Saturday morning found Seth out with Summer for the day and Sandy off surfing. Kirsten was in the kitchen putting away groceries when Ryan came in.
"Oh, Ryan, good. Can you help me with the groceries?"
"Sure, Kirsten. No problem." Ryan dug into the closest bag and started putting the food away.
Kirsten stopped to watch him for a moment. He was always so eager to please, so willing to help. Getting Seth to help was like pulling teeth. Why hadn't she noticed this before? Why hadn't she noticed that he still acted like a guest most of the time? She knew she had to start talking to him now, but she was worried where the conversation was going to end up.
"So Ryan, Sandy talked to Dr Kim yesterday."
Ryan froze where he was, with his back to Kirsten. She couldn't see his face and he didn't say anything.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Kirsten asked gently.
Ryan didn't turn around and his voice was barely above a whisper. "Because I didn't want to disappoint you."
Kirsten walked over to stand beside Ryan. "Disappoint us? We're proud of you. We're proud that you've done so well at Harbor, that your teachers think so highly of you. Why would we be disappointed?"
Ryan glanced at her sideways but then looked away again. "You're disappointed that I said no."
"No, Ryan. I'm not disappointed that you said no. But I don't understand why you said no. Can you explain it to me?"
Ryan sighed. "Not really."
Kirsten sighed too. "Ryan, you're an intelligent young man. I know you can form thoughts and articulate them. There must be a reason."
"I just...I..." Ryan sat on the stool and put his head in his hands. "I just don't fit in here." He looked back up at Kirsten. "No matter what I do, it's just not enough."
Kirsten leaned in close to Ryan, looking him in the eye. "Oh, sweetie, of course it's enough. We just want you to be happy. That's all we've ever wanted for you."
"I know that, but..."
"Ryan, you can't believe what your mother says."
Ryan pulled back from Kirsten and his face hardened. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Kirsten straightened up, closing her eyes to brace herself from the anger that was about to come. "Seth saw the letter from your mother when he was in your room the other day. He told me what it said..."
"Seth doesn't know what he's talking about. And he had no right to go through my stuff!"
"You're right; he shouldn't have read your letter and he's been properly chastened for it. But, it was an accident, and he told me because he's worried about what he read."
Ryan wandered over to the den. He had his back to Kirsten again, but she took it as a good sign that he didn't storm out of the house and hide out in the pool house.
Kirsten spoke softly to Ryan, "Has she been writing you letters like this for the past two years?"
"No," Ryan replied without turning around. "They weren't all like that one."
"But this wasn't the first..."
"No."
"Ryan, why didn't you tell us about these letters?"
Ryan turned around. "Why would I? What difference would it make?"
"Because no one should talk to you that way."
"You don't understand about my mother..."
"What's there to understand? She says vile, hateful things to you, and that's just not right."
"She's my mother, Kirsten."
"She's not acting like one! What kind of mother would say such hurtful things?"
"Mine." Ryan started to walk towards the door.
Kirsten tried to calm herself down. "Ryan, would you just listen to me..."
Ryan cut her off. "Why, Kirsten? You're not listening to me." Then he left the kitchen and headed for the pool house.
Damn, Kirsten thought, I don't think that went well at all.
Ryan was in the pool house, but didn't know what to do with himself. He'd never fought with Kirsten before. He'd never been mad at all the Cohens at the same time before either. He should have known Sandy would call Dr Kim. It was stupid of him to lie about it, but it wasn't Sandy's business.
And Seth. God, why didn't Seth come to him about the letter? Why did he have to run to his mom? It wasn't that big of a deal – it was just Dawn. That's just who she was. And she wasn't always like that. It was stupid of him to leave the letter lying around where Seth could find it. Of course Seth would read it.
And why was he mad at Kirsten? He wasn't sure, but he was. She thinks she wants to know what was in Dawn's letters? Fine.
Suddenly, the pool house was just too confining. He needed to get out for a while.
Kirsten was sitting in the den when Ryan came back in. She felt a bit shell-shocked after their argument. She was about to say something to him when he threw a packet of envelopes onto the coffee table in front of her.
"What are these?"
"Dawn's letters. You said you wanted to know what she said. Enjoy." Ryan started to head towards the front door.
"Where are you going?"
"Out." Ryan looked at her defiantly, as if he wanted her to say no just so he could go anyway. When Kirsten just leaned back in the couch and sighed, Ryan's anger started to diminish. "I just need some space, to clear my head. I'll be back in a couple of hours."
Kirsten nodded at him. "Do you want the keys?"
"No, that's OK. I'll take my bike. I'm really not planning on going far."
Kirsten watched Ryan go and then looked at the stack of envelopes that Ryan had left. Did she really want to know what Dawn wrote? She picked up the first one and opened it up. Yeah, she really did.
TBC
"Oh, Ryan, good. Can you help me with the groceries?"
"Sure, Kirsten. No problem." Ryan dug into the closest bag and started putting the food away.
Kirsten stopped to watch him for a moment. He was always so eager to please, so willing to help. Getting Seth to help was like pulling teeth. Why hadn't she noticed this before? Why hadn't she noticed that he still acted like a guest most of the time? She knew she had to start talking to him now, but she was worried where the conversation was going to end up.
"So Ryan, Sandy talked to Dr Kim yesterday."
Ryan froze where he was, with his back to Kirsten. She couldn't see his face and he didn't say anything.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Kirsten asked gently.
Ryan didn't turn around and his voice was barely above a whisper. "Because I didn't want to disappoint you."
Kirsten walked over to stand beside Ryan. "Disappoint us? We're proud of you. We're proud that you've done so well at Harbor, that your teachers think so highly of you. Why would we be disappointed?"
Ryan glanced at her sideways but then looked away again. "You're disappointed that I said no."
"No, Ryan. I'm not disappointed that you said no. But I don't understand why you said no. Can you explain it to me?"
Ryan sighed. "Not really."
Kirsten sighed too. "Ryan, you're an intelligent young man. I know you can form thoughts and articulate them. There must be a reason."
"I just...I..." Ryan sat on the stool and put his head in his hands. "I just don't fit in here." He looked back up at Kirsten. "No matter what I do, it's just not enough."
Kirsten leaned in close to Ryan, looking him in the eye. "Oh, sweetie, of course it's enough. We just want you to be happy. That's all we've ever wanted for you."
"I know that, but..."
"Ryan, you can't believe what your mother says."
Ryan pulled back from Kirsten and his face hardened. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Kirsten straightened up, closing her eyes to brace herself from the anger that was about to come. "Seth saw the letter from your mother when he was in your room the other day. He told me what it said..."
"Seth doesn't know what he's talking about. And he had no right to go through my stuff!"
"You're right; he shouldn't have read your letter and he's been properly chastened for it. But, it was an accident, and he told me because he's worried about what he read."
Ryan wandered over to the den. He had his back to Kirsten again, but she took it as a good sign that he didn't storm out of the house and hide out in the pool house.
Kirsten spoke softly to Ryan, "Has she been writing you letters like this for the past two years?"
"No," Ryan replied without turning around. "They weren't all like that one."
"But this wasn't the first..."
"No."
"Ryan, why didn't you tell us about these letters?"
Ryan turned around. "Why would I? What difference would it make?"
"Because no one should talk to you that way."
"You don't understand about my mother..."
"What's there to understand? She says vile, hateful things to you, and that's just not right."
"She's my mother, Kirsten."
"She's not acting like one! What kind of mother would say such hurtful things?"
"Mine." Ryan started to walk towards the door.
Kirsten tried to calm herself down. "Ryan, would you just listen to me..."
Ryan cut her off. "Why, Kirsten? You're not listening to me." Then he left the kitchen and headed for the pool house.
Damn, Kirsten thought, I don't think that went well at all.
Ryan was in the pool house, but didn't know what to do with himself. He'd never fought with Kirsten before. He'd never been mad at all the Cohens at the same time before either. He should have known Sandy would call Dr Kim. It was stupid of him to lie about it, but it wasn't Sandy's business.
And Seth. God, why didn't Seth come to him about the letter? Why did he have to run to his mom? It wasn't that big of a deal – it was just Dawn. That's just who she was. And she wasn't always like that. It was stupid of him to leave the letter lying around where Seth could find it. Of course Seth would read it.
And why was he mad at Kirsten? He wasn't sure, but he was. She thinks she wants to know what was in Dawn's letters? Fine.
Suddenly, the pool house was just too confining. He needed to get out for a while.
Kirsten was sitting in the den when Ryan came back in. She felt a bit shell-shocked after their argument. She was about to say something to him when he threw a packet of envelopes onto the coffee table in front of her.
"What are these?"
"Dawn's letters. You said you wanted to know what she said. Enjoy." Ryan started to head towards the front door.
"Where are you going?"
"Out." Ryan looked at her defiantly, as if he wanted her to say no just so he could go anyway. When Kirsten just leaned back in the couch and sighed, Ryan's anger started to diminish. "I just need some space, to clear my head. I'll be back in a couple of hours."
Kirsten nodded at him. "Do you want the keys?"
"No, that's OK. I'll take my bike. I'm really not planning on going far."
Kirsten watched Ryan go and then looked at the stack of envelopes that Ryan had left. Did she really want to know what Dawn wrote? She picked up the first one and opened it up. Yeah, she really did.
TBC