Chapter 5: Enter Link, who doesn't even belong in this category.
Kurama was lost and had no clue where to go next. He was angry at us for dragging him into this mess. He punched the wall in anger and punched it so hard, he broke his hand. AND, he made a hole in the wall and saw me and Lianna hanging over the lava pit. She sighed in relief, then yelped in pain, then sighed again, then yelped again, and so on and so on.
He peeked his head through the hole. "Are you guys alright?"
"I'm feeling just peachy. As a matter of fact, I quite enjoy hanging over lava upside down for 10 hours with a crazy person. Hm? And I believe you asked me a question." Lianna talks back a lot...
"Ok?"
"Just get us down!"
"But I can't"
"Why not??"
"Because I'm too fat to fit through this hole."
"Then get help."
"I can't."
Lianna twitched. "WHY NOT?!"
"Because I'm lost."
"Then take that mysterious map by your foot and get the hell out of here and get some help."
Kurama looked down at his feet to find a map of the lair. He picked it up and read it. It had smiley faces drawn in crayon. In fact, the whole thing was drawn in crayon. Who did this? I do not know.
It was 10 minutes later when Kurama walked out of the place and started running to find some help. The first person he saw outside was a man in green (Yes...I bet you know who this person is, you're smart.) He ran up to him out of breathe and said," I need your help!"
Link looked up at him; he was with this demon girl by a pay phone. "Sh Sh!" He had the phone in his hand. He looked at the girl. "Who next, Mayumi?" It was obvious they're prank phone calling.
"My boyfriend, tell him we aren't dating anymore in the worst way you can think of." She sounded kind of angry.
Link laughed and Kurama stood there, forgetting his mission and wondering what they were doing, since he's not much of the bad-ass type.
Link picked up the phone and dialed Shesshomaru's number, who was the girl's old boyfriend.
"Hello?" Came a voice from the other line of the phone.
Link snickered, then said in a very manly voice, "Yeah, you and Mayumi are so over, she's with me now (he's joking of course, don't kill me) because she isn't a lesbian. And she said that my penis is bigger than yours, and that's if you fold it in half." He hung up the phone very quickly and laughed with Mayumi.
"Good one!" They gave each other a high five. Mayumi turned to Kurama. "Now what did you want again?"
"I need your help! These two little girl's are about to die and I can't reach them."
Link stood up. "I've saved a whole kingdom from a man who looks like he's gotten a nose job way too many times. I think I can manage two little girls."
"Yeah...but they're really big screw ups."
"So is Zelda. But then again she's better than Peach. I mean, Peach sits around the garden picking mushrooms all day-"
"Can we go now?!" Kurama begged.
Link and Mayumi looked at each other and shrugged. They were soon following Kurama to Ryouko's evil lair.
Meanwhile...
"Lianna, why don't you use your ice powers to freeze the lava so we can get out of here?" I asked.
"Because I'm too lazy."
"Pfft, and they call me lazy. I know, I'll control the lava a bit and you only have to use half of your laziness to freeze the lava pit. Hm? Hm?"
"Sounds good to me...or does it?"
"Oh, it does, it does..."
So, Lianna used her ice powers to freeze the lava while I kept it cooled down. I then bite the rope and we fell onto the ice, safe. Then it broke. We fell in.
"WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Lianna yelled. We swam up back onto the ice.
"Well, would you look at that? It was colored water the whole time." I said, glad it wasn't really lava.
"Well what now?"
And yet again, my brilliant mind had sprung an excellent idea indeed.
"Make a sled out of ice, and I'll use fire as a booster. Good, huh?"
"Where do you come up with these ideas?" Lianna asked. I had a blank look on my face; it was from thinking too much. She sighed and began making the sled, but had to hurry before it melts. "Jump in!" She said before dragging me inside it, it was a crappy sled indeed, just look who made it. In fact, it was the crappiest sled ever.
"Ready?" She asked.
"Ready Freddy."
"My name's Lianna..."
"Stop lying, here we go!" I then made a blast of fire and we sped off really fast into the hallway. Where we went? No one will know until chapter 6. But for now, let's see what's happening with Kurama, Link and Mayumi.
Within a matter of 15 minutes they found where Nikki and Lianna were, but made a quick stop because Link had to stop and piss on a tree.
"Ok." Kurama began. "Go in"
Mayumi peeked in and took her head back out of the hole. "There's no one in there. You're a rapist, aren't you? You brought us to your warehouse you sick perverted bastard!"
"WHAT? No! They were there a second ago, I swear."
"Then I think we ought to be looking for them then."
"No, really?"
The three of them nodded and went down the hallways together, watching out for any traps.
`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~ `~'~`~'~`~'~`
Author's note: This chapter...was the biggest...pain in the ass...I thought about what was going to happen in chapter 5 for 3 flippin days. I'm trying to be as unique as possible, so BLAH.
Link's note: I personally think that this girl made me an idiot in this story.
Mayumi's note: No one ever told Shesshoumaru that this was just a fan fiction. He probably took that prank phone call seriously.
Kurama's note: I really did break my hand; we had to stop the fan fiction until my hand healed. Man...was the cast happy.
Nikki's note: I agree with Link, the director made me and him dumbasses. I mean, I'm a professional actress, I didn't know what my agent was thinking when we started this.
Lianna's note: All I wanted was a beer, was that too hard to ask for?
Kurama was lost and had no clue where to go next. He was angry at us for dragging him into this mess. He punched the wall in anger and punched it so hard, he broke his hand. AND, he made a hole in the wall and saw me and Lianna hanging over the lava pit. She sighed in relief, then yelped in pain, then sighed again, then yelped again, and so on and so on.
He peeked his head through the hole. "Are you guys alright?"
"I'm feeling just peachy. As a matter of fact, I quite enjoy hanging over lava upside down for 10 hours with a crazy person. Hm? And I believe you asked me a question." Lianna talks back a lot...
"Ok?"
"Just get us down!"
"But I can't"
"Why not??"
"Because I'm too fat to fit through this hole."
"Then get help."
"I can't."
Lianna twitched. "WHY NOT?!"
"Because I'm lost."
"Then take that mysterious map by your foot and get the hell out of here and get some help."
Kurama looked down at his feet to find a map of the lair. He picked it up and read it. It had smiley faces drawn in crayon. In fact, the whole thing was drawn in crayon. Who did this? I do not know.
It was 10 minutes later when Kurama walked out of the place and started running to find some help. The first person he saw outside was a man in green (Yes...I bet you know who this person is, you're smart.) He ran up to him out of breathe and said," I need your help!"
Link looked up at him; he was with this demon girl by a pay phone. "Sh Sh!" He had the phone in his hand. He looked at the girl. "Who next, Mayumi?" It was obvious they're prank phone calling.
"My boyfriend, tell him we aren't dating anymore in the worst way you can think of." She sounded kind of angry.
Link laughed and Kurama stood there, forgetting his mission and wondering what they were doing, since he's not much of the bad-ass type.
Link picked up the phone and dialed Shesshomaru's number, who was the girl's old boyfriend.
"Hello?" Came a voice from the other line of the phone.
Link snickered, then said in a very manly voice, "Yeah, you and Mayumi are so over, she's with me now (he's joking of course, don't kill me) because she isn't a lesbian. And she said that my penis is bigger than yours, and that's if you fold it in half." He hung up the phone very quickly and laughed with Mayumi.
"Good one!" They gave each other a high five. Mayumi turned to Kurama. "Now what did you want again?"
"I need your help! These two little girl's are about to die and I can't reach them."
Link stood up. "I've saved a whole kingdom from a man who looks like he's gotten a nose job way too many times. I think I can manage two little girls."
"Yeah...but they're really big screw ups."
"So is Zelda. But then again she's better than Peach. I mean, Peach sits around the garden picking mushrooms all day-"
"Can we go now?!" Kurama begged.
Link and Mayumi looked at each other and shrugged. They were soon following Kurama to Ryouko's evil lair.
Meanwhile...
"Lianna, why don't you use your ice powers to freeze the lava so we can get out of here?" I asked.
"Because I'm too lazy."
"Pfft, and they call me lazy. I know, I'll control the lava a bit and you only have to use half of your laziness to freeze the lava pit. Hm? Hm?"
"Sounds good to me...or does it?"
"Oh, it does, it does..."
So, Lianna used her ice powers to freeze the lava while I kept it cooled down. I then bite the rope and we fell onto the ice, safe. Then it broke. We fell in.
"WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Lianna yelled. We swam up back onto the ice.
"Well, would you look at that? It was colored water the whole time." I said, glad it wasn't really lava.
"Well what now?"
And yet again, my brilliant mind had sprung an excellent idea indeed.
"Make a sled out of ice, and I'll use fire as a booster. Good, huh?"
"Where do you come up with these ideas?" Lianna asked. I had a blank look on my face; it was from thinking too much. She sighed and began making the sled, but had to hurry before it melts. "Jump in!" She said before dragging me inside it, it was a crappy sled indeed, just look who made it. In fact, it was the crappiest sled ever.
"Ready?" She asked.
"Ready Freddy."
"My name's Lianna..."
"Stop lying, here we go!" I then made a blast of fire and we sped off really fast into the hallway. Where we went? No one will know until chapter 6. But for now, let's see what's happening with Kurama, Link and Mayumi.
Within a matter of 15 minutes they found where Nikki and Lianna were, but made a quick stop because Link had to stop and piss on a tree.
"Ok." Kurama began. "Go in"
Mayumi peeked in and took her head back out of the hole. "There's no one in there. You're a rapist, aren't you? You brought us to your warehouse you sick perverted bastard!"
"WHAT? No! They were there a second ago, I swear."
"Then I think we ought to be looking for them then."
"No, really?"
The three of them nodded and went down the hallways together, watching out for any traps.
`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~`~'~ `~'~`~'~`~'~`
Author's note: This chapter...was the biggest...pain in the ass...I thought about what was going to happen in chapter 5 for 3 flippin days. I'm trying to be as unique as possible, so BLAH.
Link's note: I personally think that this girl made me an idiot in this story.
Mayumi's note: No one ever told Shesshoumaru that this was just a fan fiction. He probably took that prank phone call seriously.
Kurama's note: I really did break my hand; we had to stop the fan fiction until my hand healed. Man...was the cast happy.
Nikki's note: I agree with Link, the director made me and him dumbasses. I mean, I'm a professional actress, I didn't know what my agent was thinking when we started this.
Lianna's note: All I wanted was a beer, was that too hard to ask for?