Title: Paying Old Debts
Author: Cheryl W.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.
Replies to reviews at bottom
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Chapter 10
Van looked at the house before him and fought off the shiver that went down his spine. It sickened him that he knew the layout of this house better than he knew any of the interiors of the houses he had lived in as a kid.
Dragging in a steadying breath, he rang the doorbell to Roberts' house. Defeating the urge to pace, he waited still as a statue until the door opened to reveal one of Roberts' men from the club. With a jerk of the head, the man invited Van into the house.
Like a good obedient dog, Van followed the man though the house to a door that Van knew led into Cade's study. The man swung open the door and Van forced himself to step into the study. Suddenly it felt like a perverted homecoming. Roberts hadn't even redecorated much in the eleven years since Van had graced the house.
Cade sat behind the cherry wood desk, ruffling through a stack of paperwork. He looked up at Van's entrance. Straightening up in his chair, he studied Van in silence, the only sound in the room was the click, signaling the closing of the door behind Van.
Van's eyes did not waver from Cade's. He would not quell under Cade's assessing gaze and he would not let the possibly nasty outcome to this meeting even enter his mind. He would take this meeting moment by moment and let his instincts guide him. They had kept him alive this long.
"Phil said we came out ahead on the drugs." There was no wonder in Cade's voice, only acceptance. As if it were a sure thing he had betted upon.
The only outward reaction this earned from Van was a darkening in his eyes. But inside, Van waited with a sinking heart for Cade to condemn him for the leader's death or to ask where the missing crate of drugs were. But Cade voiced neither concern.
"So how did you get the drugs, Van?" he inquired, his eyes watching Van for signs of the lie he expected to be coming.
"I cut a deal with the Feds," Van confessed without hesitation. There was a time to play Roberts ...and this wasn't it.
No surprise showed in Cade's features, instead he nodded his head as if in confirmation of his own theory. "And what are the terms of this deal you made?"
Emotionlessly, Van answered, "They want me to find out the location of your boss's warehouse."
Cade was too surprised to hide his reaction. A choked laugh erupted from him. "They are setting their sights a little high! You tell them that?"
"Did. Didn't do any good."
"And, if for some strange reason, you fail to keep your side of this deal?" Pure curiosity drove Roberts now.
Bracing himself to withstand Cade's pleased reaction, Van lightly answered with a put on smile, "I'll see the justice system from the other side."
At this, a light of enjoyment entered Cade's eyes. "How do you like the *good guys* now, Van? They don't play the game much differently than we do."
Van wanted to object to being lumped into a category with Cade but he let his better sense keep him quiet.
Decisively, Cade stood up and came around the desk to Van. Wrapping his arm around Van's shoulders and ignoring the tight stance of the younger man, he leaned over to Van's ear. "Nice work with the drug deal this morning, Van. But it would have been more impressive if you did it without your two Candy Store cohorts."
As his hope that Cade would be unaware of Deaq and Billie's involvement in the drug deal died, Van tried hard to remain unreadable. He looked straight ahead and countered, "Only a fool does not stack the odds in his favor." Then he turned to face Cade. "I'm no fool." His eyes blazing a challenge to Cade.
But Cade did not offer a challenge or even malice. He offered something which was worse...his respect. "You never were a fool, kid." Then he began to head out of the room, his arm still lodged around Van ensuring that Van would match his pace. "Now let's put you back on the payroll...full time."
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Deaq was playing horse ...all by himself...on the Candy Store's basketball court trying hard to not think of Van...of where Van was...of Van's corpse being dumped somewhere. But as the ball missed the basket by a mile yet again, he let out a roar of frustration. "I can't take this!" he yelled turning to Billie's office.
Billie looked up from her computer screen and beckoned Deaq into her office. "I know, this waiting is hard."
"Hard?!" Deaq contradicted as he came to stand in front of Billie's desk. "It's stupid and dangerous! We should be backing Van up, making sure Roberts doesn't decide to kill him the second he lays eyes on him."
"How, Deaq?" Billie demanded, her own frustration showing. "How do you want us to back 'em up? Hide in the bushes outside Roberts' house? Have Van wear a wire...and when Roberts finds it, we won't find enough of Van to id! You tell me how to back up Van and I'll do it!"
"There's got to be something we can do, Billie! Van's out there risking his life ...for us! And I'm in here playing a game you need two players for and you're studying Roberts file like its hieroglyphics and you got a degree to read 'em. Except you don't!" Deaq raised voice echoed through the Candy Store.
"Why don't you say what's on your mind, Deaq?" Billie challenged, coming to stand behind her desk.
Glad for the prodding, Deaq let his words tumble from his mouth as his eyes seared into his boss's. "Alright. You think you can handle what I got to say than I'm down with saying my piece. Van's in this mess cause of you, cause you had to play big bad lieutenant. If you had backed off like Van practically begged ya to do, Roberts would have let Van walk."
"That was a pipe dream and you know it! Roberts had no intention of letting Van slip through his fingers...again! No matter what I did, Roberts was going to work an angle to get Van back under his wing."
"You keep telling yourself that so you can sleep tonight," Deaq snidely returned and began to walk out of Billie's office.
"Why would he let Van walk Deaq? Why?" Billie questioned to Deaq's back.
Deaq did not turn around to reply but his words reached Billie clearly. "'Cause no matter the history, no matter the bad blood, I think Cade Roberts likes and respects Van."
"Deaq he put a icepick in Van's back!" Billie incredulously pointed out.
At her words, Deaq turned around and met her look. "Him liking and respecting Van doesn't mean he wouldn't kill Van, Billie. It just means he might feel a tinge of regret doing it."
In her heart, Billie knew Deaq was right on the money. "I screwed up, Deaq and I'm sorry. I'ld cut the deal with Roberts if I could. I'ld cut the deal with the Feds if I could. But I can't. All I can do it sit here and search for a weakness in Roberts and pray that Van's gonna survive this."
Silence fell between them before Deaq lightly offered, "How about we play a game one on one? I'll give you a three point lead like Van always offers me."
A forced smile came to Billie and she nodded her head as she stepped out of her shoes. "Except I'm not foolish enough to turn that offer down like you always do."
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In his career as a cop, Van had seen a lot of things that threatened to shrivel up his soul. But any veteran would tell you it was always the first of those experiences that scarred you the deepest. And Van's first experience with the depravity of mankind had happened right here, in the very room that Cade ushered him into now.
Instantly Van couldn't breathe, couldn't force the oppressive weight off his chest that had slammed into him like a cold unearthly gush of wind as soon as the door to the room had opened. This room was his own personal hell. Here his soul had been condemned and shattered a thousand times over.
It was a small room with lead walls that kept it cold and damp and sound proof. It boasted but one piece of furniture...a chair. And now it bore one occupant. A man Van guessed was a few years his senior sat handcuffed to the chair, pale and sweating. His eyes darkened further with fear at the sight of his two visitors.
"Mr. Roberts, I know I screwed up but I can do right by you!" the man pleaded, his eyes darted between Cade and Van, fearing an attack from both visitors. "I can get the truck back, I can get the drugs back." He continued, sighting on Roberts who came to stand in front of him. "I'll break into the impound and take back your shipment."
Van's stomach dropped to the ground as he realized the man before him had been the truck driver that Billie had pulled over for a heavy load. The truck driver who had allowed the mafia's drug shipment to be confiscated by the feds. With clarity, Van knew the driver's fate even if the man did not.
Roberts bent down to be eye level with the truck driver, "Sorry Kenny, but Van here already retrieved the drugs and the truck for me. You got anything else to offer me? I need something to get you back in good standing. You understand that, right?" his voice soft, almost understanding, as if he too wanted to see Kenny get out of the situation he found himself in.
Cringing, Van watched the light of hope enter Kenny's eyes. He was falling for Cade's head games. The poor idiot thought Cade gave a damn about his fate..that he was offering him a way out of his disgraceful debacle.
Kenny was trying hard to field other ideas for his repentance. "I...I don't know what I can do to make this up to you but you tell me what to do and I'll do it."
Cade nodded his head and adopted a look of contemplation. Then Cade looked to Van, "You got any ideas how to redeem poor Kenny here. I mean, after all, his predicament is really your fault."
This earned Van Kenny's wide eyed look. A look Van could not meet for long. He was looking at a corpse...Kenny was the only one who didn't know that. And Cade was right, one hundred percent. Van had, albeit inadvertently, been the cause for Kenny's misfortunate happenstance...just like he would be responsible for his death.
Meeting Cade's eyes, Van knew the other man was enjoying this situation, enjoying heaping more guilt on his head. It was the reason Cade had brought him to this little room of death and despair. "You don't believe in redemption," Van stated coldly. "Someone always has to pay the price owed."
Satisfaction glimmered in Cade's eyes and Van felt his stomach turn. Pleasing Cade had not been his objective, not now...strange how the span of eleven years turned everything upside down.
Cade refocused on Kenny, who had begun to tremble as he began to believe he would not leave this tiny room alive. "Van knows me well, Kenny. I don't believe in redemption...I believe in getting debts paid...in full. And you owe me a debt, no , actually it's worse than that. You owe my boss a debt." He let that sink in and let his face go still with menace. When he saw Kenny was nearing his emotional breaking point, Cade smiled and reached out and ruffled Kenny's hair, pretending to not notice how the man flinched away. "Lucky for you, Van already paid your debt with my boss. He got the drugs and the truck back."
Relief swamped over Kenny's features and he slumped back into the chair with a deep sigh. But Van knew paying off a debt to Roberts would never be that easy. Yes, Kenny's debt with the mob might have been cleared but his debt with Roberts, his punishment for losing the shipment, that had not even begun to be paid.
Desperation gripped Van and he strode to Cade's side. "He didn't betray you, Cade. He's still loyal to you." Van reasoned, earning him Cade's attention.
Rising to his feet, Cade faced Van, "That's what you said about that nineteen year old kid...what was his name again? You know, the one I put in the desert to die and you called his daddy and told him where he was."
A hard edge had entered Cade's voice and Van knew the sins of the past had not been forgotten or forgiven. "Kyle," Van supplied lowly.
"Yeah, that was his name. You know his dad is still a driver for my boss. He's got honor, even if his son did not." And it almost felt like that slam was directed at Van, as if he were Cade's son, enduring a lecture on how disappointing he was to his father.
This rubbed Van the wrong way. If he wanted this lecture he'd track down Ray Ray. "Honor? There is no honor in this business." Before his words had barely left his mouth, Cade's fist impacted with his left cheek, sending him stumbling to keep his feet. With fury blazing in his eyes, Van stood to his full height and faced Cade. "You and my father, you speak of honor, of being true to your word! But your version of honor or being true to your word, it's worthless...it only ever benefits you!"
Cade's true temper started to be unleashed. "Without my honor, without my word, you'd be dead right now! You'd be dead and your cop friends would be dead! The *only* thing standing between you and that fate is me! I saved you when you were that scrawny kid and I'm saving you now!"
"Saved me?! You condemned me!" Van shouted back.
"We all do what we have to do to survive, Van!"
Van stilled and then quietly said, "Maybe I shoulda chosen death instead of survival."
This caught Cade by surprise. He knew he himself would do anything to survive. Anything. Cade pulled his gun and Van's heart thudded in his chest. But Cade did not sight the weapon on Van...he sighted it on Kenny.
"No!" Van screamed and flew to stand between Cade's gun and the now pleading Kenny.
With understanding but disappointment, Cade knew what drove Van...what had always driven Van. "But it's never really been about *your* survival, Van. At first it was about your parents' survival and then it was about Kyle's survival and Boyd's survival and your cop friends' survival and now this piece of crap's survival. You fight for their survival, not your own."
Van swallowed hard. Cade had struck to his core. No lie could sway the truth Cade had uncovered...the root of all Van's weakness. Now Cade knew that weakness, maybe he had always known it but now Van could see the glimmer in his eyes that spoke of no mercy in exploiting that weakness.
"Kenny's gonna die, Van. But you could stop it, you could pull your gun and kill me right here, right now. But you would be condemning your partner and lieutenant ...cause I'm still the only thing standing between them and my boss, who is not totally convinced the debt has been paid in full. But you do what you have to do, Van." And Cade cocked the gun, "It's Kenny's life for theirs. You decide who survives."
"He doesn't deserve to die! Beat him, disfigure him, make him destitute for the rest of his life.... but don't kill him!" Van argued.
Cade uncocked the gun and Van let relief seep into his mind but it was obliterated the next second when Cade pressed the gun into his hand.
"I won't kill, Kenny. You will." And Cade's eyes held no mercy.
The gun felt heavy in Van's hand, heavy and alien as if he had never held a gun before. Like that first time Cade had pressed a gun into his hands and ordered him to murder a man in this very same room eleven years ago.
Van's eyes clouded with fear. This was always the line Cade drew in the sand. A line Van had tittered on the brink of but had never crossed.
Cade softly counseled, "You're not that naïve kid anymore, Van. You've taken lives ....." then his tone turned malicious, "in the line of duty. For honor, for others survival. This is no different... it all comes down to Kenny's survival or Deaq and Billie's survival. Kill Kenny and I'll let your partner and boss walk away, clear of all debt to me and my boss. You don't kill Kenny and you'll be IDing two corpses in the morgue by dinnertime. So who are you going to murder, Van? Kenny or Deaq and Billie? Make your choice because you can't save them all, Van."
TBC
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Replies to reviews:
Almarmentini:Hope you find this chapter more interesting than the last. As for Hilary, sorry to say she will not be making an appearance (I want to keep Van for myself-even if it is just in one of my crazy stories!) Love to hear what you think of this chapter. P.S.Thanks for the second review to get me motivated to post this chapter.
Fan4fastln: Glad you liked the humor. As for Ray Ray, I don't doubt he loves Van, but getting Ray Ray's approval is another thing entirely. I think now he respects Van's career choice, but it seemed to be a breaking point for them previously. That left the door open for me to think he would have been more proud of Van if he picked a career on the other side of the law. Besides, painting Ray Ray this way allowed me to heap more angst onto Van which is always my primary goal. And as you guessed, I did have more unpleasantness in store for Van. Please drop me a review.
DKM: Hope you're feeling better and I'm really glad my little story could cheer you up. Me personally, when I'm feeling sick or down, I always love reading/writing about characters who are suffering from major angst/illness/injury. (I think this falls under misery loves company) And I'm relieved you liked the fight scene. I always want them in my story but they are extremely hard for me to write. But writing the banter between Deaq and Van was pure joy. Maybe because they have arguments like I do with my best friend- we only discuss important things like movies, TV and men. It was a real pleasure to hear from you and I look forward to your next review.
Electricgurl: Shame on me for posting this chapter a day late, especially when you begged me to hurry with the next post. Hope this chapter was worth the wait. Thanks for your encouragement; it really keeps me motivated on my writing. Sorry to hear about your lost eppies-you seem more understanding than I would have been in the same situation. I guess that's because I'm the baby of the family. Love to hear your thoughts on this chapter.
Leann: A big thank you for liking my portrayal of Ray Ray. I guess I always believed there were darker times between he and Van because Van actually walked away from him for seven years-Van who gives everyone a break. And I totally trust Van's instincts about Ray Ray. And I agree deadly serious Van is kinda hard to take in the episodes. You only got a glimpse of that side of him, but it is what drew me to his character. Actually, Peter is in a new movie on DVD called 'Stealing Time'. I haven't seen it yet because I need to remember him as Van only until I get this story done. Thanks again for your review and I hope you like this chapter.
Sirith: I really appreciated that you email me your review since ff.net was misbehaving!!! And as you note this is not getting posted on time...whoops! I'm pleased that you like my convos because they are my favorite thing to write, and I loved the show's conversations. So it's a real honor that you believe these convos fit the characters. As you can tell, Van is getting absolutely no breaks in this chapter....this story and I'ld feel guilty if it didn't make me feel so good!! Please drop me a review anyway you can!
Now for those still with us, I'll tell you the bad news. Next weeks post will be late because I'm on vacation. Sorry! (Yes I'm a chicken for posting this way down at the bottom) Thanks for all who read and reviewed.
Cheryl W
Author: Cheryl W.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fastlane or anything in conjunction with Fastlane nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.
Replies to reviews at bottom
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Chapter 10
Van looked at the house before him and fought off the shiver that went down his spine. It sickened him that he knew the layout of this house better than he knew any of the interiors of the houses he had lived in as a kid.
Dragging in a steadying breath, he rang the doorbell to Roberts' house. Defeating the urge to pace, he waited still as a statue until the door opened to reveal one of Roberts' men from the club. With a jerk of the head, the man invited Van into the house.
Like a good obedient dog, Van followed the man though the house to a door that Van knew led into Cade's study. The man swung open the door and Van forced himself to step into the study. Suddenly it felt like a perverted homecoming. Roberts hadn't even redecorated much in the eleven years since Van had graced the house.
Cade sat behind the cherry wood desk, ruffling through a stack of paperwork. He looked up at Van's entrance. Straightening up in his chair, he studied Van in silence, the only sound in the room was the click, signaling the closing of the door behind Van.
Van's eyes did not waver from Cade's. He would not quell under Cade's assessing gaze and he would not let the possibly nasty outcome to this meeting even enter his mind. He would take this meeting moment by moment and let his instincts guide him. They had kept him alive this long.
"Phil said we came out ahead on the drugs." There was no wonder in Cade's voice, only acceptance. As if it were a sure thing he had betted upon.
The only outward reaction this earned from Van was a darkening in his eyes. But inside, Van waited with a sinking heart for Cade to condemn him for the leader's death or to ask where the missing crate of drugs were. But Cade voiced neither concern.
"So how did you get the drugs, Van?" he inquired, his eyes watching Van for signs of the lie he expected to be coming.
"I cut a deal with the Feds," Van confessed without hesitation. There was a time to play Roberts ...and this wasn't it.
No surprise showed in Cade's features, instead he nodded his head as if in confirmation of his own theory. "And what are the terms of this deal you made?"
Emotionlessly, Van answered, "They want me to find out the location of your boss's warehouse."
Cade was too surprised to hide his reaction. A choked laugh erupted from him. "They are setting their sights a little high! You tell them that?"
"Did. Didn't do any good."
"And, if for some strange reason, you fail to keep your side of this deal?" Pure curiosity drove Roberts now.
Bracing himself to withstand Cade's pleased reaction, Van lightly answered with a put on smile, "I'll see the justice system from the other side."
At this, a light of enjoyment entered Cade's eyes. "How do you like the *good guys* now, Van? They don't play the game much differently than we do."
Van wanted to object to being lumped into a category with Cade but he let his better sense keep him quiet.
Decisively, Cade stood up and came around the desk to Van. Wrapping his arm around Van's shoulders and ignoring the tight stance of the younger man, he leaned over to Van's ear. "Nice work with the drug deal this morning, Van. But it would have been more impressive if you did it without your two Candy Store cohorts."
As his hope that Cade would be unaware of Deaq and Billie's involvement in the drug deal died, Van tried hard to remain unreadable. He looked straight ahead and countered, "Only a fool does not stack the odds in his favor." Then he turned to face Cade. "I'm no fool." His eyes blazing a challenge to Cade.
But Cade did not offer a challenge or even malice. He offered something which was worse...his respect. "You never were a fool, kid." Then he began to head out of the room, his arm still lodged around Van ensuring that Van would match his pace. "Now let's put you back on the payroll...full time."
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Deaq was playing horse ...all by himself...on the Candy Store's basketball court trying hard to not think of Van...of where Van was...of Van's corpse being dumped somewhere. But as the ball missed the basket by a mile yet again, he let out a roar of frustration. "I can't take this!" he yelled turning to Billie's office.
Billie looked up from her computer screen and beckoned Deaq into her office. "I know, this waiting is hard."
"Hard?!" Deaq contradicted as he came to stand in front of Billie's desk. "It's stupid and dangerous! We should be backing Van up, making sure Roberts doesn't decide to kill him the second he lays eyes on him."
"How, Deaq?" Billie demanded, her own frustration showing. "How do you want us to back 'em up? Hide in the bushes outside Roberts' house? Have Van wear a wire...and when Roberts finds it, we won't find enough of Van to id! You tell me how to back up Van and I'll do it!"
"There's got to be something we can do, Billie! Van's out there risking his life ...for us! And I'm in here playing a game you need two players for and you're studying Roberts file like its hieroglyphics and you got a degree to read 'em. Except you don't!" Deaq raised voice echoed through the Candy Store.
"Why don't you say what's on your mind, Deaq?" Billie challenged, coming to stand behind her desk.
Glad for the prodding, Deaq let his words tumble from his mouth as his eyes seared into his boss's. "Alright. You think you can handle what I got to say than I'm down with saying my piece. Van's in this mess cause of you, cause you had to play big bad lieutenant. If you had backed off like Van practically begged ya to do, Roberts would have let Van walk."
"That was a pipe dream and you know it! Roberts had no intention of letting Van slip through his fingers...again! No matter what I did, Roberts was going to work an angle to get Van back under his wing."
"You keep telling yourself that so you can sleep tonight," Deaq snidely returned and began to walk out of Billie's office.
"Why would he let Van walk Deaq? Why?" Billie questioned to Deaq's back.
Deaq did not turn around to reply but his words reached Billie clearly. "'Cause no matter the history, no matter the bad blood, I think Cade Roberts likes and respects Van."
"Deaq he put a icepick in Van's back!" Billie incredulously pointed out.
At her words, Deaq turned around and met her look. "Him liking and respecting Van doesn't mean he wouldn't kill Van, Billie. It just means he might feel a tinge of regret doing it."
In her heart, Billie knew Deaq was right on the money. "I screwed up, Deaq and I'm sorry. I'ld cut the deal with Roberts if I could. I'ld cut the deal with the Feds if I could. But I can't. All I can do it sit here and search for a weakness in Roberts and pray that Van's gonna survive this."
Silence fell between them before Deaq lightly offered, "How about we play a game one on one? I'll give you a three point lead like Van always offers me."
A forced smile came to Billie and she nodded her head as she stepped out of her shoes. "Except I'm not foolish enough to turn that offer down like you always do."
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In his career as a cop, Van had seen a lot of things that threatened to shrivel up his soul. But any veteran would tell you it was always the first of those experiences that scarred you the deepest. And Van's first experience with the depravity of mankind had happened right here, in the very room that Cade ushered him into now.
Instantly Van couldn't breathe, couldn't force the oppressive weight off his chest that had slammed into him like a cold unearthly gush of wind as soon as the door to the room had opened. This room was his own personal hell. Here his soul had been condemned and shattered a thousand times over.
It was a small room with lead walls that kept it cold and damp and sound proof. It boasted but one piece of furniture...a chair. And now it bore one occupant. A man Van guessed was a few years his senior sat handcuffed to the chair, pale and sweating. His eyes darkened further with fear at the sight of his two visitors.
"Mr. Roberts, I know I screwed up but I can do right by you!" the man pleaded, his eyes darted between Cade and Van, fearing an attack from both visitors. "I can get the truck back, I can get the drugs back." He continued, sighting on Roberts who came to stand in front of him. "I'll break into the impound and take back your shipment."
Van's stomach dropped to the ground as he realized the man before him had been the truck driver that Billie had pulled over for a heavy load. The truck driver who had allowed the mafia's drug shipment to be confiscated by the feds. With clarity, Van knew the driver's fate even if the man did not.
Roberts bent down to be eye level with the truck driver, "Sorry Kenny, but Van here already retrieved the drugs and the truck for me. You got anything else to offer me? I need something to get you back in good standing. You understand that, right?" his voice soft, almost understanding, as if he too wanted to see Kenny get out of the situation he found himself in.
Cringing, Van watched the light of hope enter Kenny's eyes. He was falling for Cade's head games. The poor idiot thought Cade gave a damn about his fate..that he was offering him a way out of his disgraceful debacle.
Kenny was trying hard to field other ideas for his repentance. "I...I don't know what I can do to make this up to you but you tell me what to do and I'll do it."
Cade nodded his head and adopted a look of contemplation. Then Cade looked to Van, "You got any ideas how to redeem poor Kenny here. I mean, after all, his predicament is really your fault."
This earned Van Kenny's wide eyed look. A look Van could not meet for long. He was looking at a corpse...Kenny was the only one who didn't know that. And Cade was right, one hundred percent. Van had, albeit inadvertently, been the cause for Kenny's misfortunate happenstance...just like he would be responsible for his death.
Meeting Cade's eyes, Van knew the other man was enjoying this situation, enjoying heaping more guilt on his head. It was the reason Cade had brought him to this little room of death and despair. "You don't believe in redemption," Van stated coldly. "Someone always has to pay the price owed."
Satisfaction glimmered in Cade's eyes and Van felt his stomach turn. Pleasing Cade had not been his objective, not now...strange how the span of eleven years turned everything upside down.
Cade refocused on Kenny, who had begun to tremble as he began to believe he would not leave this tiny room alive. "Van knows me well, Kenny. I don't believe in redemption...I believe in getting debts paid...in full. And you owe me a debt, no , actually it's worse than that. You owe my boss a debt." He let that sink in and let his face go still with menace. When he saw Kenny was nearing his emotional breaking point, Cade smiled and reached out and ruffled Kenny's hair, pretending to not notice how the man flinched away. "Lucky for you, Van already paid your debt with my boss. He got the drugs and the truck back."
Relief swamped over Kenny's features and he slumped back into the chair with a deep sigh. But Van knew paying off a debt to Roberts would never be that easy. Yes, Kenny's debt with the mob might have been cleared but his debt with Roberts, his punishment for losing the shipment, that had not even begun to be paid.
Desperation gripped Van and he strode to Cade's side. "He didn't betray you, Cade. He's still loyal to you." Van reasoned, earning him Cade's attention.
Rising to his feet, Cade faced Van, "That's what you said about that nineteen year old kid...what was his name again? You know, the one I put in the desert to die and you called his daddy and told him where he was."
A hard edge had entered Cade's voice and Van knew the sins of the past had not been forgotten or forgiven. "Kyle," Van supplied lowly.
"Yeah, that was his name. You know his dad is still a driver for my boss. He's got honor, even if his son did not." And it almost felt like that slam was directed at Van, as if he were Cade's son, enduring a lecture on how disappointing he was to his father.
This rubbed Van the wrong way. If he wanted this lecture he'd track down Ray Ray. "Honor? There is no honor in this business." Before his words had barely left his mouth, Cade's fist impacted with his left cheek, sending him stumbling to keep his feet. With fury blazing in his eyes, Van stood to his full height and faced Cade. "You and my father, you speak of honor, of being true to your word! But your version of honor or being true to your word, it's worthless...it only ever benefits you!"
Cade's true temper started to be unleashed. "Without my honor, without my word, you'd be dead right now! You'd be dead and your cop friends would be dead! The *only* thing standing between you and that fate is me! I saved you when you were that scrawny kid and I'm saving you now!"
"Saved me?! You condemned me!" Van shouted back.
"We all do what we have to do to survive, Van!"
Van stilled and then quietly said, "Maybe I shoulda chosen death instead of survival."
This caught Cade by surprise. He knew he himself would do anything to survive. Anything. Cade pulled his gun and Van's heart thudded in his chest. But Cade did not sight the weapon on Van...he sighted it on Kenny.
"No!" Van screamed and flew to stand between Cade's gun and the now pleading Kenny.
With understanding but disappointment, Cade knew what drove Van...what had always driven Van. "But it's never really been about *your* survival, Van. At first it was about your parents' survival and then it was about Kyle's survival and Boyd's survival and your cop friends' survival and now this piece of crap's survival. You fight for their survival, not your own."
Van swallowed hard. Cade had struck to his core. No lie could sway the truth Cade had uncovered...the root of all Van's weakness. Now Cade knew that weakness, maybe he had always known it but now Van could see the glimmer in his eyes that spoke of no mercy in exploiting that weakness.
"Kenny's gonna die, Van. But you could stop it, you could pull your gun and kill me right here, right now. But you would be condemning your partner and lieutenant ...cause I'm still the only thing standing between them and my boss, who is not totally convinced the debt has been paid in full. But you do what you have to do, Van." And Cade cocked the gun, "It's Kenny's life for theirs. You decide who survives."
"He doesn't deserve to die! Beat him, disfigure him, make him destitute for the rest of his life.... but don't kill him!" Van argued.
Cade uncocked the gun and Van let relief seep into his mind but it was obliterated the next second when Cade pressed the gun into his hand.
"I won't kill, Kenny. You will." And Cade's eyes held no mercy.
The gun felt heavy in Van's hand, heavy and alien as if he had never held a gun before. Like that first time Cade had pressed a gun into his hands and ordered him to murder a man in this very same room eleven years ago.
Van's eyes clouded with fear. This was always the line Cade drew in the sand. A line Van had tittered on the brink of but had never crossed.
Cade softly counseled, "You're not that naïve kid anymore, Van. You've taken lives ....." then his tone turned malicious, "in the line of duty. For honor, for others survival. This is no different... it all comes down to Kenny's survival or Deaq and Billie's survival. Kill Kenny and I'll let your partner and boss walk away, clear of all debt to me and my boss. You don't kill Kenny and you'll be IDing two corpses in the morgue by dinnertime. So who are you going to murder, Van? Kenny or Deaq and Billie? Make your choice because you can't save them all, Van."
TBC
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Replies to reviews:
Almarmentini:Hope you find this chapter more interesting than the last. As for Hilary, sorry to say she will not be making an appearance (I want to keep Van for myself-even if it is just in one of my crazy stories!) Love to hear what you think of this chapter. P.S.Thanks for the second review to get me motivated to post this chapter.
Fan4fastln: Glad you liked the humor. As for Ray Ray, I don't doubt he loves Van, but getting Ray Ray's approval is another thing entirely. I think now he respects Van's career choice, but it seemed to be a breaking point for them previously. That left the door open for me to think he would have been more proud of Van if he picked a career on the other side of the law. Besides, painting Ray Ray this way allowed me to heap more angst onto Van which is always my primary goal. And as you guessed, I did have more unpleasantness in store for Van. Please drop me a review.
DKM: Hope you're feeling better and I'm really glad my little story could cheer you up. Me personally, when I'm feeling sick or down, I always love reading/writing about characters who are suffering from major angst/illness/injury. (I think this falls under misery loves company) And I'm relieved you liked the fight scene. I always want them in my story but they are extremely hard for me to write. But writing the banter between Deaq and Van was pure joy. Maybe because they have arguments like I do with my best friend- we only discuss important things like movies, TV and men. It was a real pleasure to hear from you and I look forward to your next review.
Electricgurl: Shame on me for posting this chapter a day late, especially when you begged me to hurry with the next post. Hope this chapter was worth the wait. Thanks for your encouragement; it really keeps me motivated on my writing. Sorry to hear about your lost eppies-you seem more understanding than I would have been in the same situation. I guess that's because I'm the baby of the family. Love to hear your thoughts on this chapter.
Leann: A big thank you for liking my portrayal of Ray Ray. I guess I always believed there were darker times between he and Van because Van actually walked away from him for seven years-Van who gives everyone a break. And I totally trust Van's instincts about Ray Ray. And I agree deadly serious Van is kinda hard to take in the episodes. You only got a glimpse of that side of him, but it is what drew me to his character. Actually, Peter is in a new movie on DVD called 'Stealing Time'. I haven't seen it yet because I need to remember him as Van only until I get this story done. Thanks again for your review and I hope you like this chapter.
Sirith: I really appreciated that you email me your review since ff.net was misbehaving!!! And as you note this is not getting posted on time...whoops! I'm pleased that you like my convos because they are my favorite thing to write, and I loved the show's conversations. So it's a real honor that you believe these convos fit the characters. As you can tell, Van is getting absolutely no breaks in this chapter....this story and I'ld feel guilty if it didn't make me feel so good!! Please drop me a review anyway you can!
Now for those still with us, I'll tell you the bad news. Next weeks post will be late because I'm on vacation. Sorry! (Yes I'm a chicken for posting this way down at the bottom) Thanks for all who read and reviewed.
Cheryl W