Me: Hi there! I'm taking a break from writing the latest chapter of my epic story to bring you this parody!
Carlos: What!? Why!?
Me: Writing that new chapter is just too boring & I got this idea recently.
Carlos: ::Pouts::
Me: Anyway, this is a parody of an episode of the new Duck Dodgers cartoon on Cartoon Network. I can't promise that this'll be a complete parody mainly because I'm doing this from memory.
Carlos: Aren't all of your parodies done from memory?
Me: True. Anyway, here's the cast.
Duck Dodgers= Tai
The eager, young space cadet= Davis
Marvin the Martian= Ken
The spy= Sora
The general= Cody
The guy at the end= Matt
The girl at the end= Mimi
Dr. I.Q. High= Izzy
Me: I suppose that's it. Enjoy!
Carlos: Forgetting something?
Me: Oops! Oh yeah!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything!
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Tai Yagami in the 21st ½ Century in: The Spy who wouldn't love Me
In the world's command center…
"Where is that Yagami?" A voice muttered. It belonged to a scientist who was wearing the traditional white lab coat & black boots. He was wearing yellow gloves and had curly red hair. You couldn't see much of the hair, though, because it was covered by a blue helmet with a light bulb sticking out of the top of it. He was pacing around. He was pacing so much he didn't see another person approach him.
This person was wearing an outfit that made him look like Napoleon if it wasn't for the fact that he was too tall to play the part. The only actual quality about this person anybody can really talk about is his hair. It's brown and adds about a couple more feet to his height. That's not all though. He is known for more than his humungous hair. He is Tai Yagami in 21st ½ century! The greatest space ZERO ever born! He has caused more destruction than the entire Martian empire has done in his 5 years on the Earth army.
"Hi Doc!" He yelled, shocking the young doctor out of his mantra.
"Yagami! Where have you been?!" Dr. Izzy High yelled.
"Chill Izzy. And call me Tai." Tai Yagami replied. "Anyway, I was at my grandma's funeral."
"Again!?" Izzy bellowed. "Yagami, I mean Tai, that's the lamest excuse I've ever heard!" He thought for a moment. "And your grandmother's been dead for over four hundred years."
"Yeah, but what the army don't know won't hurt them." Tai replied with a smirk.
"Whatever. What did you say your grandmother died of this time?" Izzy asked as they started to walk.
"What else? My mom's cooking." Izzy put a hand to his chin.
"Good job. Nobody can survive your mother's cooking. But that's still no reason to be late! We have a new mission for you." They made their way to a room. It was empty except for a projector, which is used to take orders from the general of Earth's Army, Cody Hida. The projector turned on and the general, super sized and wearing a space helmet, appeared on the screen.
"Hi Dr. Izzy High." He said. He then turned to Tai. "And Yagami, I'm sorry about your grandmother." Tai gave Izzy a smirk. "Anyway, we need you to escort a spy to Andromeda Six. The spy will help the rebels there take it back from the Martians. Can you do it, Yagami?"
"Well I don't know." Tai replied.
"Can you do it, Yagami!?" Cody yelled, causing a lot of wind to be blown.
"Well…"
"CAN YOU DO IT, YAGAMI!!!???!?!?!" That gust of wind knocked Tai over.
"I'll do it." He said in a daze. The camera now turns to Izzy, whose hair was sticking up.
"And I just got my hair done too." He muttered with his arms crossed.
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Tai was on his rocket ship with his assistant, the eager young space cadet, Davis Motomiya. The younger of the two was wearing the trademark uniform, which was a dark blue hood with an antenna sticking out of it, his gloves, belt, and shoes were dark blue, as well. The body suit he was wearing, however, was light blue. Tai was now wearing the same thing as his cadet, except his suit was dark green & light green and he wasn't wearing a hood. They were making last minute preparations before blasting off.
"Fuel." Tai said.
"Check." Davis replied, marking down something on a computer.
"Weapons."
"Check."
"The secret agent."
"Nope."
"What!?" Tai shot up.
"Well, he hasn't arrived yet."
"Just wait til he arrives! Who takes two hours to show up!? We gotta move!" Just then, the ship's video phone turned on.
"Yagami. We're ready to evaporate the secret agent to your ship." That was Izzy, wearing rollers in his hair. Tai & Davis made their way to the evaporation chamber. Davis went to the console and Tai had his back facing the evaporation machine. Davis pressed a few buttons and the machine flashed, signaling the appearance of the secret agent.
"Listen bud! I don't know who you think you are but—" He turned around and saw the agent. And it wasn't a man! It was a beautiful girl in a black jumpsuit. She had red hair and lovely brown eyes that anybody can sink into.
"I love you with all my heart!" Tai declared with hearts in his eyes.
"Hiya. I'm the secret agent, Sora." The agent said to Davis, who blushed.
"I-I'll escort you to your room."
"Thanks." And the two walked off, leaving Tai in deep thought.
'I must get that beautiful girl to be mine! But how?' He then left the room and the ship blasted off.
Later…
Tai & Davis were in the bridge. Tai was thinking about how to get himself & Sora hooked up and Davis was busy watching out for any enemy ships.
"Cadet, you're in charge." Tai said as he got up. "I've got to woo the girl of my dreams." Just then, the radar started beeping.
"B-But sir!" Davis yelled.
"Take care of that, will you? See ya in a few!" He then left the cadet to his duties.
"Oh great! He gets love struck when we have Martians to worry about!" Davis groaned, slapping his head.
Yep. In their immediate vicinity, a green Martian ship was out patrolling when their radar picked up something.
"Sir! We have Tai Yagami's ship on radar!" An Agumon said. This agumon was different from others because he was green and had two antennas sticking out of his head. He was addressing his leader, who was shrouded in darkness.
"Excellent. Give chase!" The figure ordered. "And turn the lights on!" The lights above the leader turned on, revealing Ken Ichijouji the Martian. He was in his Digimon Emperor's outfit, but he had green skin And a gold helmet on his head. The lower part of a broom was sticking out of its top. The ship then blasted off towards the Earthlings' ship.
The ship soon closed in on Yagami's vessel and opened fire. Davis, who was sweating bullets, concentrated all of his energy into pulling the thrusters. It was tough and agonizing, but he did it. The ship went down, out of the Martians' range of attack.
"Wha? Where'd they go?" Ken asked. The ship then came from behind & shot their engine, causing an explosion. "Ugh! Damage report!" He ordered after getting shaken up by the explosion.
"We have lost our engines!" The same Agumon from before replied.
"Take care of them." Ken said. He then turned to the camera. "Foiled by your brilliance again, Tai Yagami!" If only he knew.
Back on the ship…
"Hey cadet!" Tai said as he walked in the bridge. "Keep it steady, will ya? Remember, slow & steady wins the race or something like that." He then left a now shaking Davis.
"A-A-Aye aye sir."
Back with the Martians…
"Where is Tai Yagami heading?" Ken asked.
"Tai Yagami will be arriving at Andromeda Six in one hour." Agumon replied.
"Good. Head him off."
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"In order for her to love me, I'll have to fix up my hair." Tai said to no one in particular. Of course, he just made the biggest understatement of the century. The reason? He has hair the size of Pluto! Ok. Maybe not that big, but still, no one in the galaxy has bigger hair than him. Anyway, he walked through his quarters, which looked luxurious compared to the rest of the ship. Works of art, a big-screen TV, you name it! Tai made his way to the bathroom and looked in the mirror.
"Ick! I REALLY need to fix up my hair."
(A/N: Is it me or was he seriously OOC right there?)
He pressed a button on a remote and a helmet-like device lowered from the ceiling. It lowered itself onto Tai's head. He pressed another button and the machine started vibrating. He soon stopped it and the machine rose revealing his hair…which now resembled the Statue of Liberty!?
"Ack! I can't let her see me like this!" He lowered the machine again. His hair then came out looking like the Tower of Pisa?
"Uhh no."
Mt. Rushmore?
"Nope."
The Sphinx!?
"Walk like an Egyptian. I mean NO!!! What's with this thing!?" He pressed a few random buttons when the machine sucked him up. It spun him around a couple of times before he took out a hammer and banged the machine. It spit him out and he looked at the mirror. He smiled at the reflection.
"Hellloooo handsome!" His hair was as perfect as it can be for someone like Tai. He then left the room with great confidence.
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"Is the magnetic mine net in place?" Ken asked.
"Yes sir. The net is in place and ready to go." Agumon replied. The Martian ship was just outside Andromeda Six's gravitational pull. A few miles behind them floated a net with magnetic mines attached to them. Yagami's ship was closing in fast. The ship zipped past the net. It started to follow the ship, which then passed the Martians.
"Sir! There's an object approaching us!"
"Object? What object?" Ken asked. Just then, the net wrapped itself around the ship. "Oooh! That object."
BOOM!
"Damage report." Ken said in a daze. His clothes got burned in the explosion, leaving him in his underwear.
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"Hi." Tai said as he walked in Sora's room. She was typing something on her laptop. He walked up to her. "Doing spy stuff, I see. You know, I always wanted to be a spy." He put on a pair of sunglasses and jumped to the other side of the desk. He had his hands like he was holding a gun. "Take that, you tommy Martian!" He then made sounds like a gun shooting. Sora then stood up and walked over to the evaporation chamber.
"Thanks for everything. You're sweet." She said to Davis before kissing him on the forehead. She then moved to the evaporator. "Evaporate!" She ordered. Davis pressed a few buttons and instantly, Sora was transported to Andromeda Six. Tai then ran into the room.
"Where is she, man!?" He said while shaking the cadet. "And what's that on your head?" He got a closer look and noticed red lipstick made into the shape of lips on Davis' forehead. Tai gasped. "It's a sign! She loves me!" He then ran to the evaporator and teleported.
Meanwhile, on Andromeda Six…
"In order to free your people from Martian rule, we have to infiltrate the control tower and plant bombs in it." Sora addressed a bunch of guys. Most notably was a skinny blond guy playing a harmonica. "With it destroyed, the robots will malfunction and destroy each other, freeing you from their oppressive rule. I need two people to come on this mission. Who wants to save the world?" Everybody in the room backed up. Everybody that is except for the guy with the harmonica, who was too busy playing to listen to Sora.
"I need one more person. Is no one brave enough?" She asked. Just then, Tai appeared. Everybody else started to cheer.
"Hey, what's going on?" Tai asked.
"You just volunteered for a suicide mission." Sora replied.
"Oh." Tai gave her a look of complete cowardice.
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"Oh man! What'd I do to deserve this?!" Tai wailed. He, Sora, and the blond guy were walking through a rocky area.
"¬ ¬ You should know." Sora muttered. "Here we are. The Martians' base of operations." Over a ridge lied the control tower for all of the robots on Andromeda Six. It was as tall as a mountain and green. At the top stood an antenna. At the bottom were many robots patrolling the area. They were mechanized versions of Gatomon.
"Ok. Here's the plan." Sora started. "Matt & I—" She gestured to the blond guy. "—Will go in and distract the Gato-bots. Meanwhile, you'll sneak in and attached the time bombs to the antenna. When they blow up the antenna, we'll have saved the world. Any questions?" Tai raised his hand.
"Since when were you on a first name basis with this guy?" He gestured to Matt.
"Never mind that! Get going for all the people on this planet." Sora said.
"I promise you REVENGE!" Tai finished. That little…err 'statement' caused Sora & Matt to look at him strangely. "Going." He then ran.
"Ok. Let's go." Sora said to Matt. The both took out a laser. They fired at a nearby droid, destroying it. The other ones turned on the two humans.
"Run, you dang foo! RUN!!!" Sora yelled as she started to run. Matt followed suit.
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"I wonder if Sora would be willing to have any kids." Tai said as he walked up to the tower. He was wearing a dark blue spy outfit. "I've always been fond of the name Horatio."
(A/N: I know Daffy said a different name in that episode, but I have no idea how to spell it.)
He reached one of the tower's poles. He took off his hat and pressed a button on the top of it. It instantly swallowed up Tai & blasted off. The hat flew up to the top of the tower. When it reached the top, it became its normal size again.
"Hmmm… Not bad for a polyester blend."
Back with the other two…
"I hope that nutcase gets those explosives up soon. Otherwise, our goose is cooked!" Sora yelled. She & Matt were on a ledge. They were cornered by a horde of Gato-bots.
"Surrender now!" The lead Gato-bot said. Its two paws were replaced by guns and were aimed at the two humans.
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"I just hope she'll be ok with getting married." Tai said. He was hanging off the side of the tower, planting bombs. He jumped from section to section planting even more bombs. "There. Done." He then jumped to the ground from the short distance he was up.
"I hope she likes fireworks. This'll be my dedication of love." He took out a remote control & pressed a red button. Every single bomb detonated, creating a very impressive light show. "Wow… Pretty…"
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Sora & Matt were about to meet their end when suddenly, the whole tower blew up in the background.
"He did it. That wild haired fool actually did it!" Sora yelled. The lead Gato-bot faced its fellow robots.
"Surrender now!" It yelled as it unloaded round after round of hot lead into its pals before shooting itself.
"Alright! The time for attack has come! Let's go!" Sora yelled as she charged into battle, followed by Matt and all of the former slaves. It was complete chaos as everybody destroyed as many of the malfunctioning robots as possible.
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Tai was now walking back towards Sora. He seemed to be in deep thought about something.
"I wonder if I'm making the right choice. I mean if we do get married, it'll be for life. An-and then when it's over, I'll die! No! I want to live!"
Back with the other two, Sora & Matt were watching the sun rise.
"A new day is dawning for your people, as is my love for you." Sora said as she locked lips with Matt. He was taken by surprise, but then gave in to the kiss.
"Oh my love, I'm sorry, but this relationship just isn't working out." Tai said as he walked into the scene, unaffected by the sight of the kissing couple. He sighed. "Too choked up for words. I understand." He then took out a communicator. "Cadet, beam me up." He then disappeared.
"Did you hear something?" Sora asked, her voice muffled.
"No." Matt replied, his voice was muffled as well.
Back on the ship…
"I guess it just wasn't meant to be." Tai sighed. He was in the evaporation chamber.
"Oh well. Anyway, we just received our new mission. We have to escort a princess to her home planet." Davis said.
"Go ahead and beam her up. I'm done with love." The evaporator hummed and the princess appeared. The princess had pink hair and was wearing a flowing pink dress. Tai took a look at her. "I love you with all my heart!"
"Well, at least he's persistent." Davis said with a shrug.
THE END
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A/N:
Hoped ya like the fic! Don't forget to leave a review!