Silver Blood Nine: Behind Blue Eyes

Devoid of a memory on how she died, someone came back from the dead to find out - only to find that she didn't die at all. Now she discovers that the love of her life is dead, her friends' lives are in danger, and her worst fears came true.

She's a Death Eater. She has to be. And one little step will make her forever forget that she ever loved Sirius Black.

Disclaimer: Alas, the characters are not in my possession; they belong to J.K Rowling and an assortment of publishers.

Author's Notes: Here's to errrrrr, who doesn't get this song. It's over now.

No one knows what it's like

To be the bad man

To be the sad man

Behind blue eyes

"It - it can't be..."

"Nothing is ever impossible with the Dark Lord," he told her, grinning. "Haven't you listened to the orientation?"

"I..."

"You don't have to say anything. Let me talk," he leaned forward and kissed her. She felt something true about him. Something she never saw in Sirius. Regulus was sensitive, sensible... nothing like Sirius. "Dorcas, I love you."

Dorcas tried to open her mouth to speak, but he cut her off, "I'm not asking you to do anything about it, Dorcas. I know you don't love me. It's just - to be a Death Eater, you need to sacrifice a few things. With me, it was my family, my dreams, and you. You - you have to do the same, Dorcas," he whispered. "You have to give him up."

Her eyes were filled with tears. "I - I can't..."

"Think about it, there's another life ahead of you. And... I know you still love him" - he hesitated and then said - "but you do want him to be alive, don't you? His life - it depends on you now. You have to leave him to save him... please?" He pulled her into a hug again but now she couldn't help it. She kissed him passionately. It felt as though he was Sirius... only his way led to a different sensation. Salvation.

A voice apart from theirs echoed into the room. "What're you two doing?"

It was Wormtail.

"Kill him," Regulus whispered in her ear. She obliged.

She pointed her wand at him, but Wormtail was quick. He quickly turned into an Animagus and dashed out of the room.

"Ah, there're other times," said Regulus, smiling at Dorcas. "Voldemort wanted him dead yesterday anyway."

"You - you look... hot." Dorcas looked at Sirius, who was fully dressed for his trial."The story must be so damn unbelievable that you're relying on first impressions."

Sirius laughed. "I guess so," he said. "If I'm lucky, Fudge might be gay and say that I'm innocent the moment I enter the room."

"You wish."

That day, six members of the Order of the Phoenix left number twelve, Grimmauld Place for the Ministry, all hopes limited. Arthur Weasley, Nymphadora Tonks and Kingsley Shacklebolt in the lead, with Remus Lupin, Dorcas Meadowes, and Sirius Black behind them.

They entered the Ministry, didn't bother to stop by to weigh their wands, every single man looking at them, jaws dropped, eyes wide.

That's right, Sirius thought, the dead sexy Sirius Black is back.

He heard Dorcas mutter quietly behind him, "Take a picture, it'll last longer."

The six of them walked through the golden gates, and into the lift. Every witch and wizard looked shockingly at the group. It didn't feel comfortable at all. Tonks tried to greet an office mate, but she ignored Tonks, her gaze fixed on Sirius, who looked down to avoid catching anyone's eye. Through level seven, six, five, four, three, two did the group ignore the stares... then they were in the Attrium. They were the only ones left in the lift, thankfully.

There were no windows, the walls were bare, and the corridor was very dark. Arthur in the lead, he led them to a flight of steps, then to a corridor with rough stone walls and torches in the brackets. The group stopped in front of a grimy dark door with an immense iron lock.

"Here we are," said Tonks, eyeing Sirius anxiously.

"We'll be in the stands, Sirius," said Remus, trying to calm Sirius, who just turned pale. "Don't worry."

Kingsley laughed. "They can't hurt you while I'm around."

"Now, don't try to swear," suggested Dorcas, Sirius looked at her. "They'll only think you're more of a delinquent. If possible, try to be as polite as you could and not mention anything about Peter being a big bastard."

"Now, the way to the stands is this way," said Mr. Weasley, pointing the other side of the corridor. "We'll be keeping our hopes up, Sirius." He walked along the corridor, Tonks and Kingsley followed him.

Remus looked at the pair and smiled. "You'll both be wanting some alone time, right?"

Sirius nodded stiffly, and looked at Dorcas. "Whatever happens, I -"

She cut him off, "Sirius, if they don't set you free, I'm going to murder Fudge and ask for a cell next to yours. I'm never going to leave you. Remember that."

Sirius smiled.

And no one knows what it's like

To be hated

To be fated

To telling only lies

"I'm always with you... n-no - no matter what." She kissed him as hard as she could. She felt as though this was the last. Sirius returned it, wrapping his arms around her as she cupped his face in her hands, guilt spreading all over her...

"Er..."

They abruptly broke apart, watching Kingsley's grinning face. "I forgot... I'm supposed to accompany you inside, being the one in charge of your hunt." He grinned broadly at the two of them. "But it's still a bit early... if you want some extra time."

Dorcas stepped a foot away from Sirius and turned to Kingsley, "Erm... no." She looked at Sirius and smirked.

Sirius attempted and failed to grin. He whispered seriously, "I love you."

Dorcas gasped, but didn't reply. She was shocked to hear it. She turned the heavy iron door handle, and shoved him into the room. "T-Take care of - of him then," she said to Kingsley, her eyes set fixedly on Sirius.

"Of course I will," he assured her. "Save the snogs for later, then." He smiled and followed Sirius into the room.

"...and no one knew about Pettigrew being the Secret-Keeper?"

"No one," said Sirius. "Me, James, Lily, and the bastard Peter Pettigrew." He was assigned to drink Veritaserum an hour ago and he couldn't help but be rude. It was the truth after all.

"Even your wife doesn't know?"

He was irritated now. "She died before we performed the Fidelius. There was no way she could've known."

"Erm - yes, well... do you have any proof that Pettigrew is alive?"

"Yes," said Sirius. "I've told you, haven't I? Pettigrew is a Death Eater."

"I've heard..." said Fudge heatedly. "Amelia, if you would..."

"All in favor of imprisonment?" boomed Madam Bones. Only Fudge, Percy Weasley, and three wizards at the back raised their hands. "It seems the case is closed, Minister. Sirius Black is now cleared of all charges."

Sirius happily looked at the stands. Tonks, Remus, and Arthur were waving madly at him. He didn't see Dorcas anywhere.

He said he loved me.

Rummaging around the Department of Mysteries, Dorcas looked through the doors, got lost, almost ran into an Unspeakable, and finally - after half an hour of agony - reached the Strongroom. All sorts of potions were in shelves, arranged in alphabetical order.

But my dreams

They aren't as empty

As my conscience seems to be

She wasn't sure she wanted to do this anymore. For a split second she thought of leaving the Department of Mysteries. But no, she had to finish this. If she fails, Voldemort was sure to come after Sirius. She didn't want him harmed. Never. If she has to die again to save him, then so be it.

Then she found it: the Eternalizer. The one thing Voldemort wanted. She picked it up from the shelf and pocketed it. She then dashed out of the room.

I have hours

Only lonely

My love is vengeance

That's never free



The five of them got out of the courtroom last. The Wizengamot congratulated Sirius for his second escape and kept his company waiting.

"Where's Dorcas?" he asked them, as they walked down the dark corridor.

Remus shrugged, "I have no - STOP!" He heard footsteps. His werewolf sensitive hearing allowed him to hear even the faintest of footsteps. This one set is getting louder, thudding in his ears.

The others stopped, and started seeing a silhouette of someone on the other side. Being alert, they all pulled out their wands and pointed it at the unknown shape.

"Show yourself," Tonks demanded. The figure lit up his wand.

It was Peter Pettigrew.

No one knows what it's like

To feel these feelings

Like I do

And I blame you

Sirius leapt up to strangle him, his wand forgotten. He realeased the anger that was bubbling inside him for fifteen years. He clotheslined him to the wall, and then choke-slammed him to the hard stone floor. He picked him up by the scruff and threw him across the corridor and beat him to a pulp with his fists.

With the combined strength of Arthur, Kingsley, and Remus, they managed to take Sirius off Peter, who whimpered in fear of him.

Tonks pointed her wand at Sirius, muttered, "I'm really sorry about this, Sirius" - she raised her wand - "STUPEFY!"

Sirius was knocked out.

"What in the bloody regions of hell are you doing here?" Remus yelled, hurting his own ears.

"I - I came t-t-to join y-you ag-again," he stuttered fearfully.

"Join us? Peter do you think that's easy? You BETRAYED US!"

Peter leapt up to his feet, "BUT DORCAS IS BETRAYING YOU TOO! SHE'S A DEATH EATER, REMUS. AND NOW I THINK SHE'S VOLDEMORT'S RIGHT HAND!"

Remus gaped at him, lost for words. The others did too. Tonks, however, shook her head. "You're lying!"

"It's true," whispered Peter. "Where do you think she is?" He rounded on Sirius and then turned to Remus. "Wake him up, Remus. Don't hide it from him."

Remus obliged. Within seconds Sirius was awake. He leapt up to strangle Peter again but the others stopped him.

"What d'you think you're doing, Remus?" he yelled. "He -"

"He has something to say, Sirius. Listen."

Peter looked up at a flaming Sirius and said, "Sirius, Dorcas is a Death Eater."

No one bites back as hard

On their anger

None of my pain an' woe

Can show through

"You're lying..."

"No I'm not. I just saw her. She's with Voldemort now."

"Why should I believe you, you snivelling bastard?"

"It's true, Sirius," a voice behind Wormtail said.

"Dorcas?" The others raised their wands. Sirius held a hand to stop them.

"I'm sorry. I had to. To keep you alive. To keep you safe."

Another figure came. He was standing behind Dorcas. "You better believe it, Sirius."

"My God," muttered Remus. "It's Regulus."

Sirius' eyes widened with shock. "What - why - how?"

"We're both alive, eh? Surprise," Regulus smirked. "Well, we better get going. Keep Peter. He's worthless." He Disapparated.

Dorcas looked at Sirius guiltily as he glared at her. She didn't want to leave him. But she had to.

"I will always love you," she mouthed. "Forever."

No one knows what it's like

To be the bad man

To be the sad man

Behind blue eyes.

A/N: And now it ends.