Naruto Primer: Rock Lee

Extreme Makeover

Lee was making his way to the training area.  Gai had called him there to do some little extra training before the day was through.  He arrived to find that he and Gai were the only ones there.

"Where's Neji and Tenten?" he asked Gai.

"This is a SPECIAL training session just for you!" said Gai, giving Lee the thumbs up.

"YAY!!" cheered Lee as he did a little dance.

"All right, the first thing you have to do is punch this rock in half!" said Gai, stepping aside to reveal a giant rock.

"That's EASY!" said Lee as he walked over and Judo chopped the giant rock so it split perfectly down the middle.  "Wow, that was even easier than I originally assumed it would be."

But then he took a good look at one of the halves inside the rocks and spotted some writing.  "You… have…" he began reading.  "You have been chosen for…FOR AN EXTREME MAKEOVER?!?!"

As soon as he read these words, a bunch of camera people jumped out of the nearby bushes.

"Congratulations Lee!" said Gai, wiping a tear from his eye.

With that, Lee was whisked away to Extreme Makeover Headquarters.

Meanwhile, while Lee was getting his new makeover, the cameramen went around to interview all of Lee's friends, acquaintances and rivals.

"Frankly, I've always known that Lee's a great guy!" said Gai, crying into his own sleeve.  "No one could ever really look past his appearance and give him a chance!"

"There's no beating around the bush, Lee's not a pretty sight to look at…" Sakura admitted.  "But he really is the nicest guy you could ever know!  He's probably been one of the best friends I've ever had!"

"I can't say I ever really cared what Lee looked like." Neji said to the cameraman.  "He is what he is and I'm above making his appearance part of my assessment of him."

"Sometimes I would have a hard time getting up in the morning." Tenten said, though she had a blur across her face to hide her identity.  "I knew I would have to go and face Lee.  He's nice, but there's only so long you can tolerate looking at something like that and still be able to smile day in and day out."

"What?!" demanded Naruto.  "Lee's getting a makeover?!  I LOVE HIS EYEBROWS!!  Why give him a makeover when you could give me a makeover?!"

"Lee who?" Shino said.

Time passed by and all the genins, Shikamaru and the teachers gathered around for the unveiling process of Lee.

"I'm kind of worried that he'll be sexier than Sasuke." Sakura whispered to Hinata.

"Why?" Hinata asked.

"Because then I might fall in love with him instead!" Sakura replied.

"Not if I fall in love with him first!" said Ino, intervening.

"Girls, hate to tell you, but if Lee turns out sexy then I get first dibs." Tenten said.

"Who is he in love with?" Sakura said.  "Me?  That's what I thought."

"You guys are all so shallow." Said Shikamaru.

"SO?!" yelled the women.

"Why are we here again?" Kiba asked Shino and Chouji.  They shrugged.

"Looks like the girls don't love you anymore!" said Naruto, nudging Sasuke.

"Oh well." Said Sasuke, though he was secretly angry.  He wasn't angry because the girls didn't love him, he was just mad because now he wasn't the best at another thing.

"It doesn't matter if Lee turns out better looking, he's still going to be Lee." Neji said.

"Stop being all righteous!" said Naruto, looking offended.

"Righteous?" Neji said with a raised eyebrow.  "I was just saying that no matter how good looking he is or how many girls are in love with him.  He still won't be able to beat me."

"Oh." Said Naruto.

"I'm so excited to see the final product!!" said Gai, jumping up and down.

"I watch this show ALL the time." Said Kurenai.  "These people are miracle workers when it comes to giving ugly people makeovers."

"Maybe we should get Gai the next invitation." Said Kakashi so that Gai couldn't hear.

"I've already called." Asuma replied.

"All right fellas!" came the voice of the man in charge of Extreme Makeover.  He came strolling out wearing his really tight shirt and his beret and his scarf to where everyone was standing.  "In just a few moments, we're going to call Lee out here so you all can see his makeover!"

"Bring him out NOW!" said Gai.

"Oh very well!" said the man.  "Lee!!"

"YEAH!!" came Lee's voice.  Everyone looked up at the top of the staircase to see Lee sliding down the hand railing with his back to the crowd.  When he reached the bottom, he leapt up into the air and did a flip, then landed perfectly in front of them.

Everyone was silent.

In awe.

"You look exactly the same." Said Sasuke finally.

"Yeah…" people agreed.

"Well!" said Lee, pointing his finger up in the air.  "They were going to pluck my eyebrows but they tried that for a few hours and decided to give up!  I told them I wasn't about to cut my hair because I wanted to look like Gai!  They said my nose and body were fine so they didn't touch those at all!"

"What about the plastic surgery?" Sakura asked, still a little shocked.  "Your eyes?  And your mouth?"

"I was a little scared." Said Lee.  "What if something horrible happened and I ended up looking stupid?!"

Everyone tried not to tell him that he already looked stupid.

"So…you got new clothes for your extreme makeover?" Neji finished.

"And instant tan lotion!" said Lee, rolling up his sleeves to show off his slightly darker and tanned skin.  "They also put blush on to accentuate my check bones and draw attention away from my eyebrows and eyes!"

Then he posed for them all.

"I'd say it was a success!" said the random man who had introduced him as he wrapped his arm around Lee.

"ALL RIGHT!!!" cheered Lee, jumping around happily.