"Mark, now you're back on the street I have to talk to you about something." He was looking a bit worried. "My vacation is almost over. I can't and will not watch you every second of the day, like your parents did at your old home. I just don't have the time and energy for it. And I want to trust you. But if I ever see you in the same room as drugs, I will immediately leave you and never come back, although I love you very much. I'm not having a relationship with drugs, I'm having one with you Mark."
He was quiet. But than he said he understanded it and he never wanted to touch the stuff again. And I really wanted to believe him, but I just didn't trust him completely. Not with all the things he has lied about to me. But time will learn.

That day I finally had the chance to clean a bit and get Mark's large cd-collection in the closet. And I found out that he was having only two pairs of pants and 5 shirts. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. You can't change everything in just one day. And I don't want to change Mark. I just wanna get him a bit well dressed I guess. He asked me if it was Ok if he went out with his mates to the pub. I was scraed, but I said that he didn't need to ask that to me, becaus he was a grown up men. So he left my home around 9 o' clock. I had a quick shower and then called Diane. I didn't tell her about Mark's problems, I just said that he was living with me and everything was Ok. And she still sounded a bit worried, but also happy for me. And she said that my mum had called he, because there wasn't anyone picking up the phone at my house. And I explained that I lived with Mark for some days. Than Diane told me that my mum was almost back from her holidays (she went to New Zealand) and that she was dying to see me. She came at the airport in two days. I was really excited to see her again. Since I left our house in Scotland and moved on my own here in the other side of Scotland, I didn't see her much. And she was travelling a lot. I talked a bot about a movie that Diane and I saw, then hang up the phone and walked to my bed. In about 10 minutes I fell asleep.

Next morning: Turning in my bed, and searching for a Mark. And find a Mark. I'm happy. He is still sleeping. So I move a bit closer to him and close my eyes again. This is a nice way of waking up, I think to myself. About an hour after that Mark is finally awake. And he looks a lot happier than normally. I say goodmorning and kiss him on the head. He still gots sleepy eyes, aah that's so cute.
melting Anyway, we do a bit hugging and kissing, and then he bakes some eggs for me. The rest of the day is really laid back. We watch some more movies (I have a very large movie collection) and talk a bit about not so important stuff. And then we go back to the bed and lay a bit down and drink some beer. When it's late in the afternoon and Mark has already had some beers he begins to talk. About that he went to the pub yesterday and he wasn't comfortable there, and than Sick Boy asked him to go to his appartment.

"I had really difficulty with saying no to him. And I'm not sure if I can do that another time. And it wasn't very pleasant yesterday. Sick Boy and Spud can only talk about speed, heroin, Sean Connery and women and Begbie keeps telling these stupid stories of all his fights. When you're high, they seem nice people, but they aren't my mates anymore. I moved on." " What are you trying to tell me Mark?" I ask him. "I wanna get out of here, before it's too late. If I keep on meeting them, I'm going back to my old life soon again. And I don't want that." "Where do you wanna go than? To another part of Scotland? More in the country?" "No," he says," I wanna move out of this country, I wanna go to Holland. I've heard so many good stories about it, and you come from it."

"Well, it's not only good things in Holland," I say, "But I think it would be really nice to live there again, and we can always move back to Scotland or another country." " Alright, so we are going to Holland than," he says and he asks me where I've lived in Holland and when I say I lived in Breda he has no idea where that is in Holland. So I tell him more about it and that I have an old friend there, Diane, and maybe she can help us wiith finding a house. And we have to tell my mum about it, and I really want a house a bit in the country and I keep on chatting to him. I'm just so excited. But also a bit sad because I am really gonna miss this city. In some way I'm loving this city. And there are the bad stuff like the dealers, but I also have the school here, and some other places that I have memories to, like the pub where I met Mark. But Mark accures me that it's all gonna be Ok. And I tell him a lot about Holland and my family and Diane and the food I missed so much. And it's like 12 in the night when I finally have said everyhting I wanted to say.

And I watch to Mark and he's sleeping. "Am I that boring?" I think, but I put the sheets over Mark and then go sleep myself too. I can't wait to call mum and Diane, and I hope we really soon can get a house somewhere near Breda. But I'm sure it's gonna take a long time. but it's better than live here until we're old. Because some places here remind me of the bad things that happened.