My last chapter {sniffles}. Sorry it's been a while. Thank you nice people who sent in suggestions, I've chosen...
Characters under The Simpsons spell!
Morgan - Marge
Hunter - Homer
Bree - Lisa
Robbie - Bart
Alisa - Maude Flanders
Raven - Ned Flanders
Sky - Ms Krabappel
Dagda - Snowball
Yet another Kithic Circle. Morgan is chained to her bed at home and forbidden to do any magic whatsoever - but...
Hunter: {coming out of the circle and realising something is wrong - very wrong} MORGAN! I - TOLD YOU! {summons up Morgan}
Morgan: Hunter, it wasn't me. Someone chained me to a bed, remember?
Sky: And damn sexy you looked too... {catches Raven's eye} Sorry! Sorry!
Hunter: So what are we now?
Bree: Well, let's see...we only have three fingers, we're all suddenly bright yellow and Morgan's hair has just turned blue and is now scraping plaster off the ceiling...
Morgan: What? {looks up} {hair is tipped behind her and knocks Alisa over, who has suddenly come back from the dead}
Alisa: {picking herself up} Mooorgan! I'm telling! That wasn't a very Christian to do!
Morgan: But we're Wiccan.
Alisa: {considers this new revelation}
Bree: I think we're Simpsons characters!
Robbie: The Simpsons? Cartoons? Ay carumba!
(Robbie takes a random skateboard which just happens to be lying about and rides through the window. He lands two storeys down unharmed and skates back through the doorway which just happens to be open.)
Robbie: Cool man!
Bree: Mmm...skateboarding REALLY turns me on!
Robbie: {leans in to kiss her}
Morgan: Stop! You're brother and sister!
Bree: {looks at Robbie} Nooo!
Hunter: Heh heh heh...but we're not, Morgan my love...
Morgan: No, but you're going bald and hugely obese. Strangely I don't feel like it.
Hunter: {bursts into tears} Well - well - I wouldn't kiss someone with blue hair anyway!
Morgan: {removes baseball bat from hair} {knocks Hunter out} No, but it does have its uses...{grins evilly} {everyone backs away}
Robbie: {pointing} Heey...a TV just appeared in the room!
(Everyone crowds round. Alisa leans extra close to read the words.)
Alisa: It's the credits...{leans closer} {TV suddenly explodes in her face}
Robbie: Oh great, now the TV's gone.
(Dagda walks in.)
Morgan: Oh hi, gorgeous!
Hunter: {waking up} Oh thanks love!
Morgan: Not you, dimwit! {hits him with baseball bat again}
Raven: Shouldn't that be my job?
Dagda: {hisses}
Bree: Hey, that's not the same kitty! He's all black and icky...
Morgan: Don't call Dagda icky! {pulls chainsaw out of hair}
Bree: {is sliced in half} Morgan, you are so immature!
Robbie: Oh, pull yourself together Bree!
(Bree glares. Both halves kick Robbie in...a very painful place...then she dies.)
Morgan: Dagda, who's a very hungry kitty?
Dagda: {meows}
(Dagda eats both halves of Bree's body. Then he eats Alisa's. He attempts to eat Hunter, but Hunter wakes up just in time.)
Hunter: Someone stop that cat!
Dagda: {jumps into Morgan's arms and glares}
Sky: How do we end this spell? It isn't Morgan, the Simpsons has no plot we can get to the end of, and no rules to break like in Buffy!
Hunter: We'll have to tackle the problem at its source...mmm...sauce...
Morgan: You mean the big evil that's been manipulating me? {shudders}
Sky: Or...we could just make out!
Raven: Gay sex? That's just dang-diddly un-Christian!
Sky: But we're Wiccan.
Raven: {considers this new revelation}
Sky: Pleeeease?
Raven: I can't, I'm married. {looks for Alisa, remembers a TV blew up in her face and she is now inside Dagda} Oh, okey-diddly-okily then!
Sky: I have no idea what you just said - but who cares?
(Raven and Sky make out. Aaah.)
Hunter: We still have to diddly - I mean, we still have to destroy the spell. Any ideas?
Morgan: Why don't you just call the big evil doing this?
Hunter: How? The Simpsons don't use magic!
Morgan: {sighs} The Simpsons are cartoons. We can do whatever we want. Just - pretend it's a Halloween special!
(Kithic gather at the power sink. They are all dressed in pointy hats, black robes, and are all cackling with manical laughter round a cauldron filled with a bubbling icky green liquid that looks like snot (the ones who are alive, obviously).)
Hunter (grumbling): Still don't see why we have to wear these stupid hats.
Morgan: I think it looks sooo cute on you, love! {cackles}
Everyone: Eye of newt and tongue of frog,
Big nasty evil show your ugly mug!
Morgan: Pronto!
(A puff of pink smoke smelling of roses emerges from the cauldron. Out of it steps...)
Morgan: The big evil!
Big Evil: Yup, that's me. :-)
Hunter: Have you been using Morgan's magic?
Big Evil: Yup.
Hunter: {not sure what to say to that}
Big Evil: I'm sorry, I've been so rude. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ciaran and Selene's evil lovechild...Kevin. Hiya everybody!
Everyone: Hiya Kevin!
Hunter: Kevin? What sort of name is that for an evil -
Kevin: {snaps fingers}
Hunter: {explodes in shower of pink fluffy rose petals}
Morgan: Ooh...for me? They're so pretty! Thank you!
Raven: So why have you been making evil evil magick? I wouldn't mind, but me and Alisa were cast as a married couple in this one...a Christian married couple...
Kevin: {coughs} Yup, sorry about that...actually it's because of Alisa I put you through all this.
Morgan: WHAT?!
Kevin: Yeah, you're my favourite character Morgan.
Morgan: {blushes}
Kevin: Yup, and anyone who disses you must die! Especially Alisa. Did anyone mind?
Raven: Heck no!
Morgan: Um...if you just wanted to kill Alisa why didn't you just - kill Alisa?
Kevin: Because I am evil!
Morgan: Oh yeah...look, Dagda ate Alisa earlier. Can you just take the spell off now?
Kevin: Nope.
Morgan: Ah well.
Kevin: Can I just have a quick photo of my favourite character/half sister before I go? {takes out camera} {takes photo of Morgan}
Morgan: Right, THAT IS IT! I CAN'T STAND PUSHY FANS! GRAAAAH!
(CENSORED - needless to say Kevin dies. That's all you need to know. Honestly. Never mind the gory details. The rating would have to be put up.)
Morgan: AND I CAN'T STAND - HALF BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO JUST KEEP POPPING UP OUT OF NOWHERE! I MEAN WHAT, WAS CIARAN DEPRIVED OR SOMETHING?
Killian: {gulps and decides not to jump out on Morgan from the tree he was hiding behind} {runs away and sets up a cottage and coffee shop in Bosnia somewhere}
Morgan: AND ANOTHER THING - oh, he's dead.
Raven: Aww!
Morgan: Heeey, that felt good! Oh my goddess...could I actually...enjoy killing? Have I fallen to my dark Woodbane side? {sets Dagda on Sky} Yup, definitely!
Raven: Skyyyy!
Morgan: {spears Robbie with random plastic fork}
Raven: Mooooorgan!
Morgan: Heh heh heh...now for you, Raven, my psychopathic friend!
(Morgan has a brainwave and uses Kevin's spell. Raven is turned into Rachel and Morgan becomes Monica from Friends. They slap each other.)
Morgan: Ha! Ow!
(Uses spell again - Raven is Trinity. Morgan is Neo from Matrix.)
Morgan: Eww...I'm the evil one, how come I didn't get skintight black leather {pouts}.
Raven: Ha! Leather always wins!
(Both pull off some martial arts, The Oracle arrives randomly on the scene and Morgan - artistically, mind you, with plenty of special effects - rips his head off and feeds it to Dagda.)
Morgan: Ha! HA! Bet you didn't see THAT coming!
(Morgan uses the spell. This time, they are X-Men. Raven is Rogue. Morgan...)
Morgan: Yeurch! I'm Magneto! Ick ick ick! {uses powers} {catches Raven by the zips on her leather and flips her}. HAAAI-YA!!
(Morgan uses spell. Raven is Darth Vader. Morgan is Luke Skywalker.)
Raven: {breathes heavily} Morgan...I AM your father.
Morgan: Not another family secret! NO!
(They duel. Morgan trips Raven up with a lightsaber. It turns out this has the same effect as tripping up a Dalek, and Raven can't get up. Dagda jumps in and tries to eat her. Unsuccessful, he finds a can opener and then eats her.)
Morgan: Aw, what a resourceful psychopathic kitty! {realises there is nobody left} Great, how am I going to do a Wicca circle now?
(She walks off into the sunset, pouting and shooting witch fire at random objects to vent her feelings. Alisa, brought back by the several spells, is nearly hit.)
Alisa: {running up to Morgan} Ha! You did baaad magick! I'm telling Mary K!
Morgan: {prepares witch fire}
Alisa: {gulps}
Morgan: {takes aim}
Alisa: {runs backward, falls in ditch and breaks her neck}
Morgan: {looks in} Aw, someone always spoils my fun. There's nothing for it. I'll just HAVE to take over the world. But first... {grins} {activates spell} {prepares to kill Alisa over and over again as she rises from the grave}
THE END
Thank you for reading my first ever fanfic! Here are some random end-of-fanfic statistics (these cover all chapters):
Number of times Alisa died: 9
Number of people Dagda ate: 4
Number of times Morgan committed murder: 7
Number of times Raven committed murder: 4
Number of explosions: 4
Number of make-out scenes: 4
Number of spell parodies: 8
Number of deaths: 21
Random deaths in order: Alisa is crushed in mad dash to mirror, Bree trips over floorboard and bangs head, Raven stakes Hunter to prove her point {ahem, sorry about pun{, Hunter stakes Cal, a random anvil falls out of sky and for no reason falls on Alisa's head, Raven trips Alisa up so she impales herself on her own sword, Morgan falls in volcano, Hunter falls in after her, Cal falls in soon after, Morgan makes a magick flamethrower and toasts Alisa, Alisa is killed by explosion of One Ring, Alisa is killed by Morgan's "Hermione" afro as it explodes out, Hunter steps on Selene and squishes her, Raven trips Alisa up so she impales herself on her wand, TV explodes in Alisa's face, Morgan slices Bree in half with chainsaw and Dagda eats her, Kevin explodes Hunter in shower of rose petals, Morgan kills Kevin...somehow, Morgan sets Dagda on Sky, Morgan spears Robbie with plastic fork, Morgan rips the Oracle's head off and feeds it to Dagda, Dagda eats Raven, Alisa falls in ditch.
Thank You! :-D
Characters under The Simpsons spell!
Morgan - Marge
Hunter - Homer
Bree - Lisa
Robbie - Bart
Alisa - Maude Flanders
Raven - Ned Flanders
Sky - Ms Krabappel
Dagda - Snowball
Yet another Kithic Circle. Morgan is chained to her bed at home and forbidden to do any magic whatsoever - but...
Hunter: {coming out of the circle and realising something is wrong - very wrong} MORGAN! I - TOLD YOU! {summons up Morgan}
Morgan: Hunter, it wasn't me. Someone chained me to a bed, remember?
Sky: And damn sexy you looked too... {catches Raven's eye} Sorry! Sorry!
Hunter: So what are we now?
Bree: Well, let's see...we only have three fingers, we're all suddenly bright yellow and Morgan's hair has just turned blue and is now scraping plaster off the ceiling...
Morgan: What? {looks up} {hair is tipped behind her and knocks Alisa over, who has suddenly come back from the dead}
Alisa: {picking herself up} Mooorgan! I'm telling! That wasn't a very Christian to do!
Morgan: But we're Wiccan.
Alisa: {considers this new revelation}
Bree: I think we're Simpsons characters!
Robbie: The Simpsons? Cartoons? Ay carumba!
(Robbie takes a random skateboard which just happens to be lying about and rides through the window. He lands two storeys down unharmed and skates back through the doorway which just happens to be open.)
Robbie: Cool man!
Bree: Mmm...skateboarding REALLY turns me on!
Robbie: {leans in to kiss her}
Morgan: Stop! You're brother and sister!
Bree: {looks at Robbie} Nooo!
Hunter: Heh heh heh...but we're not, Morgan my love...
Morgan: No, but you're going bald and hugely obese. Strangely I don't feel like it.
Hunter: {bursts into tears} Well - well - I wouldn't kiss someone with blue hair anyway!
Morgan: {removes baseball bat from hair} {knocks Hunter out} No, but it does have its uses...{grins evilly} {everyone backs away}
Robbie: {pointing} Heey...a TV just appeared in the room!
(Everyone crowds round. Alisa leans extra close to read the words.)
Alisa: It's the credits...{leans closer} {TV suddenly explodes in her face}
Robbie: Oh great, now the TV's gone.
(Dagda walks in.)
Morgan: Oh hi, gorgeous!
Hunter: {waking up} Oh thanks love!
Morgan: Not you, dimwit! {hits him with baseball bat again}
Raven: Shouldn't that be my job?
Dagda: {hisses}
Bree: Hey, that's not the same kitty! He's all black and icky...
Morgan: Don't call Dagda icky! {pulls chainsaw out of hair}
Bree: {is sliced in half} Morgan, you are so immature!
Robbie: Oh, pull yourself together Bree!
(Bree glares. Both halves kick Robbie in...a very painful place...then she dies.)
Morgan: Dagda, who's a very hungry kitty?
Dagda: {meows}
(Dagda eats both halves of Bree's body. Then he eats Alisa's. He attempts to eat Hunter, but Hunter wakes up just in time.)
Hunter: Someone stop that cat!
Dagda: {jumps into Morgan's arms and glares}
Sky: How do we end this spell? It isn't Morgan, the Simpsons has no plot we can get to the end of, and no rules to break like in Buffy!
Hunter: We'll have to tackle the problem at its source...mmm...sauce...
Morgan: You mean the big evil that's been manipulating me? {shudders}
Sky: Or...we could just make out!
Raven: Gay sex? That's just dang-diddly un-Christian!
Sky: But we're Wiccan.
Raven: {considers this new revelation}
Sky: Pleeeease?
Raven: I can't, I'm married. {looks for Alisa, remembers a TV blew up in her face and she is now inside Dagda} Oh, okey-diddly-okily then!
Sky: I have no idea what you just said - but who cares?
(Raven and Sky make out. Aaah.)
Hunter: We still have to diddly - I mean, we still have to destroy the spell. Any ideas?
Morgan: Why don't you just call the big evil doing this?
Hunter: How? The Simpsons don't use magic!
Morgan: {sighs} The Simpsons are cartoons. We can do whatever we want. Just - pretend it's a Halloween special!
(Kithic gather at the power sink. They are all dressed in pointy hats, black robes, and are all cackling with manical laughter round a cauldron filled with a bubbling icky green liquid that looks like snot (the ones who are alive, obviously).)
Hunter (grumbling): Still don't see why we have to wear these stupid hats.
Morgan: I think it looks sooo cute on you, love! {cackles}
Everyone: Eye of newt and tongue of frog,
Big nasty evil show your ugly mug!
Morgan: Pronto!
(A puff of pink smoke smelling of roses emerges from the cauldron. Out of it steps...)
Morgan: The big evil!
Big Evil: Yup, that's me. :-)
Hunter: Have you been using Morgan's magic?
Big Evil: Yup.
Hunter: {not sure what to say to that}
Big Evil: I'm sorry, I've been so rude. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ciaran and Selene's evil lovechild...Kevin. Hiya everybody!
Everyone: Hiya Kevin!
Hunter: Kevin? What sort of name is that for an evil -
Kevin: {snaps fingers}
Hunter: {explodes in shower of pink fluffy rose petals}
Morgan: Ooh...for me? They're so pretty! Thank you!
Raven: So why have you been making evil evil magick? I wouldn't mind, but me and Alisa were cast as a married couple in this one...a Christian married couple...
Kevin: {coughs} Yup, sorry about that...actually it's because of Alisa I put you through all this.
Morgan: WHAT?!
Kevin: Yeah, you're my favourite character Morgan.
Morgan: {blushes}
Kevin: Yup, and anyone who disses you must die! Especially Alisa. Did anyone mind?
Raven: Heck no!
Morgan: Um...if you just wanted to kill Alisa why didn't you just - kill Alisa?
Kevin: Because I am evil!
Morgan: Oh yeah...look, Dagda ate Alisa earlier. Can you just take the spell off now?
Kevin: Nope.
Morgan: Ah well.
Kevin: Can I just have a quick photo of my favourite character/half sister before I go? {takes out camera} {takes photo of Morgan}
Morgan: Right, THAT IS IT! I CAN'T STAND PUSHY FANS! GRAAAAH!
(CENSORED - needless to say Kevin dies. That's all you need to know. Honestly. Never mind the gory details. The rating would have to be put up.)
Morgan: AND I CAN'T STAND - HALF BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO JUST KEEP POPPING UP OUT OF NOWHERE! I MEAN WHAT, WAS CIARAN DEPRIVED OR SOMETHING?
Killian: {gulps and decides not to jump out on Morgan from the tree he was hiding behind} {runs away and sets up a cottage and coffee shop in Bosnia somewhere}
Morgan: AND ANOTHER THING - oh, he's dead.
Raven: Aww!
Morgan: Heeey, that felt good! Oh my goddess...could I actually...enjoy killing? Have I fallen to my dark Woodbane side? {sets Dagda on Sky} Yup, definitely!
Raven: Skyyyy!
Morgan: {spears Robbie with random plastic fork}
Raven: Mooooorgan!
Morgan: Heh heh heh...now for you, Raven, my psychopathic friend!
(Morgan has a brainwave and uses Kevin's spell. Raven is turned into Rachel and Morgan becomes Monica from Friends. They slap each other.)
Morgan: Ha! Ow!
(Uses spell again - Raven is Trinity. Morgan is Neo from Matrix.)
Morgan: Eww...I'm the evil one, how come I didn't get skintight black leather {pouts}.
Raven: Ha! Leather always wins!
(Both pull off some martial arts, The Oracle arrives randomly on the scene and Morgan - artistically, mind you, with plenty of special effects - rips his head off and feeds it to Dagda.)
Morgan: Ha! HA! Bet you didn't see THAT coming!
(Morgan uses the spell. This time, they are X-Men. Raven is Rogue. Morgan...)
Morgan: Yeurch! I'm Magneto! Ick ick ick! {uses powers} {catches Raven by the zips on her leather and flips her}. HAAAI-YA!!
(Morgan uses spell. Raven is Darth Vader. Morgan is Luke Skywalker.)
Raven: {breathes heavily} Morgan...I AM your father.
Morgan: Not another family secret! NO!
(They duel. Morgan trips Raven up with a lightsaber. It turns out this has the same effect as tripping up a Dalek, and Raven can't get up. Dagda jumps in and tries to eat her. Unsuccessful, he finds a can opener and then eats her.)
Morgan: Aw, what a resourceful psychopathic kitty! {realises there is nobody left} Great, how am I going to do a Wicca circle now?
(She walks off into the sunset, pouting and shooting witch fire at random objects to vent her feelings. Alisa, brought back by the several spells, is nearly hit.)
Alisa: {running up to Morgan} Ha! You did baaad magick! I'm telling Mary K!
Morgan: {prepares witch fire}
Alisa: {gulps}
Morgan: {takes aim}
Alisa: {runs backward, falls in ditch and breaks her neck}
Morgan: {looks in} Aw, someone always spoils my fun. There's nothing for it. I'll just HAVE to take over the world. But first... {grins} {activates spell} {prepares to kill Alisa over and over again as she rises from the grave}
THE END
Thank you for reading my first ever fanfic! Here are some random end-of-fanfic statistics (these cover all chapters):
Number of times Alisa died: 9
Number of people Dagda ate: 4
Number of times Morgan committed murder: 7
Number of times Raven committed murder: 4
Number of explosions: 4
Number of make-out scenes: 4
Number of spell parodies: 8
Number of deaths: 21
Random deaths in order: Alisa is crushed in mad dash to mirror, Bree trips over floorboard and bangs head, Raven stakes Hunter to prove her point {ahem, sorry about pun{, Hunter stakes Cal, a random anvil falls out of sky and for no reason falls on Alisa's head, Raven trips Alisa up so she impales herself on her own sword, Morgan falls in volcano, Hunter falls in after her, Cal falls in soon after, Morgan makes a magick flamethrower and toasts Alisa, Alisa is killed by explosion of One Ring, Alisa is killed by Morgan's "Hermione" afro as it explodes out, Hunter steps on Selene and squishes her, Raven trips Alisa up so she impales herself on her wand, TV explodes in Alisa's face, Morgan slices Bree in half with chainsaw and Dagda eats her, Kevin explodes Hunter in shower of rose petals, Morgan kills Kevin...somehow, Morgan sets Dagda on Sky, Morgan spears Robbie with plastic fork, Morgan rips the Oracle's head off and feeds it to Dagda, Dagda eats Raven, Alisa falls in ditch.
Thank You! :-D