Woo, new people reviewing! Hey new people! waves have a chocolate or something.... anyway, keep reading, this fic is going to last about another two or three chapters (including this one.) Unless I get a brand new idea and just go with it. Read and Review my lovelies. xXx ---
Rachel, Joey and Phoebe stood up from the bench they were sitting on as Chandler walked dejectedly towards them. Phoebe opened up her arms and hugged him, not completely sure what had happened between the two men. When Rachel looked over, she saw Richard bending down by the grave, and he appeared to be crying.
"Chandler, what's happened? Why have you got your suitcase? Are you running away?" Rachel asked, trying not to be nosy but feeling a little angry with him, for leaving her in the lurch. When Chandler looked up at her, tears falling down his face, she immediately felt sorry for him, and drew him into a hug too. He looked a little pathetic, holding his luggage, and Rachel pulled him gently in the direction of Ross' car. Luckily, Chandler followed her.
"Can we go home? Can we talk then?" he whispered in her ear. Phoebe and Joey followed them a few steps behind.
"Sure, honey," she said, kissing his cheek as they walked slowly along the path. She could see Ross leaning against the car, and he looked quite worried. "Let's get you home and we'll talk properly, okay?"
Chandler nodded, feeling suddenly very tired. He'd been awake since 2 o'clock that morning, having not wanted to fall asleep again after his dream with Monica in it, and all he wanted to do was sleep dreamlessly, although he doubted that he would be able to. He knew he needed to explain himself to Rachel and his friends, as they would be hurt that he had left without even saying goodbye, or leaving a note.
When they reached the car, Ross opened the door for the four friends, looking inquisitively at Rachel. She smiled weakly, and nodded, to show that at least they'd persuaded Chandler to come home, for now, at least.
---
"Cheating on you?"
Phoebe put her arm round Chandler, as Rachel brought her hand to her mouth in amazement.
"My god," Ross said quietly, before standing up and pacing up and down a little. "She was cheating on you? Monica was seeing Richard behind your back? And she didn't tell him?"
"Well, apparently not." Chandler shrugged. "I think I believe him. Why would he lie? He doesn't care what I think about him. I never have to see him again, and it's not as if I'm going to "send my crew" round to deal with him, is it?"
Phoebe nodded. "I don't think he was lying," she murmured, stroking Chandler's hand. Chandler nodded in agreement, letting his eyes close slowly, before they sprung open again. He sat up and looked at Phoebe. "Pheebs... please tell me you didn't know..." he said, looking into her eyes. She tried desperately to look away, but to no avail. Everywhere she looked, more eyes bored into hers, making her feel trapped.
"I'm sorry!" she burst out, jumping up from her seat. "But what was I supposed to do? I listened in on a phone conversation... completely by accident, and when I confronted Monica with it, she made me promise not to tell anyone. She reminded me how good she'd been to me, taking me in... and everything..."
"So that's why you weren't too sympathetic when she died," Rachel said, almost triumphantly. It had been bugging her for weeks. Why wasn't Phoebe amazingly distressed when Monica killed herself? Obviously she had got upset, if the incident from a couple of days before was anything to go by, but nothing like as much as the gang suspected, even though Phoebe was not always an open book.
Phoebe looked at Chandler. "I'm so sorry," she said, holding out her arms, but Chandler ignored them.
"Why didn't you tell me AFTER she'd died then?" he asked angrily.
Phoebe looked surprised. "I.... I didn't think..."
"No, you didn't, did you?" he spat, before walking off and into Rachel's bedroom. The door slammed resoundingly, and the other four friends jumped.
Joey, who had been silent for a little while, glared at Phoebe, anrgy at her for distressing Chandler, and went to get himself a beer. Ross followed suit, and Rachel tried her best to comfort Phoebe, though she too was annoyed with her.
Phoebe sat sobbing, distressed and angry with herself. Why hadn't she told Chandler? She could have made it sound more plausible if she had just told him when Monica died, or even when she left him in the first place, instead of causing him all the heartache of wondering whether she had died loving him. It had gnawed away at him, the fact that she had killed herself thinking there was no one for her. Maybe she had loved Chandler, in her own way, but Richard was the one her heart had really wanted. Richard was always going to have been number one in her eyes. And Chandler needn't have wasted the past couple of years thinking about what they could have had.
After a while, when no one had spoken, Phoebe breathed in deeply, got up and left the apartment. No one tried to stop her, and no one even looked at her. Rachel's arms had been hanging limply around her shoulders, and she barely noticed when her friend left.
Joey nodded at Rachel. "Are you okay?" he asked.
Rachel looked up at him, a confused expression on her face. "I just, I just can't believe she would do that. Lie to Chandler. They were so much in love. Maybe she felt guilty, that's why she was always all over him, she didn't want to show any cracks in their relationship... I just don't know."
"What about you and Chandler?" Ross asked, intrigued. Rachel shrugged sadly, and gazed at her bedroom door, which Chandler had disappeared into. She smiled slowly to herself, wondering what he was doing in there, and stood up herself.
"I'm going to go and see if he's okay," she said quietly. "You two might want to leave... go out and enjoy yourselves. I'll sort Chandler out."
"I bet you will," Joey said, grinning, and turned to Ross to share the joke, but was met with a frosty glare. Although Ross was not opposed to the "relationship" between his ex and his best friend, he still wasn't completely happy with it, especially as he wasn't even sure if anything had happened between them. He hated being in the dark.
Rachel smiled again. "Don't even think about it, Joe," she said, before giving Ross a weary smile. "Go to the coffee house or something. We'll join you later."
Ross nodded and grabbed his coat. "Emma's with the nanny," he informed her. "She'll be okay."
Rachel turned to go and see how Chandler was. She'd forgotten about Emma in all the drama, and felt a little guilty, but shook it off as she opened the door. She saw Chandler, sitting on her bed, staring at a photo that Rachel kept on her bedside table. All six friends were in it, Monica and Chandler crouching at the front, their arms around each other, Rachel and Ross standing behind slightly to the left, looking happy together, and Phoebe and Joey standing next to them, Joey with his hand on Phoebe's shoulder. It was when they were younger, when Ross and Rachel were the only couple, and Monica and Chandler were best friends. Rachel wondered what would have happened if it had stayed that way. Would Monica still be with them? Wiould she have run off with Richard, and left the other five anyway? Who could tell?
"Hey you," she said softly. Chandler jumped. He obviously hadn't heard her enter the room, and his face showed a picture of confusion and sadness.
"Hi," he replied, moving to let her sit with him. She smiled weakly, and moved to be nearer to him. She was so worried about him. All of a sudden he looked ten years older, and his worry lines seemed to be multiplying by the day.
"How are you feeling?" she asked. Stupid question really, she thought, annoyed with herself, but he looked up at her, smiling.
"I'm doing okay. I've been thinking about it, and, you know, it wasn't Phoebe's fault. She felt she owed it to Monica to keep her secret. She was better friends with her anyway. And, you know, all is not lost," he finished, as he took Rachel's hand in his own. "Things could have turned out worse. I could have married Monica, thought I was happy... and never realised I could have you in my life instead."
Rachel was touched. Chandler had never been that sweet before, except from when he had admitted a couple of nights ago that he loved her.
"Every cloud has a silver lining," she quoted, and he laughed, nodding in agreement.
"I guess it does. Rache... can you forgive me for running away?" he asked seriously. Rachel looked shocked that he was even asking.
"Of course I can," she scolded. "Chandler, we've been through a lot. Not many people go this far to show how much they care about someone. To show how much they love someone. And I understand that you're confused. But Chandler, please believe me... no matter how long it takes, I'll still be here for you. I'll still wait for you."
Chandler nodded, feeling the tears slowly approaching his eyes. "Thank you," he said, trying not to choke on his words. "That means a lot to me Rache. It's just... it's gonna take some time. For me to trust again. We'll have to take things slowly."
"That's fine," she whispered, kissing him gently on the lips, but as she pulled away he put his arms around her, pulling her in closer. Rachel realised at that point that she'd never cared for anyone as much as she cared for Chandler. Not even Ross, although she had cared deeply about him and had loved him once. But with Chandler, it was different. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. She wanted to look after him, help him through his troubled times, and help him come to terms with what he'd been through. She wanted the chance to love him.
When they eventually parted, Rachel noticed his eyes. They shone so brightly, and made him look so happy, and so peaceful.
"I love you," she whispered, his arms still around her.
He smiled. "I love you too," he whispered back. "And I always will. We've come this far... we'll make it."
I know, very soppy at the end, but I get the feeling it needed some... all this tension is driving me crazy! As this fic is drawing to a close, I'm going to start writing my next idea, based on something my friend went through. And I'm sorry but it's going to be C&M. I just think it fits them better, their personalities etc. I promise I will finish this one too. Please read and review! Lilian xXx