Oh God I think I'm falling...
No, I know I've fallen. It's scary, and breathtaking, and gives me this icy feeling deep inside of me, but I know it's true. I'm done—gone, waving goodbye, I've fallen long ago. And every time those eyes meet mine, every time that voice reaches my ears, every time those hands grace my skin, I know I'm falling even more. When will I reach the bottom? Perhaps I already have, perhaps I'm merely being dramatic, and perhaps I'm being repetitive. Whatever it is, I know that I'm gone, so far gone, and even if I wanted to I couldn't come back. It's done—the deal's closed. I'm gone.
And how I wish I wasn't gone—how I wish I could somehow come back to the person I used to be. So I haven't changed that much, but I've become somewhat more—mature? I don't know...all I know is that these feelings that I'm having aren't my usual feelings. They aren't things I've ever felt before, yet they are the feelings sixteen year old girls are supposed to have. Lust, love, passion, desire? And all these things have come over me for one reason and one reason alone.
Chris Chambers.
Damn him.
And his smile...
And that smirk.
And his...body.
And his laugh...and the way he always freaking CARES.
And his beautiful eyes.
And that fucking amazing, fly away, UNKEMPT hair of his.
Damn him.
~*~*~
It was warm inside my house—the cold was dancing around in the frosty snow and I was thankful when Chris and I dropped Gordie off at his house—he had to go call 'someone' though no names were mentioned—and decided to get some hot chocolate. I hung Chris' coat and mine on the coat rack just beside the front door, and immediately the most delicious smell could be met to my nostrils and I immediately led the way to the kitchen.
"Something smells GOOD," Chris commented, grinning softly. I laughed.
"I bet my mom's baking again..."
And indeed my mother was just setting some freshly baked cookies on the table, beside surprise-surprise a hot apple pie and brownies. I swear, it was like my mother's goddamn purpose and refuge in life to make all her offspring fat and unhealthy, yet oddly satisfied with baked goods that were SO DAMN GOOD.
Danny was seated at the table currently stuffing as many baked goods into his body, while attempting to scribble some homework away. I had no idea where my other siblings were, but Teeny was seated in her seat coloring a picture. When we entered the kitchen my mom looked up and smiled happily.
"Hello you two," she set pleasantly. "Why don't you guys have a snack? Just baked these!"
Chris smiled and took a cookie happily. "Thanks Mrs. O'Reilly. They smell great."
I rolled my eyes but grinned all the same as I grabbed a few cookies. I had to admit—the woman could bake. Damn well. Sometimes I really did like my mom—she was one of the few people who didn't look down upon Chris.
"What are you guys up to today?" Danny asked, shoving yet another brownie into his mouth. I really did envy boy's metabolisms. They could eat and eat and eat, and still stay lanky and tall. Well, at least all the guys I knew could. Grr.
I shrugged, starting to pour Chris and I glasses of milk from the fridge. "We went sledding in the park with Gordie—right never again. Little kids are so mean these days."
Chris snorted and popped another cookie in his mouth, taking his glass of milk from me. He gave me a mischievous look and I couldn't help but blush slightly, hating how I was so vulnerable under his gaze. I coughed immediately, not wanting my brother or mom to notice anything—can you say embarrassing enough? But it seemed Danny was much more interested in the baked goods than his little sister's boyfriend. And my mom was already stirring a new cake mix up. I decided this was a good time to get away.
"Well, we'll be upstairs," I said, grabbing a plate of cookies. "If you need something just holler."
My mom nodded and smiled pleasantly, Danny grinned through a mouthful of cookie and Teeny waved her little hand at me. I quickly exited the kitchen, rather to be alone with Chris than anything else. I smirked as we ascended the stairs. "My mom is a bake freak—did you see all the shit she was baking?"
Chris nodded happily, munching on a cookie. "I don't mind, not at all. My mom NEVER bakes...damn these cookies are good!" I laughed as he reached for another cookie. The boy could eat. We made our way into my bedroom and I gently closed my door, loving the feeling of warmth and serenity. It was so calming, so beautiful, so...peaceful. I wanted to stay in my room forever with Chris—besides for the obvious reasons—but just because it felt so damn...right. It was scary and kind of corny, but all the same it was this amazing, fleeting feeling in my stomach that I couldn't help but want to have every waking hour, every single fucking day of my life.
"You're doing it again."
I looked up distractedly at Chris as I sat on my bed, opposite of him. I quirked an eyebrow. "Doing what ?" I hated that—I hated how he always pointed those things out that I did, my little quirks, yet at the same time I loved it. I loved knowing that he noticed me—noticed ANYTHING about me, whether it be my nervous habits or annoying traits, whatever it was, Chris noticed me and that was worth the whole fucking world. Worth everything. Pretty damn pathetic...
"You're staring again," Chris pointed out. "You look like you're thinking hard. You do it a lot."
I frowned, munching on a cookie absentmindedly. "Is there something wrong with thinking?"
Chris shrugged, grinning at me. "Nope. It's just—you do it a lot." I sighed. I couldn't help it—I couldn't help zoning out ever few minutes...my mind was like a TV buzzing, flipping through channels 100 miles per second. I had so much to think about that it actually hurt my head and I was exhausted. But what WASN'T there to think about? When didn't I think about Chris? When didn't I feel all angsty? When didn't I contemplate my life in my mind? Let's just say, I did it way to often.
Chris stretched his arms over his head and lay back on my bed—a look of pure content on his face. He closed his eyes and suddenly looked so angelic I wanted to kiss him forever. I had this weakness for guys asleep. There was just something so deep, so moving, so sexy about sleeping guys. I don't know why, but I've always felt that way. And the way Chris' eyes gently fluttered and the steady breathing pattern made my heart skip several beats—something I'd grown accustomed to over the past months.
"How do you do it?" I asked, looking down at him curiously. He opened his eyes and grinned gently.
"Do what?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows. I sighed and took another bite of my cookie, but suddenly the taste was nothing, my mouth was numb. It was like—when I was with Chris, or when I thought about him, everything became numb besides that fluttering feeling deep inside me. I was no longer hungry, I was no longer tired, I no longer breathed, it was like I wasn't even living. When Chris was with me, it was like that was the only thing worth anything anymore; I had no other desire than him. It was the most beautiful feeling that I've ever felt in my whole entire life, something I'd cherish for years to come.
"How do you make it so it's so easy to..." I trailed off, hoping I didn't sound too corny and pathetic. "to fall for you?"
Chris was silent and looked deeply at me. His eyes grew serious, not a serous-angry, more of a less playful and sincere kind of look, showing me he cared and wasn't going to laugh off my feelings. He was just so good. I looked down at him but quickly looked away—suddenly self conscious. I didn't want to get all deep on him, but I couldn't help but want him to know just how much I cared for him without scaring him off. I couldn't help it—I was drawn to his enigmatic presence.
"I mean," I continued for the hell of it. I was throwing my pride out the window. "it's like inevitable. I can't help it. Damn you," I added, sighing but smiling faintly all the same way. He grinned at me and reached his hand up to stroke my cheek. "You know Chris, that night you came to my room and you were so wet and cold and tired and hurt...all I wanted to do was take care of you and make sure you were okay. I was scared and hurt and angry, but I knew I wanted to make it all right for you."
Chris sat up and looked deeply into my eyes, so deeply I thought he'd fall into me. How I loved that stare and hated it all at the same time—how I knew I was so powerless under those eyes, under him. He was so close to me I was having trouble breathing, his body was against mine, the feeling was all too much, I wanted him, I needed him.
"Lark," he said, his voice causing me to tremble slightly. "that night when we were together, even though it wasn't the first time I was with a girl like that...it was like the first time. It was like it meant something—it wasn't just a one night kind of thing." Chris snickered despite himself. "That sounded quite lame indeed. I apologize for my corniness."
I smirked while I was floating on cloud nine. "Your corniness amuses me." He grinned and kissed me, a kiss that literally took my breath away. And I'm not kidding—I had to breathe through my nose. He gently ran his hand through my hair and leaned me back against my bed, covering my body with his. My whole body was tingling as he continued to kiss me, growing more passionately as he explored my mouth with his tongue. He pulled away after a few moments, and looked down at me. I felt his chest lift up and down upon my chest as he breathed, a few strands of his hair falling into his eyes as he looked down. He stroked my stomach with his hand and smiled gently at me. I think I was on the verge of pure ecstasy.
"I love you Lark."
He said it so simply, so plainly that I blushed and raised my eyebrows. It was so out of the blue—and yet the words rung throughout my mind. He loved me—and no, for once it wasn't platonically, it was pure, honest love. A love so innocent only we could share—our love. I felt tears pricking my eyes and I smiled gently, almost disbelieving what I had just heard.
"I love you Chris," I said gently, grinning softly. He traced a finger across my cheek, staring at me for a few seconds, then sweetly kissed my lips. He lay down beside me, bringing my body up against his, and I breathed in his scent—that scent that literally knocked me off my feet. And we laid like that for the rest of the afternoon, just lying there together. Together, the way I always hoped it would be. And I knew at that moment, that I was head over heels in love.
~*~*~
[hey guys, thanks for my reviews. Right, so I'm thinking about ending this story soon. Perhaps in another chapter or so, or two or three. I dunno! I'm also thinking of doing an epilogue kind of deal—I dunno, I've never done one of those. So I don't know yet, nothing's too sure. But anyways, review and tell me if this chapter was too corny! It was full of fluff—fluff- filled, but I couldn't help myself, so I apologize if ya'll cringe throughout this chapter. Anyways, review as usual and take care! Love and Strawberries, The Good Girl.]
No, I know I've fallen. It's scary, and breathtaking, and gives me this icy feeling deep inside of me, but I know it's true. I'm done—gone, waving goodbye, I've fallen long ago. And every time those eyes meet mine, every time that voice reaches my ears, every time those hands grace my skin, I know I'm falling even more. When will I reach the bottom? Perhaps I already have, perhaps I'm merely being dramatic, and perhaps I'm being repetitive. Whatever it is, I know that I'm gone, so far gone, and even if I wanted to I couldn't come back. It's done—the deal's closed. I'm gone.
And how I wish I wasn't gone—how I wish I could somehow come back to the person I used to be. So I haven't changed that much, but I've become somewhat more—mature? I don't know...all I know is that these feelings that I'm having aren't my usual feelings. They aren't things I've ever felt before, yet they are the feelings sixteen year old girls are supposed to have. Lust, love, passion, desire? And all these things have come over me for one reason and one reason alone.
Chris Chambers.
Damn him.
And his smile...
And that smirk.
And his...body.
And his laugh...and the way he always freaking CARES.
And his beautiful eyes.
And that fucking amazing, fly away, UNKEMPT hair of his.
Damn him.
~*~*~
It was warm inside my house—the cold was dancing around in the frosty snow and I was thankful when Chris and I dropped Gordie off at his house—he had to go call 'someone' though no names were mentioned—and decided to get some hot chocolate. I hung Chris' coat and mine on the coat rack just beside the front door, and immediately the most delicious smell could be met to my nostrils and I immediately led the way to the kitchen.
"Something smells GOOD," Chris commented, grinning softly. I laughed.
"I bet my mom's baking again..."
And indeed my mother was just setting some freshly baked cookies on the table, beside surprise-surprise a hot apple pie and brownies. I swear, it was like my mother's goddamn purpose and refuge in life to make all her offspring fat and unhealthy, yet oddly satisfied with baked goods that were SO DAMN GOOD.
Danny was seated at the table currently stuffing as many baked goods into his body, while attempting to scribble some homework away. I had no idea where my other siblings were, but Teeny was seated in her seat coloring a picture. When we entered the kitchen my mom looked up and smiled happily.
"Hello you two," she set pleasantly. "Why don't you guys have a snack? Just baked these!"
Chris smiled and took a cookie happily. "Thanks Mrs. O'Reilly. They smell great."
I rolled my eyes but grinned all the same as I grabbed a few cookies. I had to admit—the woman could bake. Damn well. Sometimes I really did like my mom—she was one of the few people who didn't look down upon Chris.
"What are you guys up to today?" Danny asked, shoving yet another brownie into his mouth. I really did envy boy's metabolisms. They could eat and eat and eat, and still stay lanky and tall. Well, at least all the guys I knew could. Grr.
I shrugged, starting to pour Chris and I glasses of milk from the fridge. "We went sledding in the park with Gordie—right never again. Little kids are so mean these days."
Chris snorted and popped another cookie in his mouth, taking his glass of milk from me. He gave me a mischievous look and I couldn't help but blush slightly, hating how I was so vulnerable under his gaze. I coughed immediately, not wanting my brother or mom to notice anything—can you say embarrassing enough? But it seemed Danny was much more interested in the baked goods than his little sister's boyfriend. And my mom was already stirring a new cake mix up. I decided this was a good time to get away.
"Well, we'll be upstairs," I said, grabbing a plate of cookies. "If you need something just holler."
My mom nodded and smiled pleasantly, Danny grinned through a mouthful of cookie and Teeny waved her little hand at me. I quickly exited the kitchen, rather to be alone with Chris than anything else. I smirked as we ascended the stairs. "My mom is a bake freak—did you see all the shit she was baking?"
Chris nodded happily, munching on a cookie. "I don't mind, not at all. My mom NEVER bakes...damn these cookies are good!" I laughed as he reached for another cookie. The boy could eat. We made our way into my bedroom and I gently closed my door, loving the feeling of warmth and serenity. It was so calming, so beautiful, so...peaceful. I wanted to stay in my room forever with Chris—besides for the obvious reasons—but just because it felt so damn...right. It was scary and kind of corny, but all the same it was this amazing, fleeting feeling in my stomach that I couldn't help but want to have every waking hour, every single fucking day of my life.
"You're doing it again."
I looked up distractedly at Chris as I sat on my bed, opposite of him. I quirked an eyebrow. "Doing what ?" I hated that—I hated how he always pointed those things out that I did, my little quirks, yet at the same time I loved it. I loved knowing that he noticed me—noticed ANYTHING about me, whether it be my nervous habits or annoying traits, whatever it was, Chris noticed me and that was worth the whole fucking world. Worth everything. Pretty damn pathetic...
"You're staring again," Chris pointed out. "You look like you're thinking hard. You do it a lot."
I frowned, munching on a cookie absentmindedly. "Is there something wrong with thinking?"
Chris shrugged, grinning at me. "Nope. It's just—you do it a lot." I sighed. I couldn't help it—I couldn't help zoning out ever few minutes...my mind was like a TV buzzing, flipping through channels 100 miles per second. I had so much to think about that it actually hurt my head and I was exhausted. But what WASN'T there to think about? When didn't I think about Chris? When didn't I feel all angsty? When didn't I contemplate my life in my mind? Let's just say, I did it way to often.
Chris stretched his arms over his head and lay back on my bed—a look of pure content on his face. He closed his eyes and suddenly looked so angelic I wanted to kiss him forever. I had this weakness for guys asleep. There was just something so deep, so moving, so sexy about sleeping guys. I don't know why, but I've always felt that way. And the way Chris' eyes gently fluttered and the steady breathing pattern made my heart skip several beats—something I'd grown accustomed to over the past months.
"How do you do it?" I asked, looking down at him curiously. He opened his eyes and grinned gently.
"Do what?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows. I sighed and took another bite of my cookie, but suddenly the taste was nothing, my mouth was numb. It was like—when I was with Chris, or when I thought about him, everything became numb besides that fluttering feeling deep inside me. I was no longer hungry, I was no longer tired, I no longer breathed, it was like I wasn't even living. When Chris was with me, it was like that was the only thing worth anything anymore; I had no other desire than him. It was the most beautiful feeling that I've ever felt in my whole entire life, something I'd cherish for years to come.
"How do you make it so it's so easy to..." I trailed off, hoping I didn't sound too corny and pathetic. "to fall for you?"
Chris was silent and looked deeply at me. His eyes grew serious, not a serous-angry, more of a less playful and sincere kind of look, showing me he cared and wasn't going to laugh off my feelings. He was just so good. I looked down at him but quickly looked away—suddenly self conscious. I didn't want to get all deep on him, but I couldn't help but want him to know just how much I cared for him without scaring him off. I couldn't help it—I was drawn to his enigmatic presence.
"I mean," I continued for the hell of it. I was throwing my pride out the window. "it's like inevitable. I can't help it. Damn you," I added, sighing but smiling faintly all the same way. He grinned at me and reached his hand up to stroke my cheek. "You know Chris, that night you came to my room and you were so wet and cold and tired and hurt...all I wanted to do was take care of you and make sure you were okay. I was scared and hurt and angry, but I knew I wanted to make it all right for you."
Chris sat up and looked deeply into my eyes, so deeply I thought he'd fall into me. How I loved that stare and hated it all at the same time—how I knew I was so powerless under those eyes, under him. He was so close to me I was having trouble breathing, his body was against mine, the feeling was all too much, I wanted him, I needed him.
"Lark," he said, his voice causing me to tremble slightly. "that night when we were together, even though it wasn't the first time I was with a girl like that...it was like the first time. It was like it meant something—it wasn't just a one night kind of thing." Chris snickered despite himself. "That sounded quite lame indeed. I apologize for my corniness."
I smirked while I was floating on cloud nine. "Your corniness amuses me." He grinned and kissed me, a kiss that literally took my breath away. And I'm not kidding—I had to breathe through my nose. He gently ran his hand through my hair and leaned me back against my bed, covering my body with his. My whole body was tingling as he continued to kiss me, growing more passionately as he explored my mouth with his tongue. He pulled away after a few moments, and looked down at me. I felt his chest lift up and down upon my chest as he breathed, a few strands of his hair falling into his eyes as he looked down. He stroked my stomach with his hand and smiled gently at me. I think I was on the verge of pure ecstasy.
"I love you Lark."
He said it so simply, so plainly that I blushed and raised my eyebrows. It was so out of the blue—and yet the words rung throughout my mind. He loved me—and no, for once it wasn't platonically, it was pure, honest love. A love so innocent only we could share—our love. I felt tears pricking my eyes and I smiled gently, almost disbelieving what I had just heard.
"I love you Chris," I said gently, grinning softly. He traced a finger across my cheek, staring at me for a few seconds, then sweetly kissed my lips. He lay down beside me, bringing my body up against his, and I breathed in his scent—that scent that literally knocked me off my feet. And we laid like that for the rest of the afternoon, just lying there together. Together, the way I always hoped it would be. And I knew at that moment, that I was head over heels in love.
~*~*~
[hey guys, thanks for my reviews. Right, so I'm thinking about ending this story soon. Perhaps in another chapter or so, or two or three. I dunno! I'm also thinking of doing an epilogue kind of deal—I dunno, I've never done one of those. So I don't know yet, nothing's too sure. But anyways, review and tell me if this chapter was too corny! It was full of fluff—fluff- filled, but I couldn't help myself, so I apologize if ya'll cringe throughout this chapter. Anyways, review as usual and take care! Love and Strawberries, The Good Girl.]