Title: A Million Years into the Sky
Rating: PG-13
Category: Drama/Romance
Summary: Ra is dead, and Daniel has to make a choice. Earth or Abydos?
Shau'ri approached her husband sitting in the sand. Or perhaps not her husband, if Daniel decided to return through the chapaa-ai. She had been afraid when she had gone to his tent that first night. But she had felt a twinge of excitement as well. This man who wore the symbol of her god had been different from the others. She had been intrigued by him ever since she had given him water outside the mines. She remembered being captured by his eyes, the colour the midday skies, and later, his smile on the walk back to Nagada. Although apprehensive about the man who was to become her husband, she couldn't help but be a little electrified by the prospect. She had been deeply hurt and confused when he rejected her.
Shau'ri had been too embarrassed to admit to anyone how she had spent her wedding night, even though they had connected. The thrill at teaching Daniel her language had filled her heart with a strange joy, which had grown as they talked through the night. Over the past few days, the feeling had blossomed and now…she couldn't describe what she felt.
Shau'ri sat down in the sand beside him, watching the setting sun paint the sky red. She tentatively reached out to take his hand resting on the dune, and he tightened his fingers around hers, but didn't look at her. "You're friends are leaving" she said hesitantly, unsure of how to broach the subject. "Yes" he replied, eyes fixed on the horizon. "Then…you will be returning too?" she asked, although she wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer.
Daniel sighed, looking at her hand in his, their fingers intertwined. Could he really go back to Earth, an entire universe away from her? He could still see her face after being hit by that staff blast. Remembered the desperation he'd felt, the ache in his chest seeing her lifeless body. Now seeing her alive, wanting him to stay, pulled at something in his heart. He wouldn't call it love, not yet, but whatever it was it was urging him to follow his instincts. Apparently taking his silence for an answer, she started to pull away, but he held onto her tightly, forcing her to remain next to him in the sand.
"What if I stayed?" he said suddenly, looking at her for the first time.
"Shau'ri…" taking both her hands in his, he looked into her eyes. He had to know. "I want to know more about your people, I want to explore the land, find out what's here. And…I want to be with you". He stammered slightly, then, and Shau'ri urged him to continue, happiness filling her heart. "But if I stay with you…will it be because you want me or….because it is the laws of your people?". He looked so desperate then, so convinced of rejection as his hands tightened slightly around hers. Did he not know the depth of feeling she had come to experience for him? She had thought the way they had kissed after the defeat of Ra would have been clear enough. She yearned to know more about him, more than he had told her in the darkness after he had kissed her the first time. All she knew was that she didn't want him to leave, that she couldn't go back to the life she had before. Shau'ri had tasted him, the essence that was Daniel and couldn't live without tasting it again.
She removed one of her hands from his grip and reached up to hesitantly stroke his face. His skin was so smooth and pale, so different to her people, different even, from the men who had come with him through the chapaa-ai. "If you choose to stay, Dan'iel, I will give you my heart" she spoke softly "Not because my father wishes it, but because…" unable to put her emotions into words, she leaned towards him slowly, initiating a soft kiss. She felt him respond in kind, reaching an arm around her waist to pull her closer and her own arms wrapped around his neck. The kiss was passionate, unlike the first, which had been relatively chaste and unsure, and the second, which had been tender and full of relief at being alive. A fire sparked within her as she felt her soul awaken to this man who had come across the stars for her.
She was vaguely aware of him laying her down in the soft sand, his hand raking through her hair and touching her cheek. She was breathless when he pulled away, his lips hovering inches above hers.
"Ask me" he requested, his voice hoarse, his eyes pleading.
She understood now, he was a man that needed to be needed. To be wanted, but he had been dismissed and ignored by so many in his life. But now, she needed him, and he had to know that. Looking into his eyes, she saw pain, rejection and emptiness. And she knew that all she wanted to do was take it away, to see him smile as he had done when he first spoke her language. "Stay" she asked, brushing his cheek with her fingers "Stay with me". He did smile, then, his eyes burning with need for her. He needed her, too, she realised.
Daniel kissed her again, hard this time and he was afraid for a moment he had hurt her. But her only response was to draw her arms tighter around him, and he nearly cried out with joy. All these years, chasing theories and knowledge and the past, and now all he cared about was the woman lying under him in the sand, giving him her love. Besides, it wasn't he was giving up his life's work, it was all here, in the pyramid and the people and the sand. The Colonel wouldn't be happy, of course, would remind him that he could never go back to Earth if he decided to stay. But what was left on Earth for him anyway? A tattered career and an apartment he had been evicted from? No, he never wanted to go back. He didn't even want to think about it, not now, when he was absorbed in the scent of her hair and the sweet taste of her mouth.
He pulled away from her, breathing heavily, knowing that if he didn't stop now he wouldn't be able to. And a sand dune wasn't exactly the best place for that to happen. He looked down at her swollen lips and confused eyes, and reassured her with a soft kiss to her forehead. "I have to tell the others" he said "They won't like the idea that much". She sat up with him, smoothing down her hair and trying to cool her flushed cheeks. "Will they make you go, anyway?" she asked fearfully. "No, I don't think so" he replied reassuringly, taking her hand and helping her into a standing position. The Colonel wasn't the most easy-going man in the world, but he should understand, or at least respect his decision. Still holding onto her hand, they began the short journey back to the pyramid where he knew the others were preparing to leave.
He had been right, the Colonel wasn't happy about leaving Daniel on Abydos. But he had looked at him with intrigue and what Daniel thought was a small bit of affection, agreeing to tell the Airforce he was dead. It was a big risk, he knew, for O'Neill, lying to his superiors, but the older man had been nonchalant, perhaps understanding Daniel's need to stay. He and the boys had buried the gate after they had stepped through, should the powers that be back on Earth decide to investigate anyway.
Now he was kneeling opposite Shau'ri, her beautiful face obscured slightly by a woven veil. Kasuf was reciting the marriage vows as the whole of Nagada looked on. Apparently, the night Shau'ri had come to him was only the beginning of the celebration. Now that he had accepted her (Kasuf's words, not his) the rest of the ceremony, lasting three days and nights, had begun. He had wanted to spend the first night after the team had left alone with her, talking as they had done in the caves, but she had been whisked away by the women to prepare. Apparently the marriage of a Chieftain's daughter was cause for the whole city to celebrate.
That first night had been the worst. He had not been allowed seen her at all, instead had been forced to endure the Abydonian equivalent of a bachelor party. At least there had been no strippers, for which he was thankful. But there had been plenty of good-natured jibes and congratulations from the Abydonian men, to receive such a desired girl as Shau'ri. It had been all in good fun, and apparently part of the male culture here, but after a few hours the testosterone was starting to suffocate him. He had spent most of the night writing in his journal, and wishing that Shau'ri could have been sleeping beside him instead of a snoring Skaara.
He had escaped the tent which had been erected to house the men for the wedding and sat watching the stars, breathing in cool, Abydos night air. Kasuf had approached and sat beside him, watching Daniel watch the stars. He had, for the most part, stayed out of the night's activities, keeping his dignity as the Chief Elder, Daniel supposed. "Are you thinking of your home, Dan'iel?" he had asked into the night, looking up at the stars himself. "Yes, I was thinking of Earth, Kasuf. But…this is my home now" he replied softly, unsure of how to act around Shau'ri's father. Was he unhappy about their marriage, now that he knew he was not a messenger from Ra? But Kasuf had smiled at him, the wise smile of a man who had seen so much suffering in his people, and who were now free. "I am glad to hear that, Dan'iel. We are most fortunate to have you stay here, to protect us".
"I am the one who is fortunate, Kasuf, to be marrying your daughter" he said carefully, trying to discover the man's feelings on the matter. He was slightly surprised to find Kasuf's smile grow even wider as he placed a callused and wrinkled hand on Daniel's shoulder. "My daughter will make you a good wife, Dan'iel. I am very pleased with her" he said, his voice bursting with pride. "I am also very pleased to have you in my family, Dan'iel…my Good Son". With that, the man walked away, dignity chasing his every step. Daniel followed him inside, allowing himself one last look at the stars.
The next night hadn't been much better. He was used to putting up with the intricacies of local customs on the various digs and research trips he had been on, but never had he been the centre of attention at one. The day had been spent with the Abydonians drinking and laughing, probably as much to toast their freedom as to the marriage. Daniel and Shau'ri had been seated at the centre of the masses, as many came forth to give them gifts or toast to their happiness. Pots and pans, oils and spices, potions and herbs were all laid at their feet to bless their new life together. Daniel didn't miss the whispering of several women to Shau'ri, either, he could only guess what wisdom they were imparting by her timid blush when he caught her eye. Just as many came to honor him as their savior, which was more than embarrassing. He tried to explain it wasn't necessary, that he wasn't worthy of their praise, but they wouldn't listen. He would be honored for all time in Abydonian history, they told him.
While he was at least closer to Shau'ri, seated beside him, he barely had the chance to talk to her, as he was rarely not engaged in conversation with a another Abydonian. She had taken his hand in hers reassuringly, silently asking him to be patient. And he was, if nothing else, a patient man. You had to be, in his line of work. He could wait. But as night approached, he came to realise that again his plans to be alone with her would be thwarted. The entire city of Nagada camped around the fire that night, and they were unable to escape. It was to be expected, he supposed. After all, no one but himself and Shau'ri knew that their marriage had not been consummated that first night. In the Abydonian's eyes, what would one more day hurt?
But it did hurt Daniel. Quite a bit, to be so close to her, yet so unable to touch her in the way he wanted to. It was a desire that had shocked him. Never before had he felt the utter need, the want for a person before. Even in his relationship with Sarah, sex had always come second to his work. But here, now, with Shau'ri, his soul cried out for her touch and all he could do was wait. He was at least comforted by the solid weight of her head against his chest as they slept, his arms around her in a tight embrace.
But now was the culmination of the celebration, the wedding ceremony. Kasuf blessed their marriage with the prayers of his forefathers, as he and Shau'ri repeated the vows. She removed her veil, then, and he was once again struck by the beauty of her face, but even more by the love that shone out of her eyes. She drunk wine from a small round cup, blessed by Kasuf and handed it to him, urging to do the same. Daniel felt the sweet liquid flow down his throat, and he clutched the bowl in his hand as the Abydonians cheered. Shau'ri held out a hand to him and helped him to his feet. Kasuf smiled and hugged first his daughter, then Daniel. "Congratulations, my son" he whispered to him before moving off the join the celebration. Shau'ri looked at him then, a tear running down her cheek as she moved into his arms. Holding her against his chest, Daniel closed his eyes and felt her warmth envelop him. This was it, he decided. This was what he wanted to feel for the rest of his life.
Later they stood in the home Kasuf had given to them as a wedding gift, lit only by torchlight. They were finally alone, and as Shau'ri smiled at him playfully, he could tell she was thinking the same thing. She moved towards him slowly, her hands coming to rest on his chest as his moved around her waist, drawing her body against his. He buried his face in her hair, inhaling its sweet, spicy scent. He had removed his glasses, and she touched his face in wonder, finally seeing his eyes unobscured by lenses. He kissed her, desperate to taste her again, reveling in her response as she opened her mouth to his probing tongue. Her gentle hands played with the hair at the back of his neck, as he moved his lips to her throat, tasting her skin. She let out a small moan at the assault, moving her head back to give him better access.
Daniel stopped, however, and she whimpered slightly as the cool air hit her skin where his lips had been. Breathing heavily, he licked his lips. "Shau'ri…I love you" he blurted out, now knowing that it was the truth. He loved her, he who had never loved anyone, with the exception of his parents. She drew his lips down her hers again, desperate from the warmth she had lost when he'd pulled away. They stumbled towards the bed and Shau'ri allowed him to push her down as they became silent, save for the gasps and moans of their desperate love.
Daniel stared down at his sleeping wife as the sun broke through the curtains, drawing patterns of light on her face. God, what was this? In love with a woman he'd only known six days? Living on an alien planet married to her…and loving every minute of it? This wasn't like him, he knew, but he supposed extenuating circumstances allowed for it. He smiled remembered the activities he and his wife had engaged in the night before. He loved thinking that: his wife. The first time had been frantic, almost, so desperate to experience their newly discovered love, overpowered by the desire they had been repressing for days. The second time they had made love it had been slow and tender, exploring every inch of each other, mapping out each other's bodies. He had held her tightly afterwards, every inch of her skin pressed against his as they slept.
Smiling, Daniel's hand wandered down to the spot on her stomach, which he had discovered to be quite ticklish. Running his fingertips over her soft skin, he delighted at the giggle that escaped her lips. He kissed her eyelids in an effort to wake her up fully, and was rewarded by a playful swat on his arm as she opened her eyes. "Are you always such a pest, husband?" she asked sleepily, her fingers absently playing with a lock of hair. But her voice was teasing, and in her eyes there was an invitation, so he leaned down to kiss her. Stopping suddenly, he felt doubt settle in. He had admitted to himself that he loved her, but was that enough? It was too good to be true, this beautiful, intelligent woman who actually seemed to love him back.
Everyone he'd ever cared about had abandoned him, his parents, the few foster homes he had come to like, Sarah…well that wasn't really true. He had been the one to walk away from her, but that wasn't the point. The point was that if he poured his love into her as he ached too, who could guarantee that he wouldn't lose her? Pulling away, Daniel sat up in the bed, turning away from her. What was wrong with him? He knew better than to care about anyone, or to let anyone care about him.
Shau'ri was startled by how quickly he pulled away from her. Was he regretting his decision to stay already? No, that couldn't be it, he'd said he loved her the night before, and she had felt his love in the way he held her the entire night, wrapped tightly in his embrace. Her mind told her she was being rejected, but her heart knew better. She slowly rose her knees, drawing the sheets around her body and gently resting her hands on his shoulders. He flinched slightly at her touch, but she was not deterred, letting her fingers play across his skin in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. "Dan'iel?" she questioned, silently pleading that he trusted her enough to confide in her.
He swallowed heavily; "Shau'ri…I…" he seemed to be unable to find the right words. "On my planet, I was alone" he finally said, "I was alone for so long I forgot what it was like not to be". She sighed, and moved closer to him, her chest resting against his back, placing a small kiss to his shoulder blade. "You're not alone anymore, my Dan'iel. I will always be here". He tensed violently, his voice wavering "But that's what I'm afraid of" he whispered, so quietly she could barely hear him "Everyone I ever loved I've lost. I don't think I could handle losing you too".
His head fell into his hands and Shau'ri moved around on the bed until she was facing him. She replaced his hands with her own and forced him to look at her. "Dan'iel" she said determinedly, "I love you. I will never leave you" she wiped away a lone tear that had escaped down his cheek "You are not going to lose me". She pressed her lips to his, hoping to reassure him of her love, of her devotion. Then she took his hand in her own, intertwining their fingers and whispered "If you trust nothing else" she tightened her fingers "Trust this". Her other hand caressed his face, her fingers tracing his lips "Trust me when I say you will never be alone again".
Daniel did trust her, trusted the love he felt when she kissed him again, trusted the soft hands that wound themselves around his hair, trusted the voice that whispered love into his ear. And for the first time since his parent's death, he felt at peace. As she fell asleep once more, he tightened his grip around her, and believed. He wasn't alone.