DISCLAIMER- Okay, I don't own the idea of lots of bags being mixed up. I also don't own the characters. I do own Fargo. Not the city, of course, but the character. I'll explain later.
(A/N-This is a VERY CONFUSING STORY! So BEWARE! It's taken off a movie called What's up Doc?. It's not Bugs Bunny. It's FUNNY! YOU SHOULD SEE IT! OOPS! I THINK I'M STUCK IN CAPS LOCK! That's better. Anyway, let me explain something before we begin. 7 members of the crew all happen to bring suitcases that look the same on one mission. Namely, brown, leather suitcases. Let me review who has what in each suitcase:
Chekov- valuable Russian artifacts.
Sulu- Japanese swords
Kirk- TOP SECRET PAPERS. In other words, letters from his mother.
Spock- test tubes, chemicals, etc.
McCoy- medical equipment.
Uhura- clothes, make-up, etc.
Ensign Snodgrass- light bulbs. (We don't know why he has them. We may never
know)
Snodgrass- Hey! You never know! A light bulb might burn out!
(A/N-That explains it *perfectly*. Anyway, this is the story:)
Chapter one- In which things start to get a bit confuzzling
Scene1
Narrator- After a shore leave, the bridge crew, McCoy, and Ensign Snodgrass are beaming back up to the Enterprise. They are all carrying identical brown leather suitcases.
McCoy- What's with all the tape, Jim?(Looks at all the caution tape on Kirk's bag that says stuff like TOP SECRET and KEEP OUT and NO TOUCHING)
Kirk- (holds bag protectively) Nothing! It's nothing of interest, whatsoever! Don't look!
McCoy- You should probably take off the caution tape. Otherwise, people will want to look in it.
Kirk- Oh, right. (removes tape)
Spock- Why would caution tape raise curiosity?
McCoy- It would to humans.
Spock- I still do not see-
McCoy- Remember? Humans are illogical! Especially me!
Spock- I am aware of that. I was giving you an opportunity to try to convince me that you are logical.
McCoy- Well, I'm not!
Kirk- Is it just me, Bones, or does anything anyone says to you start an argument?
McCoy- That's not true! I mean... (looks confused) wait....
Narrator- Spock, McCoy and Kirk go to put their bags away.
Chekov- (opens bag) Hey, Sulu! Come look at this!
Sulu- (puts down his bag) What? (comes over)
Chekov- (shows Sulu his artifacts) Aren't these great? I love Russian artifacts!
Ensign Snodgrass- (Trips and falls over nothing) Woah! (his bag goes flying across the room)
WIOTT(Whoever Is Operating The Transporter)- Are you okay?
Snodgrass- Why do I always trip? What did I trip over? Where's my bag? (sees the bag Sulu left and thinks it's his own) Is this it? It looks like it, but are there lots of
bags that look like mine? (leaves with the bag)
Narrator- Sulu gets bored listening to Chekov's Russian lecture.
Sulu- I'd better get back to the bridge. (goes over to where his bag was) I could have sworn this was were my bag was.
Narrator- He sees a bag that was thrown over in a corner.
Sulu- No I don't! Where is it?
Narrator- Right there! (points)
Sulu- Oh. Okay. (picks up bag)
Scene 2
Narrator- Now see Kirk, Spock and McCoy, who are walking down the hallway with brown, leather suitcases.
Uhura- (running up to them) Captain! I have a message from Starfleet Command!
McCoy- You always do.
Kirk- Is it a mission?
Uhura- I think so, Captain.
Kirk- (reading) Looks like a Ferengi prisoner escaped and they want me to catch him.
Uhura- Do you want me to do anything, Captain?
Kirk- Actually, yes. Do you have any Christmas lights?
Uhura- Ah, I think so. Why? It's a bit past Christmas.
Kirk- I want you to string them around the Enterprise to make words that say stuff like: "Valuables here!" or "Top Secret Starfleet stuff" or "If you're a Ferengi
who's escaping the authorities, come here." Okay?
Uhura- (gives him a strange look) Uh.....Okay, Captain.
Kirk- Get Sulu and Chekov to help.
Narrator- Uhura leaves.
McCoy- What was that about?
Kirk- Well, I figured that the escaped prisoner might fall for the signs.
McCoy- (shaking head) Nobody is that stupid.
Kirk- (shrugs) You never know.
Spock- Perhaps it would be best if we all go to the bridge.
McCoy- Okay. We can put our bags away later.
Scene 3
Narrator- We now turn to the shuttle craft that is outside the ship. Or a stolen shuttle craft to be precise. Inside, there is an evil Ferengi, pretending to be an
honest merchant.
Fargo- (laughing) MUAHAHAHAHA!
Narrator- Hey, isn't your name a place in Texas or somewhere?
UBP(Unidentified Backstage Person)- Actually, I think it's North Dakota.
Fargo- (pauses) I don't care! I'm an evil Ferengi who has escaped from jail! I mean......(looks around) I'm just an honest merchant. Hey, look at that!
Narrator- Fargo sees the words written on the Enterprise in lights. It may not be possible to string lights out in space, but don't complain, because we won't listen.
Fargo- That looks like a good place for an evil- I mean, a honest merchant to stay.
Narrator- The ..cough..cough... "honest merchant" decides against attacking the Enterprise and stealing its valuables. He decides on a *much nicer* way. He's
going to sneak aboard the ship and steal its valuables.
Fargo- Hey! I want to save lives!
Narrator- Yeah, like your own.
Fargo- Well, who cares?
Narrator- While no one is looking, a Ferengi beams aboard the Enterprise.
I'll leave off with that small cliffhanger while I wait for REVIEWS!!!!
(A/N-This is a VERY CONFUSING STORY! So BEWARE! It's taken off a movie called What's up Doc?. It's not Bugs Bunny. It's FUNNY! YOU SHOULD SEE IT! OOPS! I THINK I'M STUCK IN CAPS LOCK! That's better. Anyway, let me explain something before we begin. 7 members of the crew all happen to bring suitcases that look the same on one mission. Namely, brown, leather suitcases. Let me review who has what in each suitcase:
Chekov- valuable Russian artifacts.
Sulu- Japanese swords
Kirk- TOP SECRET PAPERS. In other words, letters from his mother.
Spock- test tubes, chemicals, etc.
McCoy- medical equipment.
Uhura- clothes, make-up, etc.
Ensign Snodgrass- light bulbs. (We don't know why he has them. We may never
know)
Snodgrass- Hey! You never know! A light bulb might burn out!
(A/N-That explains it *perfectly*. Anyway, this is the story:)
Chapter one- In which things start to get a bit confuzzling
Scene1
Narrator- After a shore leave, the bridge crew, McCoy, and Ensign Snodgrass are beaming back up to the Enterprise. They are all carrying identical brown leather suitcases.
McCoy- What's with all the tape, Jim?(Looks at all the caution tape on Kirk's bag that says stuff like TOP SECRET and KEEP OUT and NO TOUCHING)
Kirk- (holds bag protectively) Nothing! It's nothing of interest, whatsoever! Don't look!
McCoy- You should probably take off the caution tape. Otherwise, people will want to look in it.
Kirk- Oh, right. (removes tape)
Spock- Why would caution tape raise curiosity?
McCoy- It would to humans.
Spock- I still do not see-
McCoy- Remember? Humans are illogical! Especially me!
Spock- I am aware of that. I was giving you an opportunity to try to convince me that you are logical.
McCoy- Well, I'm not!
Kirk- Is it just me, Bones, or does anything anyone says to you start an argument?
McCoy- That's not true! I mean... (looks confused) wait....
Narrator- Spock, McCoy and Kirk go to put their bags away.
Chekov- (opens bag) Hey, Sulu! Come look at this!
Sulu- (puts down his bag) What? (comes over)
Chekov- (shows Sulu his artifacts) Aren't these great? I love Russian artifacts!
Ensign Snodgrass- (Trips and falls over nothing) Woah! (his bag goes flying across the room)
WIOTT(Whoever Is Operating The Transporter)- Are you okay?
Snodgrass- Why do I always trip? What did I trip over? Where's my bag? (sees the bag Sulu left and thinks it's his own) Is this it? It looks like it, but are there lots of
bags that look like mine? (leaves with the bag)
Narrator- Sulu gets bored listening to Chekov's Russian lecture.
Sulu- I'd better get back to the bridge. (goes over to where his bag was) I could have sworn this was were my bag was.
Narrator- He sees a bag that was thrown over in a corner.
Sulu- No I don't! Where is it?
Narrator- Right there! (points)
Sulu- Oh. Okay. (picks up bag)
Scene 2
Narrator- Now see Kirk, Spock and McCoy, who are walking down the hallway with brown, leather suitcases.
Uhura- (running up to them) Captain! I have a message from Starfleet Command!
McCoy- You always do.
Kirk- Is it a mission?
Uhura- I think so, Captain.
Kirk- (reading) Looks like a Ferengi prisoner escaped and they want me to catch him.
Uhura- Do you want me to do anything, Captain?
Kirk- Actually, yes. Do you have any Christmas lights?
Uhura- Ah, I think so. Why? It's a bit past Christmas.
Kirk- I want you to string them around the Enterprise to make words that say stuff like: "Valuables here!" or "Top Secret Starfleet stuff" or "If you're a Ferengi
who's escaping the authorities, come here." Okay?
Uhura- (gives him a strange look) Uh.....Okay, Captain.
Kirk- Get Sulu and Chekov to help.
Narrator- Uhura leaves.
McCoy- What was that about?
Kirk- Well, I figured that the escaped prisoner might fall for the signs.
McCoy- (shaking head) Nobody is that stupid.
Kirk- (shrugs) You never know.
Spock- Perhaps it would be best if we all go to the bridge.
McCoy- Okay. We can put our bags away later.
Scene 3
Narrator- We now turn to the shuttle craft that is outside the ship. Or a stolen shuttle craft to be precise. Inside, there is an evil Ferengi, pretending to be an
honest merchant.
Fargo- (laughing) MUAHAHAHAHA!
Narrator- Hey, isn't your name a place in Texas or somewhere?
UBP(Unidentified Backstage Person)- Actually, I think it's North Dakota.
Fargo- (pauses) I don't care! I'm an evil Ferengi who has escaped from jail! I mean......(looks around) I'm just an honest merchant. Hey, look at that!
Narrator- Fargo sees the words written on the Enterprise in lights. It may not be possible to string lights out in space, but don't complain, because we won't listen.
Fargo- That looks like a good place for an evil- I mean, a honest merchant to stay.
Narrator- The ..cough..cough... "honest merchant" decides against attacking the Enterprise and stealing its valuables. He decides on a *much nicer* way. He's
going to sneak aboard the ship and steal its valuables.
Fargo- Hey! I want to save lives!
Narrator- Yeah, like your own.
Fargo- Well, who cares?
Narrator- While no one is looking, a Ferengi beams aboard the Enterprise.
I'll leave off with that small cliffhanger while I wait for REVIEWS!!!!