My next installment. (Thank you, nofurylikewiccansscorned, for your v. encouraging email. If I get enough good reviews I'll write another chapter where they're all turned into Harry Potter characters or somesuch.) I think this time they should all be transformed into...
Characters under the Lord Of The Rings spell
Morgan - Arwen
Hunter - Aragorn
Bree - Sam
Robbie - Frodo
Alisa - Boromir
Raven - Eowyn
Sky - Galadriel
Killian - Gandalf
Ciaran - Legolas
Selene - Sauron
Cal - Gollum
Two weeks have passed since the Buffy incident. Kithic's last circle didn't go so bad, but this time Morgan is daydreaming again, and when they come out of the circle...
Robbie: Wtf? I'm small! Really, really small...
Bree: As long as your *cough*, um, appendages haven't shrunk too... hey, I'm small too! *sobs* Now I'll never fit in my stilettos again!
(Everyone glares accusingly at Morgan)
Morgan: What?
Raven: I thought that was pretty clear.
Morgan: This can't be my fault. I've daydreamed during Circle before, and my energy wasn't misdirected then - otherwise you'd all be turned into Hunter's big, gorgeous...face! FACE! What?
Hunter: So someone is doing this to you?
Sky: *in ethereal, husky voice* But how do we break the spell?
Robbie: Morgan, what were you daydreaming about this time?
Morgan: Well...Lord of the Rings. Hunter's my Aragorn - he's so commanding!
(Alisa walks in dressed in big heavy tunic with shield, sword and horn.)
Bree: Hey, the spell brought Alisa back!
(Raven sticks a foot out and trips Alisa. Alisa falls and impales herself on the sword.)
Raven: *coughs* Oh look, no it didn't.
Robbie: Hey...I'm...hungry.
Bree: Yeah, real hungry. Like - I missed elevenses!
(They dash off at top speed on their little legs for the kitchen. Since nobody else knows what to do, they all sit back down and start whistling aimlessly. Loud bangs and thuds can be heard. The long cooking scene is omitted, but needless to say Bree and Robbie half demolish the kitchen in their relentless search for food...or at least something they can reach the top shelf with. Unable to find potatoes or mushrooms, they run back in with Pot Noodles. They sit down and start gobbling them. Bree stretches and her long sleeve falls back from her hand, revealing...a cheap plastic ring with a tacky red jewel stuck on.)
Robbie: S'mine! Give it to me! Give it to me!
Bree: Argh!
Morgan: Someone stop the pint-sized psychopaths!
(Everyone holds Robbie back from killing Bree, apart from Raven, who can't be bothered.)
Bree: Okay...you are so endangering our relationship! *sniffs* Have it then! Know my embarrassing secret...I buy my jewellery from Walmart!
Hunter: Hey, that's where I buy my underwear from!
(Everyone looks away.)
Hunter: What?
(The door bursts open. Fireworks shoot through the room and light up everything in pretty pretty colours.)
Killian: Ahem, sorry 'bout that. It seems to be happening wherever I go at the moment.
Morgan: No problem. Fireworks so pretty...
Killian: Anyways...No! Robbie! Don't put it on or you shall be...DOOMED!
Robbie: What?
Killian: DOOMED!
Robbie: Um...*laughs*
Killian: What? *pouts*
Robbie: Sorry, bit hard to take you seriously when you've a two foot beard.
Killian: *sits down and bursts into tears* It's not my fault I'm always the serious guy in Morgan's spells! *sobs* I'm not even allowed a drink!
Sky: So why is Robbie doomed?
Hunter: Yeah, what's wrong with Walmart?
Killian: *sighs* It's the One Ring. It's evil.
Bree: I don't think it is.
Sky: Yes, it's just...tacky.
Killian: Yes, but it's evilly tacky. That is its greatest evil of all. *waggles eyebrows*.
Robbie: I still don't think it's evil. *grabs ring* I'll defend you! Don't worry...my precious...
Killian: See! There's my proof!
Morgan: Um...
Killian: Alright then. When I throw the ring into this fire - Morgan, please - words of the Black speech of Mordor will appear on its surface.
(He chucks it into the fire. The plastic hisses, bubbles and starts to melt.)
Robbie: Noooo!
(Raven hooks it out with her sword. The ring cools down and is intact, if slightly burnt.)
Killian: Read it!
Raven: Um...*reads* Ha ha, scum of light and goodness. This is the property of Disney, all rights reserved. Check our website www.disneyisgoingtotakeovertheworldandnobodycanstopus.com for details. Thank you for buying this Disney merchandise and kindly prepare to meet your DOOM.
Morgan: Oh my Goddess!
Killian: Hey, how come nobody said that when I said DOOM?
Robbie: Because you have a two foot long beard.
Killian: Oh yeah.
Morgan: But what do we do?
Killian: We need to throw it into a volcano.
Sky: But where is there a volcano around here?
Killian: Morgan?
(The house starts to shake. A volcano rises through the middle of it. It keeps rising till they are all standing on top overlooking a large crater of lava.)
Morgan: Oooh...fire pretty...*bends over* *falls in*.
Hunter: Nooo! My muirn beatha dan! I'll save you! *dives in after her*
Sky: Er, Hunter?
(Hunter hits the lava. There is a splash and a loud sizzling sound.)
Sky: Never mind.
Killian: Robbie! Throw it in!
Cal: *appears from nowhere* Nooo! Precious!
(He runs up and bites off Robbie's finger. Unfortunately, it's not the one with the Ring on it. Cal overbalances and topples into the crater, taking Robbie's finger with him.)
Raven: Oookay. That was weird.
Sky: I'll say.
(Robbie chucks it in. With the disappearance of the Ring, the spell is broken. Morgan, Hunter and Alisa reappear. The volcano disappears. Morgan promptly makes a magick flamethrower and toasts Alisa.)
Morgan: Oh my Goddess! I'm sorry, that was sooo rude. I meant to ask first. Does anybody mind?
Everybody: No.
Raven: Hey, what's this?
(She bends over and picks up a tacky silver ring off the floor. The inscription reads: You think you have won. Think again. Disney have lawsuits you know - and other ways of making you co-operate...)
Raven: Weird.
(She chucks it over her shoulder, where Alisa is getting back up from her brutal attack. The new ring explodes in flames and kills her properly.)
Hunter: So is it Disney which are manipulating my poor Morgan?
Morgan: No, it felt...more evil than that.
Sky: More evil than Disney? *everyone shudders*
(Morgan nods. Everyone clutches at each other in fear of what could be more evil than Disney...they will find out.)
Characters under the Lord Of The Rings spell
Morgan - Arwen
Hunter - Aragorn
Bree - Sam
Robbie - Frodo
Alisa - Boromir
Raven - Eowyn
Sky - Galadriel
Killian - Gandalf
Ciaran - Legolas
Selene - Sauron
Cal - Gollum
Two weeks have passed since the Buffy incident. Kithic's last circle didn't go so bad, but this time Morgan is daydreaming again, and when they come out of the circle...
Robbie: Wtf? I'm small! Really, really small...
Bree: As long as your *cough*, um, appendages haven't shrunk too... hey, I'm small too! *sobs* Now I'll never fit in my stilettos again!
(Everyone glares accusingly at Morgan)
Morgan: What?
Raven: I thought that was pretty clear.
Morgan: This can't be my fault. I've daydreamed during Circle before, and my energy wasn't misdirected then - otherwise you'd all be turned into Hunter's big, gorgeous...face! FACE! What?
Hunter: So someone is doing this to you?
Sky: *in ethereal, husky voice* But how do we break the spell?
Robbie: Morgan, what were you daydreaming about this time?
Morgan: Well...Lord of the Rings. Hunter's my Aragorn - he's so commanding!
(Alisa walks in dressed in big heavy tunic with shield, sword and horn.)
Bree: Hey, the spell brought Alisa back!
(Raven sticks a foot out and trips Alisa. Alisa falls and impales herself on the sword.)
Raven: *coughs* Oh look, no it didn't.
Robbie: Hey...I'm...hungry.
Bree: Yeah, real hungry. Like - I missed elevenses!
(They dash off at top speed on their little legs for the kitchen. Since nobody else knows what to do, they all sit back down and start whistling aimlessly. Loud bangs and thuds can be heard. The long cooking scene is omitted, but needless to say Bree and Robbie half demolish the kitchen in their relentless search for food...or at least something they can reach the top shelf with. Unable to find potatoes or mushrooms, they run back in with Pot Noodles. They sit down and start gobbling them. Bree stretches and her long sleeve falls back from her hand, revealing...a cheap plastic ring with a tacky red jewel stuck on.)
Robbie: S'mine! Give it to me! Give it to me!
Bree: Argh!
Morgan: Someone stop the pint-sized psychopaths!
(Everyone holds Robbie back from killing Bree, apart from Raven, who can't be bothered.)
Bree: Okay...you are so endangering our relationship! *sniffs* Have it then! Know my embarrassing secret...I buy my jewellery from Walmart!
Hunter: Hey, that's where I buy my underwear from!
(Everyone looks away.)
Hunter: What?
(The door bursts open. Fireworks shoot through the room and light up everything in pretty pretty colours.)
Killian: Ahem, sorry 'bout that. It seems to be happening wherever I go at the moment.
Morgan: No problem. Fireworks so pretty...
Killian: Anyways...No! Robbie! Don't put it on or you shall be...DOOMED!
Robbie: What?
Killian: DOOMED!
Robbie: Um...*laughs*
Killian: What? *pouts*
Robbie: Sorry, bit hard to take you seriously when you've a two foot beard.
Killian: *sits down and bursts into tears* It's not my fault I'm always the serious guy in Morgan's spells! *sobs* I'm not even allowed a drink!
Sky: So why is Robbie doomed?
Hunter: Yeah, what's wrong with Walmart?
Killian: *sighs* It's the One Ring. It's evil.
Bree: I don't think it is.
Sky: Yes, it's just...tacky.
Killian: Yes, but it's evilly tacky. That is its greatest evil of all. *waggles eyebrows*.
Robbie: I still don't think it's evil. *grabs ring* I'll defend you! Don't worry...my precious...
Killian: See! There's my proof!
Morgan: Um...
Killian: Alright then. When I throw the ring into this fire - Morgan, please - words of the Black speech of Mordor will appear on its surface.
(He chucks it into the fire. The plastic hisses, bubbles and starts to melt.)
Robbie: Noooo!
(Raven hooks it out with her sword. The ring cools down and is intact, if slightly burnt.)
Killian: Read it!
Raven: Um...*reads* Ha ha, scum of light and goodness. This is the property of Disney, all rights reserved. Check our website www.disneyisgoingtotakeovertheworldandnobodycanstopus.com for details. Thank you for buying this Disney merchandise and kindly prepare to meet your DOOM.
Morgan: Oh my Goddess!
Killian: Hey, how come nobody said that when I said DOOM?
Robbie: Because you have a two foot long beard.
Killian: Oh yeah.
Morgan: But what do we do?
Killian: We need to throw it into a volcano.
Sky: But where is there a volcano around here?
Killian: Morgan?
(The house starts to shake. A volcano rises through the middle of it. It keeps rising till they are all standing on top overlooking a large crater of lava.)
Morgan: Oooh...fire pretty...*bends over* *falls in*.
Hunter: Nooo! My muirn beatha dan! I'll save you! *dives in after her*
Sky: Er, Hunter?
(Hunter hits the lava. There is a splash and a loud sizzling sound.)
Sky: Never mind.
Killian: Robbie! Throw it in!
Cal: *appears from nowhere* Nooo! Precious!
(He runs up and bites off Robbie's finger. Unfortunately, it's not the one with the Ring on it. Cal overbalances and topples into the crater, taking Robbie's finger with him.)
Raven: Oookay. That was weird.
Sky: I'll say.
(Robbie chucks it in. With the disappearance of the Ring, the spell is broken. Morgan, Hunter and Alisa reappear. The volcano disappears. Morgan promptly makes a magick flamethrower and toasts Alisa.)
Morgan: Oh my Goddess! I'm sorry, that was sooo rude. I meant to ask first. Does anybody mind?
Everybody: No.
Raven: Hey, what's this?
(She bends over and picks up a tacky silver ring off the floor. The inscription reads: You think you have won. Think again. Disney have lawsuits you know - and other ways of making you co-operate...)
Raven: Weird.
(She chucks it over her shoulder, where Alisa is getting back up from her brutal attack. The new ring explodes in flames and kills her properly.)
Hunter: So is it Disney which are manipulating my poor Morgan?
Morgan: No, it felt...more evil than that.
Sky: More evil than Disney? *everyone shudders*
(Morgan nods. Everyone clutches at each other in fear of what could be more evil than Disney...they will find out.)