He was late, and that was not like the Marius I knew. It was humid, and all
of our bodies were sticky with sweat. There was a knock at the door.
"Pontmercy!" I heard Grantaire say as a figure entered the Café. Quickly, I stood up to reprimand the boy for his tardiness.
"Marius, you're late," I began, looking at him sternly.
"You look a fright! Do tell us what's wrong, since you can't get out of this one - there's no way you can be so pale when all the rest of us are turning scarlet in this heat!" Grantaire was already pushing him into a nearby chair. Marius sat, and didn't bother to look at us. "It's as if he's seen a ghost!"
"Ghost?" Marius finally decided to say something. Everything became silent again as we leaned in to listen to what news he had. "If only you saw. If only you knew! She was like a ghost, she was like a dream! My heart was still, and it was only her that I could see. And then, she was gone..."
He was late for a woman? The better of me took over for I was able to suppress my anger. For the time being, that is.
"I am speechless," I said, breaking another awkward silence, "Marius is in love? What's next?"
"Oh, isn't it wonderful?" Added Grantaire.
"Shut up, you're drunk. Again." I said, shooting a nasty look at him. He shrugged, and sat down, drinking from a large bottle of wine.
"In love," Marius started, "I have never felt this way before..."
"You're being childish!" I snapped, cutting him off.
"I didn't mean for you to get upset," he said.
"I'm not upset!"
I could see him looking at me from the corner of my eye, but I refused to remove my gaze from the floor.
"Don't yell," Grantaire added gently.
"Your breath smells!" He put a hand up to his mouth, and sniffed.
Marius stood up, and let out a long groan.
"Her name! I didn't get her name!" said he.
"I thought you'd forgotten her!" I looked at him now, but he quickly averted his eyes.
"How could I? My world is changed forever!"
"You're starting to sound like Jehan," I said, snatching the bottle from Grantaire, and pouring myself a large glass of wine. I took a sip, and spit it right back out onto the floor.
"What is this rubbish? It burns!" I pushed the bottle back into Grantaire's arms.
"Well, no one ever said you had to like it," he said, happy to have his drink returned.
"I want to go home," I heard Combeferre say.
"Where did you come from?" asked Grantaire.
"No where," he replied, innocently. Courfeyrac also appeared.
"Ugh."
"What's the matter with him?" Courfeyrac whispered to Marius.
"Nothing," I said, "Just go home."
"That doesn't sound like you at all!" Grantaire said, looking at me. He knew something was wrong.
"Who cares?" started Combeferre, "We get to go home!" He and Coufeyrac were the first two to leave, followed by Grantaire and the rest of the company. All but Marius. He watched me, and waited for me to say something, I suppose. But I wouldn't. I had nothing to say to him.
"Can we talk?" He sat beside me.
"About what?" I turned to him, frustrated. He fell silent again, and let out a long sigh.
"Oh, it's nothing. You just seem upset and –"
"—I told you already, I'm not upset!" I jumped out of my seat and gave him a threatening look. He recoiled into his chair, and looked up at me, wide- eyed.
"Well you sure as Hell seem it," he had regained his confidence back, and it was his turn to yell.
"What would you know? You were too busy with that girl!"
"Julien, please!"
"You've forgotten," I said, sitting down again. He looked down at me, and I could feel his discomfort.
"I haven't," he responded.
"I'm sorry about all of this."
"No, it's fine. I understand," he placed himself on a couch across from me.
It took me a long while to be able to speak to him again. We were uncomfortable, sweaty, and exhausted.
"I'm not upset. Just disappointed." I said at last.
"With me."
"No. And yes," my ears were becoming hot.
"I do love you," he whispered. His voice was comforting and consoling.
"Why did you leave me then?"
He shut his eyes tightly, and rested his head in between his hands. I watched him for several minutes.
"Cher..."
"I wanted to live a normal life," he uttered. I remained silent. "Mon amour, please understand. I'm sorry. But we can't go on like this anymore. It's wrong." He came over and rested his hand on my cheek.
"Hold me, one last time," I said.
He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and gently kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes, whispering praises, endearments, and sweet nothings in his ear, for I knew it was the last time I was able to. I must've fallen asleep, for when I opened my eyes, he had gone already, and I was left alone in the Café. I wearily stood up, and walked out into the dark morning. I longed to hear his voice. I longed to feel his touch. I missed him already.
"Pontmercy!" I heard Grantaire say as a figure entered the Café. Quickly, I stood up to reprimand the boy for his tardiness.
"Marius, you're late," I began, looking at him sternly.
"You look a fright! Do tell us what's wrong, since you can't get out of this one - there's no way you can be so pale when all the rest of us are turning scarlet in this heat!" Grantaire was already pushing him into a nearby chair. Marius sat, and didn't bother to look at us. "It's as if he's seen a ghost!"
"Ghost?" Marius finally decided to say something. Everything became silent again as we leaned in to listen to what news he had. "If only you saw. If only you knew! She was like a ghost, she was like a dream! My heart was still, and it was only her that I could see. And then, she was gone..."
He was late for a woman? The better of me took over for I was able to suppress my anger. For the time being, that is.
"I am speechless," I said, breaking another awkward silence, "Marius is in love? What's next?"
"Oh, isn't it wonderful?" Added Grantaire.
"Shut up, you're drunk. Again." I said, shooting a nasty look at him. He shrugged, and sat down, drinking from a large bottle of wine.
"In love," Marius started, "I have never felt this way before..."
"You're being childish!" I snapped, cutting him off.
"I didn't mean for you to get upset," he said.
"I'm not upset!"
I could see him looking at me from the corner of my eye, but I refused to remove my gaze from the floor.
"Don't yell," Grantaire added gently.
"Your breath smells!" He put a hand up to his mouth, and sniffed.
Marius stood up, and let out a long groan.
"Her name! I didn't get her name!" said he.
"I thought you'd forgotten her!" I looked at him now, but he quickly averted his eyes.
"How could I? My world is changed forever!"
"You're starting to sound like Jehan," I said, snatching the bottle from Grantaire, and pouring myself a large glass of wine. I took a sip, and spit it right back out onto the floor.
"What is this rubbish? It burns!" I pushed the bottle back into Grantaire's arms.
"Well, no one ever said you had to like it," he said, happy to have his drink returned.
"I want to go home," I heard Combeferre say.
"Where did you come from?" asked Grantaire.
"No where," he replied, innocently. Courfeyrac also appeared.
"Ugh."
"What's the matter with him?" Courfeyrac whispered to Marius.
"Nothing," I said, "Just go home."
"That doesn't sound like you at all!" Grantaire said, looking at me. He knew something was wrong.
"Who cares?" started Combeferre, "We get to go home!" He and Coufeyrac were the first two to leave, followed by Grantaire and the rest of the company. All but Marius. He watched me, and waited for me to say something, I suppose. But I wouldn't. I had nothing to say to him.
"Can we talk?" He sat beside me.
"About what?" I turned to him, frustrated. He fell silent again, and let out a long sigh.
"Oh, it's nothing. You just seem upset and –"
"—I told you already, I'm not upset!" I jumped out of my seat and gave him a threatening look. He recoiled into his chair, and looked up at me, wide- eyed.
"Well you sure as Hell seem it," he had regained his confidence back, and it was his turn to yell.
"What would you know? You were too busy with that girl!"
"Julien, please!"
"You've forgotten," I said, sitting down again. He looked down at me, and I could feel his discomfort.
"I haven't," he responded.
"I'm sorry about all of this."
"No, it's fine. I understand," he placed himself on a couch across from me.
It took me a long while to be able to speak to him again. We were uncomfortable, sweaty, and exhausted.
"I'm not upset. Just disappointed." I said at last.
"With me."
"No. And yes," my ears were becoming hot.
"I do love you," he whispered. His voice was comforting and consoling.
"Why did you leave me then?"
He shut his eyes tightly, and rested his head in between his hands. I watched him for several minutes.
"Cher..."
"I wanted to live a normal life," he uttered. I remained silent. "Mon amour, please understand. I'm sorry. But we can't go on like this anymore. It's wrong." He came over and rested his hand on my cheek.
"Hold me, one last time," I said.
He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and gently kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes, whispering praises, endearments, and sweet nothings in his ear, for I knew it was the last time I was able to. I must've fallen asleep, for when I opened my eyes, he had gone already, and I was left alone in the Café. I wearily stood up, and walked out into the dark morning. I longed to hear his voice. I longed to feel his touch. I missed him already.