An ER fan fiction by AbCaLuDa
Chapter 3
Carter shipped most of Barbara's things to Chicago, keeping only a few of Bella's toys and necessities to take back on the plane. He hesitated when it was time to leave the apartment and took Bella through the rooms one last time. I waited by the door, trying not to cry, knowing he needed me to be strong for him, so he wouldn't cry.
He held Bella against his chest with one hand and reached for my hand with his other. He laced his fingers in mine and squeezed gently. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. I understood what he was trying to say without words.
We climbed into the cab and still he said nothing. I just held his hand and watched the scenery go by. This whole experience felt surreal, like I was merely watching the events of someone else's life. I could only imagine what Carter was feeling.
Losing his grandmother had been hard enough. Now his mother and his sister too. We should get to Chicago only hours before his mother's funeral, and if we miss a connection or if one of the flights falls behind, he could miss it. A small part of me thinks that might be a good thing, like divine intervention, because I don't know how much more of this he can take. .
The baby is fussing when we get on he plane. One of the flight attendants asks if she can help. The way she's looking at us, she thinks it's our baby. I think everyone must naturally assume that. I just smile at them and let them believe it.
I try to sleep as much as I can on the plane. Carter isn't in the mood to talk, so I leave him to his silence. He' has a lot on his mind. I wonder if he's thinking about how different his life is going to be with Bella.
I dream about how much I want to be a part of their lives. I want to be there when Bella is a little older, waiting for her when she gets off school. Maybe there will be another baby by then.
* * * * * * * *
"Why don't you leave Bella with me, we'll wait right here for you," I suggest after we get our bags at the airport in Chicago.
He shakes his head. "I'd rather keep her with me."
"Then I'm going too." We walk in silence to the car. He struggles with the seat belt and Bella's car seat, but he finally gets it.
He turns the radio on an easy listening station and turns it down low. He doesn't say anything and I don't know what to say so we drive in silence. After a few minutes I lean back and close my eyes.
The next thing I know the car has stopped and I sit up. Wal-Mart? I squint at the neon sign.
He glances at Bella in the back seat. Sound asleep. Drooling all over herself.
"I have to get her some formula," he says softly. "Do you need anything?"
I shake my head. "I'll just stay with her." I know he wants to take her with him, or he wants me to offer to go in and get the milk. "Do you want me…"
He shakes his head. "I'll get it. I won't be long."
I watch him go and I wonder, not for the first time, what is going on in his mind. What must he be thinking? Does he have any idea how this baby is going to change his life?
He isn't gone but ten minutes. He looks like some homeless person as he walks back to the car. His hair is rumpled, his clothes wrinkled.
"Do you want me to take you home? Because I thought you could come back to the house with us…"
I nod. "Okay."
He doesn't say anything else, and the next thing I know, we're in the garage at the Carter family mansion. His mansion, I correct myself. It's all his now. His grandmother left his father a sizeable trust fund, and everything else is Carter's. Barbara got nothing in the will, and everything she had is Carter's too.
I get our bags out of the back and stand by the car waiting for him to get Bella out. This is how it should be. How sweet to think we have just gotten home from vacation in Switzerland.
He walks like he can barely keep his head up. I know he's tired. He'd probably sleep for a week straight if he could. That would be sweet too. A week in bed, in his arms…I could deal with that.
He puts Bella's seat on the kitchen table and starts fixing her a bottle. She's awake and watching him, not making a sound. His silence bothers me. On one hand I don't want him to talk, because I'm not good with other people's emotions. On the other hand I want him to talk because I know it's important for him to get all the crazy, mixed up feelings he's feeling out in the open.
I sit down at the table beside Bella. The kitchen is huge. It reminds me of a restaurant or an institution.
Carter fixes the bottle, takes Bella out of the seat, and walks away without a word to me. I sit there for a few minutes, because I'm not sure if I should follow him. But I finally get up and go into the other room/.
This house is amazing. It looks like no one lives in it. Like no one *could* live in it. Not a thing out of place. Of course there are maids and butlers and gardeners and a slew of other servants to keep everything in order. I wonder if Carter will keep them on, or let them go now that his grandmother is gone.
He's sitting on the couch with the baby. She's pushing her little fists against him, refusing the bottle again.
"She might need some time to settle down after flying for so long."
"She hasn't eaten since before we left Switzerland."
"She's fine, Carter. You know that. She doesn't have to eat every four hours. She'll eat later."
He nods and looks at me. Tears spill over his eyes, and he closes them. "I just feel like she's all I have."
"I know. I know, Carter." I sit beside him and put my arms around him. Our foreheads touch. "It's going to be okay. It will get better."
He nods. "I know. I just doesn't feel like it right now."
"Do you think she'll take another nap? We should try to get some sleep…"
He looks at his watch and shakes his head. "We have to meet my father in two hours."
"He doesn't know about Bella, does he?" I reach out and stroke the crown of her head.
"No. I don't know what he'll say. He won't make a scene at the cemetery."
"Good."
He looks down at Bella, and I can almost see the wheels turning in his head. I'm almost afraid to move or make a sound.
"Thank you, Abby," he says softly.
"For what?" I gnaw on my bottom lip.
"For everything. For being with me."
"I wouldn't be anywhere else, Carter. I hope you know that."
"I do." He leans forward just a little, and I instinctively tilt my head back to accept his kiss.
* * * * * * * *
Please use the review button, it's there for a reason. And please, please, please tell me if you have any title suggestions. I am totally blocked on the title for this one. I just can't seem to find anything that fits just right…Maybe one of you can think of something??? Please! And don't forget to let me know what you think of the story too! Thanks so much for reading!
Chapter 3
Carter shipped most of Barbara's things to Chicago, keeping only a few of Bella's toys and necessities to take back on the plane. He hesitated when it was time to leave the apartment and took Bella through the rooms one last time. I waited by the door, trying not to cry, knowing he needed me to be strong for him, so he wouldn't cry.
He held Bella against his chest with one hand and reached for my hand with his other. He laced his fingers in mine and squeezed gently. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. I understood what he was trying to say without words.
We climbed into the cab and still he said nothing. I just held his hand and watched the scenery go by. This whole experience felt surreal, like I was merely watching the events of someone else's life. I could only imagine what Carter was feeling.
Losing his grandmother had been hard enough. Now his mother and his sister too. We should get to Chicago only hours before his mother's funeral, and if we miss a connection or if one of the flights falls behind, he could miss it. A small part of me thinks that might be a good thing, like divine intervention, because I don't know how much more of this he can take. .
The baby is fussing when we get on he plane. One of the flight attendants asks if she can help. The way she's looking at us, she thinks it's our baby. I think everyone must naturally assume that. I just smile at them and let them believe it.
I try to sleep as much as I can on the plane. Carter isn't in the mood to talk, so I leave him to his silence. He' has a lot on his mind. I wonder if he's thinking about how different his life is going to be with Bella.
I dream about how much I want to be a part of their lives. I want to be there when Bella is a little older, waiting for her when she gets off school. Maybe there will be another baby by then.
* * * * * * * *
"Why don't you leave Bella with me, we'll wait right here for you," I suggest after we get our bags at the airport in Chicago.
He shakes his head. "I'd rather keep her with me."
"Then I'm going too." We walk in silence to the car. He struggles with the seat belt and Bella's car seat, but he finally gets it.
He turns the radio on an easy listening station and turns it down low. He doesn't say anything and I don't know what to say so we drive in silence. After a few minutes I lean back and close my eyes.
The next thing I know the car has stopped and I sit up. Wal-Mart? I squint at the neon sign.
He glances at Bella in the back seat. Sound asleep. Drooling all over herself.
"I have to get her some formula," he says softly. "Do you need anything?"
I shake my head. "I'll just stay with her." I know he wants to take her with him, or he wants me to offer to go in and get the milk. "Do you want me…"
He shakes his head. "I'll get it. I won't be long."
I watch him go and I wonder, not for the first time, what is going on in his mind. What must he be thinking? Does he have any idea how this baby is going to change his life?
He isn't gone but ten minutes. He looks like some homeless person as he walks back to the car. His hair is rumpled, his clothes wrinkled.
"Do you want me to take you home? Because I thought you could come back to the house with us…"
I nod. "Okay."
He doesn't say anything else, and the next thing I know, we're in the garage at the Carter family mansion. His mansion, I correct myself. It's all his now. His grandmother left his father a sizeable trust fund, and everything else is Carter's. Barbara got nothing in the will, and everything she had is Carter's too.
I get our bags out of the back and stand by the car waiting for him to get Bella out. This is how it should be. How sweet to think we have just gotten home from vacation in Switzerland.
He walks like he can barely keep his head up. I know he's tired. He'd probably sleep for a week straight if he could. That would be sweet too. A week in bed, in his arms…I could deal with that.
He puts Bella's seat on the kitchen table and starts fixing her a bottle. She's awake and watching him, not making a sound. His silence bothers me. On one hand I don't want him to talk, because I'm not good with other people's emotions. On the other hand I want him to talk because I know it's important for him to get all the crazy, mixed up feelings he's feeling out in the open.
I sit down at the table beside Bella. The kitchen is huge. It reminds me of a restaurant or an institution.
Carter fixes the bottle, takes Bella out of the seat, and walks away without a word to me. I sit there for a few minutes, because I'm not sure if I should follow him. But I finally get up and go into the other room/.
This house is amazing. It looks like no one lives in it. Like no one *could* live in it. Not a thing out of place. Of course there are maids and butlers and gardeners and a slew of other servants to keep everything in order. I wonder if Carter will keep them on, or let them go now that his grandmother is gone.
He's sitting on the couch with the baby. She's pushing her little fists against him, refusing the bottle again.
"She might need some time to settle down after flying for so long."
"She hasn't eaten since before we left Switzerland."
"She's fine, Carter. You know that. She doesn't have to eat every four hours. She'll eat later."
He nods and looks at me. Tears spill over his eyes, and he closes them. "I just feel like she's all I have."
"I know. I know, Carter." I sit beside him and put my arms around him. Our foreheads touch. "It's going to be okay. It will get better."
He nods. "I know. I just doesn't feel like it right now."
"Do you think she'll take another nap? We should try to get some sleep…"
He looks at his watch and shakes his head. "We have to meet my father in two hours."
"He doesn't know about Bella, does he?" I reach out and stroke the crown of her head.
"No. I don't know what he'll say. He won't make a scene at the cemetery."
"Good."
He looks down at Bella, and I can almost see the wheels turning in his head. I'm almost afraid to move or make a sound.
"Thank you, Abby," he says softly.
"For what?" I gnaw on my bottom lip.
"For everything. For being with me."
"I wouldn't be anywhere else, Carter. I hope you know that."
"I do." He leans forward just a little, and I instinctively tilt my head back to accept his kiss.
* * * * * * * *
Please use the review button, it's there for a reason. And please, please, please tell me if you have any title suggestions. I am totally blocked on the title for this one. I just can't seem to find anything that fits just right…Maybe one of you can think of something??? Please! And don't forget to let me know what you think of the story too! Thanks so much for reading!