Chapter 6: Happy?
"What the hell did he do to you?"
He started, spilling the coffee over his hands. Although the liquid itself was cold, it burned the way it always had. He recovered himself quickly, and faced her.
"What?"
"That little scene outside his room?"
"That was nothing,"
He tried to dismiss, walking over to the coffee machine for a refill.
"Coffee?"
He asked idly, hoping to derail her train of thought. For a moment, he thought he'd succeeded. But she soon gathered herself, and with a curt shake of her head, she rounded on him again.
"Ordinarily, I wouldn't care. But he's my patient, and if there's something I should know…"
Clever, Abby, very clever, make this professional. Make it official. He formulated his answer carefully, controlling exactly how much she knew and when.
"Andy destroyed my childhood, Abby, that's what this is about,"
"Destroyed? How?"
She faltered at his bluntness, the frankness of his tone. Her stance softened, her shoulders rounded and her hands fell to her sides.
"My mother was an alcoholic, and just short of my 13th birthday, Andy became our legal guardian."
He paused, breath caught at the thought of his mother, pitiful creature as he remembered her being. He couldn't hate her, but could never begin to forgive her.
"Andy is a bully, Abby, an alpha male. Power went straight to his head,"
It was clear as the day it happened, the first time Andy had raised his fists, the day it all changed. He didn't remember why it had happened, but the bruises were as vivid as they had been, the feeling of being completely helpless to another's will still had the crystal clarity. He watched as the realization dawned on his fiery, petite colleague, as horror filled her eyes to overflowing.
"He hit you?"
Her voice was small, questioning, as if the very idea was somehow unfathomable to her.
"He took everything we had, Erica and I, every inch of dignity and self-respect. It wasn't the physical side I couldn't bear,"
It was not having a way out. It was the shame of being weak. It was listening to his sister crying herself to sleep and being too number to do a thing for her. He paused a second and took in the expression in her eyes. It was a reflection of what he expected lay in his own – a hybrid of disgust and confusion.
"No,"
She tried to sympathise, but found words failed her.
"I tried to protect her and got shot down in flames, so I saved myself,"
And still that shamed him. Abby was rendered speechless by his controlled revelation.
"So there. Now you know. My sordid past, my life laid bare. Happy?"
The sarcastic question was unnecessary, he knew as soon as he said it. The nurse flared momentarily, irritated perhaps by his defensive nature, but calmed almost instantly.
"Well, it certainly explains a lot,"
Other sentences seemed futile, so instead she left the conversation only half-finished and feeling strangely empty. She walked back, with purpose, towards Andy's room. Her purpose though was muddled, mixed in her with a form of indignant rage – both for her colleague and at herself for letting these 3 hours become such a disaster.
"What the hell did he do to you?"
He started, spilling the coffee over his hands. Although the liquid itself was cold, it burned the way it always had. He recovered himself quickly, and faced her.
"What?"
"That little scene outside his room?"
"That was nothing,"
He tried to dismiss, walking over to the coffee machine for a refill.
"Coffee?"
He asked idly, hoping to derail her train of thought. For a moment, he thought he'd succeeded. But she soon gathered herself, and with a curt shake of her head, she rounded on him again.
"Ordinarily, I wouldn't care. But he's my patient, and if there's something I should know…"
Clever, Abby, very clever, make this professional. Make it official. He formulated his answer carefully, controlling exactly how much she knew and when.
"Andy destroyed my childhood, Abby, that's what this is about,"
"Destroyed? How?"
She faltered at his bluntness, the frankness of his tone. Her stance softened, her shoulders rounded and her hands fell to her sides.
"My mother was an alcoholic, and just short of my 13th birthday, Andy became our legal guardian."
He paused, breath caught at the thought of his mother, pitiful creature as he remembered her being. He couldn't hate her, but could never begin to forgive her.
"Andy is a bully, Abby, an alpha male. Power went straight to his head,"
It was clear as the day it happened, the first time Andy had raised his fists, the day it all changed. He didn't remember why it had happened, but the bruises were as vivid as they had been, the feeling of being completely helpless to another's will still had the crystal clarity. He watched as the realization dawned on his fiery, petite colleague, as horror filled her eyes to overflowing.
"He hit you?"
Her voice was small, questioning, as if the very idea was somehow unfathomable to her.
"He took everything we had, Erica and I, every inch of dignity and self-respect. It wasn't the physical side I couldn't bear,"
It was not having a way out. It was the shame of being weak. It was listening to his sister crying herself to sleep and being too number to do a thing for her. He paused a second and took in the expression in her eyes. It was a reflection of what he expected lay in his own – a hybrid of disgust and confusion.
"No,"
She tried to sympathise, but found words failed her.
"I tried to protect her and got shot down in flames, so I saved myself,"
And still that shamed him. Abby was rendered speechless by his controlled revelation.
"So there. Now you know. My sordid past, my life laid bare. Happy?"
The sarcastic question was unnecessary, he knew as soon as he said it. The nurse flared momentarily, irritated perhaps by his defensive nature, but calmed almost instantly.
"Well, it certainly explains a lot,"
Other sentences seemed futile, so instead she left the conversation only half-finished and feeling strangely empty. She walked back, with purpose, towards Andy's room. Her purpose though was muddled, mixed in her with a form of indignant rage – both for her colleague and at herself for letting these 3 hours become such a disaster.