For a long time I stood perched on the mantelpiece, brooding over my rather
unpleasant predicament. It was not until a few hours later, when my
stomach was rumbling with hunger, that I saw any other signs of life at
all.
A great big shadow descended upon me and I heard a rustling from the stairs behind my back. Trying to keep my dignity as wizard, even if I was at the moment enchanted as a clock, I refused to cower in the shadows, which were looking very welcoming at the moment. Instead, I stood my ground as whatever it was that was lurking behind me descended down the stairs with one graceful sweep and stood looming before me. My eyes widened a little and it took an enormous amount of conscious effort not to take a step back.
It was a beast. Or, at least, somewhat. It was very tall, much taller than any human, and looked rather like a lion, only slightly more ferocious. Its mane was a dark gold, as was its body, but the fur covering it was much shaggier than that of a regular lion. Its eyes, however, were very much human. They sparkled with a coppery brown intelligence that only a human could possess. It stood erect on its hind legs like a human as well, and these were the clues that told me he was a human under an enchantment. Immediately, my fear abated. I recognized the working of the Ritch right away.
"So," I said rather nonchalantly, "did she get you too?"
The Beast looked surprised, as if he expected me to be afraid of him. Can't imagine why.
"Did who get me?" he asked suspiciously, narrowing his large human eyes.
"Oh, you know," I said impatiently, "the Ritch."
The Beast looked at me even more suspiciously now.
"Ritch?" he said, "No, this was an Enchantress."
I laughed.
"Enchantress?" I gasped amid my peals of laughter, "Oh, that's rich!"
The Beast waited with a rather annoyed expression on his face while I took a couple of deep breaths and controlled myself enough to speak without gasping.
"Her name might be Enchantra, but she's no Enchantress. She's a Ritch," I explained. "As you can see, she turned me into a clock. I'm really a very powerful wizard."
"Are you?" the Beast growled with raised eyebrows. It, or 'he' rather, did not look too pleased with my presence in his castle.
"Yes," I said, trying to act more dignified. I stuck out a little clock arm in salutation. "The name's Argyle. Maybe you've heard of me?"
The Beast started to walk away in disgust, ignoring completely my friendly gesture.
"Wait!" I called, "where are you going?"
"Away from you," he rumbled without turning back around.
"Well," I stammered, "well, I'm a little hungry."
The Beast turned around at that.
"You're a wizard," he snarled. "Magick your own food! Just leave me be!"
With that, the Beast stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him. I put my hands on my hips and narrowed my eyes crossly.
"Fine," I muttered, "if that's how you want to play."
It was almost seven o'clock in the morning anyway. As soon as I struck seven, I'd be able to do a bit of magic and that meant, of course, breakfast. Yum.
Seven minutes later, seven o'clock came. I quickly conjured up a miniature plate of pancakes that were nearly drowned in maple syrup and literally wolfed them down. Before I was finished, another shadow loomed over me from behind. Curious to know what other enchantments found refuge in this castle, I turned around and tried to see over my shoulder. It didn't work as well as I had hoped and I ended up staggering forwards and almost fell off the side of the mantelpiece. Regaining my balance, I looked up to see an interesting looking young woman standing before me. She might have been quite pretty, at some point in her life, but that point had long passed, it seemed. Her hair, the color of straw, stuck out wildly in all directions in what seemed like bushels surrounding her bony shoulders. Her eyes were a bland blue with absolutely no depth to them. If she'd been under an enchantment, I would not have known she was human. She smiled crookedly at me as I hastily finished chewing my pancake.
"Who are you?" she asked in a rather high-pitched, slightly raspy voice. She cleared her throat as I swallowed.
"I'm Argyle the wizard," I told her, sneering a bit at her appearance. She looked no more than a dim-witted princess. Probably was, at that. She giggled and poked me with a finger.
"A wizard? You're a bit small for a wizard," she said, sounding a bit confused. I stared levelly at her, wondering who had dropped her as a baby and if it had been down those stairs behind me.
"Yes and I am also a clock," I told her slowly, as if explaining to an infant. "Failed to notice that, did you? Did you also fail to notice that your prince charming has been transformed into a Beast?"
She looked even more confused for a minute before understanding dawned on her pathetic, sickly looking face.
"Oh! Him? He's not my prince charming." She sighed, "He has kidnapped me and will not let me leave. And he is anything but charming."
I wondered at this, though I knew to take everything she said with a grain of salt. I could believe the Beast to be evil, he looked monstrous enough, but what on earth would he want with a dim wit like her?
"Is that so?" I asked the girl suspiciously. "And who might you be then?" The girl's face brightened.
"My name is Lunella and I'm a princess of a neighboring kingdom. My father came to this wretched castle on business and when he tried to take a simple gift for me, that awful Beast told him he had to either stay forever or send one of his daughters. He was then given three days in which he had to decide, and by the end of the third day, either he or his daughter had to return to the castle.
"When poor Father returned home, I volunteered to go in his stead. No one protested, which I had hoped would happen so that parting need not be so painful, as it was sorrowful enough, and here I am – hostage to the wicked monster you saw before."
Lunella sighed dramatically. I found the story horribly funny.
"And what did your father take that the Beast got so upset over?" I wanted to know. Lunella smiled dreamily at this.
"A beautiful handmirror," she murmured sweetly. "It was gorgeous. It had a flourishing border with precious stones embedded in real silver and carvings of such lovely things! Unicorns, dragons, magic sparks, stars..."
She drifted off and I rolled my eyes. I had had enough of conversing with a stupid princess and returned to finishing my breakfast. When my plate was clean, I left it beside me on the mantelpiece and licked my lips of syrup before speaking again.
"Lunella," I said delicately, "is there a library in this grand old place?"
Lunella jumped as her thoughts returned to earth and her cheeks blushed.
"A library? Oh, yes! And such a lovely one, too, if you enjoy reading. I think it's a dull and tiresome way to pass the time, but the Beast loves it so! He never lets me in the library," she added with a wicked little smile, "but I'll go for you, Argyle. I think you're cute!"
I groaned under my breath and then smiled smoothly up at the princess.
"Well, if you would be so kind as to pass this Time to the library," I said, referring to my clocksome self, "I'd appreciate it very much. You see, I need to find a book about breaking enchantments."
Lunella looked at me blankly.
"Pass what time to the library?"
I rolled my eyes expressively and drew in a sharp breath, forcing myself to remain patient with her.
"Just," I said forcibly, "take me to the library."
Her eyes lit up.
"Oh!" she said and lifted me gingerly in her arms, making me shudder with displeasure. "Of course! Anything you ask of me, darling little clock," she smiled and tickled me under my chin.
"Stop that!" I snapped and she frowned, taking her hand away. "And don't call me 'darling.'"
Lord, what a looney.
A great big shadow descended upon me and I heard a rustling from the stairs behind my back. Trying to keep my dignity as wizard, even if I was at the moment enchanted as a clock, I refused to cower in the shadows, which were looking very welcoming at the moment. Instead, I stood my ground as whatever it was that was lurking behind me descended down the stairs with one graceful sweep and stood looming before me. My eyes widened a little and it took an enormous amount of conscious effort not to take a step back.
It was a beast. Or, at least, somewhat. It was very tall, much taller than any human, and looked rather like a lion, only slightly more ferocious. Its mane was a dark gold, as was its body, but the fur covering it was much shaggier than that of a regular lion. Its eyes, however, were very much human. They sparkled with a coppery brown intelligence that only a human could possess. It stood erect on its hind legs like a human as well, and these were the clues that told me he was a human under an enchantment. Immediately, my fear abated. I recognized the working of the Ritch right away.
"So," I said rather nonchalantly, "did she get you too?"
The Beast looked surprised, as if he expected me to be afraid of him. Can't imagine why.
"Did who get me?" he asked suspiciously, narrowing his large human eyes.
"Oh, you know," I said impatiently, "the Ritch."
The Beast looked at me even more suspiciously now.
"Ritch?" he said, "No, this was an Enchantress."
I laughed.
"Enchantress?" I gasped amid my peals of laughter, "Oh, that's rich!"
The Beast waited with a rather annoyed expression on his face while I took a couple of deep breaths and controlled myself enough to speak without gasping.
"Her name might be Enchantra, but she's no Enchantress. She's a Ritch," I explained. "As you can see, she turned me into a clock. I'm really a very powerful wizard."
"Are you?" the Beast growled with raised eyebrows. It, or 'he' rather, did not look too pleased with my presence in his castle.
"Yes," I said, trying to act more dignified. I stuck out a little clock arm in salutation. "The name's Argyle. Maybe you've heard of me?"
The Beast started to walk away in disgust, ignoring completely my friendly gesture.
"Wait!" I called, "where are you going?"
"Away from you," he rumbled without turning back around.
"Well," I stammered, "well, I'm a little hungry."
The Beast turned around at that.
"You're a wizard," he snarled. "Magick your own food! Just leave me be!"
With that, the Beast stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him. I put my hands on my hips and narrowed my eyes crossly.
"Fine," I muttered, "if that's how you want to play."
It was almost seven o'clock in the morning anyway. As soon as I struck seven, I'd be able to do a bit of magic and that meant, of course, breakfast. Yum.
Seven minutes later, seven o'clock came. I quickly conjured up a miniature plate of pancakes that were nearly drowned in maple syrup and literally wolfed them down. Before I was finished, another shadow loomed over me from behind. Curious to know what other enchantments found refuge in this castle, I turned around and tried to see over my shoulder. It didn't work as well as I had hoped and I ended up staggering forwards and almost fell off the side of the mantelpiece. Regaining my balance, I looked up to see an interesting looking young woman standing before me. She might have been quite pretty, at some point in her life, but that point had long passed, it seemed. Her hair, the color of straw, stuck out wildly in all directions in what seemed like bushels surrounding her bony shoulders. Her eyes were a bland blue with absolutely no depth to them. If she'd been under an enchantment, I would not have known she was human. She smiled crookedly at me as I hastily finished chewing my pancake.
"Who are you?" she asked in a rather high-pitched, slightly raspy voice. She cleared her throat as I swallowed.
"I'm Argyle the wizard," I told her, sneering a bit at her appearance. She looked no more than a dim-witted princess. Probably was, at that. She giggled and poked me with a finger.
"A wizard? You're a bit small for a wizard," she said, sounding a bit confused. I stared levelly at her, wondering who had dropped her as a baby and if it had been down those stairs behind me.
"Yes and I am also a clock," I told her slowly, as if explaining to an infant. "Failed to notice that, did you? Did you also fail to notice that your prince charming has been transformed into a Beast?"
She looked even more confused for a minute before understanding dawned on her pathetic, sickly looking face.
"Oh! Him? He's not my prince charming." She sighed, "He has kidnapped me and will not let me leave. And he is anything but charming."
I wondered at this, though I knew to take everything she said with a grain of salt. I could believe the Beast to be evil, he looked monstrous enough, but what on earth would he want with a dim wit like her?
"Is that so?" I asked the girl suspiciously. "And who might you be then?" The girl's face brightened.
"My name is Lunella and I'm a princess of a neighboring kingdom. My father came to this wretched castle on business and when he tried to take a simple gift for me, that awful Beast told him he had to either stay forever or send one of his daughters. He was then given three days in which he had to decide, and by the end of the third day, either he or his daughter had to return to the castle.
"When poor Father returned home, I volunteered to go in his stead. No one protested, which I had hoped would happen so that parting need not be so painful, as it was sorrowful enough, and here I am – hostage to the wicked monster you saw before."
Lunella sighed dramatically. I found the story horribly funny.
"And what did your father take that the Beast got so upset over?" I wanted to know. Lunella smiled dreamily at this.
"A beautiful handmirror," she murmured sweetly. "It was gorgeous. It had a flourishing border with precious stones embedded in real silver and carvings of such lovely things! Unicorns, dragons, magic sparks, stars..."
She drifted off and I rolled my eyes. I had had enough of conversing with a stupid princess and returned to finishing my breakfast. When my plate was clean, I left it beside me on the mantelpiece and licked my lips of syrup before speaking again.
"Lunella," I said delicately, "is there a library in this grand old place?"
Lunella jumped as her thoughts returned to earth and her cheeks blushed.
"A library? Oh, yes! And such a lovely one, too, if you enjoy reading. I think it's a dull and tiresome way to pass the time, but the Beast loves it so! He never lets me in the library," she added with a wicked little smile, "but I'll go for you, Argyle. I think you're cute!"
I groaned under my breath and then smiled smoothly up at the princess.
"Well, if you would be so kind as to pass this Time to the library," I said, referring to my clocksome self, "I'd appreciate it very much. You see, I need to find a book about breaking enchantments."
Lunella looked at me blankly.
"Pass what time to the library?"
I rolled my eyes expressively and drew in a sharp breath, forcing myself to remain patient with her.
"Just," I said forcibly, "take me to the library."
Her eyes lit up.
"Oh!" she said and lifted me gingerly in her arms, making me shudder with displeasure. "Of course! Anything you ask of me, darling little clock," she smiled and tickled me under my chin.
"Stop that!" I snapped and she frowned, taking her hand away. "And don't call me 'darling.'"
Lord, what a looney.