Aloha! Well, I have another story. Future Chappies may or may not be co-
written by my sister, depending on if she thinks it's worth it. Credit to
be given to where credit is due, first of all.... I own not the works of J.
K. Rowling, may she live forever (or at least to finish the series,
Mwuhaha... ;-P Nah...we're better fans than that). Nor do I own What Not To
Wear. If this has been done before on HP, I didn't steal it from you.
What Not To Wear...
Harry Potter Style
"Our Secret Shooters have been watching a certain Potions Master for nearly two weeks. Severus Snape is a cunning and talented teacher and very popular with fanfiction ladies, but still leaves much to be desired in the fashion department. Our Fashion Gurus..."
*Off camera. "Your sure that's the line?" "Stick to the Script!" "Okay" *
"ahem.... our Fashion Gurus Lily Evans and Sirius Black are here with us today to surprise Mr. Snape at his 6th year Potion's class. They are looking to help bring some much-needed color to our Professor. The Secret Shooters Pig and Cy have been watching Mr. Snape every day from the rafters. They attempted to ask him inconspicuously what he thought about his choice in wardrobe, unfortunately he was not able to take the time to comment, as he had to prepare for Professorly meetings."
* Footage runs, dark hared man being attacked by owls. He shouts and runs out of the room. Footage fizzles out. *
"In just a few minutes Lily and Sirius will interrupt Mr. Snape's class, which he thinks is just an everyday Advanced Potions class. Little does he know that he is about to get the surprise of a lifetime. His entire class, nearly every student, all of the other teachers and half the population of the local wizarding town and forest have voted for him to get a Fashion Makeover."
* More footage, this time of a dark haired boy and curly haired girl. A little sign added later to the footage says "Harry Potter & Hermoine Granger, 6th year Students." Boy shifts nervously and looks around. "Er...right well..." He looks around again.
"Look at the camera! The camera, boy!" An anonymous voice mutters behind the camera.
Curly haired girl shoves stuttering boy out of the way. "Well actually, sir, we can't help you. We value our lives too much to try to show you Professors Snape's wardrobe. Now please let us get to Herbology. You're making Harry nervous." She stated matter-of-factly, and marched off. Footage sizzles out again. *
* "What's with this cheap Muggle technology?" Random voice from behind camera. *
"Right, well, here we are with Lily and Sirius again! They are looking at what secret footage we have."
"Ohhhh...LOOK! Oh, look, Sirius, isn't he cute? He's so nervous for the camera, that's my little boy!" Lily cooed. Sirius continued to attempt to turn his eyelids inside out, looking desperate to escape the room.
* "AHEM!" Random voice again.*
"Oh, right!" The two hosts for the show jump up. "Well, we're just about reveal our reve---secret fashion makeover plans to Mr. Snape!" Sirius said. He was the epitome of Wizarding Fashion, with a purple button-down shirt and black auror-syle pants under a light brown cape thrown casually over one shoulder.
Both hosts snuck up to the heavy Potions room door, and peered inside of the gloomy room. Their Fashion-culprit was sitting idly by his desk, scowling at the papers scattered on the wooden surface. He was peacefully unaware of any scheming against his monotone black Transylvania-style wardrobe.
Suddenly, our beloved hosts jumped out from behind the door with a shout.
"And now they're going to reveal their plans to bring Mr. Snape back into the late 20th century. Let's go see what they're going to say.... if they survived..." Announcer wanders on to the scene, dragging his microphone behind him. Our respectable hosts look up, "Moony! Get back behind that camera!" Sirius yelled.
Announcer yelps slightly, and runs back behind the camera. "Sorry, curiosity got the werewolf, ya know.... He muttered. "HEY!" He shouted. "Respect your announcer!" and then he continued to watch the scene closely on the side of the camera.
Lily ran perkily up to the desk, well, at least she was running till she spotted Harry, "Oh! My baby.... you can handle this part, Sirius, can't you?" She asks.
"Oh no you don't." Sirius said. "You promised that family reunions would wait till after the reveal." he chided, dragging her forward to the desk.
Severus Snape had been watching the preceding events without much interest. After all, it was impossible to kill someone closely associated to the Potters; everyone knew this. He knew it; he'd tried it. They just keep coming back. He was attempting to go back to grading when Lily bounded up.
She grabbed his arm and was trying to guide him to standing up so they could do the reveal. He didn't budge. She pulled again. He did finally look up, and scowled slightly.
"May I help you Mrs. Potter?" He asked slowly and coldly.
"Oh, it's just Miss Evans right now, since we traveled forward in time to film this show, you know." She said spiritedly. "But if you wouldn't mind standing up for a moment so the nice camera people can see you...." She asked.
He sighed and looked around. Dumbledore was definitely going to get an earful about this.
What Not To Wear...
Harry Potter Style
"Our Secret Shooters have been watching a certain Potions Master for nearly two weeks. Severus Snape is a cunning and talented teacher and very popular with fanfiction ladies, but still leaves much to be desired in the fashion department. Our Fashion Gurus..."
*Off camera. "Your sure that's the line?" "Stick to the Script!" "Okay" *
"ahem.... our Fashion Gurus Lily Evans and Sirius Black are here with us today to surprise Mr. Snape at his 6th year Potion's class. They are looking to help bring some much-needed color to our Professor. The Secret Shooters Pig and Cy have been watching Mr. Snape every day from the rafters. They attempted to ask him inconspicuously what he thought about his choice in wardrobe, unfortunately he was not able to take the time to comment, as he had to prepare for Professorly meetings."
* Footage runs, dark hared man being attacked by owls. He shouts and runs out of the room. Footage fizzles out. *
"In just a few minutes Lily and Sirius will interrupt Mr. Snape's class, which he thinks is just an everyday Advanced Potions class. Little does he know that he is about to get the surprise of a lifetime. His entire class, nearly every student, all of the other teachers and half the population of the local wizarding town and forest have voted for him to get a Fashion Makeover."
* More footage, this time of a dark haired boy and curly haired girl. A little sign added later to the footage says "Harry Potter & Hermoine Granger, 6th year Students." Boy shifts nervously and looks around. "Er...right well..." He looks around again.
"Look at the camera! The camera, boy!" An anonymous voice mutters behind the camera.
Curly haired girl shoves stuttering boy out of the way. "Well actually, sir, we can't help you. We value our lives too much to try to show you Professors Snape's wardrobe. Now please let us get to Herbology. You're making Harry nervous." She stated matter-of-factly, and marched off. Footage sizzles out again. *
* "What's with this cheap Muggle technology?" Random voice from behind camera. *
"Right, well, here we are with Lily and Sirius again! They are looking at what secret footage we have."
"Ohhhh...LOOK! Oh, look, Sirius, isn't he cute? He's so nervous for the camera, that's my little boy!" Lily cooed. Sirius continued to attempt to turn his eyelids inside out, looking desperate to escape the room.
* "AHEM!" Random voice again.*
"Oh, right!" The two hosts for the show jump up. "Well, we're just about reveal our reve---secret fashion makeover plans to Mr. Snape!" Sirius said. He was the epitome of Wizarding Fashion, with a purple button-down shirt and black auror-syle pants under a light brown cape thrown casually over one shoulder.
Both hosts snuck up to the heavy Potions room door, and peered inside of the gloomy room. Their Fashion-culprit was sitting idly by his desk, scowling at the papers scattered on the wooden surface. He was peacefully unaware of any scheming against his monotone black Transylvania-style wardrobe.
Suddenly, our beloved hosts jumped out from behind the door with a shout.
"And now they're going to reveal their plans to bring Mr. Snape back into the late 20th century. Let's go see what they're going to say.... if they survived..." Announcer wanders on to the scene, dragging his microphone behind him. Our respectable hosts look up, "Moony! Get back behind that camera!" Sirius yelled.
Announcer yelps slightly, and runs back behind the camera. "Sorry, curiosity got the werewolf, ya know.... He muttered. "HEY!" He shouted. "Respect your announcer!" and then he continued to watch the scene closely on the side of the camera.
Lily ran perkily up to the desk, well, at least she was running till she spotted Harry, "Oh! My baby.... you can handle this part, Sirius, can't you?" She asks.
"Oh no you don't." Sirius said. "You promised that family reunions would wait till after the reveal." he chided, dragging her forward to the desk.
Severus Snape had been watching the preceding events without much interest. After all, it was impossible to kill someone closely associated to the Potters; everyone knew this. He knew it; he'd tried it. They just keep coming back. He was attempting to go back to grading when Lily bounded up.
She grabbed his arm and was trying to guide him to standing up so they could do the reveal. He didn't budge. She pulled again. He did finally look up, and scowled slightly.
"May I help you Mrs. Potter?" He asked slowly and coldly.
"Oh, it's just Miss Evans right now, since we traveled forward in time to film this show, you know." She said spiritedly. "But if you wouldn't mind standing up for a moment so the nice camera people can see you...." She asked.
He sighed and looked around. Dumbledore was definitely going to get an earful about this.