AHOY! "Cory", if you're reading this, we just want you to know that this chapter is dedicated to you, the advocate of pool parties around the world. Even though we must admit that we had this chapter written long before you first reviewed us asking for a pool party, we've kept you waiting in suspense for way too long. So, to repay you, we have decided to dedicate this chapter. To you. Cory. Congratulations. Without further adieu, read and be appeased.
Naruto Primer: All
Pool Party
"Can we go in the pool now?" Ino complained as a commercial started. Everyone was at Chouji's house watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as they waited for the final guest to arrive.
"No, we have to wait until Shikamaru gets here!" Chouji said from his position standing by the window, looking for Shikamaru. "When he says that he's going to be somewhere, he'll be there. Even if it takes him an extra long time!" As soon as he finished saying that, the doorbell rang. Chouji opened it to see Shikamaru standing there holding a little bag of clothes with a towel over his shoulder. "YAY!!" cheered Chouji.
"Hi." Said Shikamaru.
"IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!" yelled all the people who were eager to get in the pool.
They all got up and changed into their bathing suits and met outside at Chouji's humungous pool. For some reason, Chouji had decided to throw a pool party and everyone was invited!!
Of course, it didn't start out that way. At first he was only going to invite Shikamaru but he figured he should invite Ino too because they're on the same team. Then he figured that Ino would feel uncomfortable without any other girls so he invited the three other girls too. But then there was an imbalance of girls and boys so he figured he'd just invite all his crazy classmates!! Then he felt bad for not inviting Neji and Lee so he invited them too.
"FIRST ONE IN THE POOL!!!" Lee yelled as he leapt into the pool as if he was going to do a dive but then belly flopped at the last second. He had a green Speedo, much to everyone's dismay!
"That's not how you do a dive, this is!!" said Naruto as he jumped off the edge clad in his red bathing suit and then ended up belly flopping pretty much exactly how Lee did.
Sasuke walked up to the edge of the pool and looked down at Naruto and Lee who were recovering just so he could see the full extent of their failure to impress everyone. He was wearing his dark blue trunks with the little Uchiha fan on one of the legs.
"CANNON BALL!!!" yelled Chouji as he got a running start and then cannon balled into the water. He didn't bother even attempting to dive because he knew he couldn't. He was wearing one of those full piece man's bathing suits with the candy cane stripes. No one was about to tell him that he looked like a fool child since he had, after all, nicely invited them all to swim in his pool.
That's when both Sakura and Ino came out of the house in their bathing suits.
"I'M READY!!" they both sang at the same time.
Then they looked at each other.
They had…the EXACT same flowery bikinis except Sakura's was pink and Ino's was yellow. "HEY!!" yelled Sakura. "You copied me!!"
"No, I got this bathing suit a LONG time ago!" Ino said, crossing her arms.
"Well it doesn't matter who got theirs first, it's just who looks better." Said Sakura.
"It shouldn't really matter." Said Tenten, wearing her green sporting bathing suit.
"Can anyone help me with the sunscreen on my back?" Hinata asked. She was wearing a precious little bathing suit that had a little skirt and frilly sleeves.
Kiba suddenly appeared behind her and took a deep breath. "I will." He said, sounding EVER so nervous. He had on an orange bathing suit. But this orange bathing suit was special. It had DRAWSTRINGS!!
"Okay!" said Hinata innocently.
"Is it okay if I use this, Chouji?" Shikamaru asked, picking up an inner tube that was on the side of the pool.
"Of course you can, Shikamaru!" said Chouji. "You don't have to ask every time!"
Shikamaru took the inner tube and got into the water via the stairs. Then he put it around himself and hung over it. He probably wasn't going to move from that spot and just allow the course of the water to take him. He got in as fast as he could, of course, because he was a little embarrassed about the new chuunin bathing suit that his father had forced him to bring.
Shino wasn't wearing a bathing suit. Don't be silly, he wasn't in his birthday suit, you goose! He was still wearing all his clothes. "I already said, I don't do water." Shino said as he whipped out a magnifying glass and started looking around for bugs.
"Why don't you do water?" Neji asked. He was just standing idly by in his gray bathing suit and his waterproof bandana that not only kept his hair out of his eyes but hid his horrible forehead mark from the world!
"Just think about it." said Shino. "If you had a million bugs in your body, then how waterproof do you think you'd be?"
"EWWWW!!!" yelled all the girls.
Neji was a little grossed out but otherwise unaffected so he sat down on the edge of the pool and put his feet in the water. No one had to know that he didn't know how to swim.
"Thank you, Kiba, let's go in the water now!" said Hinata as Kiba finished applying the sunscreen on her back.
"I don't really like going swimming." Kiba said.
"Do you not know how?" Hinata asked, looking concerned.
"Of course I know how!" said Kiba. "Remember I did the swimming event in the second triathlon? I just don't like swimming all that much."
"But it'll be fun!" Hinata said.
"Hinata, are you going to tan with us?" Sakura asked as she, Ino and Tenten walked by Hinata.
"No, I'm going swimming." Hinata replied.
"That's okay then!" said Tenten.
"I'm going to go and tan over by Sasuke and maybe he'll look at me in my bikini that I look better in than Sakura!!" said Ino as she ran over to one of the lawn chairs that was closest to where Sasuke was just standing, LOOKING at the pool as if he wanted to go in it but part of him didn't.
"Hey!!" said Sakura as she ran over there as well. "Then I'm tanning here too!" Tenten soon joined them in the tanning near Sasuke. It didn't really work because Sasuke was just about to get in the water anyway.
He sat himself down on the edge of the water and eased himself into the deep end right away.
"Sasuke, it took you long enough to get in the water!" said Naruto as he swam over to Sasuke and hung on the wall.
"Psht." Said Sasuke, looking disgusted. "Just because I didn't belly flop in like you did doesn't mean a thing."
"HEY!" said Naruto. "I bet you couldn't dive any better!!"
"Whatever, Naruto." Said Sasuke. "I don't feel like getting into a battle with you right now so just leave me alone."
"You have to now!!" Naruto yelled. "It's a challenge!! You're just being a chicken if you back down now!!"
"Back down from what?!" Lee asked eagerly as he swam over.
"Sasuke thinks he can dive better than me." Said Naruto.
"I never said that." Said Sasuke. "But, yes, it is true. It doesn't take much to dive better than you."
"LET'S HAVE A DIVING CONTEST!!!" Lee yelled. "ME AGAINST YOU AGAINST YOU AND THEN WE COULD GET OTHER PEOPLE INVOLVED TOO!!!"
"No." said Sasuke.
"Aw…" said Lee sadly.
"Let's at least play a game then!" said Naruto, looking around to see what was at his disposal. "How about water basketball?! Let's play that! And me and Sasuke will be on different teams!!"
"And I want to be on the same team as you, Naruto, just so I can be on a different team than Sasuke!!" Lee said.
"But those teams seem a little uneven…" said Naruto, scratching his chin. "We'll cream Sasuke if it's like that…"
"I know!" said Lee as he called across the pool. "NEJI!! PLAY WATER BASKETBALL WITH US!!"
"No, that's all right." Neji replied.
"You have to or else the teams will be unfair!" said Lee, looking determined.
"I don't want to get my hair wet." Said Neji.
"You're at a pool party." Naruto reminded him.
"I don't want to get my hair wet either." Sasuke said. "It looks really silly."
"Then let's play in the shallow end!" said Lee since he was obviously really pumped to play against Sasuke AND Neji. "Can you two deal with shallow end?"
"As long as we don't go in the deep end." Neji said. "…Because…uh… I don't want to get my hair wet."
The four of them then retreated to the shallow end of the pool where Chouji and Shikamaru were hangin' out.
"What are you guys playing?" Chouji asked.
"Water basketball!!" said Lee.
"Can I play?" Chouji asked.
"SURE!!!" said Lee without thinking.
"Now the teams are uneven!" complained Naruto.
"I'll sit out." Said Neji who still hadn't got in the pool yet.
"Kiba, why don't you play?" Hinata asked Kiba. They were both standing on the stairs that led into the pool, slowly easing themselves in.
"Play what?" Kiba asked.
"WATER BASKETBALL!!" Lee yelled.
"I don't really want to go in the pool…" Kiba said.
"What are you…a pussy?" said Naruto, trying to even out the teams.
"NO!!" Kiba yelled, shaking his fist angrily at Naruto. "I'm playing then!"
"Now you don't have to sit out, Neji!!" said Lee.
"Oh…good." Said Neji, trying to save face as he stepped down the stairs. It was okay as long as he didn't go TOO deep.
"I'll cheer you guys on!" said Hinata.
Meanwhile, the other three girls were tanning and doing girl talk. "Okay, so if you had to marry someone on your team, and you could ONLY marry someone on your team, who would it be?" Sakura asked. "Personally, I'm torn between Sasuke and Naruto."
"Shut up." Said Ino.
"So who would you choose?" Sakura pushed. "Chouji or Shikamaru?"
"I don't know!" groaned Ino. "I'd rather stay single!"
"What if someone had a gun pointed to your head and said that if you didn't marry one of them and let them father your children then who would you choose?" Tenten said.
"Oh…um…" Ino said, truly perplexed. "I don't know! I guess Shikamaru!!"
"EEEE!!" giggled Tenten and Sakura.
"Be quiet you two!" said Ino. "We all know who SAKURA would choose, what about you, Tenten? Either Neji or Lee!"
"I think we already went through this at the slumber party." Tenten said. "I wouldn't want to bring more children in the world that looked like Lee and I just can't see Neji being a good father!"
"What if someone had a gun to your head?" Ino said slyly.
"Uh…" Tenten said slowly. "Lee's just…so ugly…but Neji's…such a bastard… they're like complete opposites!"
"Are you so shallow that you'd go for looks over personality?" Sakura said but she was one to talk.
"Yeah…" Tenten said, looking somewhat ashamed. "Out of all honesty, I think I would probably choose Neji…"
"EEEE!!" squealed Sakura and Ino.
"Well what about YOU Shino?" said Tenten, leaning over to Shino who was on the other side of her. You could say that he was tanning, but he was still wearing his overcoat.
"Considering Kiba's both male and really obnoxious, I would choose Hinata." Said Shino simply.
"I guess those reasons make sense." Ino shrugged.
During all this nonsensical girl talk, the boys minus Shikamaru and Shino were all playing a kicking game of water basketball! Kiba had joined the Neji and Lee team, so that could only mean that Chouji joined that Naruto and Lee team as Hinata cheered for everyone! EQUALLY!! Shikamaru just kind of floated around, trying to avoid the game so he wouldn't be pummeled with a basketball.
"I don't want to get too wet!" said Kiba, holding the ball as he looked at everyone else.
"Yeah, neither do I." Said Sasuke.
"You guys are so lame!" said Naruto. "You come to a pool party and don't want to get wet!"
"I couldn't just turn down the invitation." Said Kiba.
"I am SO not lame." Said Sasuke.
"Prove it!" said Naruto. "Dunk your head under water!"
"I'm not going to do that." Said Sasuke. "I'm just going to beat you at basketball. WITHOUT getting my head wet."
"You're on!!" said Naruto angrily.
"OUR TEAM STARTS WITH THE BALL!!!" declared Lee as he attempted to take the ball away from Kiba.
"No, we already have the ball!" Kiba said, protecting it with all his might.
"Kiba, pass it here." Said Sasuke. Kiba turned around to see Sasuke standing upright on top of the water.
"What the?!" demanded Naruto. "You can't do that!!"
"I can't?" Sasuke said cockily.
"Not a bad idea!" said Kiba as he jumped up and landed on top of the water as if it was solid ground.
Using the chakra focused in their feet, everyone else did that as well!! Actually, everyone…except for Lee. "Guys, this isn't fair!" he whined. "I call no standing on water or using any other form of ninjutsu!"
"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!!" Naruto yelled as he made ten copies of himself that all stood on the water. "GET THAT BALL!!!"
All of the crazy Narutos jumped at Kiba at the same time but Kiba just passed it to Sasuke. Then all the Narutos made a jump for Sasuke but he only threw the ball to Neji who was standing in front of the net. He figured it was a good a time as any to get his team the lead so he took a shot for the basket but it appeared as though he was TRYING to miss.
Everyone watched the ball sploosh a few yards away from the basket.
"Don't tell me that you suck at ANOTHER thing." Said Kiba, slapping his forehead.
"I've never played basketball before." Said Neji.
"MY BALL!!!" yelled Lee as he started trudging through the water towards where the ball was but Kiba ran over and picked it up before Lee was even half way there. "This isn't fair, guys!! Everyone just get back in the water! We're playing WATER basketball!"
"You're only saying that because you can't stand on the water like we can." Said Kiba.
"Well obviously." Lee said.
While Kiba was distracted by the argument with Lee, one of the Narutos ran over and stole the ball from him, made it's way towards the basket and did a very dramatic slam dunk. "YEAH!!!" he yelled, doing a victory dance. "MY TEAM IS THE BEST!!!"
"We can't cover ALL the Narutos." Said Sasuke. "We have to take them out."
"I'LL take care of that!" said Kiba.
"…How about we ALL take care of that?" said Neji.
"I'll tell you which is the real Naruto." Said Sasuke, using his Sharingan. "It's that one. The one that made the slam-dunk. Punch the rest of them so we can get rid of them."
"That was unnecessary!" Lee complained. "Let's play this game as if we WEREN'T ninjas!"
"But we ARE ninjas." Said Chouji even though he was pretty much standing there watching like a fool like Lee was.
"If you guys can't play fair then I'm going to start playing dirty too!" Lee announced.
"How?" said Sasuke in a cruel tone. "You can't use any ninjutsu or genjutsu so what are you going to do?"
"THIS!" said Lee as he grabbed both of Kiba's legs, lifted him up in the air and then tossed him into the deep end. Kiba yelled the whole way and then was silenced by the water but as soon as he resurfaced, he was hopping mad! He doggy paddled to the nearest edge and quickly got out, shaking himself off slightly.
"What was that all about?!" he yelled angrily.
"You guys aren't being fair and if you don't play nice then I'm going to be mean to everyone!" Lee said, crossing his arms.
"Kiba, are you all right?" Hinata asked as she came running over to him with her towel. "I couldn't find your towel so you can just use mine!"
"Okay!" said Kiba, suddenly happy again as he took her towel gladly. It smelled like Hinata all over.
"You're certainly a poor sport." Said Sasuke as he watched Lee trudge over to where he was standing. Lee grabbed both Sasuke's ankles but Sasuke only WATCHED. "Just try to pick me up. I've got all my chakra focused in my feet."
"And that's your mistake." Shikamaru called from his inner tube.
"What?" said Sasuke just as Lee pulled DOWN and submerged Sasuke completely under the water.
"GO ME!!" said Lee, standing back up. "I beat Sasuke!!"
When Sasuke resurfaced, he looked SO evil with his Sharingan eyes but no one could really take him seriously because his hair did look rather silly. So then he just got kind of inferior and decided that he wanted to get out of the pool and pout in the corner by himself.
"I'll get your towel!!" said Sakura since she was watching Sasuke's every move and wanted to be the first to bring his towel to him.
Neji took this opportunity to get out of the pool so that nothing potentially bad could happen to him so he walked over to the ladder, climbed out and then started making his way around the pool to get his towel. Unfortunately for Neji, Sakura came sprinting by, crashed into him and then knocked him into the pool. Even MORE unfortunately for Neji, they crashed into each other while standing right next to the DEEP END and he is NOT the strongest swimmer. So he sank like a rock.
"OH NO!!!" Lee gasped, slapping his cheeks as he shot himself off like a torpedo towards the deep end and grabbed Neji. Then he pushed off the bottom of the pool and, now in the form of a rocket, smashed through the diving board and landed on the side of the pool. "YEAH!!!" Lee cheered as he Judo chopped a giant rock that was off to the side in Chouji's yard just to show everyone that he had ninja skills too.
Neji was still a little bewildered as if he wasn't exactly sure of what just happened.
Everyone was in a similar situation. They had heard a SPLASH then Lee yell then a SMASH of the diving board and then a CRUSH of the rock and then Lee cheer.
"Wha…?" said everyone.
"It was nothing!!" Lee announced. "You may all go about your business!!"
When everyone had averted their eyes and gone back to their tasks at hand, Neji turned to Lee. "Uh…thanks Lee." He said. "But don't tell anyone."
"Hey, I didn't tell anyone about the so-called really fast current that swept me away when we were going camping, did I?" said Lee.
"Right." Said Neji as he went off to get his towel on, this time, a little further away from the edge of the pool.
"Sakura, did you even notice that you knocked Neji in the pool?!" Tenten demanded, stomping over to Sakura.
"Uh…no?" Sakura said obliviously, as she handed Sasuke his towel with a little Uchiha fan on it.
Sasuke wrenched the towel out of Sakura's hand and started drying himself off. He was officially grumpy now and wanted to make sure everyone knew about it and suffered for it!
At this point, the only people that were still in the water were Naruto, Chouji and Shikamaru. Lee also "dove" back in to join the fun.
"Hey, not only did our team win by default but Sasuke got his head wet!" laughed Naruto to Chouji and Lee as he lounged on the side of the pool with his arms up on the edge. "I'd say that's a double win for me!!"
"Uh…Naruto?" said Chouji, pointing above Naruto.
Naruto looked up to see Sasuke looming over him. He didn't have much time to react before he was punted across the pool, out of the pool and then into the rubble of the rock Lee had split earlier.
Everyone enjoyed a good chuckle at Naruto as Sasuke left again to continue wallowing in self-pity. Of course, wherever he went to wallow, the girls would try to follow him.
"Hey, Shikamaru, I think it's time you got YOUR hair wet!" said Lee.
"No." sighed Shikamaru. "I'll pass."
"Come on, Shikamaru!" said Chouji. "It'll be fun!"
"No." Shikamaru repeated. "Take a look at my hair. Do you think I want to have to deal with it being wet?"
"Well Sasuke and Neji have to deal with their hair being wet and they didn't want to get it wet." Lee pointed out.
"Yeah but Sasuke's probably just going to let it dry and see what happens." Shikamaru said with a shrug. Then the three of them looked over at Neji who was sitting by himself counting each stroke as he brushed his hair with, "Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven…"
Shino was starting to get a little bored so he grabbed the net on the long rod and started cleaning the leaves out of the pool.
"Hey guys, don't you think we've had enough pool fun for today?" Ino said as she tried to comfort Sasuke but he kept running away.
"I agree!" said everyone who had a bad experience with the pool.
"Aww…" said everyone who had a good experience with the pool. But the people with good experiences were overruled since they were vastly outnumbered considering a bad experience for Sasuke automatically counted as a bad experience for the three girls as well.
"Wow, Shikamaru!" said Chouji, running up to Shikamaru as he wrapped himself in his towel that had the word 'Chuunin' lovingly scripted on it. "That's such a cool towel! Did they give that to you for being a chuunin?"
"Oh…yeah." Said Shikamaru, looking at the towel. "My father insisted that I bring it."
"And you even have a chuunin bathing suit!" Chouji noted.
"It makes me seem a little obsessed, doesn't it?" Shikamaru sighed.
"I think it'd be worth becoming a chuunin just so you can get all the stuff that they give you for no reason." Said Naruto.
Later, Sasuke needed to use the little boy's room but Neji had been in there for the past ten minutes blow-drying his hair. Poor Neji had forgotten to bring his forehead protector into the bathroom with him so he had to venture out to where everyone else was… WITHOUT IT ON!! But they all knew better to not say anything about it because they had all seen the horrible curse seal before.
However, there was ONE person who hadn't seen it before.
"Um…Neji…" said Sasuke, staring right at Neji's forehead. "Uh…you've got… er…something…"
"Do you NOT know anything about the Main House and the Branch House and the horrible curse seal that was placed on my forehead when I was only four years old?!" Neji demanded.
"Well…I do now." Sasuke said with a shrug. "But I've got one too." Then he pointed at his very OWN curse seal that turned him into a Sexy Zebra.
Neji actually looked speechless for a minute. "Well, I was about to go on my forty-five minute long rant about how much it sucks to have a curse seal but… well, I guess you know." He said finally.
"Right, well, now I have to use the bathroom." Said Sasuke, pushing past Neji and shutting the door behind him.
Neji stood out the door for a moment before knocking on it. "Mine's worse, Sasuke, because it's green and on my forehead." He said.
Sasuke opened the door. "Yeah but is yours filled with evil?" he asked, officially in a competition. "Was it given to you in a violent way by some evil guy who wants to someday control you?"
"Well yeah." Said Neji. "My evil uncle."
"Your uncle?" Sasuke said, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, Hinata's father." Neji replied.
"Oh, Hinata's father." Said Sasuke, nodding his head. "Yeah, and I suppose Hinata's father is on the same level of evilness as Orochimaru."
"Uh…" Neji started. "But…the Main House…"
"Orochimaru." Sasuke interrupted. "Neji, just admit it. My curse seal is much more horrible than yours. Now I REALLY have to go to the bathroom." With that, he shut the door on Neji's face.