Thanks for all the reviews. I am finally done with the semester so I can
devote more time to writing. So many ideas are running through my head and
I just need to choose which direction I am going to take. I have a hard
time deciding, but hopefully not really long.
It was a short ride to the beach. Ryan didn't want to start the conversation because he didn't know where to start. This was an emotional time and he didn't want to end up upsetting her more. Marissa seemed to stare blankly out the window. The weather outside was bright and sunny, but that didn't matter. Everything felt murky and grey.
Once Ryan parked the car, Marissa stepped out and took a breath of cool crisp ocean air. This she really needed. Inside the house she felt suffocated. Too many memories, too much heartache. They took a seat on a pile of big rocks and watched for a little while the waves crash onto the sand.
"What did I do to deserve all this Ryan? Am I such a horrible person to be plagued with all this?"
"Of course not. You're a great person with a good heart. This was out of your control. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this." Ryan spoke to try and soothe her.
"I still can't see that. He was doing all this for us. I thought things would be different. Now my life is over."
"Your mom's still here, your sister, and especially me. You have so many people around you that even though he is gone you will never be alone."
"Then why do I still feel like that?" Marissa said as she looked at Ryan's saddened face.
"Because what happened makes you feel that way. You loved your dad the most in this world and now someone has to fill that void."
"Are you up to the challenge? You know how difficult I can be." Marissa chuckled.
"It's nice to see a little smile on your face."
"Well lately only you and my dad were capable of that."
"Seth and Summer too." Ryan joked.
"Well yeah. I guess I am underestimating the people around me."
"We will all help you through this. Anytime you need one of us, don't be afraid to let us know."
"I hope you are right."
"Marissa, you won't need the alcohol to help."
Marissa sat quiet at the mention of this. She knew what she was doing when she picked it up, but did it anyway. In the back of her mind it told her to call Ryan first, but she blocked it out. The numbness for some reason was more pleasing and quicker so she reached for that first.
"Ryan, it was a reaction. I should have picked up the phone as opposed to the bottle."
"It's alright. I'm not angry. I just wish you won't chose that over me again."
"I won't. I can't promise that though. To be honest with you."
"As long as you try. That is all I can expect."
Marissa smiled again at seeing that Ryan understood. She would hold to this as best as she could. Nothing in life is certain, something her mother has said before. Now she knows by what she meant. Learning the hard way is the toughest.
After an hour of just discussing the future, their future, Ryan drove Marissa back home. He told her that her mother needed her now and that she should spend some time with her. When they arrived at her house, a group of people already assembled there. Not everyone in attendance was upset about the news.
"What are all these people doing here?" Marissa asked.
"I don't know why. I guess they found out what happened." Ryan answered.
"I don't recognize half the people there."
Ryan quickly parked the car in the Cohen driveway and rushed alongside Marissa to find Julie. Maybe she would have answers to this. Among the mass of people were Jimmy's old clients. Eventually they discovered where she was.
"Mom, what are all these people here for? Did you ask them to come over?"
"Yes, honey. They came to pay their respects I guess. They started to arrive ten minutes after you left the house."
"I want them to leave right now. Look, they don't look like they came here for that reason at all."
"I can't just ask them to leave."
Overheard in the background is a man telling another associate that Jimmy now got what he deserved for losing all his money. Marissa overheard this and walked over to the man. Ryan told her not to do this.
"What did you just say about my dad? I want you to say that to my face!"
"Marissa, let's just get out of here." Ryan tried to pull her back.
"Ryan, I can handle this." Marissa turned again to the man. "How dare you say that about my dad! I want you leave right now."
"Oh ho. Aren't you sad that your dad can't buy you anything you want anymore?" The man laughed.
"I said get out!" Marissa yelled.
Julie came rushing over when she overheard Marissa.
"What are you doing Marissa? Calm down."
"Then you ask him to leave along with the rest of these people. Then maybe I will!" Marissa stood her ground.
Ryan just thought it was best to stand in the background while all this was happening around him. He was getting along fine with Julie and getting involved would damage that. He actually cared now since he had no choice. Marissa would have to live with Julie after what happened so they have to get along somehow.
Julie knew that things would need to change with her and Marissa so she agreed to what Marissa suggested. It took a while of convincing, but the people dissembled themselves pretty quickly. The people who were there for the right reasons left the quickest since they respected Marissa's wishes. She was so loud that everyone heard her request.
Ryan began to leave since she did mention that the rest of the people had to leave as well. Marissa grabbed Ryan and told him that he was not going anywhere. She turned him around and gave him a kiss for letting her stand on her own two feet for what seemed like the first time.
"What was that for? I didn't do anything."
"You let me stand up for myself and you were still there just in case I needed backup."
"I think you handled that well and you didn't need me here at all." Ryan joked.
"I'm just glad my mom listened to me for once."
Julie came back inside after seeing that everyone left the premises.
"Marissa could I have a talk with you alone?"
"I'll just go home. Call me later okay." Ryan spoke.
"Okay. Thanks for everything."
Marissa gave Ryan a kiss goodbye and he left the house. Julie asked Marissa to sit down. They haven't had a decent talk since what happened. Now that Marissa was in better spirits, or in a calm mood at least, she needed to talk to her about how things would be arranged and what plans need to be made.
It was a short ride to the beach. Ryan didn't want to start the conversation because he didn't know where to start. This was an emotional time and he didn't want to end up upsetting her more. Marissa seemed to stare blankly out the window. The weather outside was bright and sunny, but that didn't matter. Everything felt murky and grey.
Once Ryan parked the car, Marissa stepped out and took a breath of cool crisp ocean air. This she really needed. Inside the house she felt suffocated. Too many memories, too much heartache. They took a seat on a pile of big rocks and watched for a little while the waves crash onto the sand.
"What did I do to deserve all this Ryan? Am I such a horrible person to be plagued with all this?"
"Of course not. You're a great person with a good heart. This was out of your control. There was nothing you could have done to prevent this." Ryan spoke to try and soothe her.
"I still can't see that. He was doing all this for us. I thought things would be different. Now my life is over."
"Your mom's still here, your sister, and especially me. You have so many people around you that even though he is gone you will never be alone."
"Then why do I still feel like that?" Marissa said as she looked at Ryan's saddened face.
"Because what happened makes you feel that way. You loved your dad the most in this world and now someone has to fill that void."
"Are you up to the challenge? You know how difficult I can be." Marissa chuckled.
"It's nice to see a little smile on your face."
"Well lately only you and my dad were capable of that."
"Seth and Summer too." Ryan joked.
"Well yeah. I guess I am underestimating the people around me."
"We will all help you through this. Anytime you need one of us, don't be afraid to let us know."
"I hope you are right."
"Marissa, you won't need the alcohol to help."
Marissa sat quiet at the mention of this. She knew what she was doing when she picked it up, but did it anyway. In the back of her mind it told her to call Ryan first, but she blocked it out. The numbness for some reason was more pleasing and quicker so she reached for that first.
"Ryan, it was a reaction. I should have picked up the phone as opposed to the bottle."
"It's alright. I'm not angry. I just wish you won't chose that over me again."
"I won't. I can't promise that though. To be honest with you."
"As long as you try. That is all I can expect."
Marissa smiled again at seeing that Ryan understood. She would hold to this as best as she could. Nothing in life is certain, something her mother has said before. Now she knows by what she meant. Learning the hard way is the toughest.
After an hour of just discussing the future, their future, Ryan drove Marissa back home. He told her that her mother needed her now and that she should spend some time with her. When they arrived at her house, a group of people already assembled there. Not everyone in attendance was upset about the news.
"What are all these people doing here?" Marissa asked.
"I don't know why. I guess they found out what happened." Ryan answered.
"I don't recognize half the people there."
Ryan quickly parked the car in the Cohen driveway and rushed alongside Marissa to find Julie. Maybe she would have answers to this. Among the mass of people were Jimmy's old clients. Eventually they discovered where she was.
"Mom, what are all these people here for? Did you ask them to come over?"
"Yes, honey. They came to pay their respects I guess. They started to arrive ten minutes after you left the house."
"I want them to leave right now. Look, they don't look like they came here for that reason at all."
"I can't just ask them to leave."
Overheard in the background is a man telling another associate that Jimmy now got what he deserved for losing all his money. Marissa overheard this and walked over to the man. Ryan told her not to do this.
"What did you just say about my dad? I want you to say that to my face!"
"Marissa, let's just get out of here." Ryan tried to pull her back.
"Ryan, I can handle this." Marissa turned again to the man. "How dare you say that about my dad! I want you leave right now."
"Oh ho. Aren't you sad that your dad can't buy you anything you want anymore?" The man laughed.
"I said get out!" Marissa yelled.
Julie came rushing over when she overheard Marissa.
"What are you doing Marissa? Calm down."
"Then you ask him to leave along with the rest of these people. Then maybe I will!" Marissa stood her ground.
Ryan just thought it was best to stand in the background while all this was happening around him. He was getting along fine with Julie and getting involved would damage that. He actually cared now since he had no choice. Marissa would have to live with Julie after what happened so they have to get along somehow.
Julie knew that things would need to change with her and Marissa so she agreed to what Marissa suggested. It took a while of convincing, but the people dissembled themselves pretty quickly. The people who were there for the right reasons left the quickest since they respected Marissa's wishes. She was so loud that everyone heard her request.
Ryan began to leave since she did mention that the rest of the people had to leave as well. Marissa grabbed Ryan and told him that he was not going anywhere. She turned him around and gave him a kiss for letting her stand on her own two feet for what seemed like the first time.
"What was that for? I didn't do anything."
"You let me stand up for myself and you were still there just in case I needed backup."
"I think you handled that well and you didn't need me here at all." Ryan joked.
"I'm just glad my mom listened to me for once."
Julie came back inside after seeing that everyone left the premises.
"Marissa could I have a talk with you alone?"
"I'll just go home. Call me later okay." Ryan spoke.
"Okay. Thanks for everything."
Marissa gave Ryan a kiss goodbye and he left the house. Julie asked Marissa to sit down. They haven't had a decent talk since what happened. Now that Marissa was in better spirits, or in a calm mood at least, she needed to talk to her about how things would be arranged and what plans need to be made.