Dribbles and Long Randomness
By
Scoutfan22
Disclaimer: Don't own Buffy, never have, and never will. I do own Nat, a vampire with a soul of my own creation, who can be in the sun without burning to a crisp.
Summary: Look at the title. Pretty much sums it up. They're not about a specific character and in any specific order. They're not properly formatted, some of them, but hey, who cares?
Feedback: Eruiellaol.com
Pairing: Varies from section to section
Rating: Same as pairings
Note: = end
Doesn't Know
She doesn't know how much I long for her in the night. I want to feel her lips on mine and the gentle brush of her hands as she strokes my face. There are sometimes when I don't know if I can take it. Like when she sits across from me when we study in her dorm. She sits there, brow furrowed in concentration as her red hair hangs over her shoulders, and I almost feel like lunging across the bed and pinning her down with my lips, then tearing off her clothes and making love to her right there in her chair. She'll never know though. Willow will never know how much I love her….
"Tara? You ok?"
In The Still Of The Night
"In the still of the night…."
That's song's been playing in my bloody mind all night and I finally hear it playing on a car radio. It's two teenagers, and they're making out in their car. I've been watching them for two hours now, and they're still at it. Got stamina, they do. And why is that song in my head? Because oftentimes I'm here 'in the still of the night' alone. Well, not anymore. Who would've thought I'd be bedding a slayer? I didn't. I hear someone behind me and I turn. I grin as I see Buffy standing there. "Spike, I--" "Say no more, luv," and in two minutes we're at it again, like we have been for a while now, it seems.
"In the still of the night" the song finishes.
What still?
Normal
The sound of an electric-sounding song echoes through the bronze:
This is the sound
Of the revolution
This is the sound
Of the revolution…
Over in a corner sitting on a couch and some chairs is a group of young people. To anyone else, to you, in this case, they look like a bunch of friends hanging out. And, in retrospect, they are. Except for one.. Well, maybe a few things.
First, let's observe the couple on the couch: a young man with brown hair and eyes, and a fake-looking blonde woman. Normal, right? Yeah, if you consider that the girl was a demon for, oh, what, 1000 years normal. Oh, and the boy? Talk about a demon magnet with no special powers what so ever.
Now, let's look at the other couple. They, on the other hand, are both girls. Now that's pretty normal. Well, except that they're lesbians.. But, hey, that's off the subject. Anyway, a normal-looking lesbian couple, right? Wrong. The redhead with green eyes dated a werewolf and a demon-robot before the girl. The blonde (real hair ) grew up thinking that she was a demon her whole life and it took a punch from a bleach-blonde vampire to prove her wrong. They both also have more magical power than a lot of witches. The redhead especially, she can raise the dead.
Shall we take a look at the girl sitting on a chair by them all? Blonde hair, hazel eyes, small and petite form. Normal. Once again, your powers of deduction suck. This girl has been dumped three times, has lost her mom, survived high school but dropped out of college and has killed more vampires than you can tick off on your fingers and toes. Oh, by the way, she's the Slayer, who kills vampires. She's also died twice, been raised from the dead (by that redhead we mentioned earlier) and saved the world three times. And, she's sleeping with a vampire that has a behavior modification chip, but it doesn't work on her.
So, once again, all that aside, they all look pretty normal, right? Looks can be deceiving.
Simple
Grrr… shut the hell up! I'm tired of hearing "Willow's doing better" this and "Willow's getting better" that. Would you all just get the hint? We broke up. BROKE UP, DAMMIT! She used magic on me, and I left her. It's as simple as that.
I wish it were. It's not. I'm reminded of when I first fell in love with Willow. I wanted her so much, so badly that it made my heart ache. Now that feeling's combined with guilt. I keep asking myself, "What if I'd known sooner?" and "Could I have stopped her?"
I'm so tired of "What if…" I'm so tired of all of it.
I'll Never Tell
I'll never tell….
Tell what?
There's nothing to tell.
I'm getting married to Xander Harris and I'll never tell.
I'll never tell I love him so much.
I'll never tell We're getting married.
I'll never tell We'll be together forever.
I'll never tell--
Shut up conscience!
Thank you.
I'll never tell.
Drusilla's lullaby
Daddy in the darkness Spiky in the light Grandmother in the nighttime Slayer likes to fight. Witches in the hay Boy in the cellar holding Demon-girl tight. Green One in the bedroom Watcher in the chair dollies with their eyes out for Dru to come and play!
The Talk
Dawn moved her cereal around with her spoon and sighed. She looked up and watched as Willow, Tara and Buffy discussed the newspaper headline. Obviously there was a new vamp nest in town and a group of teens stumbled upon it in the night. Of course, the newspaper said the cause of death was "neck trauma" but the Scooby gang knew better.
However, vampires weren't on Dawn's mind this morning. She was finally going to ask "The Question".
She pushed her bowl away from her and drew in a deep breath. Here goes.
"Guys, can we talk about sex?"
All three of the women whirled around. Willow's mouth dropped open while Tara blushed bright red and Buffy's eyes widened.
"Um, Dawn, what did you say you wanted to talk about?" Buffy croaked out.
Suddenly Dawn felt 2 inches tall as she said, "Sex." She wanted to crawl under a rock and stay there until she was 21.
Willow finally closed her mouth, and asked, "What about sex, Dawn?"
"Um, who you do it with, how old you should be, how to use a condom. You know, basics." Dawn replied sort of confidently, still wanting to melt in her chair.
Tara cleared her throat and turned a lighter shade of red, "W-well, u-um, I-I'm n-n-not much h-help in the u-uh, c-condom area…." she trailed off and her face turned even darker red.
Buffy looked back and forth between the two wiccas, "Well, Dawn, um… Mom told me I couldn't have sex until I was in college."
"But, you had sex with Angel when you were 17," Dawn pointed out, "And Mom didn't mind."
"Well, actually, she did. She gave me this long talk about birth control and condoms. It…wasn't one of the more prouder moments in my life." Buffy admitted sheepishly.
"My mom said I had to wait until I was married." Willow added finally.
"But you had sex with Oz the night before graduation." Buffy replied.
"Uh, yeah," Willow mumbled, "But at least my mom didn't find out."
Dawn decided to change the subject, "Forget about the whole condom question. I mean, the pill is better, right?"
"Well, to be honest with you, I take the pill. But I would definitely suggest a condom." Buffy admitted.
"When can I have sex?"
"Not until you're 21."
"W-when you're ready."
"When you're married."
Dawn looked confused at Tara's comment, "What do you mean, 'when I'm ready', Tara?"
"W-well, my mom always said, a-and I believe this too," Tara said calmly, "that you wait until you're ready. This is gonna sound kind of corny, but I waited until I was… well, until I met Willow."
Willow grinned as Tara continued, "I-I waited for the right person and the right moment, when I felt that we were both ready."
"If you're gonna be- I guess 'sexually active' is the term- you talk about it with your partner. I mean, when Tara and I first started dating, we talked about if we were gonna… have sex. And we both waited until we were." Willow said.
"Buffy didn't, did you?"
Buffy replied quickly, "Don't follow my example."
Dawn smiled. This was going better than she thought it would. "So, um, what else?"
Pictures
(Takes place after the episode "The Killer In Me")
Buffy came in the door to the kitchen, "Hello? Anybody home?"
"Yeah, in here."
"Nat? Where's here?"
"Willow's room." Nat called.
Buffy went up the stairs and into the room. She found Nat trying to move the bed. "What're you doing?"
He looked up, "Oh, Willow asked me to move it into another corner and then move everything else into a different place. She called it something Chinese sounding…. What was it? Oh yeah, "fung-shoo" or something like that."
Buffy giggled, "It's called feng-shui, Nat. By the way, where is she?"
"She and Kennedy went out. Giles called, the girls and him were leaving and are about 10 miles out of town. Xander and Anya went to the store and Dawn and Andrew went with them. It's just me right now."
Buffy sat on Willow's desk, dangling her legs, "Well, Willow and Kennedy are certainly getting along. Do we know why she turned into Warren?"
"It was a mix of Amy and Willow herself. See, Amy cursed Willow that the instant she forgot Tara, she'd…"
Nat trailed off and looked out the window.
Buffy finished, "That she'd choose the punishment on her own? So obviously she turned into Warren because she felt guilty about killing him…. That still doesn't make a lot of sense."
"It was because of Tara that she killed him, remember?"
"Oh yeah. Well, now it makes sense. Sort of."
The two of them were quiet now. Nat walked over and lifted up a box. He lifted it from the wrong end and everything came spilling out. Buffy jumped up and kneeled on the floor starting to pick things up as Nat kneeled beside her.
Buffy picked up a photo album. Willow's familiar cursive was scrawled across the front, "Family".
Hey, I wonder what's in here? She opened it and gave a little gasp.
It was pictures of them…. Of all of them!
"Hey Nat, look at this. Pictures!"
"Oh yeah. Hey, remember that one?"
"Ha ha, Xander didn't even see Willow with the camera. Look at his face."
"Candid camera."
"Yep. Ooh, Tara's 20th birthday party."
"That was fun. Especially the part were we fought invisible demons."
"You can't really blame Tara, Nat. She wasn't sure how we'd react."
"I still think that she should've just told us."
Buffy turned a few more pages. She saw another one on the floor and picked it up. This one had "Tara" on the cover of it. She opened it and smiled.
It was all just pictures of Tara: reading, sleeping, in the kitchen, in the Magic Box, at the beach, with Dawn, with Buffy, Xander and Anya, Giles, and Nat. There was even one with her and Spike.
"Hey Nat, where'd this one come from?"
"That one? That was taken while you were… Anyway, it was Dawn's sixteenth birthday, and we all went out to eat at that Italian restaurant by the highway." He replied as he looked over her shoulder.
Buffy grinned again and turned the page. More pictures of Tara, including one of her in a lilac dress that fitted her form perfectly. The caption read: "Tara at the cotillion." That was their sophomore year of college. The picture was surrounded by little hearts and Willow's drawing of a heart that said "W T = Luv".
Buffy smiled and wiped away a tear as she closed the book. She turned to Nat, "Tell you what; how about I help you pick this stuff up and move the furniture, then we can go downstairs and enjoy the peace and quiet for as long as possible?"
Different Kinds Of Music
Buffy sighed and sat down. She opened her CD book and looked through it, trying to find a of music that could help her feel not so tired. Slinging burgers day after day wasn't the ideal job; that was for sure. Ah, here we go. She took out the CD with the familiar title on it. She put it into her CD player and hit play. The chords of the first song sounded out like an old friend saying hello, and Buffy began to sing along with it:
"It's been
One week since you looked at me
Dropped your eyes and said you were sorry
Three days in the living room…."
Tara dropped her books on the table and sighed. She walked into her living room and took off her jacket, throwing it on the couch. She flopped onto her big armchair, kicking off her boots as she picked up the remote to turn on the radio. She'd seen Willow run off after she said hi to Alison, and was positive that she thought her and the girl were more than just friends. Tara sighed as she thought, Well, there goes my brilliant plan to ask Will out. She switched on the radio and her ears perked up as a song played. Her heart felt like it had turned to stone and dropped to her toes. It was she and Willow's song. It brought back so many memories. They'd dubbed it their song the night they made love the first time. Tara had turned on the radio, and the song had come on. Both of them took it as a sign, and so they had their song. Tears fell down Tara's face as she couldn't help but sing softly:
"Lift me up
In you eyes
If you told me that is where heaven is
Well you'd be right
I've been waiting forever for this
This is tonight…."
Dawn slipped on her headphones and hit track 2. The song started, and Dawn began to sing. She'd become attached to this group not too long after her mom died, and when Buffy died it helped her to grieve. Granted it wasn't one of the happiest songs in the world, but she still liked it anyway:
"Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark…"
"Here Xander, I found our wedding song!" Anya called happily. Xander came in from the shower, toweling his hair, "Honey, I thought we'd picked one already." Anya didn't pay any attention as she put the CD into their stereo. The song began to play and she began singing to it:
"And when I think about you
I touch myself
Oh oh oh…"
As Willow walked home that evening, she passed by the park and her eyes caught the bridge over the pond. Her eyes filled with tears as she closed them and could see her Tara singing to her. They were so much in love, everything was going great, and then she had to go and screw it all up. Real loving, she was. So loving that she put spells on her only love to make her forget things. Her mind played the words in her head, and she couldn't help but sing them softly:
"I'm under your spell
How else could it be
Anyone would notice me
It's magic I can tell
How you set me free
Brought me out so easily…."
Anime Anecdotes
(Takes place before "Chosen" but after "End of Days")
Andrew sighed and flopped onto the couch. Xander followed him into the living room and sat in the armchair.
He wanted to turn on the TV, do something to forget the feeling of dread in his stomach. He couldn't, though. The familiar sounds of the girls training outside comforted him. That was something that at least made sense in the crazy world right at the moment.
He checked his watch. Ooh, six o'clock. Toonami was on, and the new episodes of Yu-Yu Hakusho were starting today.
"Whoa whoa whoa Keiko, get the hell away from there, that's my body!" Andrew whispered to himself.
Xander looked up, "Huh? Andrew, you say something?"
"No, just quoting Yusuke. The new episodes started today."
"They did?" Xander asked. "Uh huh, the ones with the ice maiden that Kuwubara falls in love with." Andrew replied.
"Oh yeah, and she doesn't have a clue? That's really funny. I've seen em' on Adult Swim, although they never got that far."
"You know, Dragonball GT started last week on Fridays."
"It did? I've been waiting for that one ever since the videos came out."
"The uncut?"
"Nah, the dub. Dawn bought me one for my birthday."
"You know which one I wish was still on? Sailor Moon. Stars, especially."
"Yeah, with the Sailor Starlights?"
"Uh huh."
"That would be cool. You know, I've been taping Big O, if you wanna watch em' sometime."
"Thanks, but that one doesn't make that much sense to me. Now Inuyasha I wouldn't mind watching."
"I know. Sit boy!"
"Yeah. Hey, what do you think of Sango? I kinda think she's hot myself."
"I thought you were…."
"Hey, Willow is gay and she thinks Ashton Kutcher is hot."
"If you gotta know, I think Kagome is hotter."
At that moment Dawn came into the living room, "Dinner's ready if you want it before the Potentials get it."
The two stood up and stretched then went into the kitchen to get some food.
Dancing In The Moonlight
(Takes place after "Family")
Tara stirred when she heard a tapping noise on her window. She got up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes, wondering who could be there at 3 o'clock in the morning.
When she got to her window, she smiled. It was Willow, and she motioned for Tara to open the window, which she did.
"W-what're you d-doing out h-here at three in the m-morning? Don't you sleep?" Tara asked.
Willow grinned, "I can't sleep without you. Besides, I didn't give you the rest of your present. Put on your jacket and come down here, please?"
Tara did as Willow asked, and in a few minutes she was standing next to her girlfriend on the lawn of her dorm building.
Willow smiled, and Tara saw a portable CD player. As she looked questioningly at the redhead, she leaned down and pressed play. Clay Aiken began singing softly, and Willow asked with an extravagant bow and an attempt at an English accent, "May I have this dance, my lady?"
"I would be honored." Tara replied. Willow held out her hand and the blonde took it, putting her head on her lover's shoulder as they danced slowly. She sighed and a tear trickled down her cheek. Her heart fluttered when she heard Willow singing along with the music in her ear:
"Would he walk on water
Would he run through fire
Would he stand before you
When it's down to the wire
Would he give his life up
To be all he can
Is that
Is that
How you measure a man?"
Even though words spoke about a man, Tara knew that Willow meant every word. That she would always be there for her, no matter what, no matter when or where, through it all. She lifted her head up to gaze into green eyes, and as the song continued, she gently pressed Willow's lips to hers.
Tara's Funeral
(From Xander's POV)
I wake up when my alarm goes off. I lay there after turning it off for a few minutes, knowing what today is.
Tara's funeral.
It seems I've been to too many of those.
First my grandma's. I don't really remember that one; I was five. Miss Calendar's, I remember that one. That's one of the few times I've seen Giles cry. Joyce's; that one made me cry. And Buffy's. Oh boy, I thought I'd never get through that alive.
Now I have to stand and watch as another one of my best friends is buried.
Damn.
(At the graveyard)
It's a beautiful day. So sunny and bright. The sky's the same as Tara's eyes. Tara skies, Anya called them.
There aren't very many of us here at first. It's just Buffy Dawn Nat, Anya, and me. Then, my eyes catch someone coming toward us. I realize that it's Riley and his wife Sam. Riley goes up to Buffy and they hug, while Sam touches Dawn's shoulder. Riley sees me and comes over. We shake hands, and he asks where Willow is. I tell him that she's in England with Giles. He knew how hard it would be on her if she were here, so they left as soon as possible.
It's then that I see Cordelia, Wesley, Gunn and Fred. They had met Tara, when we'd all fought on Monster Island. Fred and Tara had become close and wrote to each other a lot. She's on the verge of tears and is leaning on Cordelia for support, while Wesley and Gunn are tight-lipped. I look past them and see a dark figure wearing a hooded jacket. Angel. He must be wearing that Gem of Amara thing. He goes up and stands next to Riley who's with Buffy. The minister arrives, and I frown. It said in her will that Tara wanted a Wiccan ceremony. I shake my head of the thought, and go to stand next to Anya. She looks like she's about to cry as well. I realize in a minute that I'm gonna cry….
"Ashes to Ashes, and Dust to Dust. Amen."
As the minister says this, they lower her coffin into the ground and begin burying it. At that exact moment, Fred bursts into tears and is led away by Gunn, Cordelia and Wesley. Anya puts her head in her hands and begins sobbing, her shoulders shaking. Buffy turns white, her fists are clenched while she bites her lip, and I see a thin trail of blood down her chin. Angel puts his hand on her shoulder, then leaves after his family. Riley and Sam go too, and Sam whispers in Dawn's ear. Dawn goes to Nat, and the two of them stand together. There are red trails down his cheeks, and I know that he's been crying, 'cause some vampires weep blood, and he's one of them. The two of them sink to their knees, still holding on to each other as they cry freely now, Nat's tears staining the shoulder of her blouse.
It's in that moment that I know I'm crying. I'm crying for Willow, for Fred, for Anya, for Buffy, for Nat, for Dawn. And I'm crying for Tara.
This is where I'm stopping for now. I shall write more of these, and it shall be named "Dribbles and Long Randomness II".
04/09/2004 11:34 AM