Naruto Primer: Akimichi Chouji
Angels and Devils
Chouji was on his way to training. Asuma had declared that they were going to do some REAL training today and no amount of chuunin vest fluffing was going to get them out of it. That made Chouji somewhat sad.
He didn't really want to train. Of course he wanted to be a ninja, but he just wanted to wake up as an awesome ninja. It's not like that was going to happen and, as much as he wanted to be as cool as Shikamaru, he REALLY REALLY didn't want to train.
He was now standing outside that restaurant with the grill in the middle where they could cook the food right then and there.
"Hm…should I blow off training and get something to eat?" he wondered to himself. "Or should I show up and eventually end up back here anyway?"
Suddenly, the familiar little Ino devil appeared on his shoulder.
"Come on, pig out!!" she yelled. "What's the point of training on an empty stomach anyway?!"
"Yeah, you're right!" said Chouji. Then he looked at his other shoulder and paused for a second. Then he looked back at Ino. "What about Shikamaru? Shouldn't he be here to tell me to go train?"
"I don't know." Said Ino, shrugging. "But who cares?! Go get something to eat! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!!"
That's when a little angel Shikamaru appeared on Chouji's other shoulder.
"Thank god you're here, Shikamaru!" said Chouji. "Ino was just about to convince me to blow off training."
Shikamaru sighed. "Training is so troublesome…" he said.
"…What?" said Chouji.
"Just eat." Shikamaru said. "The real me will probably be here any minute after getting out of training so don't even bother just walking all the way to the training spot only to have to walk right back."
"For once, I agree with Shikamaru!" said Ino.
"Well, if Shikamaru says so…" Chouji said slowly. Suddenly, a faint little 'NOOOOOO!' was heard and then there was a poof. The tiny figure of Lee in an angel outfit was standing next to Shikamaru.
"Don't listen to this shmuck!" said Lee. "You MUST train! By training, you can get better!!"
"Lee?" said Chouji, looking confused.
That's when there was a red poof on Ino's side and Neji in a devil outfit appeared. "You can't get better." He said. "You can try, but you can't change your fate. You are what you are and what you are…is a loser."
"TRAIN!!!" Lee yelled, throwing punches. "TRAIN!! TRAIN!!"
"What's the point?" Neji argued. "There are so many people who are better than you are. You might as well just STAY a genin. It's the life you're fit for."
"Right on!" said Ino.
"Well, that's not true, I'm just saying that you should blow off training TODAY." Shikamaru said.
"You should train EVERY DAY!!" Lee yelled.
"I don't know who to listen to!!" Chouji said, blocking his ears.
"Listen to me!" came a voice as an angel figure of Sasuke appeared. "Neji's got a point. You'll never get better than people who are awesome like me. But you could always get better than people who are not quite as awesome."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Chouji asked.
"It means that you can be the strongest of the weak." Sasuke replied. "Or the weakest of the strong. But only if you train. If you don't train then you'll only be the weakest of the weak. Leave that position to Naruto."
"HEY!!" came Naruto's voice as he formed as a devil on Chouji's shoulder. "I resent that! Don't listen to him, Chouji. Training's important and all, but eating is FAR more important!"
"See, Naruto?" sighed Sasuke. "This is why you'll always be the weakest of the weak. Don't listen to him, Chouji. Don't let this happen to you."
"What do you mean?!" demanded Naruto as smoke puffed out his nose and he held his pitchfork threateningly.
"TRAIN TRAIN TRAIN!!" Lee screamed.
"It's your destiny to be weak, don't bother fighting it." Neji said.
"This is so troublesome…" sighed Shikamaru.
"Why bother killing yourself over this?" asked Ino. "Just eat!"
"This is so confusing!" whined Chouji.
That's when a little angel Kiba appeared. "Don't worry, Chouji, I'LL be the voice of reason around here." He said. "You have to train! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!"
As soon as he finished, a devil Akamaru appeared and barked.
"Hey, Akamaru!" said Kiba. "You're not COOL being a devil. Don't listen to Akamaru, Chouji, he has NO idea what he's talking about."
"Uh…" started Chouji but Akamaru started barking.
"It's NOT pointless!!" Kiba yelled at Akamaru angrily. "Don't make me come over there and beat some sense into you, Akamaru!"
"You can't come over here!" said Naruto. "The left shoulder is for devils only!"
"That is SO lame." Said Sasuke, rolling his eyes.
"Have you made up your mind yet?" asked Neji.
"TRAIN TRAIN TRAIN!!!" yelled Lee louder than ever.
"Come on, Chouji, listen to me!" said Ino. "I was right last time, wasn't I?"
Shikamaru only had his fingers in his ears and his head down.
"Aw man, I wish someone would just tell me the right thing to do!" yelled Chouji.
On cue, two angel forms of Shino and Hinata appeared. "Don't be a quitter." Said Shino. "I hate quitters."
"Fight hard to change yourself!" said Hinata. "I believe in you!"
In response, devil Sakura and Tenten appeared on the other side. "Well I don't!" said Tenten. "There's no way you could ever be as good a ninja as half the people who are sitting on your shoulder!"
"No matter how hard you train, nothing will really come out of it." Sakura agreed. "I mean, look at me! I studied and worked hard but where am I? I am absolutely nowhere. That's where. Don't waste time and effort like I did."
"He's not wasting any time or any effort!!" yelled Kiba. "No effort is wasted as long as he's trying hard!!" Akamaru barked. "That's it, Akamaru, I'm coming over there right now!!" Kiba disappeared and then reappeared on the devil side, grabbing Akamaru and shaking him around violently.
"Hey, you can't be over here!!" yelled Naruto.
"Well, if he's over here then I'm going over there with Sasuke!" said Ino.
"Hey, so am I!!" said Sakura.
"Me too!" said Tenten as the three of them disappeared and reappeared on the angel side to find that Sasuke wasn't there. Sasuke was hiding in Chouji's hair.
"Come on, Chouji, train train train!!" yelled Lee.
"That's getting REALLY annoying." Said Neji.
"I DECLARE WAR ON THE ANGELS!!!" yelled Naruto.
"Stupid Naruto…" everyone thought at the same time.
"I CAN'T THINK!!!" yelled Chouji as he started running around in circles. When he stopped, it was silent. There were no more angels and no more devils on his shoulders. "Aw…" he said, looking on the angel side. "I accidentally killed the Shikamaru…"
"No, I'm right here." Came Shikamaru's voice. Chouji looked up to see the real Shikamaru standing right there.
"Oh, hi Shikamaru!" said Chouji. "So… are you on your way to training with Asuma?"
"I've been there and back." Shikamaru replied. "He says never mind. Do you want to get something to eat?"
"You bet I do!" said Chouji as he and Shikamaru went in that restaurant with the grill in the middle where they could cook the food right then and there.
If any one of you artists out there have MAD drawing skills, we would just love it if you illustrated this chapter. Just one picture. It would be awesome and we would worship you and give our undying thanks. It's just that…well, we can't really draw all that great but we would love to see all these people in little devil and angel outfits on Chouji's shoulder! Thanks!