Raven: Aaaand this is the first chapter of LXG: The Band! I hope you enjoy yourselves, and, well, know that we don't own LXG or anything, yeah? No use getting sued; I'm broke already...
(insert your note here)
From MMN, the most comprehensive music news channel in the world
Scene: The camera wobbles in front of a warehouse. Snow is all around it. If you've seen League of Extraordinary Gentlemen you may recognise it as "M's summer retreat". The camera focuses and a flustered looking red haired girl holding a microphone steps onscreen. The girl clears her throat and looks at the camera.
Tatsu: "Ahem. Hello fellow music enthusiasts, and welcome to the Music Report. As all of you who haven't been living under a prehistoric rock for the last month will know, next Saturday is a very exciting night in music. Why you rock dwellers may ask? Because at exactly this time next week the rounds will start in the contest known only as "Battle of the Bands". Think this is just some ordinary contest? Think again. The world's four bestselling bands, World Domination, LXG, The Vampire Lestat and Random Band Who're Destined To Lose, will compete until one band is left. Music lovers will know that this competition is likely to be the explosion of the heated feud between World Domination and LXG. Both bands have spent the last fortnight constantly warring for the number one chart position. It seems that this upcoming competition may be the deciding factor in the contest which will effect the world music scene. So tune in to MMN, More Music News, this time next week for the first round, World Domination versus RBWDTL!"
Tatsu drops the overly cheerful act and slouches slightly.
"So was my hair okay? I'm having a frizz day, I mean honestly, you'd think the hairdr-"
Director: "CUT!!"
camera fades out
From MMNM, the best music news magazine this side of Mongolia
The Battle of the Bands is back!
This year, we journos at MMNM,
More Music News Mag, will be getting exclusive
live news coverage! Yep, folks,
you'll be getting what no other magazine is able to get.
Bands in the running this year are World Domination, LXG, The Vampire Lestat and Random Band Who're Destined To Lose, all bestsellers. All four will compete until one band is left — and here's some juicy info: World Domination and LXG have a long-time feud. If you haven't been living under a rock for the past fortnight, at least, then you would know that these two extremely popular bands have been battling for the top chart position for the past two weeks.
Music insiders say that the Battle will be a major, if not deciding, factor in the world music scene.
All of this week and next we'll be covering the battle between World Domination and RBWTDTL, so keep a watch on this column!
- Raven SilversÂ