Naruto Primer: Sasuke/Kiba
Willy Wonka's Factory
Sasuke was hanging around in his favorite thinking spot, taking a break from training and eating some Gushers and drinking some Boppin' Berry HI-C. It was quite peaceful, finally having some alone time to think about things, but he could suddenly hear the footsteps of someone approaching him…FAST. He quickly sucked down the rest of his HI-C, popped the last Gusher in his mouth and hopped up from his seat, in the ready position.
After waiting for a moment, he suddenly saw Akamaru run up and then run right by him. Then Kiba quickly followed after him while yelling at him to come back.
Sasuke gave a heavy sigh that he had gotten himself so worked up over nothing so he pulled out his package of M&M's. As he began to open them, he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder so, in surprise, he threw his arms up in the air, ripping the package in half and having all the M&M's fly all over the place. When he spun around, ready to attack the person, he found it was only Kiba standing there.
"Sorry, you startled me." Said Sasuke, clearing his throat.
"I have to ask you something." Kiba said.
"I don't feel like fighting right now." Sasuke said immediately.
"Oh, I don't want to fight you." Said Kiba. "If you can beat Naruto and Naruto beat me then I know I don't stand a chance against you."
"I see." Said Sasuke, looking a little satisfied. "Then what do you want?"
"Well, it's a question about my love life…" Kiba began.
"I'm not gay." Sasuke said. "I don't know what Sakura's been telling everyone but I am most certainly not…"
"Oh, neither am I." Said Kiba. But Akamaru barked. "No, I'm not. Just ignore Akamaru. He's just trying to be annoying."
"What could you possibly need to ask me about YOUR love life if you don't, in fact, love me?" Sasuke said.
"It's just that…" Kiba started. "All the girls seem to like you. And no girls seem to like me. And I was wondering if you could give me some tips and pointers on how I could get people to like me…"
Sasuke battled internally for a moment as Kiba looked on hopefully. "Well, okay, I guess." He said. "But only because you're the only person who hasn't challenged me to a fight or is in love with me."
"That's good." Said Kiba, looking mildly confused.
"The best thing I can think up is that whenever a girl shows interest in you, you just have to pretend as though you wouldn't even care if she was tumbling off a cliff and calling your name." Sasuke explained. Kiba thought this over for a few seconds.
"Yeah but…no girls have shown interest in me." Kiba said.
"Oh." Said Sasuke. "Well…um…"
"Any ideas?" Kiba asked.
"I'm thinking…" Sasuke said. "You have to tell me who this girl is that you like so I can work off of that cause all the girls are really predictable in their own ways."
Kiba looked a little embarrassed but Akamaru started barking. "Shut up, Akamaru!" said Kiba. "I SO do not like Shino!! As a friend, yeah, but nothing more than that!" He looked at Sasuke. "Just ignore Akamaru! He's being stupid!"
Sasuke sighed. "Considering I can't understand him, I had no idea what he was talking about or if he was even communicating."
"You can't understand him?" Kiba said, looking puzzled.
"Never mind, just tell me who the girl is." Said Sasuke.
"Okay fine, but you can't tell anyone." Kiba said.
"Who am I going to tell?" Sasuke asked.
"Well, I just want to make sure it doesn't pop up during a conversation…"
"Out of all seriousness, what conversation would that potentially pop up in? Who could I POSSIBLY be talking to that would remind me of the fact that you have a crush on some girl?"
"All right then…" said Kiba. "It's…Hinata."
"Oh." Said Sasuke. "I was hoping you wouldn't say her."
"Why?" Kiba asked.
"Because she is the ONE girl who doesn't have a crush on me." Sasuke replied. "So I don't know how I could get her to like you."
"What should we do?" Kiba whined.
"Hm…maybe you could go and ask her questions about what sorts of things she likes and then change yourself based on that." Sasuke suggested. "That's what all the girls do to me."
"I couldn't do that!" said Kiba. "Then she'd KNOW I liked her!"
"You haven't even told you that you like her?" Sasuke said skeptically.
"I'm too embarrassed!" Kiba confessed. "Besides, I'm still exploring my emotions! I don't even know if I REALLY like her, but I'm pretty sure I do!"
"Hm, I guess you ARE sensitive then." Sasuke said. "This is a side of you I've never seen."
"Yeah but don't tell anyone." Kiba said. "Guys aren't supposed to know about this side of me."
"So if you're not going to ask her questions…"
"How about YOU ask her questions?" Kiba said.
"Me?"
"Yeah! You could ask her what she likes about guys and then tell me!"
"All right, I'm done helping you."
"No! You have to!!"
"What's in it for me?"
"Well, you'll never have me challenge you to a fight? Ever? Besides, you already said you'd help! You can't just NOT help me!"
Kiba's current begging was making Sasuke feel very superior. Then it occurred to him that Kiba had given him that proof of purchase to buy that awesome watch, so he figured that he owed him one. "Well…I guess I'll ask her a few questions." He said.
What followed was a lot of shameless groveling that Sasuke wasn't ABOUT to stop! Finally, when he was satisfied, the two went off to go and find Hinata. She was in the local candy store, Willy Wonka's Factory. No, you silly, it's not the REAL Willy Wonka's Factory, it's just the clever name of some tiny little store in the middle of nowhere.
Hinata was filling up a little bag will all sorts of sweets when Sasuke came walking up. She was a little nervous at first because there was no reason why Sasuke should just WALK up to her so, at first, she tried to pretend as though she didn't notice him but when he got all in her face and clearing his throat loudly to get her attention, she figured it would be rude to pretend any longer.
"Hi, Sasuke, I didn't see you!" she said.
"I have some questions to ask you." Said Sasuke. "Answer them as truthfully as you can, okay?"
"Um…all right!" said Hinata. "I'll try!"
"Okay…" said Sasuke. "What is an important personality trait you look for in a guy?"
"Uh…" Hinata said nervously as she started blushing. She continued to stumble over her words frantically in search of an answer.
"Come on, Hinata, I'm not doing this for my health." Said Sasuke as he got momentarily distracted. "Oh, chocolate covered pretzels. Could you put some of these in your bag for me? I'll pay you back."
"Okay…" Hinata said.
"Oh and put some of these in too." Said Sasuke as he reached the little scoop and started putting Gummi Bears in Hinata's bag.
Kiba, meanwhile, was watching from outside through the window. "No, you're supposed to be asking her questions!" he said under his breath.
"Why Hinata? Of all people!" came a voice next to him. Kiba looked over to see Sakura peering into another window with a pad of paper in her hand. "Well, at least I know now that he likes chocolate covered pretzels and Gummi Bears and Swedish Fish…"
"What are you doing?!" demanded Kiba.
"Nothing!" said Sakura. "Just doing my daily Sasuke stalking! What are YOU doing here?"
Kiba wasn't about to just admit to the world that he was, in a way, stalking Hinata like Sakura had just so openly admitted that she was stalking Sasuke so he thought up a lie…AND HE THOUGHT IT UP QUICK! "Er…I just…uh…asked Sasuke to get me some candy because…uh…they don't allow dogs in this candy store and I didn't want Akamaru to have to wait outside."
"Uh…huh." Said Sakura, not convinced at all.
Back inside, Sasuke had gone back to interrogating Hinata. "So, you like someone who thinks outside the box and can make you laugh." Sasuke recapped. "You want him to be outgoing so he can help you change, yet still caring and sympathetic. You like blond hair and he has to be taller than you. I just have a few more questions. Now…do you like dogs?"
"Oh yes, I love dogs!" said Hinata. "Who doesn't?"
"I don't." Sasuke said.
"Oh." Said Hinata quietly.
"Finally, this one may seem a bit straight forward but that's only because it is." Sasuke started. "What do you think of Kiba? Do you like him? Do you think you could ever pursue him as a boyfriend in the future?"
"Um…oh…uh…" Hinata said as she nearly dropped her candy bag. "I think I'm just going to go and buy my candy now."
"Was that too straight forward?" Sasuke asked. "Too specific? Let me try again. Do you think you'd ever pursue anyone on your team as a boyfriend?"
"I'm just going to buy my candy now." Hinata repeated as she made her way towards the cash register.
"Fine then." Said Sasuke as he dropped a candy necklace and a ring pop in her bag. "I'll get my candy later and pay you back the money when I pick it up." With that, he exited the candy store to find Kiba. It wasn't very hard considering Kiba was standing there eagerly, waiting for answers. Sakura had ran off as fast as she could in hope that Sasuke didn't notice her but you KNOW he did.
"What did she say?" Kiba asked.
"In my opinion, she has a crush on you, but you need to dye your hair blond." Sasuke said.
"Blond?" said Kiba. "I don't want to."
"Well, that's what she said." Sasuke said with a shrug.
Kiba looked a little frustrated. He didn't want to dye his hair blond but Sasuke said that Hinata had a crush on him so would he even need to? Suddenly, he remembered that he had promised his mother he'd be home for dinner. "Oh geez, Sasuke, do you have the time?" he asked.
"Actually, I do." Said Sasuke. This was the moment he had been waiting for ever since before he could remember. He slowly rolled up one of the arm warmers and revealed his awesome watch.
"Wow! That's the coolest watch ever!!" Kiba exclaimed.
"It's 6:30." Said Sasuke as he turned around and…walked away.