Naruto Primer: Naruto/Kiba/Neji

Alternative Punishment

Kiba now had another day off since his teacher was having yet another one of those Teacher and Jounin Parties.

Naruto now had the rest of the day off since his teacher felt that hanging upside down for hours after running a hundred laps handcuffed to Sasuke was enough for one day.

Neji now had the day off because he had sneaked off from playing Twister with the rest of his team.

These three met suddenly at some crossroads.

It was slightly awkward.

"So…Naruto…have you used that new Ninja star yet?" Kiba asked.

"No, not yet." Naruto replied.  "You?"

"I already told you, I don't use ninja stars." Kiba replied.

"What are YOU doing here, Neji?" asked Naruto.  "Shouldn't you be off training or something?"

"I should as the same question." Neji replied.

All three of them cleared their throats and were just about to continue on their merry way when, suddenly, the skies became dark and cloudy and lightning struck the middle of where they were standing.  When the lightning cleared, Itachi was standing there!!  Itachi being, of course, Sasuke's evil brother.

"GASP!!!" gasped Kiba and Naruto because they knew of Sasuke's evil brother's existence and the fact that they had so recently splurged all his money.

"…" said Neji since he wasn't enlightened on the previous two things.

"I just got my credit card bills back yesterday and boy am I angry!!" said Itachi, shaking a mile long paper around.  "And, besides the fact that I KNEW that I hadn't bought all these things, I can't help but notice that these signatures don't match mine!"

"What's that got to do with us?" said Kiba nervously.

"Well, at first I was going to randomly accuse my brother of doing so but then I figured that he wouldn't buy the things on the list." Itachi said, pulling out a pair of glasses and looking at the paper.  "So I got samples of all his little friends' writing and found that the style of writing matches that of a certain NARUTO!!"

"GASP!!!" gasped Naruto.

"And, only one person of his little friends would ever buy such an enormous amount of Kibbles and Bits!" Itachi said.  "And that's KIBA!!"

"GASP!!!" gasped Kiba.

Itachi looked at Neji.  "As for you…" he said slowly.  "You can just leave."

"Don't leave us, Neji!!" pleaded Kiba and Naruto as they jumped over to Neji and hid behind him.

"What exactly did you guys do?" Neji asked.

"We found his wallet and used his credit card!" confessed Naruto.

"And money." Kiba added.

"AND my frequent buyer's card to Shuriken R Us!" Itachi reminded them angrily in a certain tone of resentment.  "Those are things I just can't forgive!  I will have to smite them both senselessly and if you don't get out of the way, you shall taste my wrath as well!"

"Now, now, I'm sure there's an agreement that we can come to so that no one must be smote." Neji tried to negotiate.

"Oh?" said Itachi, crossing his arms.  "And what would that be?"

"Well…for example…they could give you all the stuff they bought!" Neji suggested.

"You think I want that much Kibbles and Bits?!" demanded Itachi.

"How much Kibbles and Bits did you guys buy?" Neji asked.

Akamaru barked in response.  "You can say that again, Akamaru!" Kiba agreed.

"Well, how about they pay back all your money?" Neji tried.

Itachi waved the paper around again.  "Do you have any idea just how much money they spent?!" he demanded.  "I don't think they'll be able to pay it off in this lifetime!"

"Come on, Neji, think of something else!" whined Naruto.

"I don't see you guys brainstorming." Neji said.

"We're too shocked and distraught to do so." Kiba said.

"I think the only way to settle this is a fight to the death!" Itachi decided.  "Fight me together, fight me alone!  It's your choice!!"

"Will killing them really solve your money problem?" Neji asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well…no…" Itachi admitted.

"So then what's the point?" Neji said.

"I'm MAD." Itachi replied, stomping his foot.  "They used all my money without my permission."

"That was certainly wrong of them." Neji agreed.  "But killing them, as you have admitted, is not going to do you or anyone else any good.  Is there an alternative punishment that you can think up for them?"

"Alternative punishment?" said Itachi, rubbing his chin.  "Like what?"

"Like…uh…they could…um…mow your lawn!" Neji tried.

"Mow my lawn?" Itachi said with an interested looking face as he nodded in slight satisfaction.

"And do your dry cleaning." Neji continued.  "Pull the weeds in your flower beds.  You could pretty much make them slaves for an allotted amount of time!"

"Hey, you're going a little too far now, Neji." Kiba whispered.

"That is a very tempting proposition you're making." Itachi admitted.  "I'll need some time to think about it.  Until then, stay out of trouble because I wouldn't want you to die if I wanted to kill you later or if I just wanted to make you both my slaves."

With that, Itachi just kind of…faded out and disappeared.

"YAHOO!!" cheered Kiba.  "Yeah, Neji!  You're the man!!"

"You're our savior!!" Naruto admitted.

"Well, what can I say?" Neji said slightly nervously.

"Even though you're kind of weird when it comes to everything and dance the Macarena at inappropriate times and can't tell the difference between left and right, you're pretty cool!" said Kiba.

"Hey." Said Neji.  "I can tell the difference between left and right."

"No you can't." said Naruto as he and Kiba started walking away.

"Yes I can." Neji said after them.

"We ALL saw it, Neji." Kiba called back to him as he and Naruto got further and further away.

"…Yes I can." Neji insisted to himself.