Sora Mitsuko. What was it about this girl that sent Haruka's heart racing? How was it that a simple touch on the hand could summon such strong feelings? The light catching her hair in the sun, the fullness of her lips, the way her eyes sparkled when she smiled…
She couldn't keep her eyes off of her.
Walking beside her, Haruka couldn't help but steal glances at her. The things she immediately noticed: Mitsuko was tall, but not as tall as herself. Her hair was black and streaked with chunky red highlights. A cascade of silver hoop earrings dangled from her earlobes; in the sunlight they shone. Her eyes were a pale green; lined with charcoal eyeliner…and they met her gaze.
"Shit," Haruka moaned inwardly; how embarrassing, to be caught staring…
Mitsuko, however, didn't seem to mind; she just squeezed her hand softly. And smiled.
"She's holding my hand," thought Haruka, "she's smiling at me…"
And indeed she was; Mitsuko seemed as enamoured with Haruka as Haruka was with her.
"My Eiyuu," Mitsuko had said…my hero. Her voice had been breathy, sensual, intoxicating. Why was it that her words echoed through Haruka's mind, through her heart? Why was it that Haruka felt as if she needed to prove herself true to Mitsuko's words?
How was it that everything could change in a blink of an eye?
Too soon the walk ended, and they stood in front of a rather dingy café. Haruka looked inside the seemingly deserted restaurant sceptically. Mitsuko caught her look; Haruka cursed her transparency.
"I know it doesn't look like much," Mitsuko explained, "but it's private. Plus they serve the best milkshakes."
Haruka grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, sorry…didn't know you could read minds,"
Mitsuko lowered her eyelids seductively, then whispered in Haruka's ear, "I'm a sorceress of many talents, Tenou-san,"
"That so?" she replied unsteadily, caught off guard by Mitsuko's forward conduct.
"Oh, yes," she said, then lowered her eyes mysteriously, "I'm rather affluent in the ways of luring angry young men into dark alleys,"
Haruka lifted her eyebrow ever so slightly; Mitsuko burst out laughing.
"Tenou-san, you're really something! You didn't think I was serious, did you?"
"No, of course not…" but her expression betrayed her; Mitsuko continued to laugh until Haruka was forced to joined her.
Mitsuko wiped tears from her eyes. "You're just too much, you know?" she said, grinning. She grabbed Haruka by the arm and led her inside the restaurant.
A waitress in a nylon blouse chewing on an enormous wad of gum greeted them with a grunt; how she was able to speak at all was astonishing.
"Table for two, please," Mitsuko said politely; as soon as the waitress turned her back Mitsuko crossed her eyes and Haruka couldn't help but grin.
The waitress led them to a corner table in the back of the restaurant reluctantly, as if the thought of dealing with two teenagers was just too much for her to deal with. They were seated across from each other; the waitress dropped two tattered menus on the table and with another inaudible grunt, was gone.
"Talk about service with a smile," Haruka muttered, removing her jacket and draping it over the chair.
"More like 'service with a smirk'," replied Mitsuko, removing her jacket as well. Underneath her navy blue blazer she wore a loose white blouse; a silver chain dipped between her breasts. Haruka caught herself staring again, and quickly lowered her gaze lest Mitsuko catch her.
"The chocolate milkshakes are to die for," she said, handing Haruka one of the menus. Their hands touched briefly; a pleasant sensation travelled through Haruka's fingertips. Her hand…Mitsuko's fingers were warm and her nails were painted with chipped maroon polish. Something about her fingernails sent shivers down her spine.
"Oh?" replied Haruka, reluctantly taking the menu and losing contact with her fingers. She scanned the menu critically, but did not read a word. How could she concentrate on food when Mitsuko sat across from her?
"Strawberry's good, too," she said.
"Oh," Haruka replied, her thoughts a million miles away. Remembering the feel of those hands undoing her blouse, on her bare skin, stroking, caressing…
"You're pretty cute, you know?"
"Oh," Haruka replied again, not hearing; she lifted her eyes and was surprised to see Mitsuko grinning mischievously. "What?" she asked, confused as to why the girl was snickering.
"You weren't listening to me, Tenou-san," she teased, wagging her finger disapprovingly. "Is the menu so fascinating?"
"Uh," Haruka trailed off, at a loss. Shit. She was caught.
However, Mitsuko was not angry. In fact, she seemed rather amused with how flustered Haruka was growing.
"I…what did you say?" she asked sheepishly.
Mitsuko crossed her arms across her breasts in mock upset, however the corners of her mouth were turned up as if hiding a smile. "You know, Tenou-san, it isn't polite to ignore people,"
Haruka grinned, "Well, who ever said I was polite?"
They laughed; the situation was so strange, to both of them. This was the first time that Haruka felt so carefree with another person, the first time she was able to just kid around, flirt, be herself.
It was incredible how quickly they warmed to each other. Haruka's usual standoffish demeanour disappeared; she didn't need to be on her guard around this girl.
However, Haruka still remained cautious. There were things about her that she felt too personal to reveal. Perhaps with time…
Their laughter dissolved as the true reason for their meeting dawned on them; suddenly the carefree atmosphere was replaced as the seriousness of the situation became apparent. Both were apprehensive: Haruka on what Mitsuko was going to ask her, Mitsuko on how Haruka would react. However much they liked each other certain matters needed to be brought to the surface and resolved before a friendship could develop.
Haruka was the first to break the silence. "Just what was it that you wanted to ask me?"
Looking down at her hands, then at Haruka. An unreadable expression on her face, was it fear, apprehension, regret, resignation, or despondence? Perhaps none of the above, perhaps all?
"I want to know you," she began, "I have to admit that you intrigue me, that there's just something about you that draws me in. But before I can, I have to know something. I have to bring something out in the open before I can let you into my life."
The tone of her voice, the seriousness of her words, the intensity of her eyes all conveyed her hesitation, her reluctance to speak. Yet Mitsuko knew that she needed to lay her cards on the table, that she needed to reveal everything before she proceeded in befriending the girl across from her. It needed to be said, it needed to be brought out into the open lest the girl find out later and hate her because of it. Easier to break the bond now then later. Mitsuko knew all too well the pain of losing someone she cared for because that person could not handle who she was. What she was…
Haruka was surprised at Mitsuko's initial reservations. What could it be that Mitsuko wanted to ask her? At first, Haruka thought that her question would be along the lines of 'how'd you learn to fight like that' or 'why did you save me', but from the tone of Mitsuko's voice, Haruka believed the question to be more serious. A question so serious that the answer could either make or break a friendship…
Mitsuko had said that she wanted to know her…
Wanted to know her…someone wanted to get to know her. Someone saw past her barrier, her wall, her defences, someone was interested in pursuing a friendship. A friend, Haruka could be someone's friend. What a concept; Haruka thought herself beyond friends, beyond being able to make a connection with another. To date, the only person that could even classify as a friend was Kumada, but he was more of an older brother, a role model. This was the first time a person near her own age had made the effort to approach her, to befriend her. Friendship: what a revolutionary concept.
Of course, all this depended on her reaction to Mitsuko's question. Whatever that was.
Haruka focused all of her attention on Mitsuko; she leaned her body as close to her as possible and smiled encouragly. "You can trust me," her eyes said.
Mitsuko continued, "Tenou-san, I must know if you were bothered by what those boys...thought about me."
What a question! "Of course I was bothered!" she exclaimed, "They ganged up on you and tried to hurt you just because they thought you were…" she hesitated, "Just because of some stupid beliefs…how could you possibly think I wouldn't be bothered by something like that?"
Mitsuko shook her head, "That's not what I meant. Were you bothered by what those boys said? About me?"
Confused, Haruka was unsure on how to respond. What exactly did she mean?
"Did it bother you that they called me…" she trailed off, then spat out the words as if sour, "a queer? Does it bother you?"
"That they called you a queer? Those boys are just idiots, Sora-san, just a bunch of stupid fucks. Sure, I'm bothered that they insulted you; I wanted to kill that bastard and his stupid friends!"
"But were you bothered that he called me a queer? Because I…I won't deny it. I am…and I'm not going to hide it." She said this with conviction, but still the fear remained in her eyes. "Are you bothered that I'm gay?"
Haruka was momentarily stunned. Bothered that she was gay? Why would she think such a thing…and then Haruka read between the lines. It had probably happened before. Others had probably been bothered once they learned the truth about her. Others had turned against her. So Mitsuko didn't want to risk being hurt again. She didn't want to start a friendship, only to have it unravel once her friend learned the truth. That was why Mitsuko asked her point-blank. It had happened before, and Mitsuko did not want to be hurt again.
Carefully Haruka considered her words. "It doesn't bother me, Sora-san. I'm not like those boys; I'm not so shallow. I would never judge you based on something like that."
"Really?" she asked, as if in disbelief. As if she couldn't believe that there was someone out there that accepted her as she was.
"Really," Haruka reassured.
She sighed in relief, and a smile lit up her face. "I was so worried, so worried that you'd judge me, just like everyone else…I was so worried that you'd leave." And she laughed shakily, a release of tension perhaps, of relief.
Haruka scowled. "I would never judge someone based on something like that. How could you ever think that I'm like those boys, Sora-san?"
She shook her head, "I never for a minute thought that you were like those boys, Tenou-san. I just thought that maybe…maybe you wouldn't want to hang around someone who's gay. So many people pretend that it doesn't bother them, when in reality…" And here she stopped, a sudden sigh escaping.
"She looks so sad," thought Haruka, "As if she's going to cry."
Indeed she did. Large tears shone in her eyes and ran down her cheeks, smudging her eye make-up, but she didn't lower her head. She wasn't ashamed.
So fragile, yet so strong. To stand up for herself against those boys, to refuse to renounce herself, to refuse to deny her sexuality…that took courage. So brave, to stand up for herself and others like her. Haruka felt admiration for this girl, this Mitsuko, this lone warrior against the world…
"Hey, hey," Haruka mumbled, embarrassed. "It's OK, Sora-san, please…"
Rubbing her eyes with her napkin, Mitsuko smiled through her tears. "After a while, you give up hope. I've tried so many times to approach others, but have always been met by opposition. Ever since I came out…I've lost everyone."
"You've been hurt before," a statement, not a question.
"Once others find out the truth, they leave me. Or pursue me…but in a different way."
"Like those boys…"said Haruka, feeling sick. She had a suspicion that this was not the first time that Mitsuko had been harassed, and she had a feeling that it would not be the last.
"Like those boys," she agreed. "I hardly even know them, yet they found it their business to 'educate me'. Their words, not mine."
Haruka leaned her elbows on the counter and took Mitsuko's hand in hers. It was warm, soft…and so small. She traced her fingertips down Mitsuko's palm, and turned her hand over. She looked so sad…Haruka only wanted to comfort her. Her hand was so small; she was so frail…how could she possibly stand up against those boys? How did she find the courage to stand up for who she was, to withstand their insults and refuse to renounce her identity? How could she find the courage to declare what she was…when Haruka was unable to even admit it to herself?
"I want to protect her," she thought as her hand grasped Mitsuko's, "I want to comfort her…"
Mitsuko couldn't breathe; she closed her eyes and concentrated on the feel of Haruka's fingers. They glided over her palm and then stroked the back of her hand. The motions were slow, very slow, and soothing. The feel of her fingers…how could such a soft touch ignite such deep feelings? How could the feel of slender fingers on her palm cause her breasts to ache, her heartbeat to quicken? How was it that the smallest touch could create the largest sensations?
"I'm sorry," she whispered, "Dragging you here to hear about my problems. I didn't mean to cry, it's just…"
Haruka squeezed her hand. "Don't be."
Mitsuko leaned over and brushed a strand of Haruka's hair behind her ear. Her fingers just grazed her cheek, accidentally, but what she did next was not unintentional. She cupped Haruka's face in her hands, and stared deep into her eyes. They leaned their foreheads together, their lips inches apart…
The sweet smell of her perfume, lily of the valley…Haruka inhaled her scent and sighed softly. The curve of her neck, the slant of her brows, the softness of her cheek…
This close to Haruka, Mitsuko could see the prominent, high cheekbones usually hidden by her hair. She felt the strong line of Haruka's jaw with her fingers; she stroked her cheek and moved her fingers down towards…
Her lips, so red…what would it feel like to press her own lips against hers? To feel those lips part, to taste her sweet breath, to explore the inside of her mouth with her own? Only inches apart, did she dare?
Suddenly the heavy footsteps of the waitress approached them. The moment was broken. Haruka quickly reclined back into her chair and hid her face behind the menu. Mitsuko looked down sadly and folded her hands in her lap.
"Watch it, Tenou," she warned herself, "Don't get too involved, only bad things could happen."
"So close," thought Mitsuko, "But I can't get carried away, she's only in junior high, after all. Don't ruin your chance for friendship by giving into your desires."
However relieved they both were, they were also disappointed. Both wanted to touch…but doing so was dangerous for them both. One mustn't act too hastily in a situation as serious as this.
The nylon-clad waitress stopped in front of their table with a sigh; she cracked her gum, pulled out a notepad and asked them what they wanted.
They both answered without a glance at the waitress; Haruka hid her red face behind the menu, while Mitsuko gazed wistfully at Haruka. She took in her sloppy blouse with the crooked red bow, wrinkled and faded from being washed too many times, the way her long hair spilled from its ponytail, the way she hid her face behind the menu. She was tempted to brush the unruly strands from her face, but didn't dare. It had been too fast, too soon to touch the girl that way, but her hands…they couldn't resist. That girl across from her, that tall blond with the stormy eyes and the mass of wild hair, she was someone special. Her body was so long and lean, so slender but strong at the same time. The soft swell of her breasts from beneath her blouse, the gentle curve of her hips…she wanted this girl to hold her, to press that strong body against hers.
Her voice was strong, standoffish…but intoxicating none the less. The deep tone of her voice sent a thrill down her body, warming her from head to toes. Recalling her reassuring words, the way her voice had lowered, the way her mouth curved slightly at the corners, the smoothness of that voice, it made her melt.
The waitress was still talking; Mitsuko scowled as she broke her concentration. Who cared if they were out of chocolate? Who cared, when across from her was a young woman who was more appealing than any chocolate could be? Who stimulated her senses beyond the power of chocolate? She probably tasted better, too…
"Don't even think about it," she chastised herself, "Don't you even dare or you'll lose her…"
The prospect of losing her…why was it that the mere thought depressed her? She had known Haruka for approximately half an hour, so why was it that she felt that she'd be unable to live without her? Just who was this young woman across from her?
Haruka scowled at the menu, wondering why the basic katakana was illegible to her.
"How is it that I can't concentrate on this damned menu?" she cursed inwardly, "Why is it that I can't stop thinking of her…"
The waitress cracked her gum; Haruka finally just asked for a tea as she figured that every restaurant probably sold it. It seemed that she was right as the waitress jotted her order down and mercifully left.
Both were unable to speak for several minutes, still recovering from the earlier scene. Haruka couldn't look at Mitsuko as she feared that her thoughts would be written across her face, Mitsuko feared that Haruka would flee if she saw the longing in her eyes.
Both internally decided that it was best to keep their feelings to themselves, at least for the time being. Neither was aware on how the other felt. Besides, neither felt that pursuing their feelings was worth losing their newfound friendship. Although they had known each other for less than an hour, both highly valued their friendship. Neither had ever connected on such a deep level with another, neither had ever had a true friend. No, it was best for them to keep their feelings hidden as the price of speaking out was simply too high.
And Haruka simply wasn't ready to admit to herself that she felt this way towards another girl. She had enough adversaries as it was. Revealing to the world this past of her would only complicate matters, it would only result in hurting both herself and her mother.
Her mother. How Kotano would react…she would turn her ice blue eyes on her daughter, eyes filled with disgust and contempt, and renounce her. Her mother, her beautiful, aloof mother, so vain, so stereotypical, so critical, so unyielding…so set in her ways. If she came out, then her mother would hate her. She would lose her mother.
No, Haruka vowed to never let her secret out, she would guard it from her mother, from the world…and from Mitsuko.
They exchanged nervous glances, both feeling somewhat unsure of themselves. Haruka felt the urge to bolt, to leave this room and her feelings as well…but she sustained the impulse. She couldn't keep running away, damnit!
She couldn't keep running…but deep inside Haruka knew that she was still running. Even if she didn't move from her seat, she was still running from the truth. Still trying to escape these feelings, these desires, she hid them deep inside herself and avoided thinking of. These feelings, a part of her for so long. Kept secret lest the world find out and condemn her for them. Persecute her.
Just like they did to Mitsuko…
"…ou-san? Tenou-san?"
Haruka opened her eyes and laughed shakily. "Don't know what's wrong with me today, that bastard must have hit me harder than I thought…"
"Are you sure he didn't hit your head?" she asked.
"Hey!" Haruka exclaimed, but laughing afterwards. "That was pretty sly, Sora-san…" Suddenly she stopped laughing as she realised that Mitsuko wasn't joining in.
Haruka started to apologise, but Mitsuko dismissed it with a wave of her hand.
"You saved my life," she said.
"Hey, hey," protested Haruka, "I wouldn't go that far…"
But Mitsuko was serious. "Those type of boys, they never know when to quit. Once they get carried away…anything could happen. They were angry, Tenou-san, really angry…judging from the look in his eyes, I honestly think that he would have killed me if you hadn't interfered."
"Just what happened today, Sora-san?" she asked gently. "Just why were those boys after you?"
She shrugged her shoulders, "It's hard to say exactly what happened. I was walking home from school when two boys grabbed me and dragged me into the alley. Hitotsugi was waiting for me there."
"Is Hitotsugi the man-boy, I mean, the one I fought?"
She nodded. "Yes, that was him. I don't know him well, but he has a rather large reputation at my school. He's the type of person that is best avoided, especially by people like me. I'm sure you're familiar with his type, Tenou-san."
"You could say that," she replied. The mental picture of Saeki pushing the poor retarded boy in the mud was one of many examples of her encounters with Hitotsugi's type.
"He's a senior, so we've never even exchanged words. I'm sure that he didn't even know that I existed until he found out I was gay. As I've told you, I don't deny being gay, but I don't exactly draw attention to it. However, there were several people that knew, and somehow or other the word got out. Unfortunately, it ultimately reached Hitotsugi."
Their eyes met; Haruka felt the overwhelming urge to grasp her hand, but restrained herself.
"Easy, Tenou," she told herself, "Don't get too close…"
"When Hitotsugi learned that I was gay…he sought me out. Came right up to me, on school property, and threatened me. Insulted me. Demanded the truth, as if he had the right…"Her voice shook with sudden anger, her eyes flashed, "As if he had the right to know such personal things about me! As if he had the right to condemn me! He dared to insult me, Tenou-san, he called me, he called me…"
Haruka knew what he had called her. That horrible word, that disgusting, derogatory, humiliating word…that word that stung like no other…he had dared…
"He forced me to tell him…so I did. I didn't deny it, Tenou-san, I wouldn't deny it! He couldn't make me!" she struck her fist against the table; the thump startled them both. "I think that's what angered him the most, that I wouldn't deny it. He threatened me…but I was able to escape. That time."
"Then this has been ongoing,"
"Yes. Since we're in different grades it has been possible for me to avoid him, and if I stayed in sight of a teacher, he couldn't do anything. But he's been following me, Tenou-san, he's been following me home, him and his asshole friends…they've been threatening me. Several times they've chased me, and up until today I was able to escape. Today they jumped me; I didn't see it coming."
Didn't see it coming…
"Hitotsugi was waiting there, he must have skipped school today to be able to wait for me. His face…in the shadows he looked sinister, he looked crazy! He gave me an ultimatum: either I deny the fact that I'm gay…or he'd be forced to 'educate me'. I couldn't deny it, Tenou-san, I just couldn't! I know that it was foolish, but I can't keep hiding, I can't keep running!"
"I can't keep running…" Haruka echoed. Can't keep running…
"I think that's what sent him over the edge, the fact that I wouldn't back down. The fact that I wouldn't deny my sexuality to save my life. When I saw the look in his eyes…I was certain that he was going to kill me. Yet I just couldn't recant what I had said, I just couldn't! I knew what was at stake but I was unable to say a word!"
She wouldn't deny it to save her life…
"And then you came," she whispered, "And you saved my life. My Eiyuu."
My Eiyuu…
The waitress came and dumped their drinks on the table without a word and left promptly. Neither Haruka nor Mitsuko took any notice, however.
Haruka was amazed at both her bravery and her stupidity. To risk her life for such a thing, it was beyond her comprehension. Who cared what some stupid asshole thought of her? Who cared if she lied about her sexuality if it would save her life? What difference could it possibly make?
Of course, Mitsuko saw things differently. She had struggled with her sexuality for years until she had finally had enough. Why should she have to hide her true self from others? What gave them the right to condemn her? What gave them the power to make her feel dirty, ashamed, embarrassed about that part of herself? Nothing would persuade her to deny that part of herself, not Hitotsugi, not society, not the world. She was who she was and nothing could change that fact. If others couldn't accept this, then that was their problem. Mitsuko was wise beyond her years, but ultimately would suffer because of it.
"I may have stopped him this time," Haruka muttered, "but what happens when you see him again? He's bound to be mad, bound to be livid…what happens when you cross paths again?"
Mitsuko sighed, "I don't know. I'm sure that he'll be out for quite a while, thanks to you."
"But he'll be back, eventually he'll be back. The question is, will he be too scared to approach you, or will he be so angry that he'll want revenge?"
"I honestly don't know," she replied, "But either way, what can be done about it?"
"I'll be there for you," Haruka declared, "He can't try anything on school property, but after school, I'll be there. I'll kill him if he tries anything, Sora-san, I seriously will. I'll protect you."
{I'll be there for you}
Such a strong statement, such a big promise, but Haruka intended on keeping her word. She'd stay by Mitsuko; she'd fight any asshole that threatened her.
"She'll be there for me," Mitsuko smiled at the thought. "She'll protect me…" such selfless words.
"I couldn't ask you to do that, Tenou-san. I couldn't ask you to risk your life…"
"But you didn't ask," Haruka replied and winked, "I'm the one who suggested it. So I guess its OK, right?"
She couldn't help but laugh, "I couldn't stop you if I tried, could I?"
"Nothing stops me once I've set my mind on something," declared Haruka, "So I guess you're stuck with me."
It was at this precise moment that both knew there was no going back; they were in this together.
"We're connected for life, Tenou-san. By saving my life you have established an unbreakable bond between us."
How could you respond to a statement like that?
The tea was cold and incredibly strong; Haruka had failed to remove the teabag. However, this hardly mattered, as she was unable to taste it anyways.
Mitsuko unwrapped the straw and dropped it into her strawberry milkshake, wondering vaguely why it wasn't chocolate. As if it mattered.
"Sora-san,"
Mitsuko looked at the girl across from her and felt that unmistakable twinge of desire. How sad that in this world her attraction for this girl was seen as wrong, as dirty. If only things were different she would tell her how she felt. If only things were different she would take that girl in her arms and hold her close, lay her head against her breasts and listen to the steady rhythm of her heart. If only things were different…
"Everyone calls me 'Sora-san'. You're not just anyone, though. Can't we drop the formalities?"
The sentence 'everyone calls me Sora-san'…what was the meaning behind it? Why did Haruka have the feeling that it was in someway important?
"I'd love it if you called me 'Mitsuko'…"
"Mitsuko," she echoed, loving the sensation of calling her by her given name, "Mitsuko, you can call me 'Haruka', if you want."
She grinned. "Ok, Haruka. Haruka. My, that sounds much better! Considering the fact that you saved my life, I'd think dropping the formalities is appropriate."
The simple ability to call each other by their given names was a novelty to both; neither had ever had a close enough friend to use this degree of familiarity before. To be able to call each other 'Haruka' or 'Mitsuko' was evidence that they were indeed friends.
By the time Haruka had to leave for karate, both had opened up a great deal to each other. Both were able to be honest with each other, both were able to just be themselves. An incredible sensation for both: to be accepted for yourself and to be able to speak your mind without fear of the other's backlash.
However, neither mentioned the way they felt towards the other. Both were wary of putting their friendship in jeopardy. There was too much at stake, the risks were too great. Still, their feelings remained a constant for both; neither could dismiss the way they felt towards the other. As time went on, these feelings only deepened, until denying them became impossible.
*****
The change in her demeanour was sudden and unexpected. What was the reason for the lightness of her step, the brightness of her eyes, the ever-constant smile on her face? Where was her ever-present anger, her 'fuck off' attitude?
Something had happened.
Kumada watched her breeze through the door, long hair trailing behind her and a soft smile on her face. She stepped into the change-room and emerged clad in her faded blue uniform, her hair tied in a tight braid and stuffed into a cap that advertised 'Kumada Motors'. Heading towards the gold Honda racer, swinging a wrench in her hand, Kumada could have sworn he heard her singing.
Just what had happened to his prodigy?
Underneath the car she went; Kumada turned his gaze over to the Mercedes he and two of his mechanics were working on. This was a real beauty, a silver Mercedes SL600 Roadster. The guy that owned it wanted a custom design on it; Kumada was looking forward to transforming this baby into a showpiece.
However, Kumada found himself unable to concentrate on the Mercedes as he found his mind wandering towards Tenou.
Just what was up with her, anyways? Tenou was like a whirlwind; she coursed through life at breakneck speed and totally exhausted all that tried to keep up with her. No one could catch her; by foot or by car, Tenou Haruka was unsurpassable.
There was just no understanding that girl, he thought, but that didn't keep him from trying.
"Hey, Kumada-san, are you listening?"
"Huh?" he replied and saw that both his mechanics, Urawa and Sumoto, were grinning.
"What's hotter than a bitch in heat?" asked his number one mechanic, Urawa.
Kumada shrugged, "Dunno. What?"
He snickered, "Her twat!"
Both of his mechanics then started laughing idiotically, practically supporting each other, as they were laughing too hard to stand on their own.
"Oh, real mature, guys," Kumada smirked, shaking his head. "Where'd you hear that one?"
"He read it off the bathroom wall," Sumoto giggled, then started to hiccup.
Kumada glanced over in Tenou's direction, hoping that she hadn't witnessed this pathetic scene. He didn't like the idea of her being exposed to such crude humour; after all, she was a girl and only thirteen to boot. He looked out for her, and gave hell to anyone who bothered her. Although Tenou didn't seem to need his intervention: after seeing how capable she was around cars, most of the racers and mechanics grudgingly gave her respect. The regulars just accepted her as one of the gang; while that was good in most ways it resulted in her being subjected to their crude humour. Even though she didn't seem to mind the guys' filthy jokes, Kumada still felt responsible for her.
Thankfully she was completely absorbed in changing the Honda's oil. She probably hadn't heard.
"Haven't I told you two fucks to keep your filthy mouths shut around the kid?" He threatened.
Urawa grinned, "Aw, common, Kumada-san! You don't mind, do you, Tenou?"
From beneath the car came her muffled reply, "It wouldn't bother me half as much if your jokes were actually funny."
"Shit!" gasped Urawa, "You didn't think that was funny? I almost pissed myself when I heard that one,"
"Considering you were on the toilet at the time, that hardly surprises me."
Kumada sighed; it hardly seemed necessary to protect her from these guys. However, he wasn't about to let these guys get away with it…
"Well, maybe Tenou isn't bothered by you two," Kumada lectured, "but here at Kumada Motors we have a certain code of ethics that must be followed."
"Jesus, listen to him," laughed Sumoto, "He sounds like that fat chick from the bureau of 'Safe Workplace Environments', doesn't he, Urawa?"
"Like the fuckin' Pope himself," Urawa replied.
Kumada rolled his eyes. "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I don't feel like being fucking sued by that 'fat chick', myself. Just what do you think would happen if some old lady walked in and heard you two going on about 'hot twats'?"
"Dunno," said Sumoto, "Probably pass a kidney stone right on the fuckin' floor."
They both proceeded to laugh like the couple of retards they were.
"What would an old lady be doing here, anyways?" snickered Urawa, "Getting a body job on her fuckin' Buick?"
Kumada hated to admit that they were right; Kumada Motors was a racetrack, and their specialty did happen to be custom work on racecars… but damnit, you never knew!
"Nevertheless its up to us to promote a stable and friendly work environment…"he trailed off, conscious that he really did sound like that fat chick.
"Then you'd better pitch those old magazines in your office," interrupted Sumoto, "Wouldn't want to offend any chicks that come by."
Kumada was aware that he was blushing; he felt like smashing his fist through Sumoto's face. It was true, he did have a few old pornos in his office, but damnit, did that stupid shit have to bring it up? In front of Tenou?
Luckily Tenou had left the auto-body shop. Kumada sighed in relief; he didn't want her to know about his rather dirty pastimes.
"Just shut the fuck up Sumoto, if you know what's good for you." He threatened, however neither was impressed as they both continued to laugh like a couple of pansies.
"Hey, Kumada-san?" asked Urawa, "You're about as tied up as a whore's phone line, man. Just what's got your panties in a knot?"
"Yeah, man!" contributed Sumoto, "You're as uptight as a bitch going through her monthlies! What's up?"
However deranged their way of speaking may be, those two fucks got it right on. His panties were tied in a knot, so to speak. But it didn't give them the right to mock him.
"Nothing, and if I were you, I'd shut the fuck up, you rat's assholes!" He snarled, grabbing the filthy towel off the table and wiping the sweat from his brow. Even though it wasn't quite spring yet, the auto-body shop could get as hot as a Dutch oven.
"You wish you were us!" Urawa grinned, displaying a set of teeth badly in need of orthodontic work. "Two red-hot stallions with the female population at their feet." He ran his oily hand through the long, shaggy strands of his mullet.
"Like hell," Kumada mumbled, but couldn't help but laugh. Those two were just priceless.
"So what's bothering you, man?" asked Sumoto, "Some chick won't let you sample her merchandise?"
Kumada shook his head in disbelief. "Is that all you guys think about? Jesus H. Christ, one of these days I really am going to get my ass sued by some organisation or other."
"Let's not go there again," moaned Urawa. "If you want to keep your trap shut, then I respect that. Jeez, you're as touchy as a bitch in heat."
"Hey, that reminds me…"Sumoto trailed off as they both burst into laughter, probably recalling the stupid joke that started this whole argument.
With a furious glare in their direction, Kumada turned his back and left the shop. He heard them snickering in the distance, but didn't bother returning. He didn't have time for those two and their antics. Not when he had more pressing issues on his mind
The question burned through his thoughts, "what's up with Tenou?"
He found her hanging up the tools in the supply room. Her back was to him; she seemed oblivious to his presence.
Looking at her, Kumada was struck by just how much she'd grown the past few months. The pant legs of her uniform ended several inches above her ankles, revealing several inches of creamy white skin. Her hair was spilling from her cap; it reached past her slim waist. Through the baggy fabric, the outlines of her budding figure were visible. She started to turn around, and he caught sight of how her breasts filled out the shirt of her uniform; Kumada was aware that he was staring at her.
He quickly backed out from the room lest she catch him watching. Unable to face her, he was conscious of how red his face was.
Something had defiantly happened to her. He recalled the way she had greeted him earlier that afternoon, the smile on her face buoyant. Usually she arrived pissed from some debate with either a teacher or another student; usually she looked as if she would break the jaw of anyone who dared to look at her cross-eyed. Tenou usually wasn't…happy.
The thought struck him that for the first time in ages Tenou was actually happy. Amazing, at times he felt her incapable of happiness. Sure, when she was on the bike she seemed free, but that wasn't the same thing. Escape wasn't happiness; it was more akin to relief. The question was what caused this sudden shift in her personality.
Standing behind the door, Kumada saw her leave the supply-room and head for the change room. Within minutes she emerged in jeans and a sweatshirt, her hair in a loose ponytail. Watching from the window, Kumada saw her step outside. Waiting for her was the frail figure of a young woman; they linked arms and left together.
"What'cha doing, Kumada-san?" The voice of Urawa interrupted his thoughts; Kumada banged his fist against the wall in frustration.
"What do you think I'm doing?" he barked, "I'm just having a fucking cigarette," he pulled a package of Camels from his breast pocket and expertly lit it with an engraved lighter.
"Can I bum one off you?" Urawa asked; Kumada offered his pack grudgingly. He lit the cigarette with a match and then proceeded to throw it out the open door.
Puffing on his cigarette, Kumada was aware of the strange way Urawa was looking at him. With interest, but with distrust as well. Despite the fact that Urawa hadn't passed his high school entrance exams, that stupid fuck was pretty damned observant.
Pretty damned observant…maybe he knew what was going on with Tenou? It wouldn't hurt to try…
"Say, Urawa," he began, "Notice anything strange about the kid lately?"
Urawa suddenly looked at him with suspicion. His dark eyes narrowed and he sucked in a deep breath of smoke. His words were edged with warning. "What do you mean?"
Kumada shrugged. "Dunno, she just seems…different, somehow. Usually she's kind of, you know, pissed at the world…but lately she seems…almost happy."
Urawa's eyebrow twitched, "Is that so unusual?"
Kumada shrugged again. "For her it is. I'm just wondering if you noticed anything, that's all. Not that it's important or anything, just curious."
"Just curious, huh?" he smirked, "as long as it doesn't go beyond curiosity." A warning, Urawa was warning him…but what about? What was that dirty little fuck warning him about?
"Just because your mind lives in the gutter doesn't mean mine does." Kumada snapped, his eyes glowing red with anger. "Remember your place, Urawa."
Urawa flinched, then lowered his eyes. "Sorry, Boss, I…"
"Just forget it," he muttered, rubbing his temples in exasperation. He had dared to suggest…
"Now that you mention it, Kumada-san, I have noticed something different about the kid," he supplied, eager to make up with his boss. Sometimes he crossed the line, and he lived in fear of going too far and losing his job. "There's no way he's like that," he consoled himself, "They're just buddies. To think a thing like that…"
"What?" demanded Kumada, forgetting to seem disinterested.
"She does seem happier, but there's a simple enough explanation for it." He said.
"And that would be…" Kumada pressured.
"Well, isn't it obvious?" he grinned, "The kid's fallen in love! Jeez, hard to miss something like that…"
"…Fallen in love…"Urawa's words echoed throughout Kumada's head. "Fallen in love…"
The girl who was waiting outside, the way they linked arms…
"Oh my God," he whispered, the meaning becoming clear. In love, Tenou's fallen in love…
*****
{Hope everyone liked this next instalment. The comments from Chapter 10 are greatly appreciated! Don't be afraid to tell me what you think of this chapter as I take into consideration all suggestions. Feel free to comment on Mitsuko, Hoshino, Kumada, Kotano and those two stupid fucks (more ideas for stupid/dirty jokes!) Please R&R!
BTW anything written from Kumada's/two stupid fucks' point of view are their views, not mine!}
See you in chapter 12 (hopefully!)
-Brandt
She couldn't keep her eyes off of her.
Walking beside her, Haruka couldn't help but steal glances at her. The things she immediately noticed: Mitsuko was tall, but not as tall as herself. Her hair was black and streaked with chunky red highlights. A cascade of silver hoop earrings dangled from her earlobes; in the sunlight they shone. Her eyes were a pale green; lined with charcoal eyeliner…and they met her gaze.
"Shit," Haruka moaned inwardly; how embarrassing, to be caught staring…
Mitsuko, however, didn't seem to mind; she just squeezed her hand softly. And smiled.
"She's holding my hand," thought Haruka, "she's smiling at me…"
And indeed she was; Mitsuko seemed as enamoured with Haruka as Haruka was with her.
"My Eiyuu," Mitsuko had said…my hero. Her voice had been breathy, sensual, intoxicating. Why was it that her words echoed through Haruka's mind, through her heart? Why was it that Haruka felt as if she needed to prove herself true to Mitsuko's words?
How was it that everything could change in a blink of an eye?
Too soon the walk ended, and they stood in front of a rather dingy café. Haruka looked inside the seemingly deserted restaurant sceptically. Mitsuko caught her look; Haruka cursed her transparency.
"I know it doesn't look like much," Mitsuko explained, "but it's private. Plus they serve the best milkshakes."
Haruka grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, sorry…didn't know you could read minds,"
Mitsuko lowered her eyelids seductively, then whispered in Haruka's ear, "I'm a sorceress of many talents, Tenou-san,"
"That so?" she replied unsteadily, caught off guard by Mitsuko's forward conduct.
"Oh, yes," she said, then lowered her eyes mysteriously, "I'm rather affluent in the ways of luring angry young men into dark alleys,"
Haruka lifted her eyebrow ever so slightly; Mitsuko burst out laughing.
"Tenou-san, you're really something! You didn't think I was serious, did you?"
"No, of course not…" but her expression betrayed her; Mitsuko continued to laugh until Haruka was forced to joined her.
Mitsuko wiped tears from her eyes. "You're just too much, you know?" she said, grinning. She grabbed Haruka by the arm and led her inside the restaurant.
A waitress in a nylon blouse chewing on an enormous wad of gum greeted them with a grunt; how she was able to speak at all was astonishing.
"Table for two, please," Mitsuko said politely; as soon as the waitress turned her back Mitsuko crossed her eyes and Haruka couldn't help but grin.
The waitress led them to a corner table in the back of the restaurant reluctantly, as if the thought of dealing with two teenagers was just too much for her to deal with. They were seated across from each other; the waitress dropped two tattered menus on the table and with another inaudible grunt, was gone.
"Talk about service with a smile," Haruka muttered, removing her jacket and draping it over the chair.
"More like 'service with a smirk'," replied Mitsuko, removing her jacket as well. Underneath her navy blue blazer she wore a loose white blouse; a silver chain dipped between her breasts. Haruka caught herself staring again, and quickly lowered her gaze lest Mitsuko catch her.
"The chocolate milkshakes are to die for," she said, handing Haruka one of the menus. Their hands touched briefly; a pleasant sensation travelled through Haruka's fingertips. Her hand…Mitsuko's fingers were warm and her nails were painted with chipped maroon polish. Something about her fingernails sent shivers down her spine.
"Oh?" replied Haruka, reluctantly taking the menu and losing contact with her fingers. She scanned the menu critically, but did not read a word. How could she concentrate on food when Mitsuko sat across from her?
"Strawberry's good, too," she said.
"Oh," Haruka replied, her thoughts a million miles away. Remembering the feel of those hands undoing her blouse, on her bare skin, stroking, caressing…
"You're pretty cute, you know?"
"Oh," Haruka replied again, not hearing; she lifted her eyes and was surprised to see Mitsuko grinning mischievously. "What?" she asked, confused as to why the girl was snickering.
"You weren't listening to me, Tenou-san," she teased, wagging her finger disapprovingly. "Is the menu so fascinating?"
"Uh," Haruka trailed off, at a loss. Shit. She was caught.
However, Mitsuko was not angry. In fact, she seemed rather amused with how flustered Haruka was growing.
"I…what did you say?" she asked sheepishly.
Mitsuko crossed her arms across her breasts in mock upset, however the corners of her mouth were turned up as if hiding a smile. "You know, Tenou-san, it isn't polite to ignore people,"
Haruka grinned, "Well, who ever said I was polite?"
They laughed; the situation was so strange, to both of them. This was the first time that Haruka felt so carefree with another person, the first time she was able to just kid around, flirt, be herself.
It was incredible how quickly they warmed to each other. Haruka's usual standoffish demeanour disappeared; she didn't need to be on her guard around this girl.
However, Haruka still remained cautious. There were things about her that she felt too personal to reveal. Perhaps with time…
Their laughter dissolved as the true reason for their meeting dawned on them; suddenly the carefree atmosphere was replaced as the seriousness of the situation became apparent. Both were apprehensive: Haruka on what Mitsuko was going to ask her, Mitsuko on how Haruka would react. However much they liked each other certain matters needed to be brought to the surface and resolved before a friendship could develop.
Haruka was the first to break the silence. "Just what was it that you wanted to ask me?"
Looking down at her hands, then at Haruka. An unreadable expression on her face, was it fear, apprehension, regret, resignation, or despondence? Perhaps none of the above, perhaps all?
"I want to know you," she began, "I have to admit that you intrigue me, that there's just something about you that draws me in. But before I can, I have to know something. I have to bring something out in the open before I can let you into my life."
The tone of her voice, the seriousness of her words, the intensity of her eyes all conveyed her hesitation, her reluctance to speak. Yet Mitsuko knew that she needed to lay her cards on the table, that she needed to reveal everything before she proceeded in befriending the girl across from her. It needed to be said, it needed to be brought out into the open lest the girl find out later and hate her because of it. Easier to break the bond now then later. Mitsuko knew all too well the pain of losing someone she cared for because that person could not handle who she was. What she was…
Haruka was surprised at Mitsuko's initial reservations. What could it be that Mitsuko wanted to ask her? At first, Haruka thought that her question would be along the lines of 'how'd you learn to fight like that' or 'why did you save me', but from the tone of Mitsuko's voice, Haruka believed the question to be more serious. A question so serious that the answer could either make or break a friendship…
Mitsuko had said that she wanted to know her…
Wanted to know her…someone wanted to get to know her. Someone saw past her barrier, her wall, her defences, someone was interested in pursuing a friendship. A friend, Haruka could be someone's friend. What a concept; Haruka thought herself beyond friends, beyond being able to make a connection with another. To date, the only person that could even classify as a friend was Kumada, but he was more of an older brother, a role model. This was the first time a person near her own age had made the effort to approach her, to befriend her. Friendship: what a revolutionary concept.
Of course, all this depended on her reaction to Mitsuko's question. Whatever that was.
Haruka focused all of her attention on Mitsuko; she leaned her body as close to her as possible and smiled encouragly. "You can trust me," her eyes said.
Mitsuko continued, "Tenou-san, I must know if you were bothered by what those boys...thought about me."
What a question! "Of course I was bothered!" she exclaimed, "They ganged up on you and tried to hurt you just because they thought you were…" she hesitated, "Just because of some stupid beliefs…how could you possibly think I wouldn't be bothered by something like that?"
Mitsuko shook her head, "That's not what I meant. Were you bothered by what those boys said? About me?"
Confused, Haruka was unsure on how to respond. What exactly did she mean?
"Did it bother you that they called me…" she trailed off, then spat out the words as if sour, "a queer? Does it bother you?"
"That they called you a queer? Those boys are just idiots, Sora-san, just a bunch of stupid fucks. Sure, I'm bothered that they insulted you; I wanted to kill that bastard and his stupid friends!"
"But were you bothered that he called me a queer? Because I…I won't deny it. I am…and I'm not going to hide it." She said this with conviction, but still the fear remained in her eyes. "Are you bothered that I'm gay?"
Haruka was momentarily stunned. Bothered that she was gay? Why would she think such a thing…and then Haruka read between the lines. It had probably happened before. Others had probably been bothered once they learned the truth about her. Others had turned against her. So Mitsuko didn't want to risk being hurt again. She didn't want to start a friendship, only to have it unravel once her friend learned the truth. That was why Mitsuko asked her point-blank. It had happened before, and Mitsuko did not want to be hurt again.
Carefully Haruka considered her words. "It doesn't bother me, Sora-san. I'm not like those boys; I'm not so shallow. I would never judge you based on something like that."
"Really?" she asked, as if in disbelief. As if she couldn't believe that there was someone out there that accepted her as she was.
"Really," Haruka reassured.
She sighed in relief, and a smile lit up her face. "I was so worried, so worried that you'd judge me, just like everyone else…I was so worried that you'd leave." And she laughed shakily, a release of tension perhaps, of relief.
Haruka scowled. "I would never judge someone based on something like that. How could you ever think that I'm like those boys, Sora-san?"
She shook her head, "I never for a minute thought that you were like those boys, Tenou-san. I just thought that maybe…maybe you wouldn't want to hang around someone who's gay. So many people pretend that it doesn't bother them, when in reality…" And here she stopped, a sudden sigh escaping.
"She looks so sad," thought Haruka, "As if she's going to cry."
Indeed she did. Large tears shone in her eyes and ran down her cheeks, smudging her eye make-up, but she didn't lower her head. She wasn't ashamed.
So fragile, yet so strong. To stand up for herself against those boys, to refuse to renounce herself, to refuse to deny her sexuality…that took courage. So brave, to stand up for herself and others like her. Haruka felt admiration for this girl, this Mitsuko, this lone warrior against the world…
"Hey, hey," Haruka mumbled, embarrassed. "It's OK, Sora-san, please…"
Rubbing her eyes with her napkin, Mitsuko smiled through her tears. "After a while, you give up hope. I've tried so many times to approach others, but have always been met by opposition. Ever since I came out…I've lost everyone."
"You've been hurt before," a statement, not a question.
"Once others find out the truth, they leave me. Or pursue me…but in a different way."
"Like those boys…"said Haruka, feeling sick. She had a suspicion that this was not the first time that Mitsuko had been harassed, and she had a feeling that it would not be the last.
"Like those boys," she agreed. "I hardly even know them, yet they found it their business to 'educate me'. Their words, not mine."
Haruka leaned her elbows on the counter and took Mitsuko's hand in hers. It was warm, soft…and so small. She traced her fingertips down Mitsuko's palm, and turned her hand over. She looked so sad…Haruka only wanted to comfort her. Her hand was so small; she was so frail…how could she possibly stand up against those boys? How did she find the courage to stand up for who she was, to withstand their insults and refuse to renounce her identity? How could she find the courage to declare what she was…when Haruka was unable to even admit it to herself?
"I want to protect her," she thought as her hand grasped Mitsuko's, "I want to comfort her…"
Mitsuko couldn't breathe; she closed her eyes and concentrated on the feel of Haruka's fingers. They glided over her palm and then stroked the back of her hand. The motions were slow, very slow, and soothing. The feel of her fingers…how could such a soft touch ignite such deep feelings? How could the feel of slender fingers on her palm cause her breasts to ache, her heartbeat to quicken? How was it that the smallest touch could create the largest sensations?
"I'm sorry," she whispered, "Dragging you here to hear about my problems. I didn't mean to cry, it's just…"
Haruka squeezed her hand. "Don't be."
Mitsuko leaned over and brushed a strand of Haruka's hair behind her ear. Her fingers just grazed her cheek, accidentally, but what she did next was not unintentional. She cupped Haruka's face in her hands, and stared deep into her eyes. They leaned their foreheads together, their lips inches apart…
The sweet smell of her perfume, lily of the valley…Haruka inhaled her scent and sighed softly. The curve of her neck, the slant of her brows, the softness of her cheek…
This close to Haruka, Mitsuko could see the prominent, high cheekbones usually hidden by her hair. She felt the strong line of Haruka's jaw with her fingers; she stroked her cheek and moved her fingers down towards…
Her lips, so red…what would it feel like to press her own lips against hers? To feel those lips part, to taste her sweet breath, to explore the inside of her mouth with her own? Only inches apart, did she dare?
Suddenly the heavy footsteps of the waitress approached them. The moment was broken. Haruka quickly reclined back into her chair and hid her face behind the menu. Mitsuko looked down sadly and folded her hands in her lap.
"Watch it, Tenou," she warned herself, "Don't get too involved, only bad things could happen."
"So close," thought Mitsuko, "But I can't get carried away, she's only in junior high, after all. Don't ruin your chance for friendship by giving into your desires."
However relieved they both were, they were also disappointed. Both wanted to touch…but doing so was dangerous for them both. One mustn't act too hastily in a situation as serious as this.
The nylon-clad waitress stopped in front of their table with a sigh; she cracked her gum, pulled out a notepad and asked them what they wanted.
They both answered without a glance at the waitress; Haruka hid her red face behind the menu, while Mitsuko gazed wistfully at Haruka. She took in her sloppy blouse with the crooked red bow, wrinkled and faded from being washed too many times, the way her long hair spilled from its ponytail, the way she hid her face behind the menu. She was tempted to brush the unruly strands from her face, but didn't dare. It had been too fast, too soon to touch the girl that way, but her hands…they couldn't resist. That girl across from her, that tall blond with the stormy eyes and the mass of wild hair, she was someone special. Her body was so long and lean, so slender but strong at the same time. The soft swell of her breasts from beneath her blouse, the gentle curve of her hips…she wanted this girl to hold her, to press that strong body against hers.
Her voice was strong, standoffish…but intoxicating none the less. The deep tone of her voice sent a thrill down her body, warming her from head to toes. Recalling her reassuring words, the way her voice had lowered, the way her mouth curved slightly at the corners, the smoothness of that voice, it made her melt.
The waitress was still talking; Mitsuko scowled as she broke her concentration. Who cared if they were out of chocolate? Who cared, when across from her was a young woman who was more appealing than any chocolate could be? Who stimulated her senses beyond the power of chocolate? She probably tasted better, too…
"Don't even think about it," she chastised herself, "Don't you even dare or you'll lose her…"
The prospect of losing her…why was it that the mere thought depressed her? She had known Haruka for approximately half an hour, so why was it that she felt that she'd be unable to live without her? Just who was this young woman across from her?
Haruka scowled at the menu, wondering why the basic katakana was illegible to her.
"How is it that I can't concentrate on this damned menu?" she cursed inwardly, "Why is it that I can't stop thinking of her…"
The waitress cracked her gum; Haruka finally just asked for a tea as she figured that every restaurant probably sold it. It seemed that she was right as the waitress jotted her order down and mercifully left.
Both were unable to speak for several minutes, still recovering from the earlier scene. Haruka couldn't look at Mitsuko as she feared that her thoughts would be written across her face, Mitsuko feared that Haruka would flee if she saw the longing in her eyes.
Both internally decided that it was best to keep their feelings to themselves, at least for the time being. Neither was aware on how the other felt. Besides, neither felt that pursuing their feelings was worth losing their newfound friendship. Although they had known each other for less than an hour, both highly valued their friendship. Neither had ever connected on such a deep level with another, neither had ever had a true friend. No, it was best for them to keep their feelings hidden as the price of speaking out was simply too high.
And Haruka simply wasn't ready to admit to herself that she felt this way towards another girl. She had enough adversaries as it was. Revealing to the world this past of her would only complicate matters, it would only result in hurting both herself and her mother.
Her mother. How Kotano would react…she would turn her ice blue eyes on her daughter, eyes filled with disgust and contempt, and renounce her. Her mother, her beautiful, aloof mother, so vain, so stereotypical, so critical, so unyielding…so set in her ways. If she came out, then her mother would hate her. She would lose her mother.
No, Haruka vowed to never let her secret out, she would guard it from her mother, from the world…and from Mitsuko.
They exchanged nervous glances, both feeling somewhat unsure of themselves. Haruka felt the urge to bolt, to leave this room and her feelings as well…but she sustained the impulse. She couldn't keep running away, damnit!
She couldn't keep running…but deep inside Haruka knew that she was still running. Even if she didn't move from her seat, she was still running from the truth. Still trying to escape these feelings, these desires, she hid them deep inside herself and avoided thinking of. These feelings, a part of her for so long. Kept secret lest the world find out and condemn her for them. Persecute her.
Just like they did to Mitsuko…
"…ou-san? Tenou-san?"
Haruka opened her eyes and laughed shakily. "Don't know what's wrong with me today, that bastard must have hit me harder than I thought…"
"Are you sure he didn't hit your head?" she asked.
"Hey!" Haruka exclaimed, but laughing afterwards. "That was pretty sly, Sora-san…" Suddenly she stopped laughing as she realised that Mitsuko wasn't joining in.
Haruka started to apologise, but Mitsuko dismissed it with a wave of her hand.
"You saved my life," she said.
"Hey, hey," protested Haruka, "I wouldn't go that far…"
But Mitsuko was serious. "Those type of boys, they never know when to quit. Once they get carried away…anything could happen. They were angry, Tenou-san, really angry…judging from the look in his eyes, I honestly think that he would have killed me if you hadn't interfered."
"Just what happened today, Sora-san?" she asked gently. "Just why were those boys after you?"
She shrugged her shoulders, "It's hard to say exactly what happened. I was walking home from school when two boys grabbed me and dragged me into the alley. Hitotsugi was waiting for me there."
"Is Hitotsugi the man-boy, I mean, the one I fought?"
She nodded. "Yes, that was him. I don't know him well, but he has a rather large reputation at my school. He's the type of person that is best avoided, especially by people like me. I'm sure you're familiar with his type, Tenou-san."
"You could say that," she replied. The mental picture of Saeki pushing the poor retarded boy in the mud was one of many examples of her encounters with Hitotsugi's type.
"He's a senior, so we've never even exchanged words. I'm sure that he didn't even know that I existed until he found out I was gay. As I've told you, I don't deny being gay, but I don't exactly draw attention to it. However, there were several people that knew, and somehow or other the word got out. Unfortunately, it ultimately reached Hitotsugi."
Their eyes met; Haruka felt the overwhelming urge to grasp her hand, but restrained herself.
"Easy, Tenou," she told herself, "Don't get too close…"
"When Hitotsugi learned that I was gay…he sought me out. Came right up to me, on school property, and threatened me. Insulted me. Demanded the truth, as if he had the right…"Her voice shook with sudden anger, her eyes flashed, "As if he had the right to know such personal things about me! As if he had the right to condemn me! He dared to insult me, Tenou-san, he called me, he called me…"
Haruka knew what he had called her. That horrible word, that disgusting, derogatory, humiliating word…that word that stung like no other…he had dared…
"He forced me to tell him…so I did. I didn't deny it, Tenou-san, I wouldn't deny it! He couldn't make me!" she struck her fist against the table; the thump startled them both. "I think that's what angered him the most, that I wouldn't deny it. He threatened me…but I was able to escape. That time."
"Then this has been ongoing,"
"Yes. Since we're in different grades it has been possible for me to avoid him, and if I stayed in sight of a teacher, he couldn't do anything. But he's been following me, Tenou-san, he's been following me home, him and his asshole friends…they've been threatening me. Several times they've chased me, and up until today I was able to escape. Today they jumped me; I didn't see it coming."
Didn't see it coming…
"Hitotsugi was waiting there, he must have skipped school today to be able to wait for me. His face…in the shadows he looked sinister, he looked crazy! He gave me an ultimatum: either I deny the fact that I'm gay…or he'd be forced to 'educate me'. I couldn't deny it, Tenou-san, I just couldn't! I know that it was foolish, but I can't keep hiding, I can't keep running!"
"I can't keep running…" Haruka echoed. Can't keep running…
"I think that's what sent him over the edge, the fact that I wouldn't back down. The fact that I wouldn't deny my sexuality to save my life. When I saw the look in his eyes…I was certain that he was going to kill me. Yet I just couldn't recant what I had said, I just couldn't! I knew what was at stake but I was unable to say a word!"
She wouldn't deny it to save her life…
"And then you came," she whispered, "And you saved my life. My Eiyuu."
My Eiyuu…
The waitress came and dumped their drinks on the table without a word and left promptly. Neither Haruka nor Mitsuko took any notice, however.
Haruka was amazed at both her bravery and her stupidity. To risk her life for such a thing, it was beyond her comprehension. Who cared what some stupid asshole thought of her? Who cared if she lied about her sexuality if it would save her life? What difference could it possibly make?
Of course, Mitsuko saw things differently. She had struggled with her sexuality for years until she had finally had enough. Why should she have to hide her true self from others? What gave them the right to condemn her? What gave them the power to make her feel dirty, ashamed, embarrassed about that part of herself? Nothing would persuade her to deny that part of herself, not Hitotsugi, not society, not the world. She was who she was and nothing could change that fact. If others couldn't accept this, then that was their problem. Mitsuko was wise beyond her years, but ultimately would suffer because of it.
"I may have stopped him this time," Haruka muttered, "but what happens when you see him again? He's bound to be mad, bound to be livid…what happens when you cross paths again?"
Mitsuko sighed, "I don't know. I'm sure that he'll be out for quite a while, thanks to you."
"But he'll be back, eventually he'll be back. The question is, will he be too scared to approach you, or will he be so angry that he'll want revenge?"
"I honestly don't know," she replied, "But either way, what can be done about it?"
"I'll be there for you," Haruka declared, "He can't try anything on school property, but after school, I'll be there. I'll kill him if he tries anything, Sora-san, I seriously will. I'll protect you."
{I'll be there for you}
Such a strong statement, such a big promise, but Haruka intended on keeping her word. She'd stay by Mitsuko; she'd fight any asshole that threatened her.
"She'll be there for me," Mitsuko smiled at the thought. "She'll protect me…" such selfless words.
"I couldn't ask you to do that, Tenou-san. I couldn't ask you to risk your life…"
"But you didn't ask," Haruka replied and winked, "I'm the one who suggested it. So I guess its OK, right?"
She couldn't help but laugh, "I couldn't stop you if I tried, could I?"
"Nothing stops me once I've set my mind on something," declared Haruka, "So I guess you're stuck with me."
It was at this precise moment that both knew there was no going back; they were in this together.
"We're connected for life, Tenou-san. By saving my life you have established an unbreakable bond between us."
How could you respond to a statement like that?
The tea was cold and incredibly strong; Haruka had failed to remove the teabag. However, this hardly mattered, as she was unable to taste it anyways.
Mitsuko unwrapped the straw and dropped it into her strawberry milkshake, wondering vaguely why it wasn't chocolate. As if it mattered.
"Sora-san,"
Mitsuko looked at the girl across from her and felt that unmistakable twinge of desire. How sad that in this world her attraction for this girl was seen as wrong, as dirty. If only things were different she would tell her how she felt. If only things were different she would take that girl in her arms and hold her close, lay her head against her breasts and listen to the steady rhythm of her heart. If only things were different…
"Everyone calls me 'Sora-san'. You're not just anyone, though. Can't we drop the formalities?"
The sentence 'everyone calls me Sora-san'…what was the meaning behind it? Why did Haruka have the feeling that it was in someway important?
"I'd love it if you called me 'Mitsuko'…"
"Mitsuko," she echoed, loving the sensation of calling her by her given name, "Mitsuko, you can call me 'Haruka', if you want."
She grinned. "Ok, Haruka. Haruka. My, that sounds much better! Considering the fact that you saved my life, I'd think dropping the formalities is appropriate."
The simple ability to call each other by their given names was a novelty to both; neither had ever had a close enough friend to use this degree of familiarity before. To be able to call each other 'Haruka' or 'Mitsuko' was evidence that they were indeed friends.
By the time Haruka had to leave for karate, both had opened up a great deal to each other. Both were able to be honest with each other, both were able to just be themselves. An incredible sensation for both: to be accepted for yourself and to be able to speak your mind without fear of the other's backlash.
However, neither mentioned the way they felt towards the other. Both were wary of putting their friendship in jeopardy. There was too much at stake, the risks were too great. Still, their feelings remained a constant for both; neither could dismiss the way they felt towards the other. As time went on, these feelings only deepened, until denying them became impossible.
*****
The change in her demeanour was sudden and unexpected. What was the reason for the lightness of her step, the brightness of her eyes, the ever-constant smile on her face? Where was her ever-present anger, her 'fuck off' attitude?
Something had happened.
Kumada watched her breeze through the door, long hair trailing behind her and a soft smile on her face. She stepped into the change-room and emerged clad in her faded blue uniform, her hair tied in a tight braid and stuffed into a cap that advertised 'Kumada Motors'. Heading towards the gold Honda racer, swinging a wrench in her hand, Kumada could have sworn he heard her singing.
Just what had happened to his prodigy?
Underneath the car she went; Kumada turned his gaze over to the Mercedes he and two of his mechanics were working on. This was a real beauty, a silver Mercedes SL600 Roadster. The guy that owned it wanted a custom design on it; Kumada was looking forward to transforming this baby into a showpiece.
However, Kumada found himself unable to concentrate on the Mercedes as he found his mind wandering towards Tenou.
Just what was up with her, anyways? Tenou was like a whirlwind; she coursed through life at breakneck speed and totally exhausted all that tried to keep up with her. No one could catch her; by foot or by car, Tenou Haruka was unsurpassable.
There was just no understanding that girl, he thought, but that didn't keep him from trying.
"Hey, Kumada-san, are you listening?"
"Huh?" he replied and saw that both his mechanics, Urawa and Sumoto, were grinning.
"What's hotter than a bitch in heat?" asked his number one mechanic, Urawa.
Kumada shrugged, "Dunno. What?"
He snickered, "Her twat!"
Both of his mechanics then started laughing idiotically, practically supporting each other, as they were laughing too hard to stand on their own.
"Oh, real mature, guys," Kumada smirked, shaking his head. "Where'd you hear that one?"
"He read it off the bathroom wall," Sumoto giggled, then started to hiccup.
Kumada glanced over in Tenou's direction, hoping that she hadn't witnessed this pathetic scene. He didn't like the idea of her being exposed to such crude humour; after all, she was a girl and only thirteen to boot. He looked out for her, and gave hell to anyone who bothered her. Although Tenou didn't seem to need his intervention: after seeing how capable she was around cars, most of the racers and mechanics grudgingly gave her respect. The regulars just accepted her as one of the gang; while that was good in most ways it resulted in her being subjected to their crude humour. Even though she didn't seem to mind the guys' filthy jokes, Kumada still felt responsible for her.
Thankfully she was completely absorbed in changing the Honda's oil. She probably hadn't heard.
"Haven't I told you two fucks to keep your filthy mouths shut around the kid?" He threatened.
Urawa grinned, "Aw, common, Kumada-san! You don't mind, do you, Tenou?"
From beneath the car came her muffled reply, "It wouldn't bother me half as much if your jokes were actually funny."
"Shit!" gasped Urawa, "You didn't think that was funny? I almost pissed myself when I heard that one,"
"Considering you were on the toilet at the time, that hardly surprises me."
Kumada sighed; it hardly seemed necessary to protect her from these guys. However, he wasn't about to let these guys get away with it…
"Well, maybe Tenou isn't bothered by you two," Kumada lectured, "but here at Kumada Motors we have a certain code of ethics that must be followed."
"Jesus, listen to him," laughed Sumoto, "He sounds like that fat chick from the bureau of 'Safe Workplace Environments', doesn't he, Urawa?"
"Like the fuckin' Pope himself," Urawa replied.
Kumada rolled his eyes. "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I don't feel like being fucking sued by that 'fat chick', myself. Just what do you think would happen if some old lady walked in and heard you two going on about 'hot twats'?"
"Dunno," said Sumoto, "Probably pass a kidney stone right on the fuckin' floor."
They both proceeded to laugh like the couple of retards they were.
"What would an old lady be doing here, anyways?" snickered Urawa, "Getting a body job on her fuckin' Buick?"
Kumada hated to admit that they were right; Kumada Motors was a racetrack, and their specialty did happen to be custom work on racecars… but damnit, you never knew!
"Nevertheless its up to us to promote a stable and friendly work environment…"he trailed off, conscious that he really did sound like that fat chick.
"Then you'd better pitch those old magazines in your office," interrupted Sumoto, "Wouldn't want to offend any chicks that come by."
Kumada was aware that he was blushing; he felt like smashing his fist through Sumoto's face. It was true, he did have a few old pornos in his office, but damnit, did that stupid shit have to bring it up? In front of Tenou?
Luckily Tenou had left the auto-body shop. Kumada sighed in relief; he didn't want her to know about his rather dirty pastimes.
"Just shut the fuck up Sumoto, if you know what's good for you." He threatened, however neither was impressed as they both continued to laugh like a couple of pansies.
"Hey, Kumada-san?" asked Urawa, "You're about as tied up as a whore's phone line, man. Just what's got your panties in a knot?"
"Yeah, man!" contributed Sumoto, "You're as uptight as a bitch going through her monthlies! What's up?"
However deranged their way of speaking may be, those two fucks got it right on. His panties were tied in a knot, so to speak. But it didn't give them the right to mock him.
"Nothing, and if I were you, I'd shut the fuck up, you rat's assholes!" He snarled, grabbing the filthy towel off the table and wiping the sweat from his brow. Even though it wasn't quite spring yet, the auto-body shop could get as hot as a Dutch oven.
"You wish you were us!" Urawa grinned, displaying a set of teeth badly in need of orthodontic work. "Two red-hot stallions with the female population at their feet." He ran his oily hand through the long, shaggy strands of his mullet.
"Like hell," Kumada mumbled, but couldn't help but laugh. Those two were just priceless.
"So what's bothering you, man?" asked Sumoto, "Some chick won't let you sample her merchandise?"
Kumada shook his head in disbelief. "Is that all you guys think about? Jesus H. Christ, one of these days I really am going to get my ass sued by some organisation or other."
"Let's not go there again," moaned Urawa. "If you want to keep your trap shut, then I respect that. Jeez, you're as touchy as a bitch in heat."
"Hey, that reminds me…"Sumoto trailed off as they both burst into laughter, probably recalling the stupid joke that started this whole argument.
With a furious glare in their direction, Kumada turned his back and left the shop. He heard them snickering in the distance, but didn't bother returning. He didn't have time for those two and their antics. Not when he had more pressing issues on his mind
The question burned through his thoughts, "what's up with Tenou?"
He found her hanging up the tools in the supply room. Her back was to him; she seemed oblivious to his presence.
Looking at her, Kumada was struck by just how much she'd grown the past few months. The pant legs of her uniform ended several inches above her ankles, revealing several inches of creamy white skin. Her hair was spilling from her cap; it reached past her slim waist. Through the baggy fabric, the outlines of her budding figure were visible. She started to turn around, and he caught sight of how her breasts filled out the shirt of her uniform; Kumada was aware that he was staring at her.
He quickly backed out from the room lest she catch him watching. Unable to face her, he was conscious of how red his face was.
Something had defiantly happened to her. He recalled the way she had greeted him earlier that afternoon, the smile on her face buoyant. Usually she arrived pissed from some debate with either a teacher or another student; usually she looked as if she would break the jaw of anyone who dared to look at her cross-eyed. Tenou usually wasn't…happy.
The thought struck him that for the first time in ages Tenou was actually happy. Amazing, at times he felt her incapable of happiness. Sure, when she was on the bike she seemed free, but that wasn't the same thing. Escape wasn't happiness; it was more akin to relief. The question was what caused this sudden shift in her personality.
Standing behind the door, Kumada saw her leave the supply-room and head for the change room. Within minutes she emerged in jeans and a sweatshirt, her hair in a loose ponytail. Watching from the window, Kumada saw her step outside. Waiting for her was the frail figure of a young woman; they linked arms and left together.
"What'cha doing, Kumada-san?" The voice of Urawa interrupted his thoughts; Kumada banged his fist against the wall in frustration.
"What do you think I'm doing?" he barked, "I'm just having a fucking cigarette," he pulled a package of Camels from his breast pocket and expertly lit it with an engraved lighter.
"Can I bum one off you?" Urawa asked; Kumada offered his pack grudgingly. He lit the cigarette with a match and then proceeded to throw it out the open door.
Puffing on his cigarette, Kumada was aware of the strange way Urawa was looking at him. With interest, but with distrust as well. Despite the fact that Urawa hadn't passed his high school entrance exams, that stupid fuck was pretty damned observant.
Pretty damned observant…maybe he knew what was going on with Tenou? It wouldn't hurt to try…
"Say, Urawa," he began, "Notice anything strange about the kid lately?"
Urawa suddenly looked at him with suspicion. His dark eyes narrowed and he sucked in a deep breath of smoke. His words were edged with warning. "What do you mean?"
Kumada shrugged. "Dunno, she just seems…different, somehow. Usually she's kind of, you know, pissed at the world…but lately she seems…almost happy."
Urawa's eyebrow twitched, "Is that so unusual?"
Kumada shrugged again. "For her it is. I'm just wondering if you noticed anything, that's all. Not that it's important or anything, just curious."
"Just curious, huh?" he smirked, "as long as it doesn't go beyond curiosity." A warning, Urawa was warning him…but what about? What was that dirty little fuck warning him about?
"Just because your mind lives in the gutter doesn't mean mine does." Kumada snapped, his eyes glowing red with anger. "Remember your place, Urawa."
Urawa flinched, then lowered his eyes. "Sorry, Boss, I…"
"Just forget it," he muttered, rubbing his temples in exasperation. He had dared to suggest…
"Now that you mention it, Kumada-san, I have noticed something different about the kid," he supplied, eager to make up with his boss. Sometimes he crossed the line, and he lived in fear of going too far and losing his job. "There's no way he's like that," he consoled himself, "They're just buddies. To think a thing like that…"
"What?" demanded Kumada, forgetting to seem disinterested.
"She does seem happier, but there's a simple enough explanation for it." He said.
"And that would be…" Kumada pressured.
"Well, isn't it obvious?" he grinned, "The kid's fallen in love! Jeez, hard to miss something like that…"
"…Fallen in love…"Urawa's words echoed throughout Kumada's head. "Fallen in love…"
The girl who was waiting outside, the way they linked arms…
"Oh my God," he whispered, the meaning becoming clear. In love, Tenou's fallen in love…
*****
{Hope everyone liked this next instalment. The comments from Chapter 10 are greatly appreciated! Don't be afraid to tell me what you think of this chapter as I take into consideration all suggestions. Feel free to comment on Mitsuko, Hoshino, Kumada, Kotano and those two stupid fucks (more ideas for stupid/dirty jokes!) Please R&R!
BTW anything written from Kumada's/two stupid fucks' point of view are their views, not mine!}
See you in chapter 12 (hopefully!)
-Brandt