The next morning his mum calls me. She's asking me if Mark already did an aidstest. And I felt so stupid. How can I forget that? His mum tells me that I can make an appointment in the hospital and then we hang up the phone. Fuck, what if Mark really has aids? I know we used a condom but that doesn't give 100% protection I guess. So I think of taking a test too. I call the hospital and make an appointment for today. I wake up Mark and tell him about it. He assures me that he's negative and that he never used needles of other people, but I'm not sure if you're really careful when you're addicted. I think it's more like: don't care which needle I use, as long as I get a shot it's ok. But Mark wants to take the test so I'm happy. I don't know what I would do if he or me or we both would be seropositive. I'm scared when we're walking to the entrance of the hospital.

The nurse tells us that it's gonna take some time before they know if you have it or not. It's gonna take three weeks. I already know that I'm not going to sleep very well these three weeks. Mark looks pretty quiet, but I'm sure he's really nervous deep inside. I get called by a nurse and I have to lay down on a bed and the nurse sticks a needle in my arm. I fucking hate needles and that's why I can't believe that Mark has had them in his arms that many times. She gets some blood in the needle and than I can go to the waitingroom. Now it's Mark's turn.

I get called by the nurse and as I walk by Susan, I can see that she's nervous. And I try to look really cool, but inside everything is shaking. I now some people who had the disease and I know it's not fun. A friend of Sick Boy has died because he had aids. I don't want that. Not now I have a nice life. I get on the bed and the nurse get's a needle. I can't look at it, so I turn my head the other way. It's the same nurse that got me when I arrived here for an overdose. She sticks the needle in my arm and I say "Auch!" and she looks to me with an attitude. She takes some blood from me and than I can leave the room.

We have to fill in some papers at the desk and than we can go home. When we are sitting in the bus Susan is really quiet. I'm worried about her. What if I gave her the disease? I would never forgive myself. And I have to wait another three weeks to know if we have it or not. It's gonna be the longest three weeks of my life.

I hadn't sleep very well, nor did Mark. We get out of bed for five times to smoke a cigarette. I truly hate waiting. Today my mum comes back from her trip to New Zealand. She has been there for 9 months I guess. She hasn't seen Mark. I'm dying to know what she thinks about him, and about the fact that we are gong to Holland. I don't think it's a good decision to tell her about Mark's addiction so I won't. Mark and I go with the bus to the airport. I'm glad we have busses here because I don't have money to buy a car and it would have been stolen anyway. Well, we arrive at the airport and as we walk to the exit I see my mum already. I run to her and I cry when she hugs me. "I'm so glad you're back," I said. I turned my head and Mark is almost with us. "Mum, I met someone, he's Scottish, I have a relationship with him. His name is Mark." And Mark is next to me. I can see he's really nervous. I introuce mark to my mum and my mum hugs him. She's so sweet.

Than we get back to the bus and we go to my and my mums home. I hadn't even thought about it, but my mum lives here too. I really want a house of my own now. Well, the rest of the day we talked about lots of stuff while Mark was going to the cd store and he was watching a movie. I told my mum we wanted to go to Holland because I missed it and because Mark wanted something new for the two of us. She thought it was a great idea. I hate to lie to her. But I can't tell her the truth. Not yet. The night was terrible. We tried not to wake my mum up, but Mark accidently throwed an ashtrale on the floor, just like the first night he lived here. He's a bit clumsy I guess. But my mum just pretended as if she not woke up, because she was sleeping on a campingbed in the kitchen.