Naruto Primer: All
Cooking
"This is the fourth event!" announced Gai. "Now, every team has won at least once…except for Team Kakashi." He cleared his throat a few times. "That means that if they don't win this event then they are eliminated from the rest of the competition.
"I'm counting on you guys." Said Kakashi.
"This event is simple; a cooking contest!" said Gai.
"Cooking?" said everyone.
"Yes." Said Gai. "You all have one hour to gather materials and then meet back here where we will begin. If you're not back by the end of one hour then you are disqualified. Whoever makes the tastiest dish will be declared the winner!"
"Keep in mind that each group is only allowed to have two members compete." Said Asuma. "So choose carefully. The third member will stay here. The same person cannot sit out twice, so that means that whoever sat out of the three-legged race MUST participate."
"I'm certainly not doing THIS event." Said Shikamaru.
"Did you NOT hear what Asuma JUST said?" said Ino in a dumbfounded tone.
"…I chose not to listen." Shikamaru confessed.
"You HAVE to." Ino said.
"Well I want to do this one!" said Chouji. "I'm pretty good at cooking."
"But I'm a girl." Said Ino. "I must cook."
"You two can be in this event." Said Shikamaru.
"No, you HAVE to be in it." Ino said, sounding annoyed.
"All right, me and Chouji then." Shikamaru sighed. "I've tasted Chouji's cooking before and it's better than yours, Ino."
"Well fine." Said Ino, looking offended.
Sakura called her group into a huddle. "Guys, I have this really great idea of how we'll be able to win this event since we have to and all." She said. "It pretty much involves one hundred percent from Sasuke. I'll go along too just because I thought of the plan."
"You just want to be alone with Sasuke!" said Naruto.
"No, it's just that I have the plan!" Sakura said. "Besides, I wasn't in the previous event so I have to be in this one!"
"Well how come you can't use me in the plan?" Naruto demanded.
"Because you don't have the Sharingan." Sakura replied.
"What's this plan anyway?" Sasuke decided to ask since it involved one hundred percent him and all.
"Here, let me explain…" Sakura said as the camera panned away and went to the next group.
"Well I have to be in this event…even though I can't really cook…" Lee said. "Man, I wish I was in the three-legged race event! We would have definitely won if I was in it!"
"I think we would have won as long as Neji wasn't in it." said Tenten in a resentful tone.
"It wasn't ALL me." Said Neji.
"So who's going to sit out THIS one?!" said Lee since he was SO very happy to be alive.
"Let's let Neji sit out this one." Said Tenten, crossing her arms.
"Fine, I want to be in a REAL event anyway." Neji said in response.
As for the Hinata, Shino and Kiba group…
"Well, I HAVE to be in this one…" said Hinata.
"I can't cook." Said Kiba. "I just can't do it. At all. Trust me, I could burn salad if given the opportunity. Ask Akamaru if you don't believe me." Akamaru started whining.
"It's okay, we believe you." Said Shino. "It doesn't matter to me."
"I can cook just fine." Said Hinata. "So you can just help me gather supplies. It'll be like Supermarket Sweep!"
"I love that show!!!" said Kiba even though he might have very well not even seen it.
"Me too!" said Hinata excitedly. "Let's go!! Oh wait, it's me and Shino. You have to stay here, Kiba. Shino, do you like Supermarket Sweep?"
Shino shrugged.
"All right, the hour time limit starts NOW!!" Gai yelled as all the teachers synchronized their watches.
With that, the groups of two split up to get supplies. Kiba, Neji, Naruto and Ino all stood there and watched them go. "We have an hour to kill before they get back." Said Neji.
"My team as the stupidest plan in the world." Said Naruto angrily.
Neji was still feeling a bit perturbed about his performance in the three-legged race. He was also angry because Tenten wasn't accepting any of the blame.
"I'm the only girl not participating in this event!" whined Ino as if that sort of thing REALLY mattered.
Meanwhile, Hinata and Shino had made it to the supermarket and decided that they were going to make a cake and was now looking at the side of the box. "All right, the recipe says that we need eggs, milk and frosting. We're also going to need a pan and utensils." She paused and looked over the list. "You ready Shino? We have thirty seconds to find the eggs, milk, frosting, a pan, a mixing bowl, a stirring utensil and a frosting utensil! Let's go!"
With that, she sprinted off down the isles, playing Supermarket Sweep. Shino shrugged again and just…sauntered off.
Other groups weren't having NEARLY as much fun as Hinata.
"Okay Sasuke, you sit here and watch this entire episode while I go out and get the stuff." Said Sakura, changing the channel to the cooking channel. "You remember the plan, right?"
"Yeah…" said Sasuke. "This is so lame."
"We have to win or we'll be eliminated!" Sakura reminded him.
"I know…" Sasuke said as he used his Sharingan on the crazy cooking guy as Sakura dashed out the door.
Shikamaru and Chouji, meanwhile, had just gone on back to Chouji's house. "We're going to make the BEST dish by far!" said Chouji as he went into his huge pantry.
"I believe in you, Chouji." Said Shikamaru as he sat down in Chouji's kitchen, which was DOWNSTAIRS.
"But what should we make?" Chouji wondered aloud.
"You can decide." Shikamaru said, putting his head down on the table. He had an hour.
Finally, Tenten and Lee were at the 'Specialty Cake Store'. "We could make the best cake ever…" said Tenten as she looked at the shelves at the store.
"Why make one?" said Lee as he looked at all the cakes that were pre-made and pre-frosted. "We could just buy one and fool them into thinking that we made it!"
Tenten came over to where Lee was standing. "You know what?" she said. "That's a really good idea." She said. "We could just buy all the stuff and hide the REAL cake in the oven. We'll put in the stuff and then take out the real cake! Great idea, Lee!"
"Let's personalize it too!!" Lee said excitedly. "It can say, 'Gai Rules!!'"
"Yeah!" said Tenten as the two of them punched the air.
An hour later…
"Well, thankfully everyone made it back here within the time limit so no one is eliminated!!" cheered Gai, throwing his arms up in the air and wiggling his fingers crazily. "So when I give the word, you all start cooking!!"
He paused, waiting for just the right moment.
"GO!!!" he yelled finally.
With that, everyone immediately began furiously cooking.
"Our cake is going to come out so deliciously!" said Hinata to Kiba since the third member of the team was allowed to watch, but not help. "Because we found all the stuff in under thirty seconds each!"
"I wish I could help you guys!" said Kiba.
"That's okay!" said Hinata. "We're going to play Iron Chef and you can pretend to be the audience!"
"All right!" said Kiba.
"…Whatever…" said Shino.
Sasuke, meanwhile, was putting on a grand show that all the teachers couldn't help but stand around and watch. Sakura's job was mainly to just preheat the oven, grease the pan, boil some water and then hand all the stuff to Sasuke as he called for them.
The teachers all oohed and ahhed when he chopped up the carrots and threw them up in the air, having them land in a perfect line.
"Wow, I had no idea you were such a great cook." Said Kakashi, looking awfully skeptical.
"There's a lot of stuff you don't know about me." Said Sasuke as he peeled a potato all in one peel in under ten seconds.
"This plan is so stupid…" Naruto said.
"Hey, we're doing great!" said Sakura to Naruto. "How can you say this plan is stupid?!" Naruto only scoffed.
Chouji was cooking as well, though most certainly not as impressively as Sasuke was. His dish of choice was a loving stir-fry.
"What are you making, Chouji?" asked Shikamaru who was only sitting idly by and watching.
"Here, cut this broccoli." Said Chouji.
"I don't like broccoli." Said Shikamaru. "It shouldn't be in our meal."
"It has to be!" said Ino since she was watching as well.
"I refuse to cut the broccoli." Shikamaru said.
"Then cut the chicken, I'LL cut the broccoli." Said Chouji.
"I don't want to cut the chicken either." Shikamaru said.
"Don't bother with him, Chouji!" sighed Ino. "You're not going to get any help from the mighty chuunin!"
"That's for sure." Said Shikamaru AND Chouji at the same time.
Lee and Tenten were discretely trying to put their pre-made cake in the oven. "Remember not to turn it on." whispered Tenten as she mixed random stuff in a bowl and Lee slipped the cake in the oven.
"I know that!" said Lee, offended that she thought he was so stupid. That's when Neji walked over because he had been tying his shoe.
"What are you guys making?" he asked.
"A cake!" said Tenten as she put some salt in the mixture.
Neji stood there for a minute. "A salty cake?" he asked.
"Yes." Tenten said.
"I don't think that'll taste very good." Neji said.
"Look, Neji, I've been making cakes since I was a kid so I know how to make them." Tenten assured him. "How many cakes have YOU made before?"
"…None…" Neji confessed.
"Okay then." Tenten said as she put some soy sauce into the cake without even bothering to look at what it was. "So leave me to my work."
"Yeah Neji, go away!" said Lee. "You'll mess up our cake just like you messed up the three-legged race and that birthmark question!"
"Why are you guys ganging up on me all of a sudden?" Neji asked, looking genuinely hurt. "Have you already forgotten that it was practically all me that won us the triathlon?"
"Neji, just go away for a little while." Said Tenten. "We're trying to win a cooking contest here."
"How come I can't watch?" Neji asked.
"BECAUSE!!!" yelled Tenten and Lee.
Approximately…er…a little while later…
"Okay everyone, place your dishes on the table in front of you so that we may taste your food!" said Kurenai since she hasn't said anything in this whole chapter yet.
First, they went to Hinata and Shino's cake. It wasn't UGLY, it just wasn't the prettiest thing they had ever seen. But that didn't mean that it couldn't be delicious none the less!
"I guess we'll just cut ourselves a slice…" said Asuma as he took an unnecessarily large knife out and cut a slice. He was just about to take a bite almost as big as the huge knife he had when he caught sight of a small black thing in the cake. "Err…does this cake have chocolate chips in it?"
"Um…no?" Hinata said.
"Ew, it's moving!" said Kurenai.
"That is a bug." Said Kakashi.
"They're all over the cake!" Gai said.
"Throw it away!" said Kurenai. "This cake is not edible. Sorry."
With that, they moved on to the next table.
"Oh Shino, why didn't you tell me that some of your bugs fell into the cake batter?" asked Hinata.
"I didn't notice." He said with a shrug. "It's a shame…"
"Yeah, we lost." Said Kiba angrily.
"No, I don't mind losing all that much." Said Shino. "It's just that… so many lives were lost…"
The teachers were now at Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura. Before them was a huge three-course dinner complete with soups, salads, main dishes, deserts AND beverages!
"Wow, not only could this feed a third world country but we got a neat show!" said Gai.
"The question is, however, does it taste good?" said Kurenai since she was, once again, bitter that her team was eliminated.
The three of them sat around and began eating as Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura stood by and watched nervously, hoping that it wouldn't occur to the teachers that Sasuke had used the Sharingan to copy the moves of a professional cook on the television and then used those moves to have mad cooking skills. So they ate and ate and ate and couldn't stop eating!! They actually go to the point of exploding, but stopped right before it happened, thankfully.
"Well, that was exquisite." Said Asuma, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
"It's going to be hard to follow up that act!" said Kakashi as the teachers moved onto Shikamaru and Chouji. They knew that they couldn't compare with a full meal with only a dish of stir-fry.
The teachers tasted the stir-fry and found it to be scrumptious. However, it was not up to par with Sasuke's amazing dish.
"Well, we tried our best." Said Ino with a shrug. "Except for Shikamaru. He didn't do anything as usual."
"Aw man…" said Chouji sadly.
"Don't worry, there's still another event we can win." Said Shikamaru. "I'll redeem myself again there…vicariously through you guys."
"No, you have to be in that one too." Ino said. "It'll be you and me."
"That's so troublesome…" said Shikamaru with a sigh.
The teachers moved on to Tenten and Lee who were standing with huge smiles plastered on their faces with their beautiful store bought cake on the table in front of them.
"I hope you guys don't think that we didn't see you put this store bought cake in the oven." Said Kurenai.
"I'm so ashamed!" said Gai as he looked like he was going to start crying. And then he did.
"What do you mean?" said Tenten. "We MADE this cake! See? It's personalized and everything!"
"You can easily get a cake personalized at a store." Said Kakashi.
"Plus, I can see the bowl of batter right there behind the table." Said Kurenai, pointing at the bowl.
"And your oven isn't even plugged in." said Kurenai.
"And I don't even see any frosting containers around." Asuma continued.
"Okay, okay!" said Lee. "We admit it! We bought this cake! We're sorry!"
"Neji, why didn't you stop them?" Gai demanded.
"I didn't know." He said. "I thought they just made a really awesome cake."
"So it's a competition between the stir-fry and this huge, extremely delicious meal." Said Asuma. "I think I'm going to go with the stir-fry."
"No." said Kurenai. "While the stir-fry was delectable and made with love, I still found the huge meal made by Sasuke and Sakura was better."
"I agree." Said Kakashi.
"I like the store bought cake." Said Gai as he took a big bite. "It's very yummy!"
"But they didn't make it." Kurenai said. "You all are just favoring your own team! I'm the only one NOT doing so!"
"That's because your students had bugs in their cake and it would be ludicrous to say that it was the best." Said Asuma.
"It doesn't matter anyway because there are two votes for the huge meal." Said Kakashi.
"So Team Kakashi is the winner!!" said Gai as he pulled a confetti ball out and blew it up.
"YAY!!" cheered Team Kakashi as they threw their arms up in the air as a declaration of happiness. "WE'RE NOT DISQUALIFIED!!"
"I still think the idea was stupid though." Said Naruto.
"Shut up Naruto." Said Sasuke and Sakura.