Disclaimer: Still not mine, mom was right, life isn't fair.
Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long to get this out, I had major writer's block, I didn't want it to get too fluffy, and it didn't, so I like it now, after something like 4 revisions. Better late than never. Again, if anyone wants to Beta for me, drop me an email. Reviews are appreciated, good and bad, flames will be used to start bonfires in my back yard.
Enjoy!
Grissom pulled up to Sara's building and parked, he looked over at Sara in the passenger seat, she was still sound asleep. Grissom watched her sleep for a minute, the way the light from the street lamps cast shadows across her face. Sara looked almost peaceful, a look Grissom was sure he hadn't seen on her face in a long time, it was almost a shame to wake her up.
"Sara." Grissom whispered as he touched her shoulder, "We're here."
Sara stirred in the seat and opened her eyes. She definitely was not feeling her best right now. Sara sat up and reoriented herself with her surroundings, her stomach was churning and her head was spinning.
"Thanks for bringing me home Grissom." Sara said as she opened the door and stepped out of the car. Sara was much shakier on her feet than she anticipated; she was noticeably hanging on the car door trying to get herself together.
"Sara, let me help you inside, you can barely stand." Grissom said as he got out of the car and started around to the other side.
"No Grissom, I'm fine." Sara shut the car door and turned to go into the building. Sara missed the step up on to the curb and tripped, she fell face first straight into Grissom's chest.
Grissom caught Sara settling his hands on her sides, "Still don't want me to help you?" Grissom half smiled as he helped Sara stand back up.
Sara pushed back off of Grissom, "No, Grissom, I don't want your help." Sara began to dig through her purse for her keys, as she pulled them out she dropped them.
Grissom bent down to pick up the keys, "Sara, let me take you upstairs, I don't want you to hurt yourself. Please, for my own peace of mind."
Sara rolled her eyes and started up the stairs to her apartment with Grissom in tow, his hand resting on the small of her back. When the two reached the door Sara began to dig for her keys again, Grissom smiled as he watched her; he let her look for a minute and then dangled her keys from his finger in front of her face. Sara grabbed them from him and fumbled as she unlocked the door.
As they walked in Grissom studied the room as if it was a crime scene, the place was a disaster area, the coffee table was covered with dirty dishes and half-empty glasses of soda and bottles of water. The kitchen counter was littered with trash, bunched up paper towels, empty soda bottles and junk mail. There were clothes strew all over the room. Grissom noticed the only part of the apartment that was not trashed was the desk in the corner. The bookcases were packed full, and there were more books stacked neatly on the floor on either side of Sara's computer desk as well as a few books laying open on the desk. Grissom's eye caught a small stack of clothes folded in a laundry basket next to the door, he walked over and sorted through it, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt and handed them to Sara as she sat down on the couch.
"I'm going to make some coffee before I go." Grissom said as he walked into the kitchen. He heard something crunch under his feet and looked down to see shards of glass scattered on the floor.
Sara had heard the sound of the glass in the kitchen and leaned her head against the back of the couch and laughed, "Before I left for work today I told myself I wasn't going to drink anymore. I planned to be sober enough to clean that up when I got home."
"Well, it's a good thing one of us is sober then." Grissom started the coffee and bent down to clean up the glass.
"You don't have to clean that up, I'll get it later." Sara said even though she heard him sweeping up the glass. Sara wondered why Grissom was being so nice to her right now, it was not like she really deserved to be treated so well by him. She had a feeling that he was motivated by pity, two days in a row he had seen her alone and so drunk she could barely stand.
"Grissom?"
"Yeah?" Grissom stood and walked over to the trash can to throw away the broken glass. He noticed that Sara had decided to change into the clothes he had gotten for her, right there in the middle of the living room she was pulling on her sweatpants.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Sara asked as she stripped off the shirt she was wearing, completely oblivious to Grissom standing in the kitchen.
Grissom swallowed hard, desperately trying to tear his eyes off of Sara, " I, um... Well..." Grissom trailed off and turned around to check the coffee, it was done. Thank God. Grissom opened a few cabinets before he found a mug; he filled it and took to Sara, who was now fully clothed in sweats and a LVPD T-shirt and lying on the couch.
"You just seem like you might need someone to be nice to you right now." Grissom said handing Sara the mug and then sitting down in the office chair at Sara's desk.
Sara laughed, "And you think that someone should be you? That's a little out of character of you don't you think."
"I don't know Sara," Grissom said feeling a little defensive, "I just am. Anyway, I should probably get going, you need to sleep this off." Grissom stood up and took the coffee cup from Sara and set it on the end table, he then pulled the throw from the back of the couch and covered her.
"Oh no you don't, you can't get out of this one. Answer the question and then you can go. Why are you being so nice to me?" Sara watched him intently as he searched for an answer.
"Sara, I've never not been nice to you." Grissom said trying desperately to avoid looking into Sara's eyes.
"Don't be patronizing, Grissom." Sara said starting to sound irritated, "And stop beating around the bush and answer the question. Why are you being so nice to me now after so long of all but pretending I don't exist? You feel bad for me don't you? No, that can't be it, you don't FEEL anything. You think I have a problem, that has to be it. You think I have a problem, and you just want to make sure that you aren't the cause so you don't have to feel responsible. So that you can rest easy knowing that my self-distruction is motivated by someone or something other than you, right?" Sara laid her head back and closed her eyes, just waiting to hear what Grissom had to say.
"So, that's what you think? You really think that I have no emotion at all. Well Sara, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but while I might not get emotionally involved with my work, I do HAVE emotions. And you know what, I DO feel bad for you Sara, and I DO think that you have a problem." Grissom raised his voice slightly to get his point across, "And frankly, it doesn't matter what this is motivated by, whether it's me, or work, or anything else, it needs to stop, you have a problem and you need help. That's why I'm being nice, Sara, because I want to help you."
"Well it is you, Grissom." Sara said sitting up, "You drive me crazy. One day you and I can work together and have a conversation together without a second thought and the next day we can barely be in the same room together without filling it with tension. I just can't handle it anymore, it's been going on for way too long." Sara rubbed her face and sighed, "I'm just tired of day to day waiting to see how things will be between us so that I can determine what my day will be like. Lately, my days have been pretty bad."
Grissom moved from his seat on the coffee table to the couch next to Sara. He knew how she felt, and honestly, he was feeling just as frustrated with their situation. They sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity before Grissom finally broke the tension.
"I'm sorry." Grissom barely whispered, "I'm sorry things had to get to this point, I suppose if I knew how things would have turned this way, I would have done some things differently." Grissom sighed and closed his eyes, leaning his head against the back of the couch.
Sara was taken aback by Grissom's apology, it was not like him to apologize, especially to her, but she also did not think that this situation was deserved of an apology. "Don't apologize, Grissom. I don't regret anything that has happened, you shouldn't either. I just don't think I can take much more of it." Sara paused and took a deep breath, " They offered me my job back in San Francisco, I think it would be good for both of us if I go, we need to be away from each other. Things won't get better unless we get some space and time between us, they won't get worse either."
Sara waited for Grissom's reply, she expected him to say she was crazy to think that running away from a problem will fix it, or that he did not want her to go. When he did not say anything, Sara looked over to Grissom only to see him sound asleep.
Sara smiled and stood from the couch, she reached down and took Grissom's glasses off and set them on the end table, and she gently ran her hand through his hair before making her way to her bedroom. Sleep quickly overcame her.
A few hours later, Sara woke up and dragged herself out of bed and into the living room. She half expected to still see Grissom sleeping on the couch, but she was surprised to see that he had already left. Sara sat down at her desk and noticed a note taped to the computer screen addressed to her in Grissom's handwriting:
Sara,
I think you are right, we do need some time apart, but I wish it didn't have to be this way. Maybe someday we'll be able to make each other happy, until then we can only work on making ourselves happy. Good Luck in Frisco, keep in touch.
Love,
Grissom
Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long to get this out, I had major writer's block, I didn't want it to get too fluffy, and it didn't, so I like it now, after something like 4 revisions. Better late than never. Again, if anyone wants to Beta for me, drop me an email. Reviews are appreciated, good and bad, flames will be used to start bonfires in my back yard.
Enjoy!
Grissom pulled up to Sara's building and parked, he looked over at Sara in the passenger seat, she was still sound asleep. Grissom watched her sleep for a minute, the way the light from the street lamps cast shadows across her face. Sara looked almost peaceful, a look Grissom was sure he hadn't seen on her face in a long time, it was almost a shame to wake her up.
"Sara." Grissom whispered as he touched her shoulder, "We're here."
Sara stirred in the seat and opened her eyes. She definitely was not feeling her best right now. Sara sat up and reoriented herself with her surroundings, her stomach was churning and her head was spinning.
"Thanks for bringing me home Grissom." Sara said as she opened the door and stepped out of the car. Sara was much shakier on her feet than she anticipated; she was noticeably hanging on the car door trying to get herself together.
"Sara, let me help you inside, you can barely stand." Grissom said as he got out of the car and started around to the other side.
"No Grissom, I'm fine." Sara shut the car door and turned to go into the building. Sara missed the step up on to the curb and tripped, she fell face first straight into Grissom's chest.
Grissom caught Sara settling his hands on her sides, "Still don't want me to help you?" Grissom half smiled as he helped Sara stand back up.
Sara pushed back off of Grissom, "No, Grissom, I don't want your help." Sara began to dig through her purse for her keys, as she pulled them out she dropped them.
Grissom bent down to pick up the keys, "Sara, let me take you upstairs, I don't want you to hurt yourself. Please, for my own peace of mind."
Sara rolled her eyes and started up the stairs to her apartment with Grissom in tow, his hand resting on the small of her back. When the two reached the door Sara began to dig for her keys again, Grissom smiled as he watched her; he let her look for a minute and then dangled her keys from his finger in front of her face. Sara grabbed them from him and fumbled as she unlocked the door.
As they walked in Grissom studied the room as if it was a crime scene, the place was a disaster area, the coffee table was covered with dirty dishes and half-empty glasses of soda and bottles of water. The kitchen counter was littered with trash, bunched up paper towels, empty soda bottles and junk mail. There were clothes strew all over the room. Grissom noticed the only part of the apartment that was not trashed was the desk in the corner. The bookcases were packed full, and there were more books stacked neatly on the floor on either side of Sara's computer desk as well as a few books laying open on the desk. Grissom's eye caught a small stack of clothes folded in a laundry basket next to the door, he walked over and sorted through it, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt and handed them to Sara as she sat down on the couch.
"I'm going to make some coffee before I go." Grissom said as he walked into the kitchen. He heard something crunch under his feet and looked down to see shards of glass scattered on the floor.
Sara had heard the sound of the glass in the kitchen and leaned her head against the back of the couch and laughed, "Before I left for work today I told myself I wasn't going to drink anymore. I planned to be sober enough to clean that up when I got home."
"Well, it's a good thing one of us is sober then." Grissom started the coffee and bent down to clean up the glass.
"You don't have to clean that up, I'll get it later." Sara said even though she heard him sweeping up the glass. Sara wondered why Grissom was being so nice to her right now, it was not like she really deserved to be treated so well by him. She had a feeling that he was motivated by pity, two days in a row he had seen her alone and so drunk she could barely stand.
"Grissom?"
"Yeah?" Grissom stood and walked over to the trash can to throw away the broken glass. He noticed that Sara had decided to change into the clothes he had gotten for her, right there in the middle of the living room she was pulling on her sweatpants.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Sara asked as she stripped off the shirt she was wearing, completely oblivious to Grissom standing in the kitchen.
Grissom swallowed hard, desperately trying to tear his eyes off of Sara, " I, um... Well..." Grissom trailed off and turned around to check the coffee, it was done. Thank God. Grissom opened a few cabinets before he found a mug; he filled it and took to Sara, who was now fully clothed in sweats and a LVPD T-shirt and lying on the couch.
"You just seem like you might need someone to be nice to you right now." Grissom said handing Sara the mug and then sitting down in the office chair at Sara's desk.
Sara laughed, "And you think that someone should be you? That's a little out of character of you don't you think."
"I don't know Sara," Grissom said feeling a little defensive, "I just am. Anyway, I should probably get going, you need to sleep this off." Grissom stood up and took the coffee cup from Sara and set it on the end table, he then pulled the throw from the back of the couch and covered her.
"Oh no you don't, you can't get out of this one. Answer the question and then you can go. Why are you being so nice to me?" Sara watched him intently as he searched for an answer.
"Sara, I've never not been nice to you." Grissom said trying desperately to avoid looking into Sara's eyes.
"Don't be patronizing, Grissom." Sara said starting to sound irritated, "And stop beating around the bush and answer the question. Why are you being so nice to me now after so long of all but pretending I don't exist? You feel bad for me don't you? No, that can't be it, you don't FEEL anything. You think I have a problem, that has to be it. You think I have a problem, and you just want to make sure that you aren't the cause so you don't have to feel responsible. So that you can rest easy knowing that my self-distruction is motivated by someone or something other than you, right?" Sara laid her head back and closed her eyes, just waiting to hear what Grissom had to say.
"So, that's what you think? You really think that I have no emotion at all. Well Sara, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but while I might not get emotionally involved with my work, I do HAVE emotions. And you know what, I DO feel bad for you Sara, and I DO think that you have a problem." Grissom raised his voice slightly to get his point across, "And frankly, it doesn't matter what this is motivated by, whether it's me, or work, or anything else, it needs to stop, you have a problem and you need help. That's why I'm being nice, Sara, because I want to help you."
"Well it is you, Grissom." Sara said sitting up, "You drive me crazy. One day you and I can work together and have a conversation together without a second thought and the next day we can barely be in the same room together without filling it with tension. I just can't handle it anymore, it's been going on for way too long." Sara rubbed her face and sighed, "I'm just tired of day to day waiting to see how things will be between us so that I can determine what my day will be like. Lately, my days have been pretty bad."
Grissom moved from his seat on the coffee table to the couch next to Sara. He knew how she felt, and honestly, he was feeling just as frustrated with their situation. They sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity before Grissom finally broke the tension.
"I'm sorry." Grissom barely whispered, "I'm sorry things had to get to this point, I suppose if I knew how things would have turned this way, I would have done some things differently." Grissom sighed and closed his eyes, leaning his head against the back of the couch.
Sara was taken aback by Grissom's apology, it was not like him to apologize, especially to her, but she also did not think that this situation was deserved of an apology. "Don't apologize, Grissom. I don't regret anything that has happened, you shouldn't either. I just don't think I can take much more of it." Sara paused and took a deep breath, " They offered me my job back in San Francisco, I think it would be good for both of us if I go, we need to be away from each other. Things won't get better unless we get some space and time between us, they won't get worse either."
Sara waited for Grissom's reply, she expected him to say she was crazy to think that running away from a problem will fix it, or that he did not want her to go. When he did not say anything, Sara looked over to Grissom only to see him sound asleep.
Sara smiled and stood from the couch, she reached down and took Grissom's glasses off and set them on the end table, and she gently ran her hand through his hair before making her way to her bedroom. Sleep quickly overcame her.
A few hours later, Sara woke up and dragged herself out of bed and into the living room. She half expected to still see Grissom sleeping on the couch, but she was surprised to see that he had already left. Sara sat down at her desk and noticed a note taped to the computer screen addressed to her in Grissom's handwriting:
Sara,
I think you are right, we do need some time apart, but I wish it didn't have to be this way. Maybe someday we'll be able to make each other happy, until then we can only work on making ourselves happy. Good Luck in Frisco, keep in touch.
Love,
Grissom