The next morning, around 10 o'clock I wake up because somebody was kicking against the door. Oh fuck, the door was still locked. I got the key and opened the door. His dad was standing in the door opening. "I'm sorry, I had to lock the door or otherwise Mark may had gone away." I said to him. He said he understanded it, but that he was just a bit worried. I asked him if we could go to the kitchen, and we locked the door again. We walked to the kitchen and his dad got me a cup of tea. I sat down and smoked a cigarette. I told his dad what happened that night, about the things that Mark saw and about my blue eye and the reason why we were sleeping on the floor. His dad said that it was normal that Mark is seeing things that aren't there and that he thinks it was a good thing of me to go to his room, although the blue eye wasn't ok.

Mark stayed in his bed for another 10 days. Of course he went out to take a shower or something but he never left the house because his mum was always watching him. He must have been very bored, so I tried to cheer him up. I got my telly from my house and put it in his room and we watched all kinds of movies the whole day long. I was glad I stayed with him, because in these 10 days I learned a lot more of him than the months we've been dating before. He is so sweet that it's almost unnatural. And yesterday I saw his smile again. I haven't seen that in like 12 days. I really missed that. Just one day and he's coming back to my place. His parents are really nice, I can't say anything negative about them, but you do miss some privacy when you live in their house. I can't wait. It's the last evening at his parents house and his mum had cooked a special meal. Normally his parents don't eat vegetarian, but because it was the last day, his mum made tofu with a lot of vegetables. I really liked it. Mark was not really tired so we watched another movie at his room, but halfway through the film I fell asleep.

His mum waked us up around 11 in the morning. I slept very well, but Mark didn't look good. We eat some breakfast and than I get my tv and sheets and thank his mum and dad. His mum is crying when we leave. I know what she's thinking and I think the same. What if he goes back to Swanney's? We walk to the busstation and I finally have the guts to talk about it with him.

I can't say that the past 12 days were like fun, because I had these terrible hallucinations, but Susan made it all a lot nicer. She brought her telly to my room and we watched a lot of movies. She was there every day. I can't believe she liked to spend her vacation at my tiny room with the hideous wallpaper, watching movies all day long and listening to me whining about Iggy Pop and old movies.

I know that if I screw up again now, it's deffinately over between us, and I don't want that to happen. But it's so difficult to think about something else than a shot. But the hardest part is over now. I have had the bad nights, the throwing up every 5 minutes and the "last week at this time I was cooking a shot" period. I'm thankful to my parents that they did this for me. And I'm embaressed that I yelled at them when it was my first day back at home.