Naruto Primer: Uchiha Itachi
Amnesia
Kiba was playing with Akamaru quite contently when, all of sudden, Naruto just popped out from a bush. "KIBA!" he yelled.
"WHAT?!" Kiba demanded.
"Look, I've been thinking about Sasuke's evil brother lately and I was just walking around and all of sudden…I SAW him." Naruto explained in a very quiet voice.
"He's back?" said Kiba. "Already? I thought he was going to let us live longer!"
"I guess this was long enough!" said Naruto.
"Then let's get out of here!" Kiba said.
"WAIT!" said Naruto. "I was thinking…maybe we'd be able to beat him! Then, we wouldn't have to worry about running away from him all the time!"
"Beat…Sasuke's evil brother?" Kiba said with a raised eyebrow. "Not likely, Naruto."
"Come on!" said Naruto. "It's not like we'll be able to run from him forever! We might as well surprise him instead of him surprising us."
Kiba didn't look like he was going to budge. Then Akamaru barked at him. "I am NOT a pussy, Akamaru!" he yelled. "You can say that because you don't have Sasuke's evil brother trying to kill you!!" But Akamaru argued with him and they argued back and forth for a minute before Kiba finally looked at Naruto. "Fine, we can try."
"Good, just follow me!" said Naruto as he ran off. Kiba followed him around in the woods for a little while until they both stopped and jumped behind a tree. Peering around the corner, they could see Itachi standing in the middle of a clearing with his beautiful flowery cloak, looking upwards.
"On second thought, I don't think I want to do this." Said Naruto.
"Just look at him!" said Kiba. "He looks like he hasn't moved for a real long time. He is SO zoned out right now. If we're going to kill him, we should do it now!"
"I don't know, maybe we should get some people to back us up…" said Naruto nervously.
"Now YOU'RE the one being the pussy." Said Kiba.
"Fine." Said Naruto, not liking being called a pussy. "How are we going to do it though?"
"Well, considering my brash and abrasive nature, the only idea I can think up is to blindly charge and then jump him!" Kiba answered.
"Since I have a similar nature, that's the only idea I can think of too!!" Naruto agreed. "So, on the count of three, we charge him and try to knock him over! One…two…THREE!!!"
Naruto and Kiba both leapt out from behind the tree and charged as fast as they could at Itachi while yelling their battle cries. Itachi had time only to turn his head slightly before he was dove upon and then knocked to the ground.
After a moment of lying there, Kiba and Naruto slowly rose from their positions to find that Itachi was lying completely immobile. "…Did we kill him?" Kiba wondered as he stood up.
"No way!" said Naruto as he sprung up as well. "It's just a trick!!"
They stood there for another minute.
Finally, Kiba took it upon himself to hesitantly roll Itachi over onto his back to find that he was FULLY unconscious.
"Whoa." Said Kiba. "That's him, isn't it?"
"No." said Naruto. "It's a log or something."
After another minute of waiting for something to happen, Lee suddenly came running up.
"HEY GUYS!!!" he yelled, slapping them both on the back. They both jumped a mile up in the air and spun around just as Lee noticed Itachi's unconscious body. "GASP!! ISN'T THAT SASUKE'S EVIL BROTHER?!"
"SHHHH!!" yelled Kiba and Naruto.
"We're going to try to sneak away before he wakes up." Said Naruto.
"Hey, I thought we were going to kill him!" said Kiba. "Now would be the perfect time!"
"I think you should let Sasuke do it." said Lee.
Just then, Itachi's eyes opened.
"GASP!!" gasped Lee, Kiba and Naruto as they ran and hid behind a tree as fast as they could.
Itachi slowly sat up and put his hand on his head. "Oww…" he moaned. "What happened? Where am I?"
He started looking around and stood up, looking rather distressed. "Is anyone there?" he asked.
"Hey guys, he looks pretty sad." Lee whispered.
"It's just a trick!!" Naruto hissed. "Obviously you don't know the whole story behind Sasuke's evil brother!"
"No." Lee confessed.
"He killed the whole clan!" Naruto explained.
"Well I knew that." Lee said.
"That's the whole story!" Naruto said. "If you knew that then you should know that he's EVIL and obviously tricking us so he can kill us!"
"Let's get out of here!" said Kiba. The other two agreed and ran off.
Itachi meanwhile, was utterly confused. He couldn't remember how he had gotten to this random little place in the woods. In fact, he couldn't remember much of anything! But, now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember anything at all!
He felt the little bump on his head. "I've somehow lost my memory!" he concluded. "What am I going to do?"
He wandered around for a little while. "Something's gotta jog my memory if I just look at familiar surroundings…" he said. Then he was faced with a pleasant town, Konoha Village. "Ah, a town. This must be where I live. I must have been out on a walk and tripped."
He entered the village and started walking down the streets. He seemed to either not notice or simply disregard the fact that everyone was cowering in fear and gasping when he passed. "Nothing's really ringing a bell." He sighed. "If only I could find someone who knew me…I can assume that my family is worried about me…"
At the sound of an unusually loud gasp, Itachi turned around to see a boy standing there. Itachi knew right away that this boy was somehow related to him, not by his memory but just by looking to see their uncanny resemblance. "You MUST be related to me." Said Itachi.
"I am." Said Sasuke.
"Then YOU surely know who I am." Itachi said.
"Of course I know who you are!" yelled Sasuke angrily. "You're my evil older brother who I have sworn to kill; Uchiha Itachi!!"
It was Itachi's turn to gasp. "Evil?" he said. "Sworn to kill?! Why do you want to kill me?!"
"WHY?!" Sasuke yelled, looking more offended than he ever has in his life. "WHY DO I WANT TO KILL YOU?! WHY DO YOU THINK?!"
"Out of all honesty, younger brother, I have lost my memory." Itachi said.
All of Sasuke's battle aura deflated. "What?" he said.
"I am utterly confused and all I wish for is to go home!" Itachi announced.
"How did you lose your memory?!" Sasuke demanded.
"I think I bumped my head…" Itachi said, rubbing the bump on his head.
"Aw man!" groaned Sasuke. "I can't kill him while he's like this! There would be no sense of satisfaction if I did! Everything I ever worked for would be pointless! It wouldn't be a REAL fight!"
"I'm sure mother and father are very worried about me." Itachi said.
At that comment, Sasuke was thrown into the deep end again. Just when he was about to use his fire move that never works, all of the jounins in the entire village dropped down from the sky and landed in front of him.
"How DARE you show your face here!!" said some random jounin. "…Again!!"
"Wait, no, this is my fight!!" Sasuke yelled, trying to get past the jounins but they were a brick wall.
"What do you mean?" Itachi asked, looking hurt. "What could I have possibly done to make everyone hate me so? Even my younger brother who is supposed to love and adore and admire me!"
"ADMIRE YOU?!?!" yelled Sasuke as he bypassed the fire move completely and moved right to building up for the Chidori. Some random jounin who had obviously been informed about Sasuke's mental instability when it came to defeating Itachi, just turned around and tapped him lightly on the forehead.
"Sleep." Said the random jounin. And Sasuke fell to the ground, sleeping.
"Don't do that to my brother." Said Itachi. "I'm sure he's just playing."
"Were you JUST PLAYING when you killed the entire Uchiha clan?!" demanded some OTHER random jounin.
Itachi didn't respond. All of a sudden, he got a rush of memories that all seemed to flow back into him at the same time. "Oh right…" he said. "Now I remember. It's all coming back to me now." Then he pulled the collar of his flowery cloak up so it covered all but his eyes which he promptly Sharingan-ified for the effect. "Thank you, gentlemen." He said. "I take my leave now."
With that, there was a swirl of cherry blossoms and other pretty flowers that matched Itachi's cloak and then he was gone.