf: (On the ground, currently getting stabbed in the head with a pitchfork) Here (squints) oww! ...Take my horse (calls his horse...some...how...)
Link: I don't want your fucking horse!!
Loreille: Well, too bad (Pushes link onto it) aren't horses fun
Link: ¬¬ why did you put so much armour onto it Ganondorf?
Ganondorf: uh...urm...no comment.
Link: (kicks the horse) MOVE YOU –
Horse: [I dunno if it has a name and frankly I don't care] (runs off extremely fast)
Loreille: (waves goodbye) weddings are so lovely!
Ganondorf: (lying on floor with pitchfork daggered into his head) ¬¬Yeah, I can just hear wedding bells right now...
Loreille: No, that's your skull cracking.
Ganondorf: (twitches)
- In Hyrule Castle
[Strangely enough, the guards didn't seem to notice Link's rather strange attire]
Link: (walks into the pitch black room) ZELDA! WHERE ARE YOU STUCK UP BITCH OF A – (bangs his head on her bed post) AHH! FUCK!!
Girl's voice: Is that you Link?
Link: What's it to you bitch?
Loreille: ¬¬ (spying in from outside window and throws a rock at Link's unprotected head) Your supposed to be proposing you poor excuse for a garden gnome!
Link: aiiiyeee...(staggers up to bed) marry me...
- lights flash on
Ganondorf: (stuffing his face with a pizza) That was convenient.
Ruto: OFCOURSE MY ICKLE BABY LINKY!!! Hee, hee, hee
Link: R-ruto!?
Ruto: (Hugs him tightly then notices what he's wearing) :D...uh...I never knew you were a cross dresser Linky poo.
Link: I AIN'T!!
- Everyone looks at his outfit
Everyone: ¬¬ rigghht...
Loreille: (whispers to Ganondorf) That was a good plan, kidnapping Zelda then putting Ruto in her place Ganny, I think your IQ has improved by 1!!
Ganondorf: ¬¬ oh hoorah.
Loreille: But why did you swap them over Ganny?
Ganondorf: Don't you see? If link gets married to Zelda, I'll be chased around by little Link clones for the rest of my life, but if he gets married to Ruto, I'll just get pelted by little fish babies...with...blonde hair! MWHAHAHA! This plan cannot fail!!
Loreille: ¬¬ You haven't played the Windwaker game yet have you?
Ganondorf: (sobs) Koume said it was too violent for me to handle...
Loreille: oh geez...
Ruto: (Grasps link's neck and starts shaking him) SO WE GET MARRIED THEN CROSSDRESSER!!!! YIIIPPEE!! --
Link: Oo helppp meee...
- Chapter 2 end -
And so Link's dare has come to a close and now he's going to get married (fake tears) its all so beautiful!! Our lil link is all grown up and is going to be a father to fish babies!!
Any who, its my dare next...(shiver) by the way I've been treating those two their not going to make it too nice I bet...
Who came up with this stupid dare idea anyway!? (Flashback) oh yeah...me.
Eh heh heh...Ok keep those reviews coming or I won't continue!!