Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with owning What's Eating Gilbert Grape. Only the dvd.
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Have you ever prepared yourself for something that you knew one day would come? You get this vision in your head of how things will play out and how you will cope and what not. You do this for big events, weather they be happy or sad ones, that you know are coming, and after a while you say to yourself, 'Alright, I'm ready.' And you really believe it too. You really believe that you're going to be able to handle this life changing event without much difficulty.
Have you ever done this? If you have, then let me ask you this, when did you realize that it was all bullshit?
The truth is, you can prepare and tell yourself you're ready all you like, but it's all one big lie. Because in the end, when it's all said and done, you're never ready. And saying that you are is just a mind game you play on yourself to soften the blow.
That's what it was like when Mama died. I knew it would happen one day, and I, like an idiot, thought I was ready for it. But I wasn't.
Not now. Not so soon. Not after I finally learned to appreciate her. Why now? Why did God have to take her now?
And that's another thing. Everybody says that God is so great and that he does everything for a reason. Well what good reason could there possibly be for this? What good reason is there to take a woman away from the family that needs her? Is it to teach us responsibility? Well, if there truly is a God, then he sure has a cruel way of thinking.
But wait! Maybe this is all a mistake. Maybe she's just in a deep sleep. But no, no matter how hard I try, she won't wake up. And she never will. She will continue to stay in her slumber, just like Sleeping Beauty.
It's funny how I never realized it before, but Mama really is beautiful. Probably the most beautiful person I've ever seen. And I don't mean just physically. I mean mentally, emotionally and everything in between. She was definitely a one in a kind gal. She's gonna make a great angel. And maybe now she can finally be with daddy again.
And then Ellen brings me back to reality. 'There's gonna be a crowd.' And she's right. It would take a crane to get Mama out of here. Of course there's gonna be a crowd. And why? Because we live in a sick society where people get pleasure out of other people's misery. Well not this time. No. These people are gonna have to get their kicks some place else. I've hurt Mama too many times in the past and I'm through with that. She's not a joke. And there's no way I'm ever gonna let her be one again. She started her life here, and it's only right that she ends it here. It's finally time to say goodbye.
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It's been a year now, and Arnie's about to turn 19, 19! Amy got a job at a bakery, Ellen finally got to switch highschools, and I am pretty much able to do whatever I want. It's what I've always waned, isn't it? So why doesn't it feel as good as I always imagined it would? I guess it's because Mama's gone.
So yeah, I finally got what I wanted, but what a price I had to pay. But that's alright, there's no use dwelling in the past. Mama would have wanted me to be happy. And I will be. I have a whole new life ahead of me, and I'm ready to live it.
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Have you ever prepared yourself for something that you knew one day would come? You get this vision in your head of how things will play out and how you will cope and what not. You do this for big events, weather they be happy or sad ones, that you know are coming, and after a while you say to yourself, 'Alright, I'm ready.' And you really believe it too. You really believe that you're going to be able to handle this life changing event without much difficulty.
Have you ever done this? If you have, then let me ask you this, when did you realize that it was all bullshit?
The truth is, you can prepare and tell yourself you're ready all you like, but it's all one big lie. Because in the end, when it's all said and done, you're never ready. And saying that you are is just a mind game you play on yourself to soften the blow.
That's what it was like when Mama died. I knew it would happen one day, and I, like an idiot, thought I was ready for it. But I wasn't.
Not now. Not so soon. Not after I finally learned to appreciate her. Why now? Why did God have to take her now?
And that's another thing. Everybody says that God is so great and that he does everything for a reason. Well what good reason could there possibly be for this? What good reason is there to take a woman away from the family that needs her? Is it to teach us responsibility? Well, if there truly is a God, then he sure has a cruel way of thinking.
But wait! Maybe this is all a mistake. Maybe she's just in a deep sleep. But no, no matter how hard I try, she won't wake up. And she never will. She will continue to stay in her slumber, just like Sleeping Beauty.
It's funny how I never realized it before, but Mama really is beautiful. Probably the most beautiful person I've ever seen. And I don't mean just physically. I mean mentally, emotionally and everything in between. She was definitely a one in a kind gal. She's gonna make a great angel. And maybe now she can finally be with daddy again.
And then Ellen brings me back to reality. 'There's gonna be a crowd.' And she's right. It would take a crane to get Mama out of here. Of course there's gonna be a crowd. And why? Because we live in a sick society where people get pleasure out of other people's misery. Well not this time. No. These people are gonna have to get their kicks some place else. I've hurt Mama too many times in the past and I'm through with that. She's not a joke. And there's no way I'm ever gonna let her be one again. She started her life here, and it's only right that she ends it here. It's finally time to say goodbye.
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It's been a year now, and Arnie's about to turn 19, 19! Amy got a job at a bakery, Ellen finally got to switch highschools, and I am pretty much able to do whatever I want. It's what I've always waned, isn't it? So why doesn't it feel as good as I always imagined it would? I guess it's because Mama's gone.
So yeah, I finally got what I wanted, but what a price I had to pay. But that's alright, there's no use dwelling in the past. Mama would have wanted me to be happy. And I will be. I have a whole new life ahead of me, and I'm ready to live it.