" Well. I couldn't sleep this night, so I thought I'd go outside to
smoke a cigarette, and then the door closed and I didn't want to wake you up,
so I stayed outside and then I fell asleep." "Mark, you should've
woke me up!! Now you have been lying for 6 or 7 hours in the cold. Thank God
it's not winter anymore. Next time you do such a thing, please wake me
up." And she helped me to get on my feet. Then she got me a blanket to get
a bit warmer. "We have to get to your parents today Mark. Just take a
quick shower and eat something so we can go in about 20 minutes." I ran to
the shower. My first shower in a couple of days. When I walked to the kitchen I
saw that Susan was baking some eggs for me. "You're so sweet," I said
and kissed her on the cheek. "Sorry Mark, but we have not much time,
please hurry up, "she said. Oh no, I have to go to my parents. I haven't
seen them in 6 months. They know I use. I am so fucking scared. What if they
tell it to her? I have to speak them alone before she meets them. But how can I
do that without making Susan suspicious? "Mark, Mark, are you
listening?" "I'm sorry girl, I was thinking about my parents." "Talking
about your parents, we have to go now!" We walked to the busstation and
took the bus to my parents house. When I got in the bus my whole body was
shaking like hell. Susan thought that I was really nervous and that that was
the reason I was shaking so much. I couldn't believe her, she's just too good
for this world. She let me sit down and she had to stand the whole fucking
trip, which is 45 minutes. There is a busstation on every corner of the street
so it takes a long time before you're on the other site of town. But she said
she couldn't care. There it was, the little house of my parents. I had bad
memories about it. My mum and dad were always whining about the drugs. It's the
same thing as with Begbie, it's my life and not theirs. Susan rang the bell and
my mum opened the door. "Mark, haven't seen you in a long time," she
said. "And who's your next victim?" "Mum, this is Susan." Susan
looked really angry to my mum. "Mum, I have to speak to you in private, is
that ok?" And my mum and I went to the kitchen.
"Look mum, I'm of the skag. Please don't talk about it with Susan, because
she has bad memories about the time I used, Ok?" My mum nodded. "And
please tell dad too." When mum and me walked back to the livingroom Susan
was sitting on the couch. She didn't look happy. My mum said to my dad that he
had to help her with the coffeemachine.
He scared the hell out of me, as he was lying there on the stairs of my
appartment. I really thought he was dead. His face was all white. And when he
was sitting in the bus his whole body was shaking. That is not normal I think. But
I'm not getting involved in it, because he is trusting me bit by bit. Well, we
went to his parents. I sat there for an hour and didn't say anything. I hated
his parents. They were so ... I dunno, they pretend if everything is alright,
when Mark has been slapped by his dad. That is not normal. I felt sorry for Mark.
He didn't had anyone, besides me. So when we were leaving his parents, I knew I
wanted to surprise him. He was shaking even worse. I said to him, that he
needed to go to the doctor, and he said he would make an appointment. I kissed
him goodbye when we walked to my house and he asked me if I would go to the pub
that weekend. "Well, Diane is coming Friday, today is Wednesday, so maybe
I can come Fridaynight." He smiled. "Finally a pub night with you
again." And he walked away.
I walked around the corner and took a deep breath. The past few hours I
couldn't think about anything else than getting a shot. And finally I could. I
walked to Mikey's house and bought some. I took the bus home. I closed the
door, took my shoes of, sat down on the carpet, and injected. And I felt so
relaxed. Like I almost disappeared into the ground. I heard some music on the
background. One of my favourites songs of Lou Reed, A perfect day. And what a
perfect day it was. My mum and dad didn't say anything to Susan and Susan didn't
ask anything. I couldn't move anymore. The only thing I could do was staring at
my ceiling. And slowly my eyes closed.
