I can't believe how great things are. We are negative, we have a new
home, and I haven't used drugs since that time with my parents. I can't wait
till tomorrow, when we go to Holland. I'm really excited. But there aren't only
good things. I have noticed that Susan is sick. But she doesn't say anything
about it to me, so I'm worried. And her mum is too. I have talked with her
about it. I haven't talked with Susan about it, because she's so moody. I don't
know, it's a womansthing I guess. When her mum is back from the grocery's I go
to the shop around the corner to get some cigarettes and walk a bit. When I
come home after 30 minutes the house is quiet. I'm searching for her mum but
can't find her. So I walk to the bedroom and Susan is sitting there on the bed,
she's crying. I walk to her and asked her what's going on.
"I'm.. I'm...I'm pregnant Mark," I say to him when he sits next to me
on the bed. I look at him and his eyes are shining and he smiles. I put my arms
around him and cry even more. "Now I'm truly happy," I say to him. He
hugs me and kisses me and feels at my tummy. "There's nothing to feel
right now," I say, " We have to wait a while before we are sure that
the child is alright." Mark asks if it's his. "Of course it's yours I
haven't been with anybody but you," I say to him and than he starts to cry
too. And we sit there for a long time. Until I have to run to the bathroom
again.
That's why she's so sick and moody, I think by myself when she runs to the
bathroom. When she comes back she talks to me. She doesn't want to say it to
anybody, not until we're sure that the baby is ok. And I agree with that. Me, a
dad. I can't believe it. What would it be, a boy or a girl? I don't think you
can see that now already. I know absolutely nothing about kids. Yeah, I know
how hard it is to be one. Later that day her mum comes back and it's hard not
to tell her anything, but I do it for Susan. I pack the last things and she
wants to help but I don't let her. She needs rest, I told to her. And than she
told me that she wasn't disabled, she was only pregnant and she could still
lift a box. So, she could pack the small things. The night was really nice. We
had fun with her mum and we got to bed early. But we talked for a long time
about the little one.
Today is the day. His parents came really early to say goodbye and they gave me
some cash in my hand. I said I couldn't accept it, but his mum said she could
see that we were made for each other and we could use some help. I thanked her
and her dad and mark did too and he talked alone with his dad about something
and than they went home. I quit smoking and my mum asked me why this morning,
and I said that it was a bad habbit and I wanted to quit and Mark stopped too. I
know I'm pregnant so I'm not supposed to drive the truck, so Mark is doing
that. Mark, my mum, her friend, and me put the boxes in the truck. I give my
mum a goodbye kiss and hug her really good. Than I kiss Mark and I sit in the
passengers seat. Mark gives my mum a hug and she kisses him on the cheek. And
they talk a bit. I'm sure my mum is now saying to him stuff like: take good
care of her blabla. He gets to the truck and we drive away. Men, he's driving
slowly. "Can't you go any faster?" I ask him and he just says that he
doesn't want to make any accidents now I'm pregnant and that we have enough
time to get to Holland. And he's right. And I like it, sitting in this big
truck with the three of us. I have eaten three sandwiches fifteen minutes ago,
and I'm already looking in the bag with food for some candybars. God bless my
mum. I find out that the whole bag was filled with candybars, cheese and coke. Not
the drugs, but the booze. And while I'm stuffing myself with it, I watch to
Mark who's looking really good behind that big wheel of the truck. And I know
that this is the best decission we ever made. And there we go, to our new life.
