Hogwarts' First Musical
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance/Comedy
Pairing: R/Hr, perhaps more later
Disclaimer: All characters and setting belong to J.K. Rowling. We receive no profit from this. Only the OC (Professor Letalis) belongs to us. Moulin Rouge doesn't belong to us either.
Letalis looked over her cast, smiling slightly. She stood for several minutes, watching the enthusiasm in the students' faces. They glowed with the kind of light a thousand candles couldn't fade. Then the shuffling of feet reminded her of the fact that she had been just standing there, grinning ridiculously at them.
"All right, you can sit back down now. Scripts are being passed around, everyone may take one." With that, the Casting Parchment popped out of nowhere, mumbling to itself. "No respect from bloody Wizards, oh now, enchanted talking things are much too commonplace in our world, Mr. Parchment."
"Ahem." Letalis looked critically at the Parchment.
"Yes, yes, I'm going, Master." The Parchment whispered a few dubious words, and it elongated to this massive sheet of paper. Like Charmin's. Only when the Parchment tore itself dramatically into numerous pieces did it become apparent that it was in fact not toilet paper, but scripts.
"Letalis will be fine, Sir Casting Parchment." Many students felt the intense need to giggle, but the critical stare of their Professor subdued the desire.
" Now I shall introduce you to the professors involved in this production." The students leaned back in their seats, absorbing the fact they and Letalis would not be the only ones in Moulin Rouge. They cast furtive glances to the other side of the room where now quite obviously, their other professors stood in silence.
"As you already know, I am the director of Moulin Rouge," Letalis said with authority, "However, a director cannot hope to do everything by herself. So many of your professors kindly agreed to assist me. First, I'd like to introduce your warm-up instructor, Madame Hooch. This play will require strenuous dancing, and I won't have anyone getting hurt because they forgot loosen their tendons. Madame Hooch will see that you are all adequately stretched before we begin rehearsing." Madame Hooch stood up and waved at the students, who were all clapping appreciatively.
"In the event you do take the phrase 'Break a leg' to its literal extent, Madame Pomfrey will act as our Nurse. She has told me to threaten you all with a nasty concoction if you hurt yourself unnecessarily." A simultaneous gulp ran through the gathering. Even the professors looked vaguely pained.
"Now, next we have the prompter. A prompter is very important to any production. They ensure smooth rehearsals when you all forget your lines, which you will, of course. Professor Trelawney has agreed to be our prompter, though she did not agree to come tonight because the Fates have informed her that she is busy tonight." Letalis smirked and the students could have sworn McGonagall snickered, although her face was blank when they checked. "But I'm sure you'll be seeing her here soon enough." Hermione's face twisted in disgust, and Ron and Harry muffled their laughter at her expression.
"Two very important people are the choral director and the musical director, as you will be working with them frequently throughout the play. Professor McGonagall will be your vocal coach, and Professor Flitwick will be in charge of the musical instruments." Both teachers stood up, and the students clapped while giggling at the thought of Flitwick playing the piano. Could he even reach the piano keys?
"I had to pull some strings from outside of Hogwarts for the next person. I'm sure many of you remember Remus Lupin. He has come in especially for this production, and we're very glad to have him. He will be assisting the crew, as his position is the technical director." Letalis looked at Lupin dreamily before turning away.
"Harry, did you see how Professor Letalis stared at Professor Lupin a second ago?" Hermione looked puzzled at the strange sight. How did Letalis know Remus, and why in Gringotts did she look at him like that?
"Uh huh," Harry said distractedly, looking for Remus in the crowd of professors. When he spotted him, Tonks looked over and waved cheerily at him.
"Hermione, Tonks is here!" He exclaimed under his breath.
"Really. How odd. Lupin and Tonks. I wonder what happened in the..." But her voice faltered as Letalis began her introductions again.
"Also from the outside world is our dialect coach. Most of the play's characters are British. However, there are a few that will require assistance with their accents. Helping us in this particular department is Nymphadora Tonks."
Tonks lurched from her seat, precariously balanced and said loudly, "Oh, you know how much I hate my first name, Letty! Please just call me Tonks." She waved cheerily, which caused her hair to pop into a strange pale green.
"What the bloody hell is wrong with her hair?" asked Malfoy in a rather loud undertone.
"Well, you see, I'm a-"
Before Tonks could launch into a detailed explanation of Metamorphmagus, Lupin caught the daggers Letalis was sending the young woman her way and gently pulled her into her seat. "Now's not the time, Tonks."
Sitting down with a huge grin, she leaned over to Lupin and whispered in his ear, giggling into her hand.
"Of course!" Letalis exclaimed, her voice squeaking several octaves higher. Clearing her throat of its strange new pitch, she continued with seeming nonchalance.
"Hagrid has graciously agreed to design and construct the intricate set for us, though he wasn't able to attend tonight. And now for our final introduction. Moulin Rouge is a play that centers around the art of dance. For your choreographer, I have chosen someone well versed, ah footed, of this particular skill. Everyone on stage will dance, so you must be on your best behavior for Professor Snape."
This announcement caused a strange reaction from the multitude of students. The Slytherins burst into fervent applause, Ron choked on the air he had just inhaled, and Neville slumped into a faint.
Standing up and stretching to his full height, Snape rose one eyebrow elegantly and inquired with a smirk, "Mr. Weasley," Snape said slowly, "do you doubt my ability to take the lot of you bumbling fools and train you into well-disciplined dancers? I do hope not. I have no doubt of your- talent. I realize your character does not dance quite as much as the rest. Pity that I won't get the chance to work with you." Ron just stared in mute horror. "Do take Longbottom to Madame Pomfrey after Professor Letalis is finished." He sat down with something that Ron knew instinctually to be a flourish.
"Thank you, Professor Snape!" Letalis said, clapping quickly, hoping the students would do the same. She sighed in relief as they dully followed suit.
"We are finished for tonight. Another round of applause for the professors who gave up their time to come to this first meeting. The cast will be having their first read-through Monday. You are dismissed," Letalis finished before walking towards Lupin and Tonks. The students chatted excitedly as they left.
"Wow, Ron, your load of lines is enormous," Harry commented. "So are yours, Hermione."
"Oh, I don't know when I'll ever have time to learn these!" Hermione moaned, "What with preparing for the N.E.W.T.'s and all."
"'Mione, you've been prepared for those sodding exams since first year," Ron interjected irritably. Hermione glared before laughing helplessly. Neither of them could be upset with the other for very long. They entered Gryffindor Tower, and after saying their good nights, headed up to their respective rooms. Once Ron and Harry had reached the boys' dormitory, they noticed that the rest of their friends were already there, discussing their roles.
"Hey Harry! Hi, Ron," Dean greeted them. "We were just talking about the fact that Neville gets to practically molest your sister!" he finished cheerfully as Neville threw a pillow at him, darkening into a motley purple blush.
"What?" Ron exclaimed. He had been so preoccupied with thinking about his part that he didn't even remember what his friends had gotten. The boys laughed at his bewildered expression.
"Don't worry about it too much, Ron," Neville said, "I think Ginny's about as happy as you are on this matter." Harry rolled his eyes as Neville pushed his foot along the floor. Poor Neville. His self-esteem was pitiful.
"So, Ron, you must be pretty excited," Seamus started, "You got the lead, and you get to snog Hermione, like, the entire play!" Everyone but Ron snickered.
"What makes you think I'd want to go and snog Hermione?" Ron said, his ears turning red. "It's late. I'm going to bed."
The boys followed him to the bathroom, puckering their lips and making lewd comments to each other.
Ron ducked into the room, sighing in relief to be away from them all.
...
"Don't worry, Hermione! Ron's a great kisser! Trust me, I know," Lavender gushed as Hermione watched the two girls opposite of her, completely horrified.
"I really wasn't worried about that," Hermione said quickly.
"Oh, of course you weren't," teased Parvati. "I think we all know just how you feel about this, though don't we?" she finished, while Lavender nodded in solemn agreement.
"Of course you know exactly how I feel! I'm excited, naturally. Anyone who got the lead would be," Hermione said calmly and rationally. Lavender and Parvati giggled.
"Oh Hermione, we already know!" Parvati squealed.
"It's so obvious," agreed Lavender.
"And what is so obvious, may I ask?" Hermione said primly.
"That you fancy Ron!" the two girls said in unison, their voices equally giddy. They batted their eyes at her, doing an astonishingly good impression of Ron when he was shy. Hermione's eyes widened as she tried to think of good response, but all that came out was,
"You mustn't tell anyone!"
You mustn't tell anyone? What did I say that for? Since when do I have secret crushes that I shared with these two? Oh, here comes the squealing.
Lavender and Parvati did indeed squeal simultaneously before hugging Hermione.
"Oh, this is perfect! You two would make the cutest couple, wouldn't they, Parvati?" Lavender sighed. "This will be so much fun!"
"Don't get so excited," Hermione said reluctantly, "I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way about me. And I don't really want to find out."
"Ah, unrequited love," Parvati said, "We all know it so well." Lavender giggled uncontrollably as Hermione stared in shock. What have I got myself into?
Lavender was dating Seamus, Parvati was dating Dean, and they had been doing so ever since the moment they decided that they liked them. Unrequited, her arse. They were beautiful. Any boy they had an even remote interest perked up at the gossip of it. Hermione had a bit of a harder time with it. She sighed. Did Ron ever feel like this about any girl? Hermione hoped he didn't. It really wasn't fun at all.
...
Ron snuck quietly into the room, hoping everyone was asleep. He thanked Merlin personally when he heard light snores reverberating. Ron went through his routine of bedtime rituals thoughtlessly, letting his mind drift over the reality of being Christian.
Truthfully, he was excited, thrilled even. The fact that he had gotten something over every other seventh and sixth year at Hogwarts was enough that he felt he had conquered the entire British Broadway.
Ron had been surprised when he had read the scene. He hadn't known he would sound so desperate, so stricken with this indefinable and overwhelming emotion. He hadn't know Lavender's face would shift and become one so much more beautiful, his throat ached. He had been almost frantic with the need to kiss her.
He had been angry, too. Ron couldn't remember exactly why. He didn't really care. Probably because he thought he had no chance against Harry or Malfoy. They ruled the school in all every aspect Ron cared to note.
But the fact that he was a good actor, that he had a chance to be good at something, made him happier than he could ever remember being. Except when he had helped win the Quidditch Cup, but that seemed pure accident, not his sheer skill.
Ron thought to the cast list, which he finally managed to recall after a few hours of pushing past the shock and dizzy joy that clouded the names.
All his good friends got parts, so acting on stage would them would be the greatest thing he could think of. Ron loved Quidditch more than anything, but somehow it excluded masses of people. Now everyone was involved.
The part he was most thrilled with was Hermione's. The fact that he wouldn't have to act with such stupid girl that giggled in every love scene lifted him up where he belonged. The thought brought a huge smile to his face. He wondered if Hermione would study how to be a good actress.
Well, she was obviously a good actress. So maybe a good prostitute? Ron had the insane urge to giggle akin to the girls he had just mentally berated. A good lover? A snort escaped from his mouth before he could stop it.
"Ron?"
"Yeah, Harry?"
"Stop laughing about Hermione. You're going to have to act like a lovesick House Elf too, you know."
Ron sputtered before grinning slyly, "Harry?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't ever use the term 'lovesick House Elf' in my presence again. Please. Tell Dobby the same."
Harry laughed quietly. "All right, Ron." Harry heard Ron turn over and settle into sleep. "But you're not fooling anyone, mate," he said softly as Ron's snores joined the chorus.