Naruto Primer: Lee/Sakura/Sasuke

If You Mean…

I'm better than him.  I'm better than that guy too…

Sasuke walked aimlessly through his little village.

Where's Sasuke gone off too…?

Sakura was in search of Sasuke.

Skip-a-dee-doo-DA!  Skip-a-dee-day!  My oh my what a wonderful day…

Lee was frolicking through the village, happy to be alive and kicking.

Then, they all crashed into each other at the same time.

"I'm better…?" Sasuke said in his discombobulated state.

"Sasuke…?" Sakura said in her discombobulated state.

"Skip-a-dee-doo-da?" Lee said in his discombobulated state.

They all took a moment to collect themselves.

"Hi Sasuke!" said Sakura as Sasuke stood up and brushed himself off.  "I was just looking for you!"

"Fancy that." Sasuke said with a sigh.

"Hi Sakura!" said Lee.  "Hi Sasuke!  FINE weather it is, don't you think?"

They both looked at him as if he didn't really belong.  When you think about it, though, he really didn't.  After all, he was part of GAI'S team, while Sakura and Sasuke were both part of KAKASHI'S team.  And, most importantly of all, their names started with an 'S' and his…well, his didn't.

"So I was thinking that maybe we could go on another date." Said Sakura.  "Maybe this time, we could go and see a movie instead of just going to McDonald's!"

"Maybe, but I don't really want to right now." Sasuke replied.

"Maybe?!" Sakura said, sounding hopeful.  "Right now?!  That means you would like to on a future date?!"

"I'd like to go right now, Sakura!" Lee said.

"What?" said Sakura.  "I thought you liked Ino!"

"Ino?" said Lee, looking confused.  "No!  I don't!  Sorry if you got that idea.  It's YOU I like!"

"But I like Sasuke!" Sakura whined.  She looked at Sasuke and half expected him to profess his love to Lee right then and there only to make things even MORE complicated, but luckily for her, he did not.

"Out of all honesty, Sakura, what do you like about him?" Lee asked.

"He's so handsome and he's born with so much talent and I just LOVE that about a guy!" Sakura answered in a very ditzy tone.

Lee thought about that for a minute.  "Well then I'm the perfect guy for you!" he said finally.  "I mean, of course, that if by 'handsome' you mean 'has a great personality' and by 'born with so much talent' you mean 'worked really hard to get where he is today'!"

"Just give it up, Lee." Said Sasuke.

"Gasp, Sasuke, you're standing up for me to make sure no one else takes your girl?" Sakura said happily.  "I could just melt!"

"That's not what I'm doing at all." Sasuke replied in such a way that it seemed that he was TRYING to crush every bone in her body with his harsh words.  "I'm just annoyed by his incessant babbling."

"Then how about you and I fight for Sakura's love right now?!" Lee said.

"You can have it." Sasuke replied.

"HURRAY!!!" cheered Lee.

"Sasuke!" yelled Sakura angrily.  "You can't just GIVE my love to Lee when I gave it to YOU to hold sacred!"

"I just did." Sasuke pointed out.

"Then I DEMAND that you fight Lee for my love!" Sakura said, crossing her arms.

"As fun as it would be to fight Lee, I don't want to have to do it if I'm fighting over your love." Sasuke admitted.

"Then fight me just for fun!" Lee said.

"Fine." Sasuke said.  "I accept."

"…And the winner gets Sakura's love!" Lee said quickly.

"No then." Sasuke amended himself.

"TOO LATE!!" yelled Lee.  "YOU ALREADY AGREED!!!  YOU HAVE TO NOW!!!"

"All right, I have a new contract." Said Sasuke.  "If you win, you can get Sakura and her love and all that other stuff that you want.  But, if I win…"

"Then you'll have to give up trying to get my beautiful lady!" Sakura said, filling in the words for Sasuke.

"Um…no." Sasuke said.  "If I win, you can get Sakura and her love."

"WHAT?!" demanded Sakura.

"So, technically, I can't lose!" Lee said.  "AND I get to fight!  It's a deal!!"

"No, it's NOT a deal!!" Sakura yelled.

"If I don't win this fight then I have to challenge three more people to a fight and BEAT THEM!!" Lee announced.  "And for every person I lose to, I have to fight three more people!!"

"You don't have to do that." Said Sasuke.  "Because, even if you lose, you'll still get Sakura and you'll have to fill your time with going out with her."

"YOU'RE RIGHT!!!" Lee yelled as his eyes turned into fireballs and a wave crashed behind him.

"Sasuke, you're so MEAN!!" wailed Sakura.

Then, the battle commenced.  Actually, it didn't.

Both Lee and Sasuke's stomachs growled at the exact same time at the exact moment it was supposed to start.  "I guess I forgot I was really hungry!!" Lee said.

"Yeah, I was on my way to Papa Gino's when I crashed into you two…" Sasuke admitted.

"PAPA GINO'S?!?!" Lee yelled.  "YEAH!!!!  I LOVE THAT PLACE!!!!"

"How about we eat first and THEN we fight?" Sasuke suggested.

"YEAH!!!" cheered Lee.  "NOW I GET PAPA GINO'S, A FIGHT WITH SASUKE AND SAKURA'S LOVE!!!  THIS IS A GREAT DAY!!!"

"Wait…what?" said Sakura since she had temporarily zoned out.

"Lee and I are going to Papa Gino's." Sasuke said as he and Lee started walking off.  "You can stay here if you want."

"No, I want to come!!" Sakura yelled, chasing after them.