Title: Four Companions
Author: Egwene
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Sirius/James (what is it with this couple and angst??)
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of his relatives, friends, lovers, professors, admirers, enemies…
Summary: Each of the Marauders deals in his own way with the aftermath of the Whomping Willow Incident. Remus' POV.
Note: A great thank you to Sophocles who's a wonderful beta and to everybody on the SiriusxJames list for their incredible support!
Feedback much welcomed.
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Chapter 4: The Houses of Healing
Remus was sitting comfortably in a chair in the Gryffindor common room reading a book. Or rather, he was pretending to read a book. Instead he was watching James fidgeting on a chair in front of him.
Earlier that month they had discussed whether or not James should talk to Sirius and try to make up with him. Remus had told James he should do what felt right within his heart.
James stood up, looked at him, and headed towards the stairs.
Remus smiled. He was happy for his friends.
He knew things would take time to be right again between James and Sirius and even more between the four of them. But he also knew they would do anything to straighten things out so they could be comfortable around each other again.
It had taken him a long time to forgive Sirius.
At first he had believed Sirius had used him to get back at Snape. What could be more effective to frighten your worst enemy than to set up an encounter with a werewolf on a full moon night, in a deserted, isolated house? Nothing.
He had been angry with Sirius for using him, and with himself for letting a friend use him like that.
He had felt betrayed, less than James of course, but still, how could Sirius so willingly destroy a friendship of six years?
He had felt ashamed too, that he had so completely trusted Sirius, that he had never foreseen this would happen.
Last but not least, he had been worried, worried that Sirius would tell everybody about him. After all, he had told Snape, of all people, so what could prevent him from telling the whole school?
He had felt so vulnerable, so exposed, and he had hated it.
Of course, he had seen the dejected look Sirius had been wearing on his face since that night, but he had figured Sirius was sorry his little prank had gone wrong and that Snape was still alive.
He felt he should have known better. What could a Black know about friendship and loyalty anyway?
Sirius obviously pretended to be apologetic to regain their trust. It would not work.
He had even tried to explain but Remus had cut him short. He had told him he wanted him out of his sight and Sirius had complied without another word.
After a while, the doubts and insecurities had become too much and he had gone to talk to Sirius.
He had to know why. At first he had been blinded by anger, rage, shame, doubt, but he needed to forget.
Sirius had agreed to talk to him. They had met in the empty dorm one afternoon.
The conversation had been uncomfortable at best, and not at all what Remus had been expecting.
Sirius had apologised. He had admitted it had been a prank gone wrong but in no way had he intended for Snape to meet Moony. He hated Snape, but he didn't want to see him die.
After a few rough weeks where Snape had never left Sirius alone, he had cracked and explained how and when to go to the Shack. It was a full moon night, but at the time he had told Snape to be there, they should all have been gone. He had intended to be the only one in the house, in his animagus form, to greet Snape and give him the fright of his life.
Unfortunately Sirius had been delayed on an unexpected detention with McGonagall. He had not changed his plans because he had believed James and Peter would be on time and all three would leave the Shack long before Snape's arrival.
Unbeknownst to him James had gotten a detention with the Potion Master and Peter had been waiting for his friends in the dorm because he knew he was no match for Moony on his own.
At nine o'clock James had called Sirius on the two-way mirror and had asked when he would be finished. Sirius had been very surprised when he had realised Prongs and Wormtail were not with Moony. He had immediately told James what he had done and urged him to go to the Shack and try to save Snape from confronting a full-grown, lonely werewolf.
He had tried to talk McGonagall into letting him go, saying his friends were in trouble, but she had not believed him and he had had to stay until he had finished the three-meter essay. He had not discovered the events of the night until he had been released at eleven; his lack of concentration had not allowed him to finish the essay sooner.
Remus had let Sirius explain, listening avidly, interrupting when he didn't understand. And Sirius had talked; he had not stopped before the end, not even to wipe the few tears that had escaped his eyes as he had told again and again how sorry he was.
At last, Remus had been able to forgive him. Sirius was still his friend, and it had been a stupid mistake; Sirius had not planned to use him and his secret was safe. He was quite sure the other boy would not do anything so stupid in the near future.
He had not said this to Sirius because he had felt they should all forgive him at the same time, or at least himself and James, and he had been sure James was not ready to do that yet.
He had considered telling James the truth about the prank because in his haste Sirius had not told him why he had led Snape to the Whomping Willow, but he had promised Sirius their conversation would remain strictly between the two of them.
So he had watched his two friends suffer apart, just as he had watched Peter rejoice.
He did not understand Peter. Remus knew he had felt abandoned when James and Sirius had become boyfriends, but surely he was happy that his two friends had found each other, wasn't he? He wasn't sure about it; Peter had tried to convince James not to go and talk to Sirius.
Remus sighed and put the book down on the table in front of him. So far he had not heard any yelling from upstairs and neither James nor Sirius had run down crying. It had to be a good sign.
Remus was worried about Sirius.
He looked more and more depressed each day, and Remus was afraid of what he could do if pushed too far.
He had not talked to Sirius after he had explained about the prank because he had not wanted to push James, and in truth, he had still needed time to accept the fact that he had almost killed Snape and James. He had stopped being openly angry with Sirius though, and he hoped it had been enough to show Sirius he wasn't mad at him anymore.
When they had learnt that Sirius had run away and had been disowned, his worry had increased, but Sirius hadn't looked or acted differently, so he had supposed the other boy did not care what a family he hated above all could do or say to him.
Remus looked at his watch; they had been talking – or rather he hoped they were talking – for two hours. The common room had started to empty for the night.
His book lay forgotten on the table.
He looked at Peter, and could see that he too was wondering about the late hour.
Then he heard a stair crack, and he saw his two friends coming down. They were smiling shyly. Red ridges around their eyes suggested they had been both crying.
Remus smiled back; they were holding hands.
Finally, there was a chance for healing.
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A/N: this is it. I finished it! I know I leave a few issues unresolved but then I may be convinced to write a sequel or a companion story of some sort… what do you think?
Thanks to Karliya Malfoy and Violetangel07 for their kind reviews. I did steal the chapter titles for Mr. Tolkien, the first three from FotR and the last from RotK. I didn't intend to at first, but "A knife in the dark" is one of my favourite chapters and it seemed to fit so well… the other ones became obvious at that point =D