Naruto Primer: Neji and Rock Lee

The Greatest Prank

Rock Lee is a prankster at heart.  He can't help it when a situation so perfect arises itself so that he can get a laugh at it.  You see, while it thrills him to be a ninja, sometimes, it can get a little repetitive and boring so he has to spruce it up to keep it exciting at the downtimes.

Neji, on the other hand, is completely the opposite.  He doesn't have a funny bone in his body and would rather spend the downtime training, even if he gets bored.  Being put in the same group as Lee has proved to make their personalities clash. 

Usually, with Tenten there, she kept some sort of hold on both of them so that nothing would get out of hand.  But Tenten was on vacation today so it was only Lee and Neji.

"Hey Neji, guess what?" said Lee.

"What?" Neji asked.

"Tenten's on vacation." Lee replied.

"I knew that." Neji said.

"But what you DON'T know is where she's going."

"Why does it matter?"

"Because.  We might have some fun if we found out where she was going!"

"What do you mean?  What sort of fun could we possibly have if we found out where she was going?"

"We could prank her or something!"

"Prank her?"

Neji wasn't particularly familiar with this phrase.  He had heard it before but had never considered ever doing something with it.  He assumed it involved pulling a prank on someone.

Neji was completely right, of course.  Lee was planning to pull a prank on Tenten, but what sort of prank?  He would have to first find out where she was going so he could make the prank appropriate to the occasion.  For example, if she was going to the salon, he could paint her toenails a silly color so that all the people there could get a good laugh.

Mind you, Lee may be a prankster but he's not a very good one.

"So let's go!" said Lee as he grabbed Neji and ran off at fast Lee-like speed without his weights on.

Neji had considered trying to lighten up his personality a bit and try to make some friends.  He figured that this might be a good way to bond a little with his teammates, so he didn't protest.  Plus, he figured it might be a little "fun" to pull a prank on Tenten.

The two looked in the window of Tenten's room to see that she was putting her bathing suit and towel in a bag.

Lee grabbed Neji's arm and pulled him away from the window.  "She's going to the beach!" he said.

"I noticed." Neji replied.

"Okay…what sort of prank can we pull on her?" wondered Lee.

Wouldn't it be silly if Tenten arrived at the beach to find that someone had removed her towel from her bag?  No, no.  That could have potentially been mean because she wouldn't have anything to dry herself off with after she went swimming.  It would have to be something that would surprise and confuse her, but not ruin her time at the beach.

So he could always put something into the bag!  That way, she would be confused but still be able to go swimming.

"Hey, what is the least likely thing that someone would bring to a beach?" Lee asked Neji who was only sitting idly by.  "We could hide something in her bag for when she gets there."

Neji thought for a moment.  He had never been to the beach before, but he could imagine that animals would not be allowed there.  But it's not like they could sneak a live animal in her bag without her noticing that it was moving around.  Then a dead animal would be the way to go.  He didn't want to do anything that would frighten her, so the animal should be in the form of something that people see all the time.

But what kind of animal?  Neji had always been sort of fond of the flying type.  He didn't want to have to kill anything that flew though.  Well, what about something with wings that couldn't fly?  A penguin would be out of the question.  An ostrich was far too large.  Well, what about a chicken?  Or better yet, a turkey?

"How about a turkey?" he suggested.

"A turkey?" was Lee's only reaction.

He considered it.  Wouldn't it be hilarious if Tenten was at the beach setting up her beach chair and then, all of a sudden, there was a big roasted turkey sitting at the bottom of her bag?

"Sorry, I've never done this before…" Neji started.

"That's a great idea!!" Lee announced.  "That would be so funny if Tenten pulled a turkey out of her bag!"

"Where are we going to get a turkey, though?" Neji asked.  "He hadn't really considered something like that.

"At the grocery store." Said Lee as if it was THE most obvious thing in the world.

"You mean we're just going to buy a turkey and hide it in Tenten's bag?" Neji questioned.  "Turkeys aren't cheap."

"We must get a turkey." Said Lee.

"No, we can put something else in there." Neji said.

"Now we NEED a turkey." Lee said.  "How much money do you have?"

"Not enough." Neji replied.  "And even if I did, I wouldn't spend it on a turkey just so we can play a practical joke on someone for no reason.  Especially a stupid practical joke like this one."

"Maybe Tenten has a turkey." Said Lee.

"So now we're going to not only sneak into Tenten's house and steal a turkey from her, but we're going to put that turkey in her bag?"

"Yeah!" said Lee.  "It'll be great!  Use your Byakugan to see if Tenten has a turkey in her refrigerator."

Neji sighed.  First ants in the pants, now a turkey?  What would his amazing skill have to go through next?  Sometimes he wished he didn't have X-Ray vision.  But he used the Byakugan to look within Tenten's house and her refrigerator to, much to his surprise, see a turkey.

"Wow, she DOES have a turkey." Neji confessed.

"Ha!" said Lee.  "If you really didn't want to do this practical joke, you would have lied to me and told me that she didn't!  Let's go!"

Neji slapped his forehead.  He had forgotten about lying.

Lee was glad Neji had forgotten about lying because, while it would be great to put a turkey in Tenten's beach bag, he definitely didn't have enough money to squander foolishly like that.

So, as Tenten continued to pack her bag, Neji and Lee sneaked into her house and took the turkey out of her refrigerator.

They grabbed the turkey and ran as fast as they could out of the house.  Then, while they held the turkey triumphantly in their hands, it occurred to them that they really didn't have any sort of logical way of getting the turkey into her bag.

"Yes we do!" said Lee.  "Use your Byakugan to look at her bag and see if there's anything at the bottom of the bag that we could switch this turkey with!"

"How do you plan on doing that?" asked Neji.

"With the Kawarimi technique!!" Lee announced.

"That's only used to switch your body with another thing." Said Neji.

"But I'm sure it'll work with switching some other thing with another thing." Lee assured Neji.

"I don't think it works that way." Neji said.

"Let's at least try it!" Lee begged.  "Look in the bag and see if there's anything we can switch the turkey with."

"You know, you really wouldn't have been able to do this joke without me." Neji sighed as he used his Byakugan to look at the bag since Tenten was now outside and Neji and Lee were hiding in a tree.  "She has a key on the bottom of her bag.

"Switch it with that!!" Lee said.

"What if it's her house key?" Neji asked.

"We can leave it at her front door so she'll think she just dropped it." Lee said.

"What if I end up in the bag?"

"You won't."

"How about you just do it?  I don't want to."

"You know I can't do it, Neji."

"Oh right.  Sorry about that."

Even though Neji was afraid that there was the chance that he might end up switching places with the key in the bag, which would cause for a very awkward exchange between himself and Tenten, he also wanted to see the outcome of their prank.  So he concentrated on the key in her bag and then on the turkey.  Suddenly, there was a poof sound and he looked down to see the turkey missing and a key sitting there.

"IT WORKED!!!" cheered Lee. 

"Well who would imagine?" Neji said.

"Come on, let's go!" Lee said.

The two hurried off to go somewhere secret where they could laugh about it without being questioned about why they were laughing so that someone could potentially find out that it had been them who put the turkey in Tenten's bag.  At least, that's what Lee said.  Neji didn't find it particularly funny.  He was still waiting for something amusing to happen, but Lee was laughing.  Apparently he had missed something.

"She's probably pulling the turkey out of her bag right now!" laughed Lee.

"I don't get it." said Neji.  "What's the pun?  What's so funny about a turkey?"

"It's a turkey!" Lee said.  "At a beach!  Turkeys don't belong at beaches!  And she has one!  At a beach!  And it doesn't belong there!"

"Um…" said Neji.  "That's…not really funny."