[A/N This song is by Michelle Branch. It's called "Finding My Way Back". She makes the most awesome songs and she's got the most meaningful lyrics. When I heard this one I thought "Hey!!! It sounds like it's about Squall and Rinoa!" Right away, I knew I'd make a song-fic. Lol. Anyway, It's kind of long, for a songfic anyway. It's post-game and there are a ton of spoilers so if you haven't played the game yet, I suggest you don't read this.]
I use to get away so much
Now I can't get away
I even thought that it was simple
To say the things I wanted to say
"...I was scared." She whispered. I stood up. She was okay after all. That strange beating in my heart stopped.
Rinoa clumsily tried to get up and grabbed my hand. "Really, really scared."
"You're used to battles aren't you?" I asked hastily, trying to shake her off.
"I just couldn't..." She looked down,
causing her hair to fall across her face. "I couldn't fight alone."
I shook my head. She wasn't ready. She couldn't take all of this.
I walked away and she followed behind. She grabbed my arm, making me stop.
"I still haven't forgotten your order." She whispered.
"Just stay close to me." I told her. Rinoa nodded quickly.
When I said those words, I felt a new sensation. Something I hadn't felt in years. I didn't know what it was. I didn't know why I felt it. But I didn't want it to leave.
Just stay close to me.
When you told me
Everything I wanted to hear
And you sold me
Now I don't know how I should feel
I should know me
But baby you'd think I'd know better
Hoah-woah, yeah
"Oh, you're just a great leader aren't you?" I asked Squall angrily. "Do you have fun enjoy being so callous towards your comrades?"
In reply, he only rolled his eyes. I could already feel his annoyance but I wasn't going to stop now.
"Zell wants your support! Don't you even care about the well-being of your comrades?"
He sighed in his usual silent way.
I wanted to sigh with frustration. "Are you listening, Squall?"
I didn't understand how Squall could be cold to his friends. Or did he even consider them friends? He had to care about them. I hadn't ever met someone who tried to get away from people before. But that was before I met Squall.
I stared into his blue-gray eyes. They looked so sure yet so empty... lost even. I frowned and he stared at me with confusion.
He started to say something when instead he grabbed his forehead with pain. My heart jumped. What was wrong?
I heard someone squeal behind me, Selphie had fallen. So had Quistis.
I looked around with fear. The only person besides me who hadn't fainted was Zell.
"What's wrong?" I asked nervously.
"I think... they've gone to the dream world." He told me.
"What? Dream world?"
"It's hard to explain. Mainly, we've been having dreams about us being the same people and... we don't get it ourselves."
"When will they wake up? They
will, right?"
"Yeah but I dunno when... thirty minutes... an hour maybe."
I frowned and stared at Squall's sleeping face. He looked so calm, child-like. Almost scared.
I smiled to myself. I sat down with my knees in front of me and stared at him.
I noticed a ring on Squall's hand. I stared at it curiously. I reached out to touch it and felt Squall's hand instead. I pulled my hand back and blushed even though I knew he was sleeping and couldn't have felt it.
He looked so unsure of himself even in his sleep, so unlike the Squall I knew in reality.
Looking behind me, I saw Zell grinning mischievously. "What?" I asked.
"Nothing."
Suddenly I heard a sound behind me.
I turned to Squall and I saw him, open his eyes and blink a few times.
"Laguna again?" I heard Zell ask behind me.
I turned around and Selphie and Quistis had also awakened.
"From the way your speaking it doesn't seem like this is the first time for this to happen." Quistis said.
They talked some more about it and I didn't really understand. When we were about to leave and Squall was still there, I turned to him.
"Hey, Squall, look I think I might've said too much. I'm sorry." I told him.
"Forget about it."
I nodded.
After seeing him in his sleeping form, I knew he wasn't cold at all. He couldn't fool me.
I'm finding my way back to you
And everything I use to be
And leaving is all I can do
Until you find your way back to me
"...I'm going to find Rinoa."
"You didn't need my help at all." Ellone told me, she looked proud.
I looked at her and said, "Thanks... Sis'." I felt like she had never gone. And I wished she hadn't.
I walked away and to the exit. Quistis fell out of her seat and I heard her yell, "Squall?!"
I heard another voice. "Fool! He'll never
make it!"
I didn't care.
Staring at the stars in front of me, I remembered the night of our meeting. The dance.
"I'm coming, Rinoa." I said under my breath.
I looked around for about two minutes before I saw her floating away. Quickly, I made my way there pushing against everything.
I struggled. I felt the pressure pushing against me. I was almost out of fuel and energy.
Quickly, I reached out and grabbed her with both my arms.
"Squall..." She said. Her voice told me she was out of breath.
Both of us were nearly out of life support. But I knew, just knew we would make it.
What if I said what I was thinking
What if that says too much
When everybody's got a reason
I feel like giving up
And you told me
Everything I wanted to hear
And you sold me
Now I don't know how I should feel
I should have known me
But baby you'd think I'd know better
Hoah-woah, yeah
"...But Ellone was there, Ellone was there to hold my hand." Squall told me with the utmost seriousness. I listened and slowly I began to understand this lone wolf. "But then she was gone. Just disappeared." He paused. "I've always been afraid... Afraid of having that comfort taken away from me again."
Then everything seemed so simple. I was right.
Squall was afraid. He wasn't cold at all. "You were afraid of losing
us?"
Squall looked down and didn't reply. "Is that why you kept your
distance?"
He looked up at me with those eyes that didn't
look so empty anymore. Just scared. "I was always
alone..."
Instantly, I felt great pity and sympathy on everything Squall's been through.
"Squall..." I whispered and held on to him closer trying to make up
for his all burdens.
"I've always liked it like this." I said. "I always liked being held by my mom. My dad too, back when we got along." I said to him.
"I'm not your mom." He told me.
I laughed lightly. "Of course not. But right now, you're the one who gives me... the most comfort." I fiddle with my hands and don't look at him. "Comfort and happiness." I say.
He doesn't reply. This time I look at him. "And annoyance and disappointment too." I move around in his strong arms.
"We'll make it back, right?" I ask him. "I guess when we're back we can't... stay together." I whisper.
"No one can predict the future. There's no guarantee. Those were your words, Rinoa." The plain expression on his face tells me he doesn't know. He still doesn't know.
"That's not what I meant." I gently began playing with his griever. Touching it lightly and turning around.
After a moment of silence, he says quietly. "You should sit down now."
"Just..." I close my eyes. "...a little bit longer."
I stay there quietly, just cherishing the moment I may never have again.
"You'll be safer in your seat." Squall says.
I look up at him and swiftly move away. The chair feels so cold in contrast to Squall's warm embrace.
"They'll all... be mad at me." I say this louder than I intend to. He looks at me with eyes like question marks.
Suddenly the speaker sounds.
"Ragnarok come in..." I say. I tune out and stare outside. Soon we'd land and I'd be taken away.
"...How many of you are there?" I hear the speaker say.
"Just two..." Squall replies. I stare at him and he still seems confused.
"Your names?"
"Squall. I'm a SeeD from Balamb Garden."
"And the other?"
I realize that I am holding my breath, waiting for Squall to say my name and to see the reaction coming.
"Rinoa."
I close my eyes.
"Rinoa? The sorceress? She's there?"
Squall turns to me sharply as if to say, 'You're a sorceress?'
I hold back my tears. "It's true. I'm a sorceress now, Squall." I whisper. "No one would want to go near me now. I'm scared..."
He looks like he's unsure of what to say. I guess he's not one who comforts frequently. I don't really care. I don't know what to do either.
"I'm scared, Squall." I say again. I begin to shake. I'm unable to hold back my tears. I break into quiet sobs and hide my face on my knees.
Suddenly, I hear movement. When I look up, Squall's beside me.
Instantly, I cling to him. He gently rests my head on his shoulder and holds me tight.
I was afraid.
I'm finding my way back to you
And everything I use to be
And leaving is all I can do
Until you find your way back to me
Until you find your way back to me
Hoah, until you find your way back to me
"I've made a mistake before... This time, I'm not going to look back." I shook my head and faced the guy straight in the eye, "I'm taking Rinoa with me."
"What?! That's not possible." He said while backing out into another room.
Quistis snapped her whip in a threatening pose. Her eyes flashed and dared anyone to come closer. "Go, Squall!" She told me.
I ran into the room where Rinoa was.
The place was foggy and cold.
Quickly, I spotted Rinoa in the glass cage-like horror. When she spotted me she started banging on the glass. Her eyes showed confusion and regret. I knew then that she truly didn't want to stay in confinement.
"Rinoa!" I yelled. I ran to her and pounded on the glass. It was no use.
"Damn! What am I supposed to do?!" I yelled. In desperation, I pulled out my gunblade and slashed it across the wires.
Mist came out and blocked my view.
"Rinoa...?" I called out quietly. As if answering my call, she slowly appeared.
"Squall!"
She ran to me with open arms and the seconds it took for her to reach me felt like years. Years of separation, waiting, regret and loneliness.
Soon enough, I had her in my arms. I held her tight. I smoothed her hair with my gloved hand as if to make sure that it truly was her. In an answer, she buried her head in my shoulder. Her warm breath felt through my jacket.
"It's okay..." I found myself whispering. "I'm here."
I use to get away so much...
I'm finding my way back to you
And everything I use to be
And leaving is all I can do
Until you find your way back to me
Yeah, Hoah-woah, yeah
And leaving is all I can do
Until you find your way back to me
Woah
"I'll be here..."
I looked at Squall curiously. He looked back at me and I thought I saw him smile.
"Why...?"
"The reason you couldn't find me is because we hadn't promised yet." This seemed to make sense to him. "So, I'll be here. I'll be waiting here, so if you come here..." He paused. "You'll find me. I promise."
I smiled at him. "I'll be here too. It's a
promise, Squall!"
It was then we made our promise.
I knew no matter how much Squall tried to hide or how many times he'd lose himself, I'd find him.
I use to get away so much...