The next day after school, Kirsten was working in the kitchen when Seth found her.
"Mom, can I talk to you about something?" Seth asked.
"Sure, Seth. Is everything okay?"
"I don't know," Seth responded truthfully. "Has Ryan ever talked to you about his mother, or her letters?"
"No, honey. I think Ryan likes to keep his two lives separate. Sometimes I think Ryan feels guilty about talking with his mother, as if he can't live with us and still love her too. Why do you ask?"
"Well, I was in the pool house yesterday borrowing Ryan's Economics book. When I picked it up, Dawn's letter fell on the floor."
"Oh, Seth, you didn't read his letter, did you?" Kirsten chided. "That's Ryan's personal property. If he wanted you to see it, he'd show you."
"I know, Mom. I didn't mean to. But when I picked it up, some words jumped out at me and I couldn't help myself. Mom, she was really mean to him."
"What do you mean, 'mean to him'?"
"She was calling him names, swearing at him. Something about graduating from a fancy private school doesn't mean he's part of Newport. That he'll always be a screw up and his free ride with us won't last much longer. She said..." Seth's voice broke, "...she said we didn't really care about him, we were just making ourselves feel good by helping the poor kid from Chino."
The colour drained from Kirsten's face. Suddenly, Ryan's hesitation about the letter and trying to keep his letters a secret took on a whole new meaning.
"Mom, he wouldn't believe her, would he? He knows we love him, right? That he's part of our family?"
"I don't know, Seth. God, I hope so."
"Should I say anything to him?" Seth wanted to know.
"No. Not yet, anyway. Let me think about it and talk to your father first. Okay?"
Seth nodded. He looked like he was about to cry. Kirsten gave him a hug and tried to reassure him. Now if only Sandy would get home to reassure her.
It was after supper before Sandy got home from work that night. Kirsten was curled up in their bedroom, trying to read but she just couldn't concentrate. She needed to talk to Sandy about what Seth had told her.
But Sandy was worked up about something else, first. "I called Dr Kim today. I was ready to ream her out about worrying Ryan about graduating. It turns out he lied to us. He sat there and lied to us last night. For the life of me, I can't figure out why he wouldn't tell us the truth." Kirsten was tired and upset and couldn't understand what Sandy was talking about. "What are you saying, Sandy? What did Dr Kim want?"
Sandy was exasperated. "She said he was nominated by the faculty to give the Salutatorian speech at graduation."
"But that's wonderful, Sandy. Why wouldn't he tell us?"
"Because he said no to Dr Kim. He said he didn't want to do it. Dr Kim gave him the weekend to think about it and talk it over with us. But he had no intention of talking to us."
"I'm starting to think that he doesn't talk to us about anything," Kirsten muttered, more to herself than to Sandy.
"What's that supposed to mean, Kirsten?"
Kirsten explained the letter from Dawn that Seth saw.
"Sandy, these are two important things that he should be telling us about. He knows his mother shouldn't be talking to him like that, right? God, Sandy, he's lived with us for almost two years and I'm realizing he's still a stranger. I thought he was proud of how well he was doing at Harbor – why would he say no?"
"Well, Dr Kim says Ryan said he doesn't like talking in front of people."
"That's bullshit," Kirsten interrupted.
"Kirsten!" Sandy was surprised at her intensity.
"I'm sorry, Sandy, but he's had no problems with his presentations. His teachers always say he's articulate and well thought out – they obviously thought he could do it. Seth gets more worked up over presentations than Ryan. No, I don't believe that's why he turned down Dr Kim. There's more to it."
"Funny. That's what Dr Kim said. I've never known you two to agree about anything," Sandy teased.
Kirsten wrapped herself in Sandy's arms.
"It's not funny, Sandy. What if he leaves when he turns eighteen and we never see him again?"
"Why would you think that? He's got a scholarship to USC, he and Seth are talking about getting an apartment together, Caleb offered him a job at the Newport Group this summer. He's making plans that include us."
"But what if he believes his mother? What if he really does think that he's a project for us, that we're just trying to prove that we can improve his life? What if he really thinks we don't care if he's here or not, that we don't love him?"
"Then we have to talk to him, Kirsten."
"He's going to be so mad when he finds out Seth read his letter. And that you called Dr Kim."
Sandy smiled. "Then I guess that leaves you to start the proceedings."
Kirsten took a deep breath. "I was afraid of that."
TBC
"Mom, can I talk to you about something?" Seth asked.
"Sure, Seth. Is everything okay?"
"I don't know," Seth responded truthfully. "Has Ryan ever talked to you about his mother, or her letters?"
"No, honey. I think Ryan likes to keep his two lives separate. Sometimes I think Ryan feels guilty about talking with his mother, as if he can't live with us and still love her too. Why do you ask?"
"Well, I was in the pool house yesterday borrowing Ryan's Economics book. When I picked it up, Dawn's letter fell on the floor."
"Oh, Seth, you didn't read his letter, did you?" Kirsten chided. "That's Ryan's personal property. If he wanted you to see it, he'd show you."
"I know, Mom. I didn't mean to. But when I picked it up, some words jumped out at me and I couldn't help myself. Mom, she was really mean to him."
"What do you mean, 'mean to him'?"
"She was calling him names, swearing at him. Something about graduating from a fancy private school doesn't mean he's part of Newport. That he'll always be a screw up and his free ride with us won't last much longer. She said..." Seth's voice broke, "...she said we didn't really care about him, we were just making ourselves feel good by helping the poor kid from Chino."
The colour drained from Kirsten's face. Suddenly, Ryan's hesitation about the letter and trying to keep his letters a secret took on a whole new meaning.
"Mom, he wouldn't believe her, would he? He knows we love him, right? That he's part of our family?"
"I don't know, Seth. God, I hope so."
"Should I say anything to him?" Seth wanted to know.
"No. Not yet, anyway. Let me think about it and talk to your father first. Okay?"
Seth nodded. He looked like he was about to cry. Kirsten gave him a hug and tried to reassure him. Now if only Sandy would get home to reassure her.
It was after supper before Sandy got home from work that night. Kirsten was curled up in their bedroom, trying to read but she just couldn't concentrate. She needed to talk to Sandy about what Seth had told her.
But Sandy was worked up about something else, first. "I called Dr Kim today. I was ready to ream her out about worrying Ryan about graduating. It turns out he lied to us. He sat there and lied to us last night. For the life of me, I can't figure out why he wouldn't tell us the truth." Kirsten was tired and upset and couldn't understand what Sandy was talking about. "What are you saying, Sandy? What did Dr Kim want?"
Sandy was exasperated. "She said he was nominated by the faculty to give the Salutatorian speech at graduation."
"But that's wonderful, Sandy. Why wouldn't he tell us?"
"Because he said no to Dr Kim. He said he didn't want to do it. Dr Kim gave him the weekend to think about it and talk it over with us. But he had no intention of talking to us."
"I'm starting to think that he doesn't talk to us about anything," Kirsten muttered, more to herself than to Sandy.
"What's that supposed to mean, Kirsten?"
Kirsten explained the letter from Dawn that Seth saw.
"Sandy, these are two important things that he should be telling us about. He knows his mother shouldn't be talking to him like that, right? God, Sandy, he's lived with us for almost two years and I'm realizing he's still a stranger. I thought he was proud of how well he was doing at Harbor – why would he say no?"
"Well, Dr Kim says Ryan said he doesn't like talking in front of people."
"That's bullshit," Kirsten interrupted.
"Kirsten!" Sandy was surprised at her intensity.
"I'm sorry, Sandy, but he's had no problems with his presentations. His teachers always say he's articulate and well thought out – they obviously thought he could do it. Seth gets more worked up over presentations than Ryan. No, I don't believe that's why he turned down Dr Kim. There's more to it."
"Funny. That's what Dr Kim said. I've never known you two to agree about anything," Sandy teased.
Kirsten wrapped herself in Sandy's arms.
"It's not funny, Sandy. What if he leaves when he turns eighteen and we never see him again?"
"Why would you think that? He's got a scholarship to USC, he and Seth are talking about getting an apartment together, Caleb offered him a job at the Newport Group this summer. He's making plans that include us."
"But what if he believes his mother? What if he really does think that he's a project for us, that we're just trying to prove that we can improve his life? What if he really thinks we don't care if he's here or not, that we don't love him?"
"Then we have to talk to him, Kirsten."
"He's going to be so mad when he finds out Seth read his letter. And that you called Dr Kim."
Sandy smiled. "Then I guess that leaves you to start the proceedings."
Kirsten took a deep breath. "I was afraid of that."
TBC